Jennifer Aniston Wants Justin Theroux To Sign A Prenup

The National Enquirer (Side Note: Am I the only one who says “Enquiring minds want to know. I want to know!” every time he reads “The National Enquirer“?) says that when Justin Theroux asked Jennifer Aniston to be his wife, she didn’t scream out YES! YES! before pulling out an ironclad engagement contract and making him sign it in Baby Alive pee (Baby Alive pee IS thicker than blood) so that he can’t change his mind when the wine buzz wears off. But apparently, Jennifer did make Justin promise to sign a prenup before she took that 8.5 carat diamond engagement ring out of his hand. Uh huh.

Playing Rachel Green in almost every single movie she’s in has made Jennifer Aniston over $120 million, so she’s trying to protect her fortune and doesn’t want to trade doing shots of $2,000-a-bottle tequila in a rented multi-million dollar Mexican beach house for doing shots of Sauza at the El Torito in Northridge. Even though Justin looks like a street hobo who lives in a gas station bathroom and steals all of his clothes from Salvation Army donation bins, he’s actually worth $10 million himself, so he’s happy to sign a prenup. Some source said this:

“She’s working feverishly with her lawyers to hash out the pre-nup so she and Justin can marry by the end of the year. Then they plan to start adoption proceedings so they can bring home a baby in 2013. Jen has found her romantic happy ending at last. But she’s been around the block enough times to know that she has to be realistic. God forbid this marriage fails, but if it does, Jen at least wants the security of knowing she won’t be wiped out financially.”

Justin signing that prenup is good news for all of us and by “all of us” I mean me. Because I hope I live long enough to see the headline: “Jennifer Aniston Leaves Entire $120 Million Fortune To Her Cabbage Patch Dolls!” I deserve that!