And Here’s Adele’s Bond Song

Adele and a Bond song go together like an angora sweater and uncovered nipples and gnats and Mama June’s forklift foot, so naturally they asked her to write and holler out the theme song for Skyfall. A piece of it leaked earlier this week, but here’s the whole thing. Adele sings about a sky falling and other stuff like that. Even though this song isn’t about Bond dumping her ass or leaving her for a ho who is half her age, I still fully expect to hear about grown women choking on the tears trickling into their mouth as they sing out this song in their car while parked in front of their ex-boyfriend’s house. Adele’s voice just has that kind of effect on a bitch. Adele could sing “Get Happy” and it would still end up in everyone’s iTunes playlist labeled “songs to commit su-wee-sides to.” (A Chinese exchange student at my high school pronounced “suicide” as “su-wee-sides” and nobody ever told her otherwise, because it just felt right in the ears.)