Hot Slut Of The Day!
Mimi, La Bruja's confidante and lady-in-waiting on The Real Housewives of Miami.
RHOA came back for a second season Thursday night (but my ass didn't get to watch until yesterday) and it is so scripted, so fake and the acting is so terrible it makes telenovelas look like documentaries on life in the Latino community. Just like the first season, the only reason to watch that mess is to feed your soul with the waves of spiritual enlightenment and shards of broken moon glass shooting out of La Bruja's "portals to the universe" eyes. (Fun fact: If you stare deep into La Bruja's eyes long enough, you can almost make out the crystallized sugar walls of Walter Mercado's colon. Yes, they're connected.) This season, La Bruja brought along an equally as hot sidekick, her devoted housekeeper Mimi.
Not only does Mimi take care of La Bruja's every need including slathering her face with the thick nipple syrup of a leopard to keep her skin from sliding off, but Mimi also serenades her with a beautiful lullaby to soothe her frazzled nerves. On the first episode, that gato-looking faced selfish puta monster Marysol Patton entered La Bruja's lair and stressed out the most beautiful blossom in Floria by not agreeing with everything she said. (Seriously, who doesn't agree with EVERYTHING La Bruja says?) Upsetting her daughter stressed La Bruja out so much that the inside/out Rocky Dennis mask on her head almost popped off. Mimi stopped this from happening by putting La Bruja into a trance with a gorgeous lullaby:
Just turn RHOM into The Mimi & La Bruja Show already! We need more touching moments where Mimi's nightingale voice puts La Bruja into such a calm state that she looks like a slow simmering turkey meatball with droopy eyes. THIS is love.
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I watched this mess and I don't know if I can keep watching because this bunch is the nastiest, ugliest group on any of the Housewives shows (and very few housewives either)
All of them have enough plastic surgery to cover all of Hollywood and the thing is NONE of them look attractive with it! Mama Elsa is the worst, of course. Her face is not human any more.
Marysol and Alexia, two of the four holdovers are the only women I would care to know. The third, Lea, is bitchier than I remember and her laugh is just as annoying if not more so. The new women come across as hateful and shallow.
Oh well, I am afraid I am hooked. :(
Its exactly like watching the Latina version of Grey Gardens.
Kisa - I hate waiting for shows to sit in Canada way after reading about them on here. So happy the second season of Mob Wives is finally on Slice.
And yes I love Poutine, don't you? Where in Canada are you from?
Um. Doesn't La Bruja mean The witch?
...gato-looking faced selfish puta monster...
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Holy fuck! MK I love you!!!
You guys missed the mess just before this. La Bruja was freaked out because Napoleon (the little rat dog) had been missing and La Bruja was totally wigged out. La Bruja's theory was that he was hiding in the closet and took a Xanax and that he wanted to commit suicide -- totally wacky shit. Also, anyone notice Scottie Pippen's dragon lady wife Larsa is not on this season. Joanna Krupa, fuck piece extraordinnaire and not even a wife, is a new addition this season, as is some man-faced attorney named Ana.
Just look at the range of facial expressions on these fine ladies!
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
TexnDoc: AHAHHAHAHA! I remember that. (Does she know Angelina stole her "nightgown"?) Her distaste was palpable!
Marysol's face is a horrorshow, but her body is tight for a 40something. One look at her and you see her insecurity. Hell, *I* could probably seduce her - it's so obvious what her buttons are. Poor thing.
ETA: That sounded like a very lesbish comment. What got into me?
Texndoc - exactly when he leaves to go wash his hands ( you can almost read his mind) he's thinking like yup in about 1-2 years top$ I'm outa here with a big fat paycheck ka -Ching ! There's no way he was there for the long haul ?!
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
Philippe is the dude who I remember.
http://www.dlisted.com/node/41140
In fact, if you watch this first and then today's clip it makes so much more sense. Philippe was indeed after the $$$ and you could tell he was repulsed by this mother-daughter team. "Es-scuse me, I need to go wash my hands." More like gag/wretch in private.
Texandoc- not really Phillipe was a younger (10 years or so ) man that marysol met. I suspect he was a gold digger type IMO. She's well to do and he was homeless and unemployed. He wasnt too concerned with mama Elsa's visage more so with marysols bank account balance. He knew he wouldn't be around for if & when it would happen that marysol would inherit mamas looks ( Phillipe wasn't in it for the long haul ) to quote Sweet Brown " ain't nobody got time fo dat. "
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
Was "Phillipe" the sort of good looking guy who Marysol brought home to meet Mama and he kept staring at Mama with a look that said "My God, in ten years SHE'S going to look like this, too!!" ?
I don't watch this trash, so I have no idea- is this old broad a burn victim or is that the worst plastic surgery since Wildenstein? I'm going to guess the latter since Andy Cohen's greasy fingerprints are all over this shit show.
You make me hate my hips! I hate my hips!
Cmag -yesss, what's the deal with bravo making Canada wait for the show ? Idk why ? Hopefully soon ! Your avie looks delicious btw. Poutine fries with gravy ! Yum!
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
Wow Elsa was a babe back in her day ! Wayyyy tooooo much plastic face now.
She's still a hoot though & love the new addition to the cast Mimi. Hope this starts up soon here in Canada. We just got the new season of RHWONJ & everyone is harping all over Tre-Tre especially bulldog face carowhine manzo uggh what a jealous bully ! Hate her and her stoopid brats. That black water business is so dumb !
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
Who knew Rosario really existed??!!
I want a Mimi!!!!! I want someone to sing me lullabyes and give me a choice of coffee and keep my indoor sandbox pooperscooped so I can play in it and and tell me what I am doing wrong in my life so everyone will forgive me when I screw up.
(goes to craigslist and posts ad)
I would TOTALLY watch a show with La Bruja and Mimi forever and ever. And buy everything they endorse.
(goes back to craigslist and looks to see if someone has a life for sale that I can buy)
LOL wtf did I just watch?! That was so entertaining. I can't wait unt they start showing this in Canada!
(((Hi Mickey))) you've been away too long little moo! Hi hi hi hi hi
@Hekki, all those ladies looked so much better in the before pics, holy smokes! :O
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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What the hell did I just watch? Who are these hideous people?
LMAO @ the English subtitles coming up when they speak their incomprehensible English.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Sat, 09/15/2012 - 2:05pm.
I cant with these shit shows.
Really. I need to hang onto my few remaining brain cells.
@ Hekki
Elsa kinda of looked like Sophia Loren when she was younger. Tis a shame her vanity took over and now her face is ruined.
These dingbats before they were famous:
http://www.realitytea.com/2011/03/25/photos-%E2%80%93-real-housewives-of...
Sweet Jesus... what's up with their upper lips not moving?
I wonder what Marysol's original nose looked like.
I wonder why La Bruja doesn't bug Marysol about having a baby. (We all know she's too old, but that would just be extra ammo for La Bruja Elsa!)
That rolling "R" kills me!
((Within))!
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Mimi, is awesome! She knows just how to handle La Bruja, hahahahha I can't with that lady! Walter Mercado is a delicate flower blossom next to her. Good lawd!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sat, 09/15/2012 - 1:38pm.
I hate to admit, but I lo'd when Mama Elsa passed out at the party.
Me thinks she was very drunky, not "ill".
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Plus took a Xanax.
Miami is gonna be over the top this season. MK is right, this show is like a telenovela on crack!
I cant with these shit shows. You guys that watch this...*tsk tsk tsk*
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
AYE LEDDY ESTEEM OWWWW!!
I AN LETTING DE ESTEAM OUT!!!
Never watched this, but I'm guessing the old slag is La Bruja? The hell is wrong with her mouth? She looks like a at old Janice Muppet.
I hate to admit, but I lo'd when Mama Elsa passed out at the party.
Me thinks she was very drunky, not "ill".
I thought the same thing about this bruja that she looks like Walter Mercado except Walter Mercado is better looking!
I almost died laughing about the Rocky Dennis mask because it's so true.
Mimi's voice put the bruja into a trance.
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I'M DONESVILLE!
Nourish the Inner Asshole
Borrachas of the world unite and take over!
RHOM is like a Real Housewives parody.
I heart this mamacita! (Mimi, not La Bruja Elsa).
Elsa is a little bit mean.
And color me SHOCKED that Marysol and her husband are separated.
" she looks like a slow simmering turkey meatball with droopy eyes"
ahahahahah
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.