And No Emmys For You, Mad Men

Christina Hendricks’ husband can’t believe his life either. His face has rarely moved out of that expression ever since Christina asked him, “Do you want to just slip the ring on my left nipple since you haven’t looked at my face once!” during their wedding ceremony.

Mad Men went into the Emmys last night with 17 nominations and they walked away with nothing but a handful of drink tickets to use to drown their sorrows in the sweet nectar after losing EVERYTHING. Jon Hamm was nominated for Outstanding Actor in a Drama and he didn’t get shit. Christina Hendricks was nominated for Outstanding Supporting Actress and she also didn’t even get a tiny dingle out of the Emmy statue’s ass. The only thing Mad Men won was the title of losingest TV show of all time. Northern Exposure and The Larry Sanders show both held the record for the most Emmy losses in one year (16 each) and so Mad Men beat both of their asses.

After THAT episode, I really thought I’d see Christina Hendricks on stage, balancing a trophy on her magnificent chichis while giving an acceptance speech, but that didn’t happen. The Emmy bitches also didn’t do the right thing by giving a very special humanitarian award to Jon Hamm’s hamm loaf for enriching lives (and fuck parts) and making the world a better place. I swear, I was going to throw hate at January Jones for showing up looking like a goth alien going to a funeral, but her entire look was fitting.

And here’s a few more pictures of the Mad Men cast who all took turns crying on the shoulders of Jon Hamm’s peen (yes, it’s so big it has shoulders): Christina Hendricks with her husband, The Hamm with Jennifer Westfeldt, Elisabeth Moss, JJ, Sally Draper and that one who sings that French song.