Words Of Inspiration From Lindsay Lohan
If you hid under tables at restaurants to snatch designer bags off the floor from unsuspecting hos, never returned the laptop you "borrowed" from Chateau Marmont and faked walking pneumonia so the studio that was dumb enough to hire you puts you on a private jet, you too could have a janky Birkin bag, a janky laptop and sit in janky jet (with dirty, cum-stained and dried vomit covered seats) like Lindsay Lohan!
LiLo tweeted this tweet of inspiration today and I know it has moved a bowel movement out of you. So the next time you're on your knees, giving a beej to a rich john for money to buy a Chanel knock-off, reach for the stars and by that I mean reach for the Rolex around his wrist and slip it off without him knowing it. You can thank LiLo's tweet for pushing you toward your life goals.
And here's everyone's new life coach carrying that Birkin bag while walking into her hotel in NYC today. If you put your head out your window and listen closely, you can hear a bitch screaming, "That's my fucking missing Birkin!"
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Submitted by gallerygirla on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:45pm.
Considering that Birkin is ostrich, it probably costs closer to the $20,000 to $30,000 mark or more. If she had any sense of accountability, she could very easily sell that bag for what it is worth or more (considering the resale market for Birkins is huge), and pay off most of that Chateau bill.
Stop!! You're killing me! hahaha
Who dat - I heard about that on Howard sterns radio show years ago. Oprah showed up at Hermes boutique at closing time and expected the staff to stay open for her ! The audacity of her big fat ego. I'm Oprah Winfrey ! They told her to leave ! Good for Hermes. Who the he'll do these celebutards think they are ? Really now ?!
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
She may as well hang a sign around her neck that says "I drink a fifth of vodka a day"
NO ONE who is that skinny has a double chin like hers unless they're an alcoholic.
"It's a bowl of bullshit with chip scraps"
Did she think she was tweeting this to like Sierra Leone where they don't know the back story on all this shit?
Delusional Tard
Hermes supposedly wouldn't even let Oprah Winfrey in their store. Y'all think they're tickled Birkin pink that she has one of their products on display in her stash?
Yes Lindsay, Never quit fighting to live out your dreams of being the most Basic Bitch on the block.
Considering that Birkin is ostrich, it probably costs closer to the $20,000 to $30,000 mark or more. If she had any sense of accountability, she could very easily sell that bag for what it is worth or more (considering the resale market for Birkins is huge), and pay off most of that Chateau bill.
Birkin or no, that bag looks like it would be sticky on the inside with a stench that caused the repeated dropping of oxygen masks from the cabin ceiling.
she makes Honey Boo Boo's mamma's chins look down right pretty...who has the beginnings of a double chin at 26, or 25 or however this raggedy looking bitch is....she will have a full on double chin and no hair by the time she is 30...her teeth are already jacked minus the cosmetic dentistry, she is doing a reverse Benji Buttons shit here. How I loathe this cunt...I cannot cound the ways.
I can't believe the studio sent a PRIVATE JET for this arrogant, spoiled bitch! Make her fly COACH next time.
Get Serious, did you really? I think I love you!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
This bitch, I swear.
Also, Parliaments?! Broke ass high school kids smoke fucking Parliaments.
My Twitter response to blowhan's stupidity:
"The Chateu Marmont called, it wants it's computer back. Nice "honor your contract, bitch" jet ride, btw..."
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Looks like she got it at a thrift store.
ME, she thinks the public is so dumb that we'll not notice the jet was just to get her delinquent ass to the job site and not just a nicety for a star...they should have tossed her ass on a Southwest flight.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Hey Blohan, remember, that jet was sent after you failed to appear. It wasn't just a nice gesture from the studio, it was a "GET YOUR FUCKING ASS TO WORK NOW!"
Stupid whore.
What an obnoxious ass!!! Dude in thumbnail #5 looks like he's laughing at her. :D
I don't believe she appreciates the things she has.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
yeah but that face
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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other) -MK
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I can probably fit 10 dicks up my ass, but that doesn't make it right -MK
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Everything in that pic looks busted. & very dirty. Ew.
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
But the GM at the Marmont understood that she would return the hotel laptop upon her departure the next day! She can't possibly have deceived him?
The sticker on her Mac Book says "Please me"
Fuck this entitled twat.
I seriously wish fatal bodily harm to her.
because having outrageously expensive belongings = true happiness right?
FUCK YOU BITCH! DIAF!
Her laptop sticker(??) is a bit tacky. As is the cigarette peeking out of the bag.
Submitted by Statler and Waldorf on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 7:31am.
On another note, have any of you guys gotten your comments censored on Celebitchy?
Are they the Gestapo over there with comments?
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Have you ever seen the comments on TMZ? If you write ANYTHING with certain words as part of it, the "bad word" part is censored. Someone wrote the word 'circumstances' the other day and the 'cum' part of it was censored. So when you read it, it says "cir***stances". Totally ridiculous.
Because it's so obvious that things make people happy and not functional relationships.
If she was a true addict, I would feel sorry for her. But I think she's just a entitled cunt.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
Submitted by Statler and Waldorf on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 7:31am.
On another note, have any of you guys gotten your comments censored on Celebitchy?
Are they the Gestapo over there with comments?
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Yup. There's a fuzzy party line. If you cross it, you get deleted or banned. As you suggested, sometimes it's hard to even tell what you said wrong. Their motto is "Escapism can be smart" or something, but I see far more wit and brains on this site than on Celebitchy.
It's my dream to be a white trash junkie that's been to court more times than I've been to the beach in the last 10 years.
I love that she's closed out her comment with God bless. Makes it so much more meaningful.
I guess this is what she defines as happiness: luxury goods; and other people having to send for her in a jet because she missed her flight.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
Keep fucking everyone over, you dumb whore...obviously it's working in your favor. Maybe you'll get ran over by a NYC cabbie later so you can maintain your lifestyle and keep on living the dream #LOSER
ESE lmao!!! Well, this booze ain't gonna buy itself you know!
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 8:27am.
Good lawd... here she is wandering around with her bubble gum Birkin and Taco Bell. So klassay.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2202869/Lindsay-Lohan-indul...
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Hahaha, they talk about how Sheen got beer delivered and she had to get her own Taco Bell. And then
"His co-star’s rider [Lindsay's]experience was a little less rock ‘n’ roll though and production assistant was seen spraying roach insecticide on her trailer today to keep her feeling comfortable in the state’s humid conditions."
Submitted by Doll-Parts: "The outfit would be great with a strappy or jeweled nude sandal, no belt, a tiny mother of Pearl clutch...on someone who is not ugly with polyester hair."
Yeah! You do that, too? I was trying to imagine outfits that would go with the pink Birkin! I love those "Who Wore It Best?" in one of the tabloid mags my SIL gets - InStyle or Us, one of those.
Fucking Lindsay always gets it wrong. Always. The only time she ever looks good is when her styling is done for a photo shoot. My favorite was the Vanity Fair shoot. She looked clean and beautiful, done up like Grace Kelly.
Everything in that pic is more than likely stolen or "borrowed" so if your a criminal I guess that is "living the dream", fuck I HHAATTEE this whore!!!!
The outfit would be great with a strappy or jeweled nude sandal, no belt, a tiny mother of Pearl clutch...on someone who is not ugly with polyester hair.
"This world is a whore."
Wow. How deluded is this dime store hooker?
Honey, these material things don't make you happy
thats why your life is in the crapper and your mom is a sponging, drunken,fucked up, crack whore.
Living the dream, deam on.
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 9:44am.
Submitted by dementa: "My dream is for her to spend at least two years in the general pop of a prison, no parole, and sobbing girlfriend of Big Bertha. When does THAT come true?"
Keep fighting, dementa. Never quit fighting for your dreams. Just like Lindsay Lohan. God bless.
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What did Big Bertha ever do to either of you?
Nobody deserves a Lohan.
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I'm a heretic. Feel free to drive me from your midst.
It's a private jet because she didn't show up for Scary Movie "some number" and they had to send a jet for her to even come.
Lousy worthless pig.
I can't with this bitch. Just can't. She is a black hole.
I bet Hermes marketing is FUMING that this crack whore is diluting their brand.
Personally, I like the look of a Birkin, though. Depending on who's toting it, and what they're wearing.
Is this cum gargling gutter slut ever going to od??????
Big whoop. I bought a Macbook last weekend and it didn't have shit to do with dreams. More like my total lack of having any for myself and wanting a reliable machine for internet access so I can poke fun at others as they swing for the fences and miss like this trollop.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
Also, I need to point out a misconception that people like LiLo have. Owning a Birkin (or Chanel or what have you) isn't a golden ticket to being accepted by the elites. Maybe it'll get you into a party thrown by an Atlanta Real Housewife in Vegas, but security at the Maidstone Club is going to pop you in your rented Porsche and give you directions back to the highway.
That's an ugly Birkin.
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Hahahaha, fuck you Lindsay
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
Love how the pack of smokes is clearly visible.
I'm sure that's what Hermes had intended the luxury bag to transport.
STAY CLASSY BITCH.
Submitted by dementa: "My dream is for her to spend at least two years in the general pop of a prison, no parole, and sobbing girlfriend of Big Bertha. When does THAT come true?"
Keep fighting, dementa. Never quit fighting for your dreams. Just like Lindsay Lohan. God bless.