Well, There Goes All Of Lance Armstrong's Medals
Lance Armstrong is done going ball out to fight the doping charges against him and is throwing up his hands and giving up. Because Lance is done brawling with those bitches at the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency, he will be stripped of all 7 of his Tour De France titles and his Olympic bronze medal and he isn't allowed to ever compete professionally again.
Lance still claims that he did not have relations with that syringe full of performance enhancing drugs, but he's ending the dope hunt against him, because a ho can only take so much. Lance wrote a statement on his website (via People) yesterday and I should warn you, reading the first line will make you pull a tiny disco ball out of your bottom desk drawer (I know you keep one there) and hold it above your head while you swish your hips and sing out the lyrics, "I can't go on, I can't go on no mo nooooo!" You're going to Donna Summer out (or Barbra Streisand out, depending on your mood), so you should warn your co-workers. Here's a piece of Lance's statement:
There comes a point in every man's life when he has to say, "Enough is enough." For me, that time is now. I have been dealing with claims that I cheated and had an unfair advantage in winning my seven Tours since 1999. Over the past three years, I have been subjected to a two-year federal criminal investigation followed by Travis Tygart's unconstitutional witch hunt. The toll this has taken on my family, and my work for our foundation and on me leads me to where I am today – finished with this nonsense.
I had hoped that a federal court would stop USADA’s charade. Although the court was sympathetic to my concerns and recognized the many improprieties and deficiencies in USADA’s motives, its conduct, and its process, the court ultimately decided that it could not intervene.
If I thought for one moment that by participating in USADA’s process, I could confront these allegations in a fair setting and – once and for all – put these charges to rest, I would jump at the chance. But I refuse to participate in a process that is so one-sided and unfair. Regardless of what Travis Tygart says, there is zero physical evidence to support his outlandish and heinous claims. The only physical evidence here is the hundreds of controls I have passed with flying colors. I made myself available around the clock and around the world. In-competition. Out of competition. Blood. Urine. Whatever they asked for I provided. What is the point of all this testing if, in the end, USADA will not stand by it?
Since Lance's cycling career is over, he says he will focus on raising money for charity. One of those charities might be the Save Lance From Having To Trade In His Fancy Bikes For A Huffy Foundation, because there's a chance he'll have to pay back all of the prize money he won.
If you're cheering at this shit, because you're happy that Lance finally got his, let me poke at your buzz bubble just a bit. If Lance has to pay back that money, that means you'll soon see his face on Dancing with the (Alleged) Dopers and every other reality shit show, because a check is a check and Lance might need a whole lot of checks right now.
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All I can say is he had some size uniball to have gone through as many years cheating and never getting caught.
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Submitted by Cara on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 5:03pm.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 4:16pm.
Dumfuck ignored his cancer until it was late stage. Now he is some sort of cancer awareness pioneer?
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Really? His organization has raised over 500 million to fight cancer. What have you done?
edit: That sounded rude, which I didn't mean it to come across as. I just think there are a number of reasons to go after Armstrong - being a douche, for doping, for any number of things, but surviving cancer and then making HUGE contributions to cancer awareness isn't one of them.
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He ignored cancer symptoms until it was late stage, as I said. Is he saying what an idiot he is for having done so and how lucky he is to even be alive? No. I think you are a little too enamored of his association with this disease to be objective. Douche is a douche, and I will get my cancer awareness and donate my money to the American Cancer Society.
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I'd like to see the people at the top, such as the officials from the USADA, WADA, the Olympics, etc., get investigated. Why do they look the other way when it involves certain athletes, but prosecute others?? Doping is prevalent in sports because the people at the top allow most athletes to get away with it.
It will be interesting who ends up being declared the winner of the Tour de Fraud, since most or all have been caught doping.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 3:45pm.
Submitted by islandgirl on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 11:28am.
I don't know if he's guilty or not, but he (allegedly) porked both Ashley Olsen and Kate Hudson. So he's definitely guilty of poor judgment.
LOL! You're focused on what really matters here. Also Sheryl Crow.
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Hahaha--- priorities, people!! :)
Karma.
Anyone who has ever met Lance knows he is one of the biggest entitlement assholes on the planet.
KA - good point. The 7x/row wins should've been the tipoff/red-flag long ago. In no other professional sport does this happen.
His cancer organization now seems to have been a feel-good cover for his cheating ways.
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Submitted by KA on Sat, 08/25/2012 - 1:59am.
like my husband said to me earlier today, how are you the only one not doping, and you're beating everyone that's doping? how does that shit happen? my answer? it doesnt. perhaps once, maybe. 7 times? no fucking way.
Armstrong ignores own daughter after he performs unsatisfactorily in April 2012 Ironman:
http://www.ktla.com/videogallery/69187026/News/VIDEO-Lance-Armstrong-Ign...
It's sad, but people who take these substances have to know that at some point it all catches up with you. Either you're caught, worried about getting caught or your health suffers. Plus it seems many others were doing it too. The sport overall has become very shady at this point. :(
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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like my husband said to me earlier today, how are you the only one not doping, and you're beating everyone that's doping? how does that shit happen? my answer? it doesnt. perhaps once, maybe. 7 times? no fucking way.
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
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His ethical problems were evident when he dumped his wife & cute kids - for all those Hollywood skanks.
This lying jerk deserves this, and hopefully to go broke next.
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Submitted by RichBitch on Sat, 08/25/2012 - 12:14am.
This smacks of a vendetta / witch hunt / whatever to me. Why the fuck does it even matter now more than a decade later? It's not like he's a nazi war criminal or anything!
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It matters because he's a cheat. Accusations have followed him for years, now USADA has ten witnesses (former teammates) willing to testify against him plus test results they found "fully consistent" with blood doping.
He built his foundation on that pillar of seven titles. It's a lie, plain and simple.
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You can't be pregnant. That rape was legitimate.
Submitted by mharker on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 3:04pm.
For a while, my dad was the only person I knew who hated Lance Armstrong. Not because he thought he was doping, but because back then, Armstrong was portrayed as this devoted father when he probably never saw his kids while he was competing all the time. By the time Armstrong joined the Kate Hudson-Mary Kate Olsen starlet conga line, I knew my dad was right.
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I've hated Armstrong for a while. He is one arrogant douche.
If it lies like a psychopath, if it cheats like a psychopath, if it has a charity to solicit donations from people with real empathy, if it feels entitled to false rewards ....... Guess what! He absolutely deserves every bit of this and more.
Only a complete idiot would give this guy money for "cancer research". Surprise!! Steroids can cause cancer.
---------- Dying’s for amateurs. C. Sheen
This smacks of a vendetta / witch hunt / whatever to me. Why the fuck does it even matter now more than a decade later? It's not like he's a nazi war criminal or anything!
I think most of these athletes cheat. Lance is a total douche so I don't feel bad he was caught.
If everyone's doing it (and they all did at one point or another) and the guy's retired what's the point? I suspect this has more to do with a sour-grape fueled vendetta then anything else.
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Shiitake happens...
This arrogant piece of cheese deserves everything he is getting.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com
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if he did or if he didnt it still doesnt change the fact that he's a douche.
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
They all do it, don't they? It just smells like they chose him to be an example, and partly out of jealousy. As for money, with livestrong.com, I highly doubt he needs it.
Submitted by Bo on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 5:29pm.
I'll bet Cheryl Crow is laughing her ass off. Asshole dumped her when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Oh well, what goes around, blah blah.
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I'm sure she's laughing her ass off, but he dumped her a long while before she got diagnosed. He just dumped her to hump on other bitches, and she wanted to get married.
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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
SB, http://www.livestrong.org/What-We-Do/Our-Approach/Where-the-Money-Goes
Breakdown of their spending.
See, that's why I hate professional sport. The human race hasn't evolved that much that there can be another world record every other year legally. There are cheaters everywhere, be it doping, dressing men as women, athletes who dissapear to start a new life in the country the olympics were hold, after they were competing for 46 seconds..
The olympics seem(ed) more like a springbreak to me.
When the current British Tour de France winner spoke to the media, he said: "It's nice to be famous for achieving something, nowadays that's rare."
Well, that left me kind of puzzled as to me riding your bike isn't much of an achievement either as millions have done it before and it has no further impact on my every day life. Plus: Tour de France winner usually have to give back their medal, so why even bother?
I'll bet Cheryl Crow is laughing her ass off. Asshole dumped her when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Oh well, what goes around, blah blah.
CARA ~ last time I checked, only 15% of donations collected went to cancer research. The rest was used for salaries, expenses for his foundation.
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"Going to Burger King to eat healthy is like going to a prostitute for a hug." Dlister Supah 8.20.11
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 4:16pm.
Dumfuck ignored his cancer until it was late stage. Now he is some sort of cancer awareness pioneer?
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Really? His organization has raised over 500 million to fight cancer. What have you done?
edit: That sounded rude, which I didn't mean it to come across as. I just think there are a number of reasons to go after Armstrong - being a douche, for doping, for any number of things, but surviving cancer and then making HUGE contributions to cancer awareness isn't one of them.
This is bullshit! They have absolutely NO PROOF. He's never failed a test and they still won't fuck off. Bullshitty nonsense.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 1:15pm.
Had he just stayed retired he'd still have his metals and his honor.
Absolutely! The statute of limitations would have ran out - I believe it's 5 years after retirement. The USADA and Tour de France could not have done anything had he stayed retired.
But, Armstrong got greedy. By riding in 2010, 2011 he opened the door for the investigation - and with the advance technology avaialble today (vs back in 1999-2003) he sealed his fate.
As another poster said, he's a supreme asshole...and now supreme idiot.
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"Going to Burger King to eat healthy is like going to a prostitute for a hug." Dlister Supah 8.20.11
Dumfuck ignored his cancer until it was late stage. Now he is some sort of cancer awareness pioneer?
Fuck. That. Shit.
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I can't believe people are really buying his little turn around stunt. It's like when cheaters cheat and then they get mad at their significant over for looking at their phone and invading their privacy. They turn the attention away from the obvious problem (cheating) and put all the drama and YOU looking through their stuff. Sure Lance, no one in the world would have that many accomplishments and just let them be stripped away because they were tired of being questioned if they were seriously 100% innocent. Basically it's caught up with him, they have a lot of people testifying and he doesn't want his named dragged through the mud. So instead, he turns the finger and shames them. He's in a sport that is very full of doping. People he has beaten have admitted to doping...so you're really going to believe that he is just SO SO SO amazingly, naturally talented that he could win 7 titles, even with an illness? Come on. He's been doping like the rest of them. He's more gifted than the rest of them, but they're all doping too. He just doesn't want to admit that his doping techniques have been more sophisticated and harder to detect.
Team Armstrong. I don't care if he's an asshole or if he doped, he's done more to raise cancer awareness than probably just about any other single living person on the planet.
And a tax payer funded federal agency going after professional athletes should piss just about everybody off, in my opinion. If it doesn't, it should. How many MILLIONS has it cost tax payers since its inception in 1999? And for what? This is the culmination of their efforts? Money well spent, non? Fuck.
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 3:46pm.
It's really too bad for him, for his foundation, and for the sport. As in baseball, when many others are cheating and the rewards are so huge, there's a lot of pressure to join in.
I'm not sure how much freedom the USADA has to reveal what it found. If there were a public arbitration, the agency could reveal its facts and not face threats of defamation and so on. So maybe Lance hoped to keep the deets under wraps by giving in now? Much to ponder...
If there is no physical evidence, they what are they basing their decision on? If he passed all of the tests (as all articles say he has) then what is the point of doing them if you aren't going to look at the results?
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 3:38pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 3:26pm.
In which case I suspect that the only difference between Armstrong and his peers is that he got caught
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100% Mickey, he wasn't the only one using for sure. I remember in the 88 Olympics when Ben Johnston (Canada) was caught doping, apparently Carl Lewis was dirty as well but the powers that be for whatever reason never burned him, not only Carl but they would have had to stripped most of those runners. They sacrificed Ben and called it a day.
I think they knew that Jackie Joyner Kersee was dirty too but it would have totally ruined that Olympics
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 3:39pm.
I don't think Lance has ever had to testify, under oath, that he didn't take PEDs. In arbitration he'd have to. If you testify falsely under oath, there's a good chance you will go to jail. That might concern him a lot more than losing his titles.
He was the captain of the USPS cycling team. Almost everyone else on the team has admitted using or been caught. What are the odds that Lance also didn't use? At a bare, bare minimum, he as the captain knowingly condoned illegal use.
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All very valid points.
I'm kind of starting to think he's guilty just because he's the type of guy that would kick and scream and carry on for how ever long it took to 'clear his good and decent name' if he was truly innocent. So this doping agency must have some kind of smoking gun that will take him down to Chinatown, and none of us are aware of what that smoking gun is. Hmmm.
If I liked him in the least, I would be very disappointed, but I think he's such a fuckstick so I'm not really surprised.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Submitted by islandgirl on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 11:28am.
I don't know if he's guilty or not, but he (allegedly) porked both Ashley Olsen and Kate Hudson. So he's definitely guilty of poor judgment.
LOL! You're focused on what really matters here. Also Sheryl Crow.
Submitted by sushi on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 3:36pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 3:26pm.
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Kind of makes it sound like they made a deal -- he stops fighting them, they keep the evidence to themselves?
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I don't know Sushi, as big as this is I would think the public would put a huge amount of pressure on them to see the evidence.
I don't think Lance has ever had to testify, under oath, that he didn't take PEDs. In arbitration he'd have to. If you testify falsely under oath, there's a good chance you will go to jail. That might concern him a lot more than losing his titles.
He was the captain of the USPS cycling team. Almost everyone else on the team has admitted using or been caught. What are the odds that Lance also didn't use? At a bare, bare minimum, he as the captain knowingly condoned illegal use.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 3:26pm.
"It sounds like they do Mickey, I can't see them doing something so absolutely huge as far as world wide media coverage is going to be with no hard evidence. I think we are going to see a wide variety of drugs as well."
In which case I suspect that the only difference between Armstrong and his peers is that he got caught. I'm probably alone in this, but drugs or not, he was a great sportsman. By the way, when I was in Bretagne last year, I actually saw the tour riders pass by. Well, um, not really, because I was just reaching for my glass of wine and when I looked back up the moment had passed. That's how fast they ride.
Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 3:26pm.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 2:47pm.
This is just plain wrong. To ruin someones reputation so many years after the alleged transgression, without any hard evidence.
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It sounds like they do Mickey, I can't see them doing something so absolutely huge as far as world wide media coverage is going to be with no hard evidence. I think we are going to see a wide variety of drugs as well.
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Kind of makes it sound like they made a deal -- he stops fighting them, they keep the evidence to themselves?
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 2:47pm.
This is just plain wrong. To ruin someones reputation so many years after the alleged transgression, without any hard evidence.
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It sounds like they do Mickey, I can't see them doing something so absolutely huge as far as world wide media coverage is going to be with no hard evidence. I think we are going to see a wide variety of drugs as well.
If you read the SI article, it claims he admitted to taking shit during cancer treatment:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/writers/em_swift/09/12/armstrong/
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For a while, my dad was the only person I knew who hated Lance Armstrong. Not because he thought he was doping, but because back then, Armstrong was portrayed as this devoted father when he probably never saw his kids while he was competing all the time. By the time Armstrong joined the Kate Hudson-Mary Kate Olsen starlet conga line, I knew my dad was right.
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Silly rabbit.
This whole idea that there is some sort of vast conspiracy against LA is hard for me to swallow. If it was a few people, yes, but the rumors and claims have been there for years.
FWIW, I believe he doped along with all the rest of them. If he was innocent, he'd fight this to his dying day. He knows he cheated.
Here's all I can say in LA's favor: As a sport, cycling is apparently so tainted by doping that his titles probably came against cyclists as doped up as he.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 11:02am.
LOL @ "ball out."
Well, you can fake or hide the test results, because dope-testing is always a few years behind the dopers. Bike-racing is known for doping. And an innocent person would fight false charges to the end, whatever the cost or burden. So I'd say he's guilty.
The USADA supposedly had 10 insiders and purveyors lined up to testify that he was doping.
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^this
I recall hearing years ago that he was a known doper. It's common knowledge in the cycling world.
I always thought it was having just the one nut, that made him more aerodynamic, and gave him that extra edge.
My mistake. :(
This is just plain wrong. To ruin someones reputation so many years after the alleged transgression, without any hard evidence.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
I lived in Austin for several years and it was widely known that he is a supreme asshole with a huge ego, so I love this!
Lance Armstrong DID get caught doping back in 2001 according to the cyclist interviewed in the 60 Minutes report. Cycling authorities notifiied LA and arranged for a private meeting between him and the lab that gave the test. It apparently was squashed and LA went on to make a name for himself and parlay that into his cancer organization.
You figure if the cycling authorities compromised themselves the one time they'd be vulnerable to more, fearful of losing credibility if they were exposed. And Lance was doing good with the fame he gained from winning the TDF, using his story as a platform to start his charity.
But just like those mafia shows and movies, once they got in bed with LA the first time, he figured he could get away with it again and again, more titles adding more prestige to his image. What could they do? He had them by the balls (totally intended.)
Ain't no doubt he and his racing team lorded it over his competition as he attracted big name sponsors who wanted to be associated with him.
He was popular, doing good works, helping and inspiring fellow cancer victims so anyone threatening exposure would be bullied/intimidated or dismissed as a sore loser/hater.
But it's clear he made himself quite a few enemies who kept at it until it came this, apparently a strong enough case from the USADA that LA essentially pleaded no contest.
So. He still won the titles, he just didn't win them cleanly. His charitable work has benefited countless cancer patients (unless a story appears revealing a significant portion of donated proceeds has gone in somebody's pockets, like it was revealed to be happening to a few veterans charities.) Nike has already announced it will still associate with LA, having raised nearly 100 million for his charity. Life goes on.
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You can't be pregnant. That rape was legitimate.
If he'd rather risk losing all his money than fight for justice, it does look as if he cheated after all.