Taylor Swift's New Song Is About The Break Down Of Her Contract Renegotiations With Jake Gyllenhaal
Ever since Taylor Swift's Sweet Valley High episode of a song "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" came out, every ho with only time on their hands (see: bloggers, the media, bloggers, office workers, bloggers and the unemployed on a break from watching People's Court reruns) has been wondering WHO IS IT ABOUT?!!! Joe Jonas already said, "Gurrrrl, it ain't me" and based on the title alone, most of us figured it was about post-pubescence. But UsWeekly (via Hollywood Life) says they know who it is and they say Jake Gyllenhaal was the inspiration for that mess.
A source tells UsWeekly that the song is one hundred percent about Jake and she even used a Jake look-alike (who looks like Jake about as much as the pimple on my belly button looks like Jake, see: video below) in her video. Taylor told Nightline (via HuffPo) that she decided to write the song after her ex-boyfriend's friend came into the studio and heard that she was getting back together with his ass. Taylor said, "When he leaves, Max and Johan are like, ‘So what’s the story behind that?’ And so I start telling them the story of break up, get back together, break up, get back together, just, ugh, the worst."
The Jakey guess makes the most sense. I can totally picture Jake and Taylor sitting at opposite sides of a long conference table with their team of lawyers in a fancy law office in Century City, CA, going back and forth about the details of their relationship contract. "I'll give you 2 staged kissing photo-ops a month, but NO TONGUE and you can't write a song about me" is probably what Jake shouted at Taylor before she stood up and screamed the words that would go on to become the title of her #1 single! That's totally how it went.
And here's Taylor showing all of us that she's America's answer to Avril Lavigne, which means that she'll eventually make the bald eagle hang himself by marrying America's answer to Chad Kroeger: Scott Stapp.
Listening to that song again makes me feel like I just played the worst game of Girl Talk Date Line that has ever been played and lost.
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I'm happy to say that I've avoided hearing that song...until last night, when my BIL was over & watched the MTV Used to Play Music Video Awards, and I heard her auto-tuned yodeling through the wall. UGH.
Can someone please explain this video to me? What is going on? Are those supposed to be her stuffed animals brought to life? What's with all the glasses? WHAT DOES IT MEAN
She looks like a deliriously happy woodchuck on the mag cover!
I feel slightly bad for saying this, but Taylor Swift's presence in the media and pop world is starting to get Miley Cyrus-annoying.
Jake is a drop-dead-gorgeous homosexual!
(Are there nude photos of Jake presenting hole?)
What did Squinty expect from a guy like Jakey Pooh? You can tell he's confused.
Whoever thinks the song is about them should write Squinty a quick note:
"Amen - and GOOD BYE!"
I can't imagine dating her would be even remotely fun, interesting or something that you would want to own up to. Kanye needs to take the mic away from her ass again and this time, not give it back.
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Love the Moms in your life. It would suck with out them.
That song (and video) is terrible. It'll undoubtedly be a huge hit.
SICK-UH-NING! lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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This IS..the most annoying song I have ever heard in my life.
Taylor Swift makes me want to gouge my own eyeballs out and stick blunt objects in my ears so I don't have to see or hear her.
She looks like a psycho.
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by SANS FARDS
This song is literally one of the most annoying and awful songs I have ever heard in my life.
MTE, and that's after only listening to about 20 seconds. I couldn't take any more than that.
ok, I played it, my teen daughter looked at me and said "mom, shut that off she sucks"
case closed in my house.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
She's the Clingy Breakup Artist. That Kennedy child's going to need a restraining order and a 15' wall.
This bitch really needs to get her head out of her ass. Uggh.
I really try to avoid listening to certain "artists" like Bieber and Swift, because I like actual music and words that mean something. Call me old fashioned. But for some reason I hit the arrow on that video and HOW IN THE HELL IS SHE A COUNTRY MUSIC SINGER? I just don't want to live on this planet any more.
Actually, the indie record lyric is:
And you, will hide away and find your piece of mind
with some indie record that's much cooler than mine
So it sounds like he's LISTENING to the record. I can see Jake Gyllenhaal listening to indie stuff and not girly sweet sixteen crap.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Anyone on here old enough to remember "Mary Hartman Mary Hartman"? If so, doesn't The Professional Beard remind you of the Loretta Haggars character that the superb Mary Kay Place portrayed, albeit without any of her talent? Loretta would have a song for *every* event or saying that popped into her head. The thing is it would never occur to her perform a hiding-in-plain-sight service to keep the locks secure on Hollywood's finest closets. Even in her paralyzed state, she had more dignity that this out-of-control ladder-climbing chucklehead ever could.
I think it's about Jake! The only thing in the video that is weird is her band dressed up in animal suits...Donnie darko bunny reference??? I think yes!
Submitted by tojo on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 3:41pm.
Submitted by Ida Smackter on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 3:24pm.
sorry, but Gyllenhaal is the only dude she dated who isnt a musician. She says, "your indie record will be MUCH cooler than mine" so I am thinking Mayer, as I don't think Jonas qualifies.
what do y'all think?
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I think you are absolutely right! I think it's his M.O. just like his latest Katy Perry...you hear they broke up then they're together then...
ugh who cares...but he did it with Jennifer Aniston too so...
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And the girl with him when he is on the phone looks like Katy Perry. hmmmmm....
And there are two versions of this song. the other one is a doodle in a notebook and make me gag more than this version.
It's like she's stuck in jr. high school...stupid twat
I persevered through that video the way most say they were able to read James Joyce, except I actually finished it. Usually, she has one quippy line that makes the song better, but my curiosity led to horror as I realized that she was going to use the vernacular of Kendall Jenner at 12 throughout the whole thing. she thought she was being like, so, totally, clever and it only suceeded in making her look like Benjamin Button is teaching her lyric-writing. in three more years, I suppose she will be singing the Police's classic "Doo Doo Doo Dah Dah Dah". Radio Ga-Ga, indeed...
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One martini; Two at the most
3 I'm under the table; Four I'm under the host.
i love garfunkel & oates. so much.
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watching hardcore ufos
Taylor really looks like she's turning into one of the mice from The Witches on that magazine cover.
www.coloradoinsurancecareers.com
If little Taylor keeps writing angry bitter scorned woman songs...naming names and such...pretty soon she's going to be writing songs about 'will I ever meet anyone ever ever ever again to clear these cobwebs from my lonely vajay-jay or will I die a lonely old spinster?'
Someone needs to GROW UP and learn that real LADIES don't KISS AND TELL. Very tacky! Very very tacky! Once I can understand but this is getting to be her M.O. and it's really quite pathetic. She should be embarrassed.
And I used to think she was so cute...cute on the outside - crazy as batshit on the inside. Nice!
"Shut up, bitch - it hurts to be beautiful" - Richie K. 2005
This song is horrible the first time I heard it I thought it will be largely pan by people. Well, people certainty surprise me with the shit they like.
how could this be about jake? he isn't in the music business and they werent even together that long to be together but not see each other for a month. moving on...
I never thought Jake was gay until he "dated" this squintmobile. I don't buy it, never have...never will.
Wow, that dumbassery calls for some industrial-strength palate cleansing. Calling Garfunkel & Oates!
(This is what hot & smart musical babes actually look like, Taylor .. )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V61-f5PhR9Q
(best line:
"I wouldn't touch your dick if I'd been poisoned
and the antidote was in your sperm")
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"End well: this isn't going to." - MK
What a whiny ho. She needs to pop mama's titty out of her mouth and grow the fuck up.
At what point will she realize she is too damn old to write songs and perform like this? The only people who will like this shit song are kids who are to young to have dated anyway and have no idea what they are singing about.
OMG GIRL TALK!!! I used to have the thing where you paid a monthly subscription and got inserts in the mail with different subjects on dressing, exercise, school and of course BOYS!
Wait... "Your indie record will be MUCH cooler than mine" is an actual fucking lyric? Where does the line form to slap this stupid bitch?
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
Submitted by Ida Smackter on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 3:24pm.
sorry, but Gyllenhaal is the only dude she dated who isnt a musician. She says, "your indie record will be MUCH cooler than mine" so I am thinking Mayer, as I don't think Jonas qualifies.
what do y'all think?
=======================
I think you are absolutely right! I think it's his M.O. just like his latest Katy Perry...you hear they broke up then they're together then...
ugh who cares...but he did it with Jennifer Aniston too so...
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...the end
Submitted by Ida Smackter on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 3:24pm.
i think you should have a refreshing adult beverage and go lay down after forcing your ears and brain to listen that closely to that horror
and, yeah you're right!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
I don't care who the song is about--it is a fuxking awful song. I still get past a 23 year old young woman datng a high school BOY.
Ugh who gives a fuck about this eternally 13 years old bish. This bish is the worst song writer in history and thus makes the worst songs and yet the bitch sells millions and wins tons of awards she doesn't deserve. Sick of this non singing, talent-less bitch. She must have a crazy fucking deal with the illuminati, her along with Gay Fish and Bouncy.
dammit I actually liked that video but mainly for the people dressed like stuffed animals...I loved their expressions, not her...she is too much like a prom queen stuck in high school for life...yuck, I grew up with that type of female, and HATED anything related to high school, prom queens, proms, beauty queens, cheerleaders, jocks...ugggghhh....that is why I simply cannot stomach her...but this Kennedy romancing the youngster seems rather desperate and creepy...but it is a step up from Jakey and that David Duke dicked creep Mayer...
Wow, she really IS the US's answer to Avril...ugh. And, what the hell was up with the creepy furries in that video. I couldn't stop staring at them. Was it some kind of gerbil or broke back reference?
Submitted by Ida Smackter on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 3:24pm.
sorry, but Gyllenhaal is the only dude she dated who isnt a musician. She says, "your indie record will be MUCH cooler than mine" so I am thinking Mayer, as I don't think Jonas qualifies.
what do y'all think?
I think you were able finish more of the vid than most of us. :)
Seriously though, yeah, that makes it sound more like Mayer.
sorry, but Gyllenhaal is the only dude she dated who isnt a musician. She says, "your indie record will be MUCH cooler than mine" so I am thinking Mayer, as I don't think Jonas qualifies.
what do y'all think?
____________________________________________
One martini; Two at the most
3 I'm under the table; Four I'm under the host.
Submitted by colt13 on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 2:33pm.
I will admit that even though I am not a fan of her music, I like her videos. She should stick to acting like she did in Valentine's Day.
PLEASE be joking. There wasn't ONE person who could act in "Valentine's Day" not ONE!! And Taylor's part was very small, yet she still managed to be so darn awful I literally cringed.
BTW I love the expression in Jake's face up there. It's like he's thinking, "God, take me now. If I hear one more story about high school, puppies and flowers, I'm gonna kill myself."
Submitted by iamdlisted on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 2:58pm.
And grow up. Both of them seem to be stuck at age 15 despite being well into their twenties.
Srsly, when is the world going to remember that oh yeah, Taylor Swift is a GROWN-ASS WOMAN and not a sweet little flower of teenagerhood?
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
she's psychotic
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watching hardcore ufos
Who is forcing TS to live in a land of make believe? Release this lil bitch! The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!!
This forever-16 shit is not only getting old, but actually de-aging. She's what, channeling a 13-year-old now?
But the furry band kicks ass. I'd love to see those guys rocking out in a real music video.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by Happy Hour on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 2:37pm.
Damn I guess you do need to be 13 to make it all the way to the end of the video.
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I got to the chorus. My brain was like
"gross...gross...Gross!...GROSSSSS!! >>ABORT<<< "
I'm squicked by the fact that this exists and double-squicked that people like it.
This lollipop-toting lunatic has to be the most annoying person on the planet! Who would want to be in a relationship with this? Only a man looking for a beard which explains her trick track record.
I just listened to 5 seconds of this shitfest on iTunes and now I want to stab someone. How the fuck did this bitch become popular? Who listens to this fucking shit? FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thought I was the only one who thought Avril Lavigne when I heard this. Either way, both of them need to just...go....away......