Jessica Simpson Gives Face! Face! (And Only Face!) In Her Weight Watchers Commercial
While sitting in an Ikea showroom, Jessica Simpson says in her Weight Watchers commercial that she's on her way to losing all the chunk and she's just a real woman eating real food, and the camera never ever leaves her face the whole time. Will the camera man please take Papa Joe's wrong ass aside and teach him how to stay focused on Jessica's face? Because if Papa Joe shot this commercial, we'd be listening to Jessica Simpson talk about how she's a real woman eating real food while the camera only stayed focused on her real big tits.
Four months after birthing out an amniotic fluid river carrying Baby Maxwell, Jessica Simpson was the first guest on Katie Couric's new talk show yesterday to talk about how Weight Watchers taught her that queso soup with a side of corn syrup cardboard (aka a Pop Tart) slathered in bacon butter doesn't count as a meal. Jessica told Katie that she didn't want to do one of those "before and after" commercials, because that's just not her and she's still 10 pounds away from her goal weight. And because, there were scheduling conflicts with Industrial Light & Magic and they were unable to provide the special effects needed to do a "before and after" commercial.
Katie asked Jessica how much weight she's lost since going on Weight Watchers, but she wouldn't spit out a specific number and only said that she's dropped more than 40 pounds. Jessica said in another interview that she weighed in at 170lbs when she got her pregnant ass naked for Elle. So let's do some math! If I drop the truthfulness and carry the bitch please, I get the number: 130ish.
Jessica's obviously just shouting out any number that enters her head, but she shouldn't. Every time a trick wants to know how much she weighs now or how much weight she's lost since she stopped eating frosting and pie sandwiches for lunch, she should just tell them that the number is written on Papa Joe's peen and we can go down there if we want to find out. Nobody would go and nobody would ever ask her about her weight EVER again!
Here's some pictures of Chestica wearing some flowy dress thing while having dinner at Tiny restaurant (no comment) last night and some pictures of her making her way to her interview with Katie Couric while looking like a middle-aged Texas trophy wife turned born again preacher's wife going to a funeral.
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I doubt this behemouth of derp can even see the scale past those enormous melons!
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"Shut up, brain! "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun." "Did he participate in the actual Olympics or Special Olympics?" Evil_Cupcake
hahahaha @ suckandfuck. brilliant!
I don't care whether she's skinny as a rail or big as a house. She is irrelevant to me either way.
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
Her boyfriend is not attractive. He looks like a peepaw.
@ Submitted by suckandfuck on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 11:15am.
I KNEW it - you're really Migraineuse
Jessica is deluded as fuck. There are certain women (myself included) who will never, ever be slim, tiny and fit as all hell again after a child. Some women just don't have the same body after a kid and it's FINE!
I'm not saying she can't lose SOME of the weight, but she's not SJP - her ass ain't about to snap back into her Daisy Duke days evah!
That black dress just annoys me. Just wear a matching black skirt and top, FFS. It'd have the same effect, without effectively wearing a sign saying "LOOK at mah belleh, ya'll!"
Anno- LOL!! The black one.
Sucky- were you taking women's studies classes on your hiatus? I wish there was a way I could work "Patriarchal Society of Vagina Controllers" into a conversation today.
130!?!? ahahahhahahahahah I don't even weigh 130 you big goof! Oh yeah, I forgot, she's 4 feet tall, stttiillllll
LMAO @ Sucky's rant, oh how I have missed theee!
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"Shut up, brain! "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun." "Did he participate in the actual Olympics or Special Olympics?" Evil_Cupcake
Anyone who buys from Weight Watchers based on her say-so deserves to stay fat.
Don't know why she fights it. She loves food. Just embrace the weight she has now and maintain it. It's not like she'll ever be an actress or return to music. She always just be an informercial queen.
Sucky, get some lipo - stat!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Gah, that fiance of hers is just hobo-personified. Ew.
Just embrace the chubby Jessica.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Her man sure does dress like he just rolled out of bed 24/7.
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
ONCE AGAIN EVERYONE. EVERYONE TAKE A LOOK BECAUSE ONCE AGAIN THE PATRIARCHAL FATHERS OF OUR SOCIETY HAVE DECIDED THAT WE MUST LOSE EVEN MORE WEIGHT SO THAT WE CAN BUY MORE FASHION MAGAZINES AND MORE BIKINIS SO WE CAN FIT INTO THE DEFINITION OF "PRETTY" AND "BEAUTIFUL" THAT THE PATRIARCHAL SOCIETY OF FEMALE VAGINA CONTROLLERS HAVE MOLDED FOR US. THANK YOU SO MUCH EVER-WATCHING, EVER-CONTROLLING WOMAN HATERS FOR DEEMING ME FIT TO LOSE WEIGHT FOR YOU AND YOUR FASHION MAGAZINES AND IDEAL OF PRETTINESS! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I WOULD HATE TO HAVE TO THINK AND CREATE A UNIQUE IDENTITY FOR MYSELF! THANK YOU!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by rook on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 11:08am.
They should have waited until she's thin before they filmed the commercial.
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Too easy.
Ahem. Losing 40 pounds of amniotic fluid, baby and placenta doesn't count Jess. As much as I think it's ridiculous to expect women to bounce back to their pre-birth weight in a month, I still have to say shut it, Pinnochio.
I don't know why I hate this trick. Her brain dead persona is so burned out. She was hot, but there's literally no reason for her to be famous anymore, don't know why people pay attention to her
I don't think she can even count to 100 let alone try to calculate how much she's lost.
fluffy pillows! i want to rest my head on them boobies. ive always being fascinated by huge fluffy pillow boobs.
If the before & afters are just gonna be head shots...her head STILL looks huge...especially with that white hair half wig thing.
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
I see her doing every trick in the book to try and look slim. Big ass bag, lots of hair, black ruffly dress lol
They should have waited until she's thin before they filmed the commercial.
Grandpa Joe will already be talking about how big sixteen year old Maxwell's tits are and this will be old news by then...
She was 170 in Elle. Okay. And then she was pregnant for like another four months and bitch was pushing over two bills. You do not weigh 130 lbs when your tits are bigger than your head!
WW is in the business to make money so how can they sell their product if the spokes person blew it? People who want to/ need to lose weight will see this as a fail.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
@ Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 11:03am.
There is no way she is 130. Maybe 150-160. She was really, really big before. That dress is friggin hideous.
Which one? LOL
I wonder how many layers of Spanx she had on during the Katie interview.
There is no way she is 130. Maybe 150-160. She was really, really big before. That dress is friggin hideous.
Yes. Yes & yes.
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
She actually said during the interview that she didn't want this to be about weight. LMAO. Ok.
& I cannot believe Katie Couric is doing journalism lite. She always kinda side-eyed the whole celeb culture thing.
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
There are at least 10 extra pounds in each calf!
Jez Weight Watchers, just admit defeat!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
There is no way she's 130.
I just saw her on GMA which causes me to ask:
HOW IN THE FUCK'S HELL DID THIS BRAINLESS TWIT GET TO BE A FASHION BILLIONAIRE??
Talk about lackluster performance. She sounds and looks like a zombie. Yea...sign me up for whatever diet program is going to turn me into that.
what better way of motivating and selling your product than showing head TO TOE results? (and if you wanna play dirty, give her the Paula Abdul Promise of a new Day stretcholla camera trick)
This is bullshit. She should be endorsing Spanx instead of WW.
Oh God, Those Tits.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers