Crazed Stalker Tries To Break Into Miley Cyrus' House (And No, It Wasn't Billy Ray)

Miley Cyrus wasn't home early this morning, but somebody staying at her house (aka Billy Ray Cyrus who was just there to color coordinate her panties in her panty drawer and was totally not there to sniff them or anything) called the police after a bald, crazed crazy with scissors in his hand jumped over her wall. Only a crazy bitch with insanity flowing through his brains would jump over Miley's wall, because you don't know what could be waiting for you on the other side.

Trace Cyrus could be there, waiting to charge at you, kick you in the gut with his sharpened hoove or eat your clothes. Noah Cyrus could be there, waiting to show you the pole dancing routine she's been practicing all day. Tish Cyrus could be there, waiting to freak you out with her droopy anime horse eyes. Or Billy Ray could be there, waiting to shoot you with his sawed-off shot gun before roasting you on his shopping cart grill. Basically, a bad scene will be waiting for you if you hop over Miley's wall.

Radar says that the cops arrived at around 4:45 this morning and put 40-year-old Jason Luis Rivera in handcuffs. Jason Luis Rivera, who sort of looks like a Latino Uncle Fester, told the cops that Miley is his wife and that they've been friends for five years. Anybody who proudly admits that Miley is their friend should get tasered, so the cops tasered his ass. Miley's stalker had a pair of scissors in his hand at the time.

That crazy bitch shouldn't have broken out of his padded room at the mental hospital and he shouldn't have stolen those scissors off the nurse's station. Because sadly, there's nothing he can do to save Miley's tragic ass cockatoo haircut. It's beyond help.

Posted by: Michael K

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Miley Cyrus • You In Danger Girl

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Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Mon, 09/10/2012 - 10:05am.

There are simply no words to describe that picture. I can only think of one: YIKES!

Submitted by Get Serious on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 11:45pm.

Maybe it was her regular hairstylist, who lost his mind when he saw her stupid braindead "cockatoo" haircut?

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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer

Submitted by bornagainChristian on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 6:33pm.

STOP using Maybelline, START using Proactive and get your teefs fixed.

OH Liam, why????

Submitted by Lacie Panties on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 5:40pm.

Dog bone bitch,ugly as bat shit.

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 4:47pm.

Note to Miley: When you decide to fight the hot, make sure there is some hot to fight in the first place. I mean, bitch was looking on point until she came up with this hot mess of a look. She had me fooled until she started fighting hot that was all just smoke and mirrors anyway. FIGHT THE FUG MILEY....and start with some ProActive...

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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by Get Serious on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 2:28pm.

Nice snaggletooth there, poodlehead...

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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer

Submitted by vsminimoose on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 12:01pm.

Didn't she wear braces for like 10 years???? why are here teeth still messed up? She used to wear those braces that went on the back of her teeth so it always sounded like she had a mouth full of peanut butter. Drove me bat shit.

Submitted by pixxxie on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 11:51am.

Submitted by Bossy on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 9:41pm.
Why does she look like shit these days? Her face, her hair, her style, it's all bad. Just a couple of weeks ago she had shoulder length hair, a nice complexion, and was in a nice orange dress that showed off her lean body. WTF is wrong with this girl.

---------------
are you talking about this look?

http://www.myfacehunter.com/2012/03/miley-cyrus-gets-inspired-from-famou...

i dont think she has ever looked better than at this premier. she looked amazing.

i think she is on a winding path to a britney-esque melt down...

Submitted by MizRo on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 10:35am.

Go away. Go.Away.

Most annoying chick around lately - she's off her meds quite a bit imo.

Submitted by Mick on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 5:05am.

Gurl needs to spend some change and get dem crooked teefs fixed.

================================================
"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
"Oh, Honey. You´re simple, you´re shallow and you´re a common whor

Submitted by Zambonie on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 4:21am.

Only thing I can figure is she lost a bet and maned up
or cockatoo'ed up

Submitted by loopygorilla on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 1:50am.

ohhh man, sucks for miley that these High definition cameras are around, cuz you can see all her zits under that cake of makeup.

oh well, i hope the stalker did a recording of her song and left a copy of it at her house.

*sings* I got my sights set on you and I'm ready to aim I have a heart that will never be tamed I knew you were somethin' special when you spoke my name Now I can't wait to see you again
I've got a way of knowin' when somethin' is right I feel like I must have known you in another life 'Cause I felt this deep connection when you looked in my eyes Now I can't wait to see you again
The last time I freaked out, I just kept lookin' down I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinkin' 'bout Felt like I couldn't breathe, you asked what's wrong with me My best friend Lesley said, "Oh she's just being Miley"

Submitted by Anita Bidet on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 1:40am.

"I really loved her previous more grown-up hairstyle. She looked really lovely."

Miley was just as ugly with long hair

http://i.imgur.com/GsX8l.jpg

Submitted by karen on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 12:33am.

" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs

Y'all are fuckin on fire tonight . I have no life and y'all are cracking me up. Clearasil channel chin hair destiny Good god!!

Submitted by Cyannokia on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 12:30am.

She looks like sloth from the goonies

Submitted by Cyannokia on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 12:29am.

She looks like sloth from the goonies

Submitted by sushi on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 12:27am.

She doesn't have the face to pull that hairstyle off.

I really loved her previous more grown-up hairstyle. She looked really lovely.

I predict broken engagement in one month.

Submitted by karen on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 12:15am.

" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs

Muleta mama was a hardcore groupie diwn south who hit the groupie jackpot

Submitted by FireStarter13 on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 11:30pm.

That was so freaking funny. It made my day. Thanks Michael K for making my asshole buzz like it was dipped in Listerine.

Submitted by Get Serious on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 11:25pm.

Proof positive she's an attention demanding idiot. Nice cockatoo haircut, dumbass...

--------------------------------------------
"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer

Submitted by Whatever on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 11:16pm.

WAY too much make-up! She's got it in her hair.

Submitted by dementa on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 11:02pm.

Whenever I see that face, I wanna start throwing punches.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by treasure on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 10:46pm.

Can't she afford Clearsil or Proactive? Those Aussie facials she has been getting just ain't cutting it.

Submitted by Im_Cuntilicious on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 10:36pm.

Too bad the wab didn't get a chance to stick the knife up her ass and twist it until her fucking hair grew back.

Ps
I'm a wab

Submitted by Zambonie on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 10:32pm.

As for the pic of miley

will you look at the head on that

man, that's self inflicted

I guess next on the agenda is to become a cutter

Submitted by Zambonie on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 10:22pm.

Dog
Man that pic gets me
Tell the story about that dog

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 10:06pm.

oh dear gawd please let him shout out at his arraignment that he had the scissors with him because he was coming to cut the ugly outta her hair!

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by cadebra1961 on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 9:24pm.

I predict an early grave for this loser. No talent, delusional, creepy 'lil bitch.
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Berra →←

Submitted by michmash on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 9:01pm.

What a shitty complexion for someone that young. She should lay off the spackle. And those teefs. Didn't they have orthodontists in the hills? You think Disney would have sprung to have the overbite and teefs fixed.

Submitted by meowsers on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 8:51pm.

That's a helluva lot of spackle on someone that young. If she wears that much goop all the time, no wonder she's all zitty.

Submitted by shirley_twizzletits on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 8:46pm.

1. that is EXACTLY why i don't wear foundation. zit city.

2. i think she would look so much better in that cut if she had black hair. i'm not digging the canary yellow.

I like my men like I like my syrup---thick and rich!

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 8:22pm.

@Cokey Bloke - and the names are the least of their problems!

_______________________________________________

SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!

Submitted by louise_brooks on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 8:14pm.

Submitted by Mel-Tang on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 7:58pm.
Cousin Zit.....ahahahaha!

And I have chin hair too. :( But I take meticulous care of it...ie. pluck those little fuckers.

I would HATE to be a celebrity in front of dlisters. I always say that if I ever become famous or infamous for something, I'm totally screaming "DLISTED IS THE BOMB DIGGITY" while flashing my fat rolls in honor of you horz. You better not make fun of me either.

OMG! ROTFL!!!

And I have chin hairs, too. My Greek genes are a bitch.

Submitted by karen on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 12:46am.

" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs

Chin hair club for dlisters. Always got tweezers in purse. Also vaniqua prescription kills that shit. Started getting chin hairs and nose hairs in my 40s.chin hairs are nasty and they come back with friends. Dilegence is key. Someone pointed out my nose hairs. Aging sucks. Enjoy your twenties and tan drink fuck eat crap and still look amazing!now it's a chore.
S

Submitted by Bossy on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 8:11pm.

Why does she look like shit these days? Her face, her hair, her style, it's all bad. Just a couple of weeks ago she had shoulder length hair, a nice complexion, and was in a nice orange dress that showed off her lean body. WTF is wrong with this girl.

Submitted by Cyannokia on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 8:05pm.

She looks like sloth from the goonies movie.

Submitted by Miva on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 7:37pm.

This man is quite delusional, he said he is a poet and even wrote a book, check him out here http://fandaily.info/?p=32478

Submitted by Whamo on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 6:37pm.

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 8:03pm.
Mel, if I became a celebrity and MK did a thread about me, Whamo would scream, "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN CYBER SHACKING UP WITH?????" Then he'd get on his scooter and camp outside my gated estate because that's how he rolls.
________________________________________________
LMAO

*grabs scissors warms up scooter*

Submitted by karen on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 12:09am.

" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs

Thanks dlisters . You guys saves my life tonight. I was obsessing into a spiral.I rarely share personal shit online but I'm nothing but a ex pillheaf stripper groupie kept woman old school defiant slut who settled down to be a good girl. It's big American lie fed to the masses. I'm a fuckin survivor and the ex doesn't know the half of the shit I've pulled!!!!!d I have considered offing myself but I don't have guts. But I married this guy in rebound. He wasn't my type ar all but he had a big dick and could eat pussy like a champ . Sometimes ugly guys try harder than others. He dicknatized me!!!beware of being dicknatized . Duck that bastard . Karma has always reared her pretty head in my life.Love the d

Submitted by Whamo on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 6:34pm.

Submitted by Mel-Tang on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 7:50pm.
Whamo... <3. <3. I took care of it. I told it to never make fun of my friends' names again or I will beat the shit out of it. :)
_________________________________________________
I have that conversation with my computer every time it locks up on me and I have to turn it off :)

Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 6:33pm.

Submitted by mike on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 7:48pm.
--
I only scrutinize imprint pics that closely, to verify authenticity. Otherwise, no way! Lol

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 6:33pm.

Mel, if I became a celebrity and MK did a thread about me, Whamo would scream, "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN CYBER SHACKING UP WITH?????" Then he'd get on his scooter and camp outside my gated estate because that's how he rolls.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by Mel-Tang on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 6:28pm.

Cousin Zit.....ahahahaha!

And I have chin hair too. :( But I take meticulous care of it...ie. pluck those little fuckers.

www.poopreport.com :)

<3-------------------------------<3

RIMADYL KILLS

Submitted by Whamo on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 6:27pm.

Submitted by CokeyBloke on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 7:53pm.
i'm still laughing. Classic!
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:D

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 6:26pm.

More like Festering Dope.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by CokeyBloke on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 6:26pm.

The fact they gave her a name (a stripper name, no less) then let her rename herself with an "adorable" misspoken word proves my point. Blech.

Submitted by karen on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 12:12am.

" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
U was a diwn low stripper .in college to finance my lifestyle . No one ever knew . I wasn't raised white trash but I've always aspired to be that. Think I did pretty well?!

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 6:24pm.

She legally changed her name to Miley....but yes, it was Destiny Hope.

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Nothing, nothing is manageable
So can't we skip the valedictories
I can see the door there
Shut it and forget my number

Submitted by Mel-Tang on Sat, 09/08/2012 - 6:23pm.

Oops...sorry dogggy!! :)

www.poopreport.com :)

<3-------------------------------<3

RIMADYL KILLS