Jennifer Lawrence Is Not Kristen Stewart
If Kristen Stewart always had a red shirt-wearing, middle finger-throwing pap hater by her side at all times, the paparazzi would've never gotten pictures of her rubbing her butt cakes against a married man's crotch. Learn from Jennifer Lawrence, KStew!
If you're a skeezy married director who thinks that every white girl star of a major franchise will happily let you munch on her box in a Mini Cooper, think again. In an extremely accurate and totally truthful report from Radar, a source says that Jennifer Lawrence is telling her friends that she would never ever pull a heartless slut move by cheating on her boyfriend (aka that little kid from About A Boy). Yes, Katniss lifted her nose and looked down at that sparkle betrayer Bella as she said this to her friends:
“Jennifer has a healthy rivalry with Kristen, but she thinks that the cheating scandal she got caught up in could have been avoided. Recently, although she didn’t say Kristen’s name directly, she couldn’t resist having a subtle dig at her rival. She told a group of friends that she would never two-time Nicholas. Jennifer then went on to say that she has received attention from many older men, especially powerful movie directors in the past, and would never want to jeopardize her career by getting involved with a married man. She was clearly referring to Kristen’s liaison with Rupert."
You should never ever say "I'd never ever." You don't know what can happen.
What if Jennifer Lawrence lost everything just as civilization is almost destroyed by an unknown apocalyptic event (example: like Sarah Palin winning presidency in 2016). What if the rich overtook the poors, dissolved all the states and set up districts. What if every year, the richies kept us poors in check by making us fight it out to the death in some reality show. What if Jennifer Lawrence is picked for that reality show of death and aligns herself with a dude who has vowed to help her win the game. What if some science lab-made mosquito bit her ally in the crotch and the only way to get the venom out and save him from death is to suck it out through his peen. Technically, sucking on a peen is cheating, so is Jennifer Lawrence not going to do it? Is she going to say, "I would never EVER cheat on my boyfriend even if it means that civilization will eventually die a slow, terrible death because I didn't." Jennifer Lawrence is really going to let down an entire people?! Ugh, we're doomed and all because that goody goody won't suck the poison out of a dick that doesn't belong to her boyfriend.
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Submitted by SANS FARDS on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 4:33pm.
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Yep. Unfortunately, most of the U.S. is big and spread out, and has spotty bus service and public transpo options. Even in DC, which is a metropolis, I find myself wishing I had a car because the subways are meh, at best.
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In NYC we have a great subway system. We love complaining about it, but it really is as reliable as a subway system can be. However, riding the subway here is pretty much a disgusting experience. I'm used to it, but I can imagine that tourists must find it even nastier. I often fantasize about just being able to take my nice clean car to work instead of having to cram my way into a sardine can of a subway car, smelling everyone's ass, armpits, and hot breath.
It is super convenient though. And definitely cheaper than owning a car. The cost of parking here is close to a second rent.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Here's the thing, Kristen Stewart is annoying and bland as fuck, but who the fuck is this Jennifer Lawrence trick to open up her fucking judgemental trap and deposit her two-cents worth. Bitch don't act so holier than thou, you're still in Hollywood, Ho.
Also, not to be a cuntcream and get called a body image shamer, buuuut, trick looks more appropriate in those pictures to play Katshit or whatever her character's name is, than she did in the actual movie.
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"What if all you understand could fit into the center of a hand? And then you found it wasn't you, who held the sum of everything you knew?"
Jennifer's boyfriend is gorgeous; no need for her to cheat.
All I have to say about Jennifer is that she's gorgeous, she was amazing in "Winter's Bone," and she's a big goofball. That face she makes as the guy flips off the paps is her go-to expression:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/examples-of-jennifer-lawrence-being-funny-...
jen-law and her fake ass relationship with nicholas hault is perfect because both dont want to fuck each other because they gay and gayelle.
jen couldn't be more lesbionic, if she was more lesbionic she would be working at home depot.
and nicholas is a card carrying member of the poseidon's sons club, cuz of the amount of time he spends down there polishing the Triton.
According to Wikipedia, she is "dating" actor Nicholas Hoult? Are you kidding me? That guy is clearly gay. I don't understand this Hollywood charade of being linked with people just for press. It's the same charade that convinced people that RPatz and KStew were actually fucking.
jenlaw is a card carrying member of the lady loving club.
thats why all her movies have been about lady loving, well she was trying to tell you subliminally.
winter's bone, is about how she is cold towards peen, or peen makes her private parts cold = winter's bone.
followed up the hunger games, she is hungry for poon. and what does she do in the hunger games? shoot men to death! JEAH! thats right, those dicks better not get close to me or else ima arrow them right in the eye, penis eye! and her name is Katniss, which is an ancient civilization name long before our time, used to describe gayelles. it was actually homer who used it first in greece when he saw a two greek ladies licking their cats (not the meow meow type) and said to himself, ahh katniss.
so there you have it! another day, another lesson from loopy.
Cheaters think everybody else cheats.
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I'm a heretic. Feel free to drive me from your midst.
It is sad that somebody so much more talented and better looking would think of Stewart as a rival.
I understand the complaint that she is doesn't look like she is starving...but I think we need to factor in:
A) Katniss is one of the only people in her District who eats more regularly because she hunts her own food illegally.
B) The target demographic for the films is teen girls, who would see Katniss as a role model so I think it is good that they let her keep her natural, healthy, gorgeous body instead of insisting she drop 20 pounts to look like Kiera Knightly or something
i love the pic where she is filling up the car and the fat man is flipping someone off. she has a look on her face that looks like he got her with a silent but deadly.
TB- yeah, I can buy that argument...hunger has a certain look to it for sure.
Katshit shouldn't be worried about cheating on her hot, maybe-gaybe boyfriend and focus on these so called "friends" who mant to tell tales out of school for a buck.
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Shiitake happens...
Submitted by Daniee on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 4:33pm.
If you don't that world is ending type of film plots...don't watch Viggo Mortenson in The Road - I could barely watch it..just so real and fucked up.
THanks for the info Daniee. I've not heard of this movie. Viggo---imo is a fine sample of a man and talented.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 3:53pm.
Lisbet, idk about other states, but TX is big as shit. The next store is 3 miles away from me, my kid`s schools 5 miles. Without a car i am FUCKED.
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True that. When I lived in Texas I didn't have a car, and it took me about 2 hours to get to college via three buses (another two hours to get home.) A lot of employment options were unavailable to me because I couldn't get to work on time using just the bus service.
Some metropolitan areas are so awesome with public transportation that you really don't need a car. I fantasize about living in a place like San Francisco or NY city where you can just walk or ride anywhere you like. But that stuff takes infrastructure and city planning and most places in the US just don't have that. You either have a car and you go places, or you're car-less and fucked.
Submitted by Mayo on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 5:39pm.
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I remember reading that gas prices were very low there! WOW!
OnT: LOL at that guy in the red t-shirt hogging the spotlight, ruins the PAP pictures very effectively, ahahhaha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Hotmami, go see it....it's excellent.
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
The "fat" conversation wasn't so much calling her fat as much as saying she looked a little too healthy to be playing the part of someone who's town is starving and they have to eat squirrels for dinner (and no, it wasn't me).
I think it's bizarre that "sources" can put words in celebrities' mouths and the celebrity is the one responsible for it.
I think she's lovely and blows nearly every other actress her age out the water in talent and personality. Kristen was an anomaly. In the history of Hollywood, no one like her has ever been embraced and entrusted with so much. She is very undeserving. And, like the housing market correction, she finally got brought down to reality - her true worth. She's a vapid, stuttering, lying misanthrope, who cashed in on the desperation of plain girls (and women) everywhere who could project their mediocrity onto her, and still get the hot guy, the money, and the magazine cover.
Is J-Law a tuna tasting gayelle?
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Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan's Lip on Facebook.
Love Jennifer Lawrence....I've never seen Winter's Bone, though.
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Submitted by Tyroan on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 5:09pm.
Anyone who has seen Winter's Bone wouldn't mention Jennifer Lawrence and Kristen Stewart in the same breath.
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This.
Well yes, the gas prices at the US are very high. I live in Venezuela where we pay like 50 cents or something for gas.
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"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell
Who the fuck had the balls to call this girl fat?!
"The Road" fucked my head up for about a week. I read it in one sitting and was catatonic for hours. Not even kidding. Deadly book.
I can't ever read it again. Like "Schindler's List", once was enough.
Anyone who has seen Winter's Bone wouldn't mention Jennifer Lawrence and Kristen Stewart in the same breath.
I'm with Loopy and others I see plenty of camel toe, BULGE and butt here!
@Whamo, I bet you'd split the goal posts hahahahaha In that red dress she looked incredible. Very pretty! :P
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I like this Katniss chick NO hate here! And who are these chatty friends btw? ahah
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Jennifer is way too cool to have a "rivalry" with anyone. I wish I had her figure.
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Submitted by ElleDriver on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 4:40pm.
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Oh, see...now I have to read it! Damn you!! ; )
Submitted by Daniee on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 4:33pm.
If you don't that world is ending type of film plots...don't watch Viggo Mortenson in The Road - I could barely watch it..just so real and fucked up.
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The book is actually much more graphic and disturbing. A really fantastic read, but not ideal for reading alone at night. :P
She told a group of friends that she would never two-time Nicholas. Jennifer
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Oh she did did she? Who are these friends? Who told the reporter?
I can't believe people would believe a single word of any of this. Every single solitary word of this could easily have been made up by anyone. They are in the business of selling copy, I wouldn't be surprised if this reporter said "One of Jennifer's friends said she wanted to kill her and boil her flesh"
If you don't that world is ending type of film plots...don't watch Viggo Mortenson in The Road - I could barely watch it..just so real and fucked up.
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 4:24pm.
Submitted by Lope on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 4:20pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 4:03pm.
Read on, guys. Uncle Brain-Fart pointed out that cheap petrol is a necessity in the US, and I apologised.
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Yep. Unfortunately, most of the U.S. is big and spread out, and has spotty bus service and public transpo options. Even in DC, which is a metropolis, I find myself wishing I had a car because the subways are meh, at best.
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
stop driving yer god damn cars then! they are killing the planet! sheeesh.
stop driving yer god damn cars then! they are killing the planet! sheeesh.
i never believe this rivalry shit that ppl talk about. i wouldnt doubt if she has no fucks to give about kstew.
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 3:39pm.
chewi - I can't watch that shit, I can't even watch end of the world movies. I go into panic mode.
M.E., I can't watch any of that shit either.
The premise behind Hunger Games, well, just
too barbaric for my taste. End of World stuff gives me nightmares.
Submitted by Lope on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 4:20pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 4:03pm.
Read on, guys. Uncle Brain-Fart pointed out that cheap petrol is a necessity in the US, and I apologised.
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 3:51pm.
I'm amazed at the complaints from Americans about petrol prices. In Ireland, we're being charged about €1.60 per litre. That'd be, what?, about $2 per litre?
I love the US. I envy you your cheap petrol.
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Call me when you have to pay your own medical and dental expenses, there is no public transportation and you aren't given a check every week simply for having a child. Then we'll talk.
Ah Jennifer Lawrence is cool she doesn't bother me at all. She's actually very self deprecating. This story just sounds completely made up to sell a rivalry btw kstew and Jen. However, those hardcore kstew fans will probably think its true and send death threats to the poor girl.
Yeah, I call bullshit. I doubt the massively talented Lawrence gives the faintest flying crap about KStew and this "scandal."
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
Submitted by yoboo on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 4:09pm.
People called her fat? She looks awesome. She's got a great ass.
Food prices ate ridiculous already . Just got some fruit and veggies yesterday along with some milk , there go 30 bucks. That's 4 hours of work for me, fuvm.
Uvy - yes I have a Passat and that is for the cheap shit.
Driving a gas guzzling SUV around to get anywhere is a luxury to me, not to mention unnecessary.
*ducks*
I haven't seen THG but this is the chick everyone was screaming about being so fat?! She has a great body! I wish I could be so "fat."
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 3:59pm.
Fuck the bitching about filling your tanks. The cost of gas makes absolutely everything else skyrocket too.
Gonna be eating a fuck of a lot of pasta.
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This. Also, with the drought in the Midwest destroying the corn crop, it's already predicted that most food with go upwards in price around 8-12% because corn is in EVERYTHING (in some form).
Gas in CO is inching upwards also - I think the last time I filled up it was $3.79/gallon. FUCK!
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Lol , no biggie , lisbet, my Family who is in Germany tells me to stop ma whining all the time.
ubmitted by Lucifer_Sam on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 3:55pm.
Pretty sure Jennifer Lawrence doesn't make sentences like "Jennifer Lawrence has a healthy rivalry with..." Some bullshitter is trying to bleed this cheating "scandal" dry.
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I'm pretty certain 99% of the stories and bullshit about this whole "scandal" is made up. Pattinson has basically said nothing in interviews...he just acts like he always does although perhaps a little more anxious and ppl still find things in his demeanor and write shit. Although, JL does seem to come off as a little Ms Perfect. Just my observation - lol.
The Kroger card does shave 10 cents off & you can use it @ Shell.