Hot Slut Of The Day!
Ms. Besse Cooper was already a HSOTD two Marches ago when Guinness crowned her as The Queen of The Mega Memaws by certifying her as the world’s oldest living person, but she’s made it through another year, so she’s getting her second HSOTD title. On Sunday, Ms. Besse celebrated her sweet 116th birthday at her nursing home in Monroe, Georgia and became a member of an elite group of eight super centenarians who have lived to see 116. Screw the Avengers! I want to see an IMAX 3D movie starring the 8 Super Olds.
Ms. Besse was born in 1896, married her husband Luther in 1924, buried him in 1964 and her four children gave her 12 grandchildren and her 12 grandchildren gave her a ton of great-grandchildren and her tons of great-grandchildren gave her a bunch of great-great grandchildren. Ms. Besse is also the head of the vampire authority in Monroe.
On her 116th birthday, Ms. Besse not only got a very special sheet cake from Walmart, but Guinness says Walton County honored her old ass by naming a bridge after her. Walton County also honored all memaws everywhere by making young brats ask “Great grandma, may I?” before crossing the bridge. If they don’t, they get two belt whips to the knuckles.
When reporters at her birthday party asked her what the secret to outliving us all is, she said the same thing she said at her Guinness crowning in 2011: “I mind my own business and I don’t eat junk food.” What I think she really means by that is, “Stop asking me that stupid fucking question and let me eat this cake!“
If I ever make it to 116 and reporters ask me what my secret is, I hope I say, “Eating pork rinds, filling my insides with booze and weed smoke, pooping wherever I want and not giving a fuck.”
via People (For Roy and Peggy)