Night Crumbs

Oliver Stone must have arthritis and he’s obviously trying to rebuke his ailments by touching Salma Hayek’s healing chichis of holiness – Hollywood Tuna 

I think what Kunty Karl is trying to say is that Pippa Middleton’s make-up artist should paint eyes on her ass and she should only show that to the world – Lainey Gossip

Chick-Fil-A is like, “You’re still going to hell, but we want all your money before you go.” – The Superficial 

Jesse Tyler Ferguson and his dude are getting married and all I can think about is how when they touch brows, it probably looks like flames over a bed of coals – Towleroad

Victoria’s secret is that she’s been recycling the same old Miranda Kerr picture over and over again – Drunken Stepfather

How do you say, “Please have a seat over there” in a Chris Hansen speaking Spanish voice? – Viralosity

Kristin Calamariwhatever’s kid has already mastered the hand to face pose – The Berry 

Lindsay Lohan was drunk. Lindsay Lohan wasn’t drunk. Lindsay Lohan hit the dude. Lindsay Lohan didn’t hit the dude. You know how this goes. – Celebitchy

Ke$hit’s album cover looks like a bunch of half-eaten vegetables rotting on top of a compost pile – Just Jared

Olga Kurylenko is flexible – Popoholic

Beyonce is smiling so hard at Obama that I wouldn’t be surprised if her lace front popped off, flew through the air and on landed on his head – Popsugar

And the world still hates both of them – Celebslam

I’m just here for Googie Gomez – SOW

AssStain Kutcher is really into this – Cityrag

Justin Bieber’s mom is trying to act like she didn’t buy him from the Cabbage Patch nursery – IDLYITW

When is Melissa Joan Hart going to do the right thing by naming one of her kids Salem? – I’m Not Obsessed