Chris Brown Really Thought This Was A Good Idea

Like something out of the worst episode of Taxicab Confessions, a drunk Chris Brown mumbles in a video he tweeted to his followers that he's not trying to be a player or a dog and that he doesn't want to hurt anyone, but he's in love with both RiRi and Karrstablewatercrackers (or whatever her name is). If Chris Brown really didn't want to hurt them, he should down an Ambien and take a long nap on railroad tracks or have his fightin' limbs surgically replaced with extra plush teddy bears.

Never mind that Chris is looking like a tattooed Day of the Dead skeleton on meth, what gets me is that this isn't just some rambling video diary he recorded on his webcam at 4 in the morning. This took some production. They brought out storyboards, had meetings in conference rooms and spent time editing this mess. Professionals probably worked on this crap. Not once did the editor stop, realize what they were doing and then rolled their office chair out of the editing room and kept on rolling, rolling, rolling until they were out the exit door. This is some "True Life: I'm A Colossal Piece Of Trash" shit that'll make you roll backwards until you're far, far away.

And of course, RiRi piped in yesterday too:

Yes, it's nobody's bidness besides you, your baby and your 26 million Twitter followers. Ugh. Will somebody please take away this dumb dumb's medical marijuana card and give it to me?

via USWeekly

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by greeneggs on Sat, 10/06/2012 - 11:52am.

Submitted by fredfred on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 9:55pm.
I'm asking this question in all seriousness: is he slightly retarded?
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Evidently.

Submitted by greeneggs on Sat, 10/06/2012 - 11:51am.

Rhianna is completely damaged--as many of us are. She should get herself some therapy. Pronto. Nothing good is going to come from getting back together with Fist Brown. The sad thing is that she can't see it.

Submitted by Hekki on Sat, 10/06/2012 - 6:45am.

Submitted by Cowjam: "ain't nobody's bidness-'cept the po-po, and the emergency room doctors, and the judge and the DA's..."

Exactly.

Submitted by Gigaboob on Sat, 10/06/2012 - 12:01am.

Submitted by Minkyfoxtail on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 9:27pm.
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Lol yes, good post. He seems to have forgotten parts of his history. And I'm not going to wish harm on Rihanna but statistically she's going down the same road with this guy. If she thinks he's a changed man she might want to re-visit his GMA incident where he threw a chair through a pane of glass. This guy is not going to change and unfortunately, I think, neither is she.

Submitted by Crookedsmile on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 9:30pm.

Wow..this bag of douchery thinks he's DEEP! Like Tupac deep...more like wading pool deep. Seriously both these women are the stupidest ever! Wtf...depressing that people are talking about it and I'm commenting on it lmao!

Submitted by fredfred on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 8:25pm.

I'm asking this question in all seriousness: is he slightly retarded?

co-sign

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watching hardcore ufos

Submitted by Minkyfoxtail on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 7:57pm.

"When you share a history with someone.." I'm sorry, BREEZY (such a fucking fruity name), do you mean "share a criminal past because I beat the living shit out of her?" And Rihanna, you fucking tard, let me know if the second set of blows hurts more or less.
Minkyfoxtailbitchez

Submitted by cheray on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 7:52pm.

If only the editor of that video had something decent to edit. Like a good doco on woman beating idiots. He wasted time and effort cutting and sequencing this utter drivel when he could have put his talents to something interesting. Chris Brown could never love anybody the way he loves himself.

Submitted by Who Datt on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 7:50pm.

These two are starting to make Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen seem like pillars of rectitude and moderation in comparison.

Submitted by meela on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 7:22pm.

Both of these dumb bitches need to eat a dick and die.

Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 6:36pm.

Way produced. And he says he still woves both of them and is all stressed out about life! Poo poo, boo hoo. Looks like an E! true hollywood story. lol

*they probably have another single to ho out...*

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by hamblettamaud on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 5:59pm.

Dumb twat. Are there other words to describe?

(kiss this)--------------------------->>> (_!_)

Submitted by Mani6 on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 5:46pm.

Rihanna should just punch her self in the face a few times now already just to get used to it.

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Submitted by Slutleena on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 5:10pm.

I'm tired of seeing and hearing about both of them.

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"MY FAVORITE CEREAL IS LIFE! AND I GOT IT; AND I LIVED!!!"
Got 2B Real : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRHIwO_tE34&feature=relmfu

Submitted by Wood Dragon on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 4:48pm.

Submitted by Caramel on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 12:56pm.

If it hasn't been said already, they are two lucky, lucky ladies.

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Yes I'm sure the ER Doctor who put Rhianna's face back together was thinking "wow this chick sure is lucky."

Submitted by Emeriesan on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 4:46pm.

This is just sad for Riri. God forbids people remember to 'mind der own bidness' when he beats her ass into a coma.

Submitted by AdaraHeart on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 4:20pm.

What is this fuckery

Submitted by Hood Rat Stuff on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 4:00pm.

*Bidness*
He'll kill her this time.

Submitted by girlfromipanema on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 3:24pm.

Submitted by tinyhands on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 2:51pm.
I hope he beats the shit out of her in puts her ass in Intensive Care.

She deserves it. Keep your personal fucking business to yourself. I don't need to know about your greasy skanky filthy dirty laundry.

Have some class. Oh...right, never had any - never will.
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Way to show how classy you are. She deserves it? Hope she ends up in intensive care? She may be dumb as fuck and has some serious mental/emotional issues, but NO ONE deserves this fucking asshole or his beat downs. You are a sick and twisted individual, just like the piece of shit in this video.

Submitted by KA on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 3:22pm.

these two fucking deserve each other.

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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK

Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 2:47pm.

She's on top of her world now, talking smack about everyone minding their own bidness (which we were until her caved in face was all over the internets and we had no choice but to be in her bidness) but just wait a hot minute when he uses her five head as a punching bag. She's gonna feel as stupid as she looks.

Submitted by oh dave on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 2:41pm.

Girlfriend's name is Jawannarunna Train. I saw this last night but I didn't click because I thought it was some parody.

Fuck him. I just watched this for some reason. He don't wanna hurt either one... How is he hurting Rihanna by humping on some video extra? I think she kind of knows that goes with the whole lifestyle and I don't think she cares. Hopefully, this is all Rihanna's Revenge and she's laughing at this moron.

http://popslave.tumblr.com/

Submitted by mwnole95 on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 2:38pm.

No your momma raised you to beat women. And Rhianna, you're an idiot.

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 2:15pm.

I'm asking this question in all seriousness: is he slightly retarded? I know he's a little buzzed and I wasn't expecting pearls of wisdom to cascade from his mouth hole, but he comes across as a little...challenged in the ol' noggin.

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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by Bunny Rabbit on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 2:14pm.

It's amazing that both of these characters are in their early 20's and such massive narcissitic assholes already. I would think such douchebaggery would take a lifetime to hone. And like I said before, Riri deserves a good beating. I liked her better when she was lesbian.

Submitted by betterthanyomama on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 2:11pm.

Next time he beats the brakes off her ass, I don't want to hear shit about him in the media because clearly, RiRi 'gots this'.

I have boycotted his smug ass since the last ass whoopin' and I'm damn sure not flubberfucken about to watch this piece of shit video now.

Fuck them both.

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Love the Moms in your life. It would suck with out them.

Submitted by WithButterflies on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 2:04pm.

I love how he says his momma raised him differently. Congrats momma, you raised a woman beating asshole! YaY for you!

Submitted by dementa on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 1:43pm.

Submitted by The5thelementof... on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 1:29pm.

I suspect even cave people were more sophisticated in gender politics than these two clowns.

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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by bitchSpray on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 1:43pm.

that video looks fake. just like MichaelK said in that second paragraph, it looks like a staged piece of shit

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 1:41pm.

CHRIST I hate the dumb fucking way he talks. UGH!! When did it become cool to purposefully sound like you're mentally retarded? When I was a kid, the nins at school were always harping at us to E-NUN-CI-ATE and I am glad they did. I can't bear to listen to people who talk this way - it makes me STABBY.

Submitted by italiangal56 on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 1:40pm.

Well, she deserves the next one! People won't feel sorry for her either. What a dumb bitch! He's a dumb bitch too! They deserve each other. She's just repeating the pattern of her father beating her mother (and her too, probably). Instead of doing something posative to break the pattern, she's repeating it. Go smoke some more dope, both of you losers!

Submitted by mefunigirl on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 1:26pm.

What I want is not for Chris or any man to beat her, but for a group of EastLos cholas to beat some sense into her.

you know, the old school way of handling shit.

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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz

Submitted by govt_cheese on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 1:21pm.

We're taking bets over here as to how soon he goes Ike Turner on her stupid a**

Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 1:15pm.

If he wanted to show the "real" chris brown he should have just videotaped a turd floating in the toilet.

Chris brown = shit

Submitted by c-est_moi on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 1:13pm.

If you listen to the lyrics, "Aint Nobody's Business" says it's ok when a man hits a woman:

"I know that she won't call no copper
If she gets beat up by her poppa.
It ain't nobody's business if I do, Lord no.
Well, it ain't nobody's business if I do ..."

Ok, so, Riri, IT'S NOT OK.

Submitted by mefunigirl on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 1:13pm.

My "first born" personality wants to kick her ass and beat her senseless. I have no patience for such foolery.

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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz

Submitted by HockeyMom on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 1:11pm.

Nobody's business? Great! When he whoops your @$$ again, and he will, I will NOT feel sorry you!

Submitted by Lily85 on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 1:04pm.

Submitted by Paquita on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 1:59pm.

Glad we both got out! My ex overdosed. After we broke up he started using drugs and ended up in the hospital. He recovered but he is still an asshole :P

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Wow! My ex overdosed on prescription pills and ended up in the hospital.

I know how you feel. I also never talk about it because it feels so stupid. He is a great person, but very disturbed emotionally.

Anyway, I know I'd rather be alone forever than to have to put up with an abusive relationship again! My life is so much better now! We dodged a bullet! :D

I truly believe that you haven't begun to scoop up all of life's beautiful moments until you've heard the line "Watch the wig!" from a piece while sitting on their face. - MK

Submitted by TrashyWilma on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 12:45pm.

Over it. You're right, Rihanna, it is your business. Now get the fuck out of my face because your desperation to extend your 15 minutes is pathetic.

Submitted by BaconSlut on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 12:44pm.

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."

-Albert Einstein

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Submitted by REDMOND on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 12:39pm.

Riri is so fucking dumb. If it's no one's busniess tell your idiot woman beating bf not to post videos about it on Twitter. She deserves to get the shit beaten out of her for being such a shitty role model for young women.

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 12:33pm.

To add to MJT's point, I'm recalling something someone else said (I think it was Sweetas) about not standing in line for any man, even if you're first. It's far too risky to be with someone who will flip flop and leave you behind because they don't know the first thing about loyalty or love.

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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.

Submitted by sushi on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 12:30pm.

Honestly, if she is that stupid, she deserves to be Nicole Brown Simpson.

Submitted by cake coke and cock on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 12:29pm.

Submitted by Bda on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 1:33pm.
"....Hey the Grammys are coming up again maybe they can do a repeat of 4 years ago?...."

Ya know, I hate that I enjoyed that performance so much. They were both so cute back then. Oh the young and the innocent, the barbed and the wired.

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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.

Submitted by Paquita on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 12:29pm.

Submitted by Lily85 on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 1:53pm.

Glad we both got out! My ex overdosed. After we broke up he started using drugs and ended up in the hospital. He recovered but he is still an asshole :P

I usually never talk about it cause I feel so stupid. He had his good moments but the bad was far more.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!

Submitted by BaconSlut on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 12:25pm.

@Gaslight

LOL I suppose it's a start?

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Submitted by Lily85 on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 12:23pm.

Submitted by Paquita on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 1:12pm.

I was in an abusive relationship. He never touched me but he would throw stuff(not to me)or punch the wall. I would throw shoes. It was awful. I didnt even have to tell my friends or my parents for them to catch on on how unhealthy that relationship was.

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Paquita, I was in the same kind of abusive relationship as you were.

He wouldn't beat me, but he would be mean to me and say awful things to me too. It was really a love and hate relationship and it drove me insane.
Until I decided that I was having none of it anymore and decided to break up after 4 years.

After we broke up he tried to kill himsel and he discovered he was bipolar.

I had to cut all ties with him because he wouldn't let me live my life in peace.

I truly believe that you haven't begun to scoop up all of life's beautiful moments until you've heard the line "Watch the wig!" from a piece while sitting on their face. - MK

Submitted by Thornhill on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 12:20pm.

@Jack...
Went to her house to get her out of the pad
Dumb ho said something that made me mad
She said somethin' that i couldn’t believe
So i grabbed the stupid bitch by her nappy ass weave
She started talkin' shit, wouldn’t you know?
Reached back like a pimp and slapped the ho'

_____________________对您的和平_____________________
It's so cold in the D....

Submitted by Gaslight on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 12:17pm.

Submitted by BaconSlut on Fri, 10/05/2012 - 1:44pm.
If we rub Preparation H on them, will they go away?

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No, but it will reduce the swelling and inflammation!