Headbutt Your Wife, Lose Your Job

I don’t know shit about football, but I do know you can’t headbutt a bitch without her wearing a helmet. Which is why the Miami Dolphins have kicked Chad Johnson’s violent ass out of their pool at Seaworld.

According to Fox Sports (I think that was the first time this fag-o-tron visited their webpage – there’s no guys in jockstraps. Lame.), Chad got the bye-bye wave after being charged with misdemeanor domestic battery. He head-butted his wife and that’s it? Did the police not see that scud missile dude has for a melon? Mr. Potato Head had a violent, developmentally disabled brother the family kept chained in the cellar and it looked like that.

There’s more deets from the early Sunday morning incident courtesy of TMZ. Chad’s Basketball Wife (they let you stay on the show even if you change the sport you groupie for) Evelyn Lozada ran to the neighbors house with a cut on her head after their fight. Johnson was said to have been driving around their neighborhood looking for her when the police caught up to them. *shiver* He claimed he was driving around to give her time to calm down, blamed the fight on her and said SHE head-butted HIM.

Lozada reportedly told police that he was screaming “I don’t give a f**k! I don’t give a f**k about my career!” after he attacked her. Don’t threaten the Miami Dolphins with a good time, girl.

That sort of threat is why you make sure you don’t have any firearms in the house when you’re two assholes with no morals marrying for fame/money/appearances. People like that usually have a complete lack of morals and a sanity indicator light that’s blinking.