Words Of Inspiration From Lindsay Lohan
If you hid under tables at restaurants to snatch designer bags off the floor from unsuspecting hos, never returned the laptop you "borrowed" from Chateau Marmont and faked walking pneumonia so the studio that was dumb enough to hire you puts you on a private jet, you too could have a janky Birkin bag, a janky laptop and sit in janky jet (with dirty, cum-stained and dried vomit covered seats) like Lindsay Lohan!
LiLo tweeted this tweet of inspiration today and I know it has moved a bowel movement out of you. So the next time you're on your knees, giving a beej to a rich john for money to buy a Chanel knock-off, reach for the stars and by that I mean reach for the Rolex around his wrist and slip it off without him knowing it. You can thank LiLo's tweet for pushing you toward your life goals.
And here's everyone's new life coach carrying that Birkin bag while walking into her hotel in NYC today. If you put your head out your window and listen closely, you can hear a bitch screaming, "That's my fucking missing Birkin!"
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Aw, bella you are so gracious & such a strong, superkind Lady! A real lady,not like that nincompoop who wore the new century's version of the slutbride's wedding dress. God, no!! You're beyond the bomb, beLla, and about one of the kindest, realest Dlisters here.
I lost my other post, because I'm tryna do all of this in the dark wind with my hair flying everywhere on the BEACH oin my cellphone after 2 bottles of chardonnay and counting.
god bless nouveau riche narcissists.
I said god DAMN! *wipes nose* I mean AMEN!!
Oh my god. I love this idiot, because I might be a softheart with flip-flappy taste in human beings, but, she seriously needs to snap the fuck OUT of it.
Look, I had a childhood rife with violent abuse, theft, cruelty, neglect and upheaval, too. Yet, like Pearl Jam, I'm still alive. I still drink like Bukowski & take drugs like Burroughs or whatever, but I passed 40 and I'm not dead yet, planning on surpassing age 90.
*passes blunt to the left* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You are a real sweetheart Snowblood and the strong survivor here! You're a kind soul and it shines through in your writing! *muah* ♥
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Fuck this cum dumpster! Why hasn't she o'ded yet? The world is so unfair!
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
Why is she getting a chin jowl? She's skinny in the waist. Fat lips, fat chin. Too bad!! She seemed like a nice teenager but she turned out so blechky. She got way too much attention, and she still does. It's morbid.
I fucking detest this fucking crackhead prostitute.
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Nothing, nothing is manageable
So can't we skip the valedictories
I can see the door there
Shut it and forget my number
I hope she doesn't die because her epic cuntitude is the gift that keeps on giving. If she Dana Platos on us then who will we have to laugh at?
There's always Amanda Bynes I suppose.
Dear Lindsay,
I would rather have only one chin and no Birkin.
Love,
Barf
NAILED IT! I looove purses but I would never fall prey to the trap. It's not a status symbol it's a red flag to the universe declaring you're a desperate, try-hard idiot. Unless it's vintage and given to you for free, just say NO- even then, it would be wiser to sell it to some other trick and make a buck. Bitches paying $10-20k for those are insane and a joke to the rest of the world. Birkins aren't even cute and are such gross displays of wealth especially when there are so many people who have nothing. There is no hope for Lohan. Whether she lifted the bag or not, tweets like this are just footnotes for the obituary.
Way to sound like a Mastercard commercial.
´¨¨) -:¦:-
¸.•´ .•´¨¨)
(¸¸.•´ ..•´ but what do I know?-:¦:-
-:¦:- (¸¸.•´*
Beer, coke, playstation, whores... you gotta fight, fight yer right....
Sad that the substance of Lindsay's "dreams" are objects meant to impress others. It's even more sad that, since she seems to hold these things as sacred, they don't even belong to her legitimately.
This. Cunt.
"XOXO. Commodore 64. Designer Imposter Fragrances and a bus pass."
@lindsaylohan, 9/13/2013
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Well between this and her Obama-don't-tax-me-I'm-broke tweet, I positively don't know WHAT to think. I'll bet there are about 28 packs of cigs in that fug bag.
Whose plane did she steal?
Hehehe Tojo *winks at you and your studly avie*
OnT: How does Lohan have more double-chin than her Mamma?!?! Lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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She probably threw everything -that wasn't nailed down- from the plane into that bag...
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That stuff looks like a pile of cheesy old shit that some hobo lifted and left behind on the seat ..... because it was a pile of cheesy old shit.
On another note, Lohan never could be accused of having good style but in these pics she looks bloated, haggard and old.
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"You wait. They gonna get everybody on twitter, facebook, doing everythin' online and then they gonna pull the PLUG and we all gonna be FUCKED!"
If her dream is to be a filthy thieving cracked out whore, then she is living the hell out of that mother fucker.
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Love the Moms in your life. It would suck with out them.
I want to go through that purse. I want Miss Lohan to take one of her frequent restroom breaks and go through that purse. I want Tim Tebow to admit he can't go on one more day without me. And I want to know what's in Lohan's purse.
Aim high Lindsay, aim high.
Submitted by misslainey on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 11:14pm.
Don't know much about muckity muck designer bags, but isn't that one like about 10 years old? Or does Birkin just changethe color from year to year?
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You can't tell how old it is by the color. Hermes, the design house that makes the Birkin, has a waiting list for them. You can order them in just about any color and in any material you like if you have the bucks. In this case, this one appears to be ostrich skin.
Poor ostrich, what did it do to deserve a fate such as this?
fanks whithy, Marion is very lovely also! ;)
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Tojo, he was at his most sexy beautiful then! Great choice! :p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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zomay, lmao! ;)
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Within, YES! Wasn't he beautiful? I forgot how handsome he was...not the Marlon from 'Apocalypse Now' for sure! Good eye Within!
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TOJO
TOJO
TOJO.
:D
I always want to say your name 3 times really fast for some reason. Xoxo
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
Me convinced that hideous fucking belt is pinching the nipples off those sagging udders. *adjusting my fabulous chesticles*
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly
She's riding a first class ticket on the Whitney Houston Express.
Tojo, is that a young Brando? Love*love*love him! :)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by zomay on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 12:21am.
LIVE YOUR DREAMS!!!!!!!
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I hope they use that caption on her next mugshot...
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LIVE YOUR DREAMS!!!!!!!
SO WISE! THANK YOU DEEPAK CHOPRA BLOWHAN.
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
Submitted by MrsPotatoHead on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 11:26pm.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 11:23pm.
The guy in the last thumb... too funny. ;p
LOL, I just noticed that. He looks like he's trying way to hard to fap. His junk has better ideas, I'm sure.
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wouldn't you think he would be so impressed with the "movie stah" that he would be taking pics with that camera (phone) in his hand?...but no... it's just a piece of trash blowing along the sidewalk,,,
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Submitted by Mani6 on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 12:07am.
Twittiot.
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Bwahahahaa Mani6, that works for the Twihards too! Ololol ;)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Is Payne Stewart's jet-leasing company still around?
Twittiot.
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Na, Loopy got it right the first time....stealing is stealing.
LiLo's statement should read: Never stop selling your firecrotch to live your dreams.
She's truly a fucking idiot.
Loopy, more like:
Weave from hollywood hair and nails $200 (unpaid)
Hotel bill $46,000 (unpaid)
Mumu maxi dress $2,000 ("borrowed")
Birkin Bag $10,000 ("borrowed")
MacBook $1,000 (parole officer's)
Necklace $10,000 ("borrowed")
Stealing all those things and living a delusional life : Priceless
Har har har har ;p
Her Twitter user pic is the most unfortunate photo ever!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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It takes a special kind of delusional dumbass to tweet pics of a laptop she's openly stolen from a hotel that she ran away from after ducking out on a $43,000 tab. Then again, she kinda did the same thing when she jacked the fur coat from the lady and the necklace from the jewelry store; she was photographed by the papparazzi wearing those items the very next day after she stole them, and was forced to give them back. Moreover, the stolen macbook blows a hole in her "I thought the producers were going to pay the hotel bill" excuse. If I was the Chateu Marmont, I'd sue her for the bill, and use this picture of the macbook she stole to have her arrested...
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
I would try to follow my dreams but the recurring dream of finding my self suddenly and completely naked in front of a large crowd of co workers...ain't happening.
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Loopy said:
Weave from hollywood hair and nails $2000
Hotel bill $46,000
Mumu maxi dress $2,000
Birkin Bag $10,000
MacBook $1,000
Necklace $10,000
Stealing all those things and living a delusional life : Priceless
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That was priceless Loopy, another gem!
Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 11:33pm.
HE IS digging for something and looks about ready to bust! A little too happy, right? lmao
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No one's weiner should be traumatized like that!!
Parodying yourself in Scary Movie 5 for chump change sounds dreamy.
Weave from hollywood hair and nails $2000
Hotel bill $46,000
Mumu maxi dress $2,000
Birkin Bag $10,000
MacBook $1,000
Necklace $10,000
Stealing all those things and living a delusional life : Priceless
What exactly is she fighting in order to live her dreams? I'm guessing yeast infections and UTIs.
PARLIMENTS! The only thing that makes Lilo relatable to me.