You See A Dead Animal, CaCa Sees ART!

After both PETA and Alan Cumming figuratively threw red paint on Lady GaGa’s body for throwing fur on her carcass, she has finally responded to their asses on her site, but she still isn’t saying if any animals were harmed in the making of her ugly coats. Speaking like a true CaCa, she rambled out a stream of fart-dusted words and bullshit excuses to simply say: Chew my dick, I love wearing fur.

CaCa wrote that she won’t say whether or not her furs are real, because she wears leather and doing so would make her a hypocrite. Okay. Then she made a sharp right down HUH? Bitch Road by saying that she wears dead animals in the name of art. If that whole “fur is art” thing made your eyeballs almost roll into the next room, then hold them down, because her entire statement will make your eyeballs roll into the next time zone.

To the fans. i want you to know that I care deeply about your feelings and views, and I will always support your philosophies about life. We’ve been having over-arching conversations about society, equality, and politics for the past five years, and we should continue. I do not however support violent, abusive, and childish campaigns for ANY CAUSE. Particularly one that I respect. “Animal Rights.” I am choosing not to comment on whether or not the furs I purchase are faux fur-pile or real because I would think it hypercritical not to acknowledge the python, ostrich, cow hide, leather, lamb, alligator, “kermit” and not to mention meat, that I have already worn. This should already put me in a category as one who appreciates and adores the beauty of animals in fashion, but am not a strict vegan. I have truly always stayed away from skinned fur, especially i have never been able to afford a nice one, but this does not mean my morals are rigid and that I won’t bend at the sight of an absolute art piece of a coat. I have no chains about this. You see a carcass, I see a museum pièce de résistance. But I am truly sorry to fans who are upset by this, its a fair and applaudable feeling about the health and safety of animals. I respect your views, please respect mine. And to campaigners, Save your flour to make bread for the children who are hungry. And Kim Kardashian is fabulous.

When I see a bitch wearing a carcass and calling it a “museum pièce de résistance,” I see a dumb bitch. See, this is why I just can’t with CaCa. The first few parts of her statement almost made me sip on the CaCa just a bit, but then she completely lost me again when she started clouding the fact that she just loves wearing fur with that art and morals shit. Bitch, please. A taxidermy statue of your dead pet sitting on top of your descrambler box in your living room IS art. A $10,000 pink fur coat from fucking Armani is not.

And about that whole “save your flour to make bread for the hungry children” ridiculousness. Bitch, sell your coat and feed a dozen villages or better yet, donate your coat to a needy 80-year-old UES socialite widow.

Also, when you end a statement with “Kim Kardashian is fabulous,” all your previous points are INVALID, because obviously you have lost your damn mind.