Open Post: Hosted By Obie The Obese Dachshund

Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 7:09pm.

Sorry Hekki, I just thought you were stressed over your housing situation.

I was on you side.

My apologies. I won't say another word about your situation, as it is not my business and I had no right to ask you any questions.

Have a good night everyone.

Sorry to have pissed anyone off.

Thanks, Thamar, EC, mike, Hekki (you aren't bogarting!), Lucy, Bacon Slut,& IF for being so kind. I am actually getting farklempt, no lie. I love you guys.
Gotta take out the trash. See y'all later.

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Evil Cupcake
I was unmarried till I was 32 and loved my life. It's honestly a great life for many and I still do miss aspects of it! You seem to do it right and are very honest with others about your plans and wants/needs in life.

So many people don't really know where they stand on these issues and you do (so do I). It's a good place to be!
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Dark-sided!

Submitted by Thamar on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 7:06pm.
Evil_Cupcake, I get a lot out of your shares about being single and preferring it. I wish I hadn't longed for the fairy tale.

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Oh heck, there is NOTHING wrong with wanting that fairy tale, I just don't have it in me. I have big trust issues from really bad relationships, and frankly, my issues have issues.

I hope I didn't make the marrieds here feel like shit, because I was pretty much just speaking about myself, and letting Foxxy know that there is nothing wrong with being single at any age.

I think it is great if people marry and have a wonderful life together. There is nothing wrong with that either. I might be the weakest one here, because I think I might be too lazy to put the work in on a marriage, because they are work. I might just be a lazy jackass! LOL.

Erp - Lana DelTaco is British GQ's woman of the year....your views British Dlisters?

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Can be Pushy: MIL is "tough love". She couldn't wait to dump her kids on a babysitter. She's a type A, ambitious woman. Pisses her off that I quit m

And who cares if she didn't give us cash for the rent? What is wrong with Mr. Hekki that he unpacked it from the box and hooked it up, instead of trying to monetize it?

I'm as much to blame as he is. I should have put my foot down a long time ago, but I kept buying his "This is just temporary, there's a rainbow just around the corner" bullshit.

Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 5:55pm.
Mr. Hekki's mother will only give him money if my family (mom's only income is SS) chips in.

This, and the Plasma TV, made me really angry. I don't know anything about marriage, but I extend my love and best wishes to you and Deb.

(((♥)))

(and anyone else who is going through a tough marriage)

Hola, hookers!

I haven't been able to follow the thread today, but hugs to all the horz that could use one!

For everyhooker that has been asked why they have never been married, I developed a pretty effective response. In this case, it was with my late grandmother, who never ceased to remind me that I "was no spring chicken." "Oh Grans, didn't I tell you? I've gone lesbian." Followed by a wink.

She never asked again. *wide grin*

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Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:52pm.

Do you think your mother-in-law has ever really approved of you? I'm getting the impression that she has not.

I guess if marriage is just a piece of paper, then so is the Constitution. No, right? Of course not, it's what it means to a person, what it represents to them.

Seriously, marriage isn't for everyone, of course it isn't. Just like every kind of lifestyle isn't for everyone. That's just human nature and how the world works. There are no set rules, nor should there be.

But marriage does work for many people and quite frankly, some of the people (in life, not on the the D!) who bash it the most are the ones with failed marriages who fucked it up because they were too lazy, selfish and stupid to suceed.

If people don't want to get married, then they shouldn't feel they have to or ever be made to feel like they are somehow failures or that there is someone "wrong" with them. That's just ridiculous.

But I do take exception to this throwing away marriage like it's some piece of paper (yet ironically, some of these people are all for gay marriage - I guess that's cooler than boring old straight marriage?) and marriage is most certainly not that. Especially with a family. And all legalities inside, marriage is a wonderful committment and choice for some people. Hey - if people don't like it then don't do it. But bashing marriage and going on and on that they know 428,846 miserable married people and ALL their single friends are soooo happy is bullshit.

Also, married people who do nothing but bash their spouses are assholes and deserve to be miserable.

Bottom line: be happy - whether that means single, married, living together, together but living apart, being a slut - whatever! But bashing one way of life doesn't make the others any better. People need to be more tolerant of other people's choices in life.

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Dark-sided!

Evil_Cupcake, I get a lot out of your shares about being single and preferring it. I wish I hadn't longed for the fairy tale.

Deb, sorry to bogart your attention. You've got a big issue there. Can't give you much advice except I wouldn't like the goalposts being moved like that. It sounds like he's married to his career.

Big hugs to you.

Submitted by Deb on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:55pm.
Thanks, Happy Hour! Hey if nothing else, I think we miserable marrieds have reinforced the singles among us about their decision not to marry!

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Tru dat Deb. All these stories have done just that! At least if I am miserable, it is on me, and there isn't someone else doing it to me.

Best of luck to Hekki and Deb. Your situations are alien to me, so I can't really offer any advice, but I do hope things work out for you. You both seem like awesome women, and your husbands are lucky men (whether they realize it or not).

If you are hanging in, you are doing it for love...

'hands out halos'

My heart goes out to everybody in this thread. BSF, Deb, Hekki thanks for honesty. Certain many reading benefit. Marriage is not for wusses.

33 years and all I got is, keep getting up again. Love you all. Fight the good fight.

Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:52pm.

Wouldn't it have been a better gift for your MIL to give you rent money so your housing was stable?

Sounds like he is a spoiled brat and you are paying the price for that.

I hope things work out for you! And if he and his mom want to perpetuate the "wealthy" facade, then you shouldn't have to contribute money to the relationship. AND are you not contributing to the relationship by BEING A DAMN GOOD MOTHER AND HOMEMAKER????????? *kicks Hekki's MIL*

Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:51pm.
The plasma TV was a birthday gift from his mother

Sorry Hekki, I though you lived in OC. Someone on here does. Wherever you live, childcare would
be huge. But on the upside, even part time might do you a world of good emotionally.

I hope you don't take this the wrong way:
Your MIL sounds like a mean bitch.

Thanks, Happy Hour! Hey if nothing else, I think we miserable marrieds have reinforced the singles among us about their decision not to marry!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

The thought of having a baby and/or getting married was one of my BIGGEST fears as a girl/young adult. Now, i could imagine having one kid but the marriage thing..?? Havent met anyone that has made me think forever yet but i have met a few who made me think 'possibly the next 7 years' so i would have to modify my vows a bit to 'till 7 years do us part'

b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe energy. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:44pm.

Me too Foxxy. If I am with someone, I am WITH them, and there is no one else.
Sadly, some of my longest relationships ended because my mate did not subscribe to the same theory of monogamy.

I just don't have that chip that most women have regarding the "fairy tale". I LOVE being alone, A LOT! I do not need someone to keep me company or to make me feel good about myself. I don't promise anyone things I am not capable of giving, and let men know that AT THE BEGINNING. Some idiots think they can "change" me. Like the dummy who always volunteered us to babysit his niece, thinking my "mommy mode" would be clicked on. Hahahahahahaha! When I taught the kid to ask for a dirty martini instead of juice, he realized there was no hope!

You can have a soul mate WITHOUT a piece of paper saying so. A good relationship doesn't need paper saying it's good, it just is.

Holy shit!! Hugs and positive vibes to Hekki And Deb!!

The plasma TV was a birthday gift from his mother.

IF: We live in a nice doorman building on the UES with a pool and healthclub. Our kids wear nice navy blazers with crests to their school. Mr. Hekki is a complete Brooks Brothers ad. I look like any other mom at pickup (well, the casual moms, anyway).

We are secret Poors. He doesn't want to admit it, doesn't want anyone to know. Was annoyed that I told another mom that we didn't have health insurance (when Eldest broke her arm at the playground and I wanted to wait before taking her to the ER).

And YES, when I work, the cost of childcare will pretty be a big chunk. But who cares? Because then I WILL BE CONTRIBUTING SOMETHING TO THE FAMILY, (according to MIL).

ETA: I was offered a babysitting job (I babysit whenever asked) and he didn't want me to do it, because then he'd be left alone with the kids all night. The woman flaked, but I said "DID YOU FORGET THAT WE NEED MONEY?"

Submitted by mike on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:31pm.

Thanks Mike! It always bugs me when people think if you are over 30, and still single you are weird and must have something wrong with you.

I may have things wrong with me, but marriage sure as hell wouldn't solve those issues!

i agree, Evil -- i am very monogomous when in a relationship, and i am relationship-oriented. but, i have NEVER envisioned myself in a marriage. if i could figure out how to have the cool white dress and the big party with presents without having to live with the asshole....

in honesty, i know someone who i KNOW i could be with for the rest of my life (now, this part IS depressing -- so many reasons it ain't happening). but even with him never a vision of daily permanent grind every fucking day out co-habitation. just not built that way.

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:35pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:24pm.

Agreed. All my friends got married in a 5 year span and start poppin out crotch fruit (copyright: UVY). It freaked me out cause I was not in that place and I was wondering if I should feel sad or not. Pretty much now most of them would trade places with me. LOL.

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EXACTLY! My mom even envies me! She constantly says "OMG! You are so lucky to not have someone lurking around you every minute of the day" My dad is a lurker! LOL!

Like I told Foxxy, never be sad that you are not like everyone around you. You are lucky to be able to do as you like, and if the right dude comes along, you will be happy you waited and did things on your own time schedule.

People suck. Owning a pet is NOT HARD, my cat yells and yells for food all the time and I don't feed her until it's time for her to eat. THAT'S IT. That's all you have to do. Simple shit like that.

Submitted by Juniperjump on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:33pm.
The people that did this to that dog should have to pay a large fine and be banned from ever owning an animal again. Personally, I just want to shoot them.

I don't agree with the shooting part, but I agree with everything else. What you see above is abuse, plain and simple.

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:29pm.

Foxxy, I am never getting married. You may have read on here a time or two about dating FedEx or what I say to most men when we get serious. I have no intention of having children of my own, nor do I ever want to get married. I make it clear now, in any relationship that if that is what you have planned for your future with me, you will will be disappointed. I have felt this way since I was a little girl (no joke). I never imagined a wedding, never envisioned kids in my life, and nothing has changed in all those years.

I am a firm believer that if a relationship is solid, a piece of paper matters in the least, AND I couldn't care less about benefits, etc, because I have my own things and my own insurance/money. I do not need anyone else's. I do not want anyone to have some say in what I do or how I do it. I do not want to answer to anyone for things I might do, right or wrong.

It doesn't matter how old you are Foxxy, what matters is how you live your life, and I find wisdom is anyone who does not bow to societal pressure to be like everyone else.

No offense to my married dlister friends. Marriage is great for some, just not me!

Submitted by mike on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:34pm.

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:29pm.

As for people asking, look at it as an open invitation to be rude

Hi, have we met? My name is Foxxy Brown, nice to meet you!

/more outrageous in real life ;-D

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:26pm.

GH - hacked?!? No, I really am a nerd.

*caresses my pH probe*

A long time ago I got married in a rush. Things were great at first, but then the emotional bullshit started to take over. He was an ass. I knew long-term things did not look good, but I stayed. Eventually I went back to school, using all of his kids that wanted to have nothing to do with me as dependents on my Pell grant application. Kept going to school, taking a few classes at a time, still being the perfect little wife. When I had finally had enough, and I could see the graduation light at the end of the tunnel, I packed my shit up in my truck and left. Whatever I could fit in my truck went with me, whatever could not fit got left behind. I didn't care. It was the best decision I ever made, but you've got to cover your ass.
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I wish I had the cash and the balls to do this.

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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:24pm.

Agreed. All my friends got married in a 5 year span and start poppin out crotch fruit (copyright: UVY). It freaked me out cause I was not in that place and I was wondering if I should feel sad or not. Pretty much now most of them would trade places with me. LOL.

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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:29pm.

You should only feel badly if you've been trying to get married all these years.

As for people asking, look at it as an open invitation to be rude (since in most cases, they're being rude by inquiring). : )

The people that did this to that dog should have to pay a large fine and be banned from ever owning an animal again. Personally, I just want to shoot them.

Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:26pm.

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:17pm.

SDR, is that you or did somebody hack your account?
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Actually - good point. That's why I said what I said. Who would say or do that - that's not like the BSF I know but then again, I really don't "know" anyone.

And the "conversate"? Who says that, only Maury guests and 15 year olds!
_______________________________________________________

Heeeey, conversate is a real word. What's wrong with conversate? LOL

Well, I'm guilty of all the horrible things I've posted about--not hacked. I'm a good girl gone bad I guess. Me and Rihanna. Oh God, I'm fucked.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:24pm.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:17pm.

I have never been married either, so don't ever be depressed about that! If I had married the men that had asked, I would be divorced several times over because of cheating, as the usual relationship ender with me is cheating.

My married gf's and male friends all tell me how lucky I am, and how smart I have been with that ONE aspect of my life (I am pretty dumb in all others!). Most of them are miserable first timers or on a second miserable marriage.

NEVER get depressed over being single and living on your own terms.

What EC said!

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:24pm.

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:17pm.

thanks -- you are SO nice to say that. i hear the same things and see the horrors with my own eyes.

still... you are not CLOSE to my age, lol. i've had both of those hard decade-marking birthdays after which the side eyes and rude questions get started ;-D

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Oh it was Spotty you asked about being hacked, GG, I thought it was BSF.

Spotty???! Conversate? LOL !________________________________
Dark-sided!

GH - hacked?!? No, I really am a nerd.

*caresses my pH probe*

A long time ago I got married in a rush. Things were great at first, but then the emotional bullshit started to take over. He was an ass. I knew long-term things did not look good, but I stayed. Eventually I went back to school, using all of his kids that wanted to have nothing to do with me as dependents on my Pell grant application. Kept going to school, taking a few classes at a time, still being the perfect little wife. When I had finally had enough, and I could see the graduation light at the end of the tunnel, I packed my shit up in my truck and left. Whatever I could fit in my truck went with me, whatever could not fit got left behind. I didn't care. It was the best decision I ever made, but you've got to cover your ass. I worked full-time and went to school my last two semesters. Did I stay with him longer than I should have? Yes, maybe. Had to sock away some cash. I think poor Hekki might've married my ex-husband.

I'm sorry for what everybody is going through. It sucks now, but it will get better.

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:17pm.

SDR, is that you or did somebody hack your account?
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Actually - good point. That's why I said what I said. Who would say or do that - that's not like the BSF I know but then again, I really don't "know" anyone.

And the "conversate"? Who says that, only Maury guests and 15 year olds!
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Dark-sided!

IF, yes I have a landscape design/gardening biz, which is seasonal.
I WISH his rent was paid! There is truth in everything you say. Thanks for not pulling any punches. I appreciate the empathy and the advice. I hope that I can help you sometime too!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Add me to the cast of the dlisters soap, "As the Stomach Churn".
Cheers. =o/
====================
"Birds are doomed when pussies can fly"- MK

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:17pm.

I have never been married either, so don't ever be depressed about that! If I had married the men that had asked, I would be divorced several times over because of cheating, as the usual relationship ender with me is cheating.

My married gf's and male friends all tell me how lucky I am, and how smart I have been with that ONE aspect of my life (I am pretty dumb in all others!). Most of them are miserable first timers or on a second miserable marriage.

NEVER get depressed over being single and living on your own terms.

SpotteDog, what a wonderful uplifting story!

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:20pm.

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:12pm.

BSF, your heard my blather on this a couple of weeks ago -- get a drop cell phone, and imo although to some extent the ship has sailed on discretion here, there is no need to provide a running chronology of your potential litigation strategy here ....

best to you and all others with the marital issues

ETA: just read IFs post. oh i wasn't going to be the first one but i'm coward enough to bandwagon jump. i too am definitely on side of "vp is an asshole". not you. him. from the very first time i read about him hovering around your desk before anything happened. sorry

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:12pm.

Damn y'all...misery loves company I guess. Sorry for everyone going through tough times. Sorry for me too.

I'm a dumbass texter. Can't conversate with the other man at home with the spouse in earshot, though. If any references to my cooch (yeah, VP texted that) end up entered into the official record of any court of law, I may walk into traffic. Hopefully, the lawyer has a remedy for this.
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You did NOT just say "conversate"!

BSF, I wish you the best, I really do but wow - some of the things you say just have me scratching my head. It's just so disrespectful to sext and chat with the man you are having an affair with with your husband in the house. Seriously girl, move out and live your life but all this dishonesty and disrespect just boggles my mind. And this VP is an asshole (sorry). Be a man and get the fuck away until your honey works out her marriage/moves out. If a woman my sexting my husband with me right there I swear to God...!

I do hope this works out well, esp. with a child involved. She's the one who really matters and will suffer the most. Good luck to you, I wish you happiness!
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Dark-sided!

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:12pm.

You better be veeeeery careful with that texting shit BSF. That is a keg of dynamite! BE SMART!

But Seriously Folks:

. Like I posted earlier, VP is a symptom, not the disease.

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Reminds me of a favorite movie: When Harry Met Sally

Jess: Marriages don't break up on account of infidelity. It's just a symptom that something else is wrong.

Harry Burns: Oh really? Well, that "symptom" is fucking my wife.

SDR, is that you or did somebody hack your account?

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:10pm.

you've been thru a lot and have done a LOT for other people. glad it's starting to come around

/spends a lot of time depressed re: being my age and never having been married. maybe not that much anymore ...

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Tue, 09/11/2012 - 6:10pm.

Wow! That is a super great story SDR! YES, there are some good people still left out there.