Words Of Inspiration From Lindsay Lohan
If you hid under tables at restaurants to snatch designer bags off the floor from unsuspecting hos, never returned the laptop you "borrowed" from Chateau Marmont and faked walking pneumonia so the studio that was dumb enough to hire you puts you on a private jet, you too could have a janky Birkin bag, a janky laptop and sit in janky jet (with dirty, cum-stained and dried vomit covered seats) like Lindsay Lohan!
LiLo tweeted this tweet of inspiration today and I know it has moved a bowel movement out of you. So the next time you're on your knees, giving a beej to a rich john for money to buy a Chanel knock-off, reach for the stars and by that I mean reach for the Rolex around his wrist and slip it off without him knowing it. You can thank LiLo's tweet for pushing you toward your life goals.
And here's everyone's new life coach carrying that Birkin bag while walking into her hotel in NYC today. If you put your head out your window and listen closely, you can hear a bitch screaming, "That's my fucking missing Birkin!"
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Sooo all her "dreams" are to have overpriced bullshit on a gas guzzling private jet??
Vapid cunt.
Are we supposed to be jealous? LOL! I don't care how much that purse is allegedly worth, I wouldn't be caught dead carrying such a tacky monstrocity! Also, WHO bedazzles their computer?! That being said, having terrible taste is probably THE LEAST of this cunt's problems.
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Douchechill!
I can't believe this bitch can be this big of a mess and have a "career" as an actress.
If I was this big of a mess, I'd be fired in a second from my crappy retail job.
Its awe-inspiring to see how she has such lofty dreams and has achieved them.
Wow - what an aspirational dream. A bag and a computer. Steady on love, none of us have a bag or a computer. I don't know how I'm managing to write this...
Silly cow.
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VILE - Linda La Hughes (gimme, gimme)
My friend is a birkin psycho....she dreams of owning one and she knows a fake down to a stitch. She thinks Lilo's is just a really good fake.
hhahahahhahahah
She's a dirt bag.
Submitted by Statler and Waldorf on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 7:31am.
Ref. Celebitchy - yeah, I've actually read comments on other blogs about how much they censor the comment section. I don't really read them munch because the posts are not nearly as fun as they are here on dlisted. Only so much time in the day...
Keep sucking those dicks to live your dream cunt!
My dreams are all material, too!
I see she smokes the P-Funks. I used to smoke those in college! I quit smoking almost ten years ago, but this takes me back ... to the gross days where I smelled like an ashtray, woke up coughing every morning, and couldn't run a half marathon.
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Devil's advocate.
And a pack of P-funks sticking out of her Birkin.
nice. first class.
None of those items she paid for. She sounds like a total asshole.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
She is beyond disgusting. Yes - she is living the dream.
She's got her BAG and her computer and a jet. I see no loved ones in the picture or anybody that cares about her. These are truly the priorities of a happy person.
Submitted by babybunny on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 12:53am.
This. Cunt
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Yup. And if that is her dream that is soul crushing. Pray for Lindsay Lohan. Seriously.
Love,
Mabel
Good lawd... here she is wandering around with her bubble gum Birkin and Taco Bell. So klassay.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2202869/Lindsay-Lohan-indul...
Translation: Things equal happiness!!
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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Submitted by Statler and Waldorf on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 7:31am.
On another note, have any of you guys gotten your comments censored on Celebitchy?
Yes a long time ago I posted that Kim Kuntrashian was a useless cum dumpster and was never able to post again. WTF? it was the troof.
They like to call Hohan "The Cracken" over there.
Submitted by Statler and Waldorf on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 7:31am.
Never commented there and never will, so I can't help you there, but if it makes you feel better, I agree with you about Kate Middleton. No woman gets a pass, there is no right way to be a woman in this culture.
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I'm a heretic. Feel free to drive me from your midst.
Gotta love her ciggs. I'm not even judging I smoke too, but wtf kind of crack hoe-y, mentholy, brand is that? Marlboro lights girl.
ah Hohan, delusion be thy name.
Get ready for her tweets flaming Dr. Shill for being a meanie to WO.
Submitted by babybunny on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 12:53am.
This. Cunt.
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Pithy and to the point. I like it!
well at least she isn't tweeting while driving....
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"Oh, let me see if there's any fucks stuck under
my nails. Nope. Fresh out of fucks."
This is her dream? Nothing like aiming high.
I'm not against Birkins, because I remember JFK Jr.'s wife carrying one in the 90s and she did it with a quiet simplicity. It was black and very understated and never looked cheesy. This one, on the other hand, looks like a Barbie purse.
On another note, have any of you guys gotten your comments censored on Celebitchy? I wrote a perfectly nice reply agreeing with someone and said the site came down too hard on Kate Middleton and that not even Dlisted is that harsh. I didn't use any swear words or anything unacceptable, and they never approved my comment. I wrote another one asking why it was not approved, and that one magically disappeared too. Yet they approved a zillion others, some agreeing with the initial commenter.
Just to test, I wrote a comment on a Kate Hudson post and that got approved, so I'm not banned.
Are they the Gestapo over there with comments? I think I'll be deleting them off my Yahoo reader and not bothering to comment anymore. Screw them.
If I was Hermes, Chanel and Apple I sure as hell would sue this bitch for defamation. I'd rather go bankrupt than be associated with this trash.
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 12:12am.
Is Payne Stewart's jet-leasing company still around?
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Hee! :)
That would still only speed up the inevitable at this point.
Submitted by SteelCityGirl on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 1:35am.
I looove purses but I would never fall prey to the trap. It's not a status symbol it's a red flag to the universe declaring you're a desperate, try-hard idiot
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In all fairness to Lohan, there is no evidence that she ever tried hard for anything.
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I'm a heretic. Feel free to drive me from your midst.
Submitted by youarestupid on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 2:30am.
I'm not bothered by this because she's not really bragging...she's trying to validate her own self worth by making others envious and pretending that her life is all peachy keen when in reality she's deeply insecure
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That's the definition of bragging, actually.
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I'm a heretic. Feel free to drive me from your midst.
High priced prostitutes do Ok I guess.
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Submitted by Nanners on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 5:48am.
Submitted by bagladey on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 4:07am.
Does she have a receipt from Hermes for that bag?
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For real. SHOW US THE RECEIPTS, BITCH!
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White Oprah was too busy giving interviews to forge her some.
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I'm a heretic. Feel free to drive me from your midst.
I signed up to twitter just to post this. 140 characters is really not enough:
@lindsaylohan you only have any of those things because you stole them/ tried to fake an illness to get out of a job. Classy b****
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
A half a pack of Parliaments. A spotted bag of blow. A script of Vicodin and of Xanax. A couple mini bottles of Absolute. Living the family dream. God bless you losers!
Signed,
LILO
Submitted by bagladey on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 4:07am.
Does she have a receipt from Hermes for that bag?
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For real. SHOW US THE RECEIPTS, BITCH!
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
Ive always found u get so much respect by not having any designer shit as an celeb... This is why i love 80' s rockers...they just looked like shit on stage and off. Like...how fucking insecure is she acting 14? I wanted keds,guess jeans and a perm my mother was like,"its good to want things!"
Does she have a receipt from Hermes for that bag?
Unpaid hotel bills, stolen jewelry, stolen fur coat, stolen camera, coke residue, never quit fighting to get your crack whore high biznatch!!
Wow, perfect way to advertise how low class & tacky you are Lindsay Trashcan. Similar to a super model exclaiming via twatter her rare beauty she is thankful for. It is shallow, tasteless & tactless.
That aside; fire her stylist(or mom?):Birkin bags are a dime a dozen and super ugly; it is so tragic Ostriches had to die for this shallow loser to have that hideous, overpriced, awkward, bulky shaped non-functionally deep pink clunky, unsightly 'bag'.
Her cheap looking orange, crinkley trash heap dress - which clashes with her freckley gingerness tragically combined with that harsh black belt & cheap looking shoes(Happy Halloween) to try and advertise the 'Chanel' Logo, as if that somehow displays her fortune? Karl Lagerfeld, Chief Designer would NOT approve & his precious feline Choupette would barf on a crystal plate at that failed fashion attempt.
Everyone knows its the tackiest poorest people who try desperately to wear gigantic designer labels plastered on clothes and accessories to shout at the public 'look at me I can afford designer label stuff Wowwww'. Naive much?
I'm surprised she didn't die 5 years ago. God Bless.
´¨¨) -:¦:-
¸.•´ .•´¨¨)
(¸¸.•´ ..•´ but what do I know?-:¦:-
-:¦:- (¸¸.•´*
This thread topic makes me more & more giggly. The reason she's on the jet in the first place is she tried to back out of making that movie she'd already signed for & read the script (despite only having a cameo role); she tried faking walking pnuemonia, but the producer called her on her bullshit & sent this jet to pick her up. As for her laptop, that's the one she ripped off from the Chateu Marmont when she dine & ditched on her $46,000 tab. Even when she's trying to shove "the good life" in everybody's face to try to make everyone envious of her (and her feel better about being herself), she's a fucking incompetent...
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Submitted by Joeb on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 12:46am.
And I want to know what's in Lohan's purse.
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2 packs of Parliament cigarettes, a lighter, lip gloss, lip stick, gum, a small mirror with cocaine residue, Xanax (to help come down from cocaine), Oxycontin, Adderall, wallet full of previously rolled up bills, make-up. Actually, I took a closer look and I'm 90% sure that's a pill bottle next to her cigs.
How pathetic is her 'Liz bites Dick' profile picture?
That jet looks dirty. She either stole the Birkin, or is renting one. That's the laptop she hasn't returned to the Chateau Marmont. I don't see the Chanel jacket so she probably was lying about that.
And why would it be someone's idea of success and ultimate goal to own these things and ride a broke-ass jet? There are plenty of successful actors with enviable careers who can't afford a mansion in Beverly Hills and don't travel by jet and don't own a closet full of designer clothes.
*edit*
(Holy typos Batman!)
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Sad.
Down in front.
Did she try to disguise Chateau Marmont's laptop by crackily, Krakenly putting stickers all over it?
"This world is a whore."
I'm not bothered by this because she's not really bragging...she's trying to validate her own self worth by making others envious and pretending that her life is all peachy keen when in reality she's deeply insecure and knows that she's shit
Is that camel toe, saggy boobs and a double chin in pic #3? Nasty bish. Hey, I was just askin......lol
PS--She CLEARLY has coke/alcohol bloat. That's how she can still be skinny and have the face of a pig. Seriously, my ex-husband was an addict of both, and a skinny little shyte, but had the bloaty face, too. She needs to lay off the coke and drinking!
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"There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved."
because over priced , overrated material possessions , fleeting fame and holding people over a barrel who are either kind or stupid enough to hire you to "work" & basing your self worth on the fickle taste of the public will always bring you a lifetime of happiness and self fulfillment . Just ask Linds !!
everyone's new Life coach LMFAO!
#TWISTEDPRIORITIES
Its not plastic surgery , its a medical condition!!
I love that she still has that fugly picture of her busted ass trying so hard to look like Liz Taylor. I'm actually offended by the fact that she's playing her, but each new picture cracks me up.
Yea but where's the blow Hohan? We all know all that stuff isn't yours unless it has traces of colombian sugar sprinkled all over it.
Two Blohan posts in a day? C'mon MK; I barely have the strength to read about her once a month.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
My dream is for her to spend at least two years in the general pop of a prison, no parole, and sobbing girlfriend of Big Bertha. When does THAT come true?
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Scott, you got it 100% right. Her dreams are a dirty looking jet, a rumpled smoke scented Birkin stuffed with junk and an older model grafitti'd mac. They aren'y even NICE material possessions! If anyone said their dream was a safe warm home, unconditional love and friendship and health she'd never understand. So pathetic.
Submitted by Snowblood on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 1:52am.
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Yeah Lohan, needs to get away from her nutcase family, her crazy friends and leeching agents/dealers/enablers...
((Hugs to you Snowblood)) ;)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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