Lord Kalidor And Red Sonja Did It For Real

Brigitte Nielsen wrote in her memoirs last year that she hopped on Arnold Schwarzenegger’s schnitzel a few times while shooting Red Sonja in 1984, but he kept his tramp lips shut about it until now. Arnold’s got his own book coming out next week and since books don’t just jump to the top of the New York Times Bestsellers list by themselves, he’s finally spilling it about the time he bumped bare pecs with Gitte.

According to Time, the former Governor of Mildred Baena’s Chocha admits that while he was living with Maria Shriver,  he had a fuck party with Gitte. Arnold writes that getting with Gitte helped him realize that he wanted to marry Maria. Time put it like this:

Schwarzenegger and Nielsen co-starred in the 1985 film “Red Sonja.” Nielsen wrote in a memoir published last year that she and Schwarzenegger had an “outrageous affair” while making the movie and that she didn’t know until later that he was involved with Shriver.

Schwarzenegger writes that he knew the fling with Nielsen wouldn’t last and in fact it only made him realize that he wanted to marry Shriver.

Maria Shriver probably didn’t even waste energy on rolling her eyes at this, because Arnold has dicked everything and anything. Arnold has the Flat Stanley of dicks. It’s been everywhere. And Gitte should take it as a compliment that when Arnold was humping on her, he looked deep up into her flaring nostrils and only saw the image of him ruining Maria’s life by marrying her. Bitch dodged a bullet, because if she married Arnold, it’d end with her rolling around in the grass of a Studio City park while drunk on Popov vodka (that’s Russian for “given up on life”). Oh, wait…

And here’s some pictures from a couple of weeks ago of Arnold hanging out with a hot friend while looking like a blind ostrich who’s pumped up on the wrong kind of hormones.