A Crazed Zombie Fan Tried To Eat Danny Bonaduce's Cheek

The zombie apocalypse is a real thing and it's suddenly entered a terrifying new phase, because zombies are so damn desperate that they're willing to put their mouths on the douche leather covering Danny Bonadouchie's face. The News Tribune says that Danny was in the middle of a fan meet-and-greet at a casino in Bow, Washington on Friday night when one of his fans decided that what would really make her time with him extra special is if they re-enacted the cheek butchering scene from Cape Fear.

Danny says that the fan asked him if she could kiss him on the cheek and after he gave a thumbs up to that, she sunk her teeth into his face like he was a ginger-glazed partridge straight out of the oven. Danny is usually so drunk and coked up that he can't feel his face, but he says that when that crazy bitch had her teeth in his skin, he felt things pop. So bitch must be sober for real.

Security eventually pulled the zombie off of Danny's face and he said that his first thought was that the ho must be high on bath salts. She was arrested, but Danny says that he's not pressing charges against her and he's not mad. Danny has a few bite marks on his cheek and they gave him some antibiotics, but he doesn't know yet if he's been turned out by a zombie. Scientists say that when a trick gets successfully zombie-fied, they slobber at the mouth uncontrollably, stumble into walls and lose all communication skills, and since Danny Bonaduce already acts like that all the time, we will never know the truth.

And the crazy zombie who bit Danny didn't need to be treated with antibiotics, but she did need to spend a few hours in the tank drying out since she instantly got drunk just from biting into his skin.

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by zomay on Tue, 10/02/2012 - 5:21am.

I AM A MEMBER OF THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE RESPONSE TEAM. DO NOT FEAR...WE WILL DEFEND THE PLANET AND WIN BACK THE STREETS........

Submitted by harperharper on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 7:39pm.

Not A hot ginge.

Submitted by Dog on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 4:09pm.

You know he tastes like nicotine-flavored pork rinds.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by Esteem on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 2:12pm.

The years of drugs and booze have not been kind to his face, and the years of steroid use were unkind to his peen situation. I wouldn't touch him with a pole, of any size.

Submitted by buttcookie on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 2:00pm.

forget your troubles, come on get happy

Submitted by guest on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 1:26pm.

Nanners...BWHA! I can't bring myself to look!

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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."

Submitted by guest on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 1:23pm.

Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 11:28am.

Submitted by guest on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 11:20am.

Whamo...I didn't you cared!!! *swoon*

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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 5:17pm.

Even as a Partridge kid, Danny was not attractive.

BTW, in the peen pic Danny's in motion. Whatever junk he's got is not just hanging there but not erect either, but moving with his body. Not much to make a judgement like micropeen on. Not that that will stop any of you.

·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan's Lip on Facebook.

Submitted by mefunigirl on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 11:34am.

ew at the peen pic!

why is his crotch soooooo orange?

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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz

Submitted by mahaatma on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 11:22am.

Bet he can't honk the boat horn with that thing like Tommy Lee can.

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"You're gonna be a grandma, bitch!"

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 10:59am.

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 11:38am.
Rande -- someone in the comments on that blog said something to the effect of could you imagine what his peen looks like without an erection? That's his peen WITH an erection?

hahaha. You never know. I guess he's proud of it?

Submitted by winniwins on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 10:51am.

Bow, Wa is right down the road. It's a terrifying place.

Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 10:50am.

53!!!! Oh my. That's a hard 53 right there.

Submitted by miz cynical on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 10:50am.

Twat- thanks for the heads up :)! Ahhh, thoughts of Jon Hamm....now that's a palate cleanser :)!

Submitted by skinny fat on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 10:41am.

Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 12:03pm.
Good thing she didn't try and bite his dick cause she would have broke her teeth slamming her mouth over nothing. All you'd hear is a clacking sound like those wind up novelty teeth

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ROTFLMAO

He's 53? Really? Jeesh, he looks more like 63.

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 10:40am.

miz cynical -- hon, if you don't want to lose your lunch, don't click on the micro peen picture. You do have to wonder where he got the nerve to fling that thing out in public. Now if he had a Jon Hamm-sized peen, I'd walk down the street naked with it hanging out, but when it's microscopic, why bother, right?

Submitted by CheeryBitch on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 10:39am.

Submitted by TOPANGA on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 11:49am.

Slow news day, huh MK? Danny Bonadouchi? Can we talk about that pathetic interview Arnold gave to 60Minutes last night. Wow, talk about heartless denial.
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Didn't watch but saw a few clips. WOW. His smug ego is something else! He doesn't think he does anything wrong, does he? Hmmm.... just like a Kennedy! No wonder Maria was drawn to that misogynist.

Submitted by mahaatma on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 10:34am.

OMG Rande! I may have to get my eyeballs replaced after seeing that cocktail weenie.
It looks like a baby's except a baby's is bigger!

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"You're gonna be a grandma, bitch!"

Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 10:33am.

Good thing she didn't try and bite his dick cause she would have broke her teeth slamming her mouth over nothing. All you'd hear is a clacking sound like those wind up novelty teeth

Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 10:30am.

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 11:38am.

Whamo -- he's 53? Shit, that's scary.

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Ya Twatty, I looked it up because he looked so busted I was thinking man he's not that old is ad came up with this busted ass 53 year old. That's a lot of hard living under those eyes.

Submitted by letinstar on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 10:27am.

i agree with latrice royale...good gawd girl get a grip...

everything about this ginger douche is an ewwwwwww....
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr

Submitted by miz cynical on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 10:27am.

I haven't looked at his peen pics yet, but I know that even with his micro peen that he had the nerve to whore around with that thing. His worn out looking mug is the definition of an anti drug psa.

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 10:23am.

agirl -- it's funny, when I look for t-shirts to wear around the house, I look in the men's department clearance racks at TJ Maxx, and they have tons of Ed Hardy & Affliction stuff; they can't get rid of this shit. I refuse to buy that shit deeply discounted because it's ugly and because I refuse to support the makers of that crap.

Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 10:21am.

LMFAO @ the "Good God Girl Get a Grip" tag. For real, I think I'd rather bite into dog poo.

Aw, that pic of his wittle peen, no wonder he's so angry. :(

Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 10:19am.

Yipes!! hard to believe that he was that cute little kid playing pranks on Reuben Kincaid.
He was one of the better child actors. Chris 2.0 and Tracy were the worst.

Submitted by TOPANGA on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 10:19am.

Slow news day, huh MK? Danny Bonadouchi? Can we talk about that pathetic interview Arnold gave to 60Minutes last night. Wow, talk about heartless denial.
________________
"I was half a virgin when I met him!"

-Mean Girl,Regina George

Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 10:17am.

I used to watch his crazy reality show. I remember one episode he covered the dog, maybe a kid or two also, in grease and took them for a walk in the woods. What kind of freak does that?

Submitted by agirl on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 10:14am.

God, he is amazingly unattractive. And is it any wonder he's wearing Ed Hardy?

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LOLOLOL I noticed the jacket too. It's recommended douchewear!

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 10:08am.

Rande -- someone in the comments on that blog said something to the effect of could you imagine what his peen looks like without an erection? That's his peen WITH an erection? I thought his peen was sticking up because he was moving! Shit, that's one small dick. Those orange pubes are freaking me out, too.

Whamo -- he's 53? Shit, that's scary.

Submitted by 68Special on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 10:03am.

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 11:26am.
Ewwwww! If I were a reanimiated rotting and deranged corps seeking human flesh, I WOULD NOT bite down on DB!

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Rotting and deranged what????

Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 9:58am.

Submitted by guest on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 11:20am.
==========================================
I figured this would be you favorite tune

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJYSu2OVCGM

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 9:57am.

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 11:24am.
Randee, that is one little weenie. But i have to say, i m somewhat fascinated by the orange pubes.

hahaha. He had to have been roided-out then. I thought MK posted about his ween before, but, as the FBI will verify in the future, my search for that topic on Dlisted came up short.

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 9:56am.

Ewwwww! If I were a reanimiated rotting and deranged corps seeking human flesh, I WOULD NOT bite down on DB!

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Submitted by Nanners on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 9:54am.

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 11:21am.
As this blog puts it, "Danny Bonaduce's Creepy Peen":
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The original firecrotch. Shame on me for looking.

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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 9:54am.

Randee, that is one little weenie. But i have to say, i m somewhat fascinated by the orange pubes.

Submitted by Nanners on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 9:52am.

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 11:15am.
And is it any wonder he's wearing Ed Hardy?
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HA! First thing I spotted too.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 9:51am.

As this blog puts it, "Danny Bonaduce's Creepy Peen":

http://katieschwartz.blogspot.com/2007/10/danny-bonaduces-creepy-peen.ht...