No One Stops Traffic Like Angelyne
Because when her osteoporosis causes her to slightly toot her booty out, grilles get wrecked! She should come with orange cones and a detour sign she's so fiery hot.
Los Angeles makes me uneasy. I'm pale and kinda pudgy and every time I've been there, I've felt like a glowing orb of dough. Here in Boston, everyone's fat and drinks a lot. It's comforting. Also, we don't have earthquakes. We do, however, have faulty air conditioning on the T this summer. My apologies to everyone that I have showered in my sweat in the past three months while riding to work. A visual aid: It's like that scene in Flashdance when Jennifer Beals' stand-in dumps the water all over herself and twerks it wet. Because I was wearing a g-string and pasties, too.
I'd feel so much better about LA if I'd ever had the intense luck to have an Angelyne sighting. She's like finding a crumpled $20 in a pair of clean jeans or living in Mobile, Alabama and spotting the leprechaun!
When an individual who looks like Mrs. Slocombe from Are You Being Served's mentally ill daughter gently alights onto the LA streets wearing Jan Crouch's pink weekend merkin on her head and every piece of make-up in her vintage Caboodles on her face, you bow down. You help her pump her gas, and you buy a t-shirt from the trunk of her signature pink corvette.
And if you're really enterprising, you sneak yourself into that trunk when she drives away. Because you know this gem is a hoarder and she must hoard some AMAZING shit at her assuredly sparkly yet depressing condo. Wigs, cut-outs of herself, costume jewelry, inflatable furniture, all of her deceased pets taxidermied and dyed pink, and every deep, dark, and dastardly secret Hollywood ever had. Why would you not go?
Improve your day by checking our more pics of Angelyne in the gallery.
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I fucking love you for the Mrs. Slocombe reference. That hot bitch.
I like Angelyne. Anyone who's thinking of moving to Hollywood to make it big should be forced to see these images and read a little about her life. Like playing in the NBA, her outcome is far more typical than the rare success stories.
So sad. There's nothing worse than someone older who insists on dressing like they're 50 years younger. Angelynne isn't an actress or any performer; her only schtick is to dress like a 20 year old in pink. Just sad...
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
How old is Angelyne?
Why does Angelyne wear that thick support hose?
Angelyne simply must be written about here daily. But the difference between pictures and video is like night and day. Remember when a pap caught her in a 7-11 and she threw her BIG GULP at him and in her baby voice said "I'm calling the police! You've sexually assaulted me!" You know, from across the store.
I'm Baby Jane Hudson and I want to revive my ACT.
omg wow. Is that the only outfit she owns?
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“When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' He's two. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.” -George Carlin (RIP MCA and C.Hitchens) *caprica six was/is here*
@twat muffin, i think i'd be even more out of place! i feel like i currently look like a mini-me stay puft marshmallow man.
yes, i am pretty obsessed with angelyne, i admit it. she represents that gritty, 80's side of hollywood, for sure.
thanks to whoever posted her condo listing (sorry, i am too lazy to scroll down right now)....pretty much what i pictured it as, except the patio/french doors are really nice.
wouldn't be surprised if besides being a fame whore, angelyne has had her share of "sponsors" and "benefactors".
I'd like to know what she does to earn a living?
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 8:23pm.
This is what I imagine most Californians to look like:
http://www.saphirafashion.com/uploads/4/3/6/5/4365271/1324154_orig.png
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That's a relief IV! Holy shite! Cooked and well done!! But still better than Jello!
Russell Brand now?!?!??!!?!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Ugh, she is 90 years old and still wearing her Forever 21 getups? Sorry, no longer even remotely amusing to see someone this gross in a miniskirt. Even with her hospital grade tights on we can still tell that there are nuclear level-11 varicose veins and tons of loose shitty skin under there. Yuck, someone should have backed over her in that gas station!!!!!
Vera Charles, you nailed it. She is bucket list material for a visit to LA. You get lucky enough to encounter her, you're set. Has anyone ever done a magazine article about her? Where she lives, how she makes her living, her real name, etc.,.?
Lord...I'm from Mobile, home of the crack-induced leprechaun...I find it as hilarious as anyone else, but we've got other stuff going on, ya know?! We had Mardi Gras before N'awlins did, not that anyone cares...
Lindsay Lohan's costar's nalgas flew her so close to the sun that they both exploded into stardust that still lights up Hollywood.
This is what I imagine most Californians to look like:
http://www.saphirafashion.com/uploads/4/3/6/5/4365271/1324154_orig.png
And I know that is bad and wrong!
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Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan's Lip on Facebook.
Love her! London will take her if you don't want her. Did you see our Olympic opening ceremony? She'll fit right in.
Pink Death warmed over.... Teeheeheeheehhee
By the way, Evangelyne, tights and sandals, ARE NOT THE LOOK, OLOLOLOL
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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She'd be a prime candidate for that 'What Not to Wear' show. Sadly, if she ditched the floofy hair, 3 inches of goo on her face and the trashy wardrobe, she'd have nothing left to promote. She'd be just another memaw in LA.
Day of the living dead! I would love to see her getting in and out of her corvette. I'm sure it is quite graceful.
Submitted by Orangina on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 6:07pm.
Does anyone actually know who this person is?
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She's a caricature of sorts (of herself) - one of the original Kartrashian prototypes without the desperation:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angelyne
LOL orangina, I know her from here and TMZ< I think people in LA know who she is (bunch of freaks out there)
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"Shut up, brain!" I replied. "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun."
Does anyone actually know who this person is? Or do we just pretend we do because MK posts about her? I'm assuming she was an extra on one episode of Dynasty in the 80's.
Love how in a few of the pics she's holding a magazine with her younger self on the cover to remind people who she is, or rather, was.
No clue why this lady is even famous! Simmons does it better in EVERY WAY, except he's not into pink, so her job is safe! The dead behind the eyes side-eye she gives that voluptuous AMAZON in the thumb #9 says it all, Angelyne is well aware of her limitations, LMAO! hahahahhaha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Jane Fond and the Hepburn, Ms. Streep, Helen Mirren, classy, gorgeous older women, there is hope with them.....this one is why not embracing old age will fuck you up bad
Jane Fond and the Hepburn, Ms. Streep, Helen Mirren, classy, gorgeous older women, there is hope with them.....this one is why not embracing old age will fuck you up bad
If you like pink, that car is so very cool. I'm surprised you don't see more considering the number of rich daddy daughters, especially in S. Cal.
I know this cunts bio on Wiki says she's 54 but I remember her being an older hag/model already while I was growing up in L.A. and I'm 55. She's GOT to be at least 65. But probably closer to 75. Lumpy legs give it away every time.
"I am special and I will never be one of you." - Charlie Sheen
This woman has to be near 80. She looked 40 in the 80's.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
How old is this.....thing?
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
Submitted by babybunny on Sun, 08/12/2012 - 4:33pm.
True dat! Smart ass bitch thinks it knows everything.
On topic: I can't with those thick hose. It's like looking at my demented granny on the ho stroll.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
Ahhh...Angelyne.
Long time lurker, first time posting.
I have been watching this hot mess for well over 3 decades here in LA, she has GOT to be 70+ by now. At one time, I think in the 80's she was living on the Palos Verdes Peninsula somewhere and I saw her almost daily. She is a feast for the eyes, for those who love people watching!
Actually if someone gave her a really good head to toe makeover, she could be really classy looking, she is not bad looking in person. She just dresses totally wrong and tacky for a woman of her age.
Damn I typed Memaw and this fucking iPad changed it to Emma! Typing on this thing sucks!
Wait a sec I have been here for about 26 years, tall, dark hair, big original nose and body parts, learned to tune out 99 percent of the bullshit beauty standards, trust me I see more normal looking men and women than the plastic people, the plastics are really a small percentage, but if she was born in 1958 she is just a tiny bit older than me and trust she looks way older than me, Ithink it is the drugs she takes and bad plastic surgery cause home trick looks almost 70 here, but this trick is def on drugs, those half mast eyes don't lie, but she knows she is a parody she knows it, so why do people trip, she is a Emma's now so cut her a break!
Submitted by MFinBH: "DOB of 1958 is possible for one reason: While by contemporary standards, Angelyne sure looks like a beat-up 54, Bette Davis was exactly 54 when she played Baby Jane Hudson.
Case closed."
Also, she looks older by trying to appear younger/sexier. I bet if she had regular hair in a pageboy and basic makeup and was wearing a pair of yoga pants and a t shirt, she'd look more like our idea of 54.
Mr. Whippersnapper & I went to Knotts Scary Farm & Hollywood for our anniversary with some family and friends several years ago and stayed at the Roosevelt.
We were leaving the hotel to go to On The Rox at the Roxy, and all of us girls were outside the entrance waiting for the guys to bring the car up. My neice and I turn around and see Angelyne waltzing out of the hotel and walked right past us into a waiting limo.
My neice and I just turned at each other and said OH. MY. GOD. That was fucking Angelyne! And proceeded to laugh our asses off.
She really did look kind of fucking ridiculous, but I can't hate. C'est la vie.
And she looks even older in person, face to face, we were 5 feet away from her.
Lucifer_Sam -- it's definitely something you should experience at one point in your life. Unfortunately, at least it's my belief, you have to stay at the nice places to have a good impression of the place. Years later I spent time in northern CA, the Carmel & Big Sur area, and I much prefer that area. I've never been to Europe -- I would love to visit Venice & Paris; they sound divine.
@ Twatty
I don't have a good mental image of it at all. My sister (whom I dislike) is there right now visiting friends, but she goes to all the nice places so she likes it there. It's just not me at all. I'm more of a Venice/Paris kind of girl.
I thought she was like 35 back when those billboards went up. I could be over exaggerating, but she was no spring chicken even back then. Looking at her makes me sad.
I really believe in growing old gracefully.
I was surprised that anyone would think this failure was any sort of icon...well maybe for broken dreams. If this bizare old loon represents Hollywood its the Hollywood of the early 80s, before they cleaned it up, with the hypodermic needles and the wino piss on the walk of fame.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
bambam -- 1958 my ass; 1938 as her DOB is more like it!
DOB of 1958 is possible for one reason: While by contemporary standards, Angelyne sure looks like a beat-up 54, Bette Davis was exactly 54 when she played Baby Jane Hudson.
Case closed.
deucenoir -- I started going to LA in 1995 and I've been there a dozen times since then. When I started going, I was about a size 4, but I'm 5'7" and very pale. I felt huge compared to most of those women; they were all much shorter, extremely dark because of their tans and they all had tons of plastic surgery, eyes, lips & enormous breasts. The only celebrities I saw there were William Shatner and Larry Flynt. Yeah, all those trips there and that's all I could come up with.
Lucifer_Sam -- LA is hell, but it's a great place to visit. I love it. But you have to stay at the really nice places. I would imagine the shitty places are even worse than hell. East LA and the places close to the airport are worse than hell.
She has finally reached the "I'm too old for this shit" point of her life.
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
Yup, somehow I knew Jack "would". SUCIO!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
She is a long way from her Moonlighting billboard of the 80s.
She is pushing 70 IRL, no doubt about it. I appreciate her use of white pantyhose to cover any case of old lady legs which is surely there, well hidden...
No hate from me.. somehow she pays her bills with her "fame", so more power to her, i guess
*would*
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers