From The Bitch, Please Files: Lindsay Lohan Is Sick Of The Media Spreading Lies

Seen here wearing the exact outfit Carmen Sandiego would wear if she stole a bunch of jewelry and needed to make an inconspicuous getaway, Lindsay Lohan landed at JFK from LAX on Tuesday night. After she hit a few pawn shops in Queens, she jumped on Twitter (via SFGate) to let out another crackie whine about how the media keeps pushing her down with their lies when all she wants to do it get up and sell all those watches she snatched!

Kleptohan is of course crying over that story about how she just so happened to be at an all-night party at a house in the Hollywood Hills when the owner’s expensive watches and sunglasses were stolen. LiLo basically told the cops to eff off by not answering their questions and the owner of the house thinks that the two dude friends she brought to the party are the ones who lifted his fancy crap. There’s a good reason for why Lindsay Lohan isn’t a character in Clue. Because in every game, bitch would be the one who did it! But LiLo claims she’s innocent and put another scratch on her broken record of a tongue when she wrote this:

All of this negative press is BS…. Whenever I’m doing great, people fabricate lies. It’s such a shame. I’m just sayin’ xo

When you’re a trick who is known for stealing crap and stuff gets stolen when you’re around, you’re going to immediately be suspect #1. This dumbass has to know this. It’s just like when I’m at a party and the host runs out of the bathroom screaming about how someone just fapped into her good hand towels, everybody looks at me. It’s understandable!

And I don’t know how Lindsay Lohan can hear all the hate over the sound of the stolen watches in her bag clanking against each other.