PROGRAMMING NOTE: It's Moving Day For My Ass
Today is the day I say goodbye to the bodega bitch who always calls me "ma'm" (Not even "miss!" That burns.) and to the family of crackheads who always hang at my old subway stop and once called me a "cheap fag" for giving them a dollar. I will miss them all! So I'm moving out of Brooklyn and making my way back to the land of Angelyne, smog and jorts with UGGs today. I have to stop in Michigan first, because it's always been one of my life goals to take a picture next to an Adopt a Crackhead sign. No, I'm going for family shit... and to take a picture next to an Adopt a Crackhead sign. I'll be in Michigan until Sunday, so now all you Angelen-hos know in advance that a stage 1 trash alert will be issued when my stank ass lands.
Because I'll be busy getting drunk on Hopslam in Michigan and trying to get a car in L.A. (please tell me they still sell Pintos), one of my partners in spreading fuckery, Sweetas, is going to guest blog and help me out until Monday. I'll be back full-time on Tuesday after I wake up from my Hopslam and In-N-Out coma.
And moving would be so much better if I could just throw all my stuff on Liev Schreiber's front box and then jump on that child seat behind him. Take me to the Double Double, Liev!
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red bottom shoes sale
Is it too late to take over your apartment?
Safe travels, MK! Can't wait to read your Smell Ay posts.
That's horrible to trade New York for L.A.! You might disappear like Judith Reagan did.
You should have the bicycle movers, like the ones in the Portlandia sketch, haul your stuff across the country. Safe travels. Can we stay up late, Sweetas?
Submitted by sinjin on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 2:57pm.
Also, Liev, I think dating a "woman" who can fit into a child's seat is a suspicious move.
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Something like that occurred to me, but I was just thinking engineering. They're an odd couple.
Bon voyage, MK! Welcome to Hollywood, baby.
I guess if you're gonna write a blog about cunty celebs, what better place to do it than LA?.
I don't know you MK but you write a funny as fuck blog. Don't go changing...
Safe travels
Xxx
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"We must not look at Goblin men,
We must not buy their fruits,
Who knows upon what soil they fed,
Their hungry, thirsty roots"
Happy trails MK.. here's to hoping the bodega bitch flashes you her penis before you embark.
Take care of yourself and Elvie, MK. Safe travels. We'll be good to Sweetas while you're gone.
xo
Goddammit MK! Those pricks in CA don't deserve your epic Bitchfestness!
Oh wait..... carry on. Knock those bitches off their smug thrones.
Welcome back home, you sexy bitch!!!
Yayyyy....see you on the mean streets of WeHo.
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I'm countin' on Jesus at this point.
Safe travels MK! Congratulations for finally making me jealous of the West Coast.
ROAD TRIP! Have a safe move MK! All the lucky ho's and celebs out there better appreciate! hehee http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jY9xZoKiBgU
Welcome back Sweetass - love when you guest blog too! LOL :P
Mmmm on the Schreiber!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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The east coast will miss you!
Have safe travels, MK. No matter where you're posting from, as long as I have an internet connection, your beautiful, cunty light shines through.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Happy Moving, MK.
When I feel the earth move here in So Cal, I will know it is you.
STANDING BY....
Aw shit!!! I live in Michigan...Where ya gonna be MK? Where ya gonna be?
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LOL @ "cheap fag"! How dare they, hahahaha!
MK, have a safe trip across the country!
Welcome back, Sweetas xoxoxo
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Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.
Submitted by Cat Scratch on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 1:09pm.
He's lived here before, that's why he's coming back.
Welcome home MK!
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Safe and uneventful move MK!
Looking forward to reading you Ms Sweetas, put in your earplugs and let the negative roll off your back. /hands Sweetas a bottle of the good stuff
;-)
MK! Good luck with the move hooker!!
And since you're in Michigan...I know you better make time to stop by Chicago and party! I'll drive to Michigan and pick you up bitch!! Or I have people in Detroit, or Ann Harbor that will drive you over. Make it happen!!! (((♥♥♥♥)))
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Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing. I see him starring at me, I see what he wants be
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>:- (
Mr. Mercury ♥
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 3:01pm.
MK,
Hope you have a safe move to LA. I'm so glad that you'll be a fellow West Coaster. :-)
Sweetas: Look forward to reading your posts!
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Here I thought you were in Canada and you are a neighbor!
Yay, more Sweetass please!
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...the end
you should have given us a heads-up we would have all chipped in a bought you and your pooch first class tickets!. Seriously don't let the damn airlines lose or freeze your pooch in cargo. Safe trip to both of you.
sinin, I bet Michael gives Elvie a Xanax before they leave.
Michael, don't forget to kick that bitch in the crotch bone on the way out of your hood who always asks you for 25 cents or a quarter then calls you a fag.
Bitch.
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Fatburger and Tommy's are better.
Safe travel MK.
MK,
Hope you have a safe move to LA. I'm so glad that you'll be a fellow West Coaster. :-)
Sweetas: Look forward to reading your posts!
I hope Elvie is flying (are they flying?) under MK's seat. I don't trust they'll right by him in the cargo hold!
Also, Lieve, I think dating a "woman" who can fit into a child's seat is a suspicious move. Just sayin'.
Safe travels MK, so happy you're now westside! :D
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Also, when you end a statement with "Kim Kardashian is fabulous," all your previous points are INVALID, because obviously you have lost your damn mind." - MK
Good Luck MK, but promise you won't get lip filler and fake tits.
Too bad you're not in MI next weekend - could of gone to Theatre Bizarre with me!
Good luck with your move MK back to LA!!
But where in Michigan are you visiting? I live here in Michigan bitch!
Be safe!
I'm so sad that you are leaving NY but I wish you the best of luck back in LA! I hope big things find you (penises & entertainment)! Safe travels <3
New York just got less funny, but like I've said, you should be in Hollywood writing sitcoms. I was hoping to run into you in a bar someday. Oh well, maybe you'll have a convention for us when this blog turns 20. Best of luck with your move and safe travels!
Best of luck with the move, MK. I don't think I have ever moved without some sort of disgusting toilet malfunction. Hope everything goes smoothly for you.
Bye MK!!! :'( The East Coast will miss you. <3. Have a safe trip, and happy moving day! :)
Say hi to PP for me. ;)
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
LOVE the Bell's reference!
Can't wait to welcome you to the Holy Land of silicone and lipo! If you ever need to escape the crazies of L.A., just drive north on the 101. We is a little mo downhome in Ventucky. :)
Hahahaha! I had a Double Double for dinner last night (Hubs stopped on the way home from work), for the first time in almost 2 years!! I was baked, and it was DIVINE.
Enjoy your layover in my home state. Try not to get shot.
First growth Chateau Margaux; such a rare wine. Guy has exquisite taste.
Submitted by cripbabe on Thu, 10/11/2012 - 12:17pm.
I got a major case of the bummers that you're leaving for L.A. - seems like everyone's IQ drops 100 points the minute they land there.
That's so true. I remember when Lindsay moved to LA and dropped out of that Rhodes Scholar program.
Don't want to depress you on the eve of your move, but the last two times I ate at In-N-Out I got food poisoning.
Good luck MK. Hope things go smoothly for you:)
safe travels, mk...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
I love you Michael but LA?! They only have one season, all valet parking with no pedestrians, peroxide fumes that probably fogs the view to the Hollywood sign Michael Moore was complaining about, and a ton of extension-wearin', distressed jeans-totin', faux-hawk lovin' homecoming queens and quarterbacks tryna be icons.
The only thing good about LA is it's diners. Otherwise, it's a complete shithole. Move to San Fran, you might run into Noni Ryder and the weather is PERFECT.
You'll get bored, Mister K, you're too smart for that town.
MK, watch out for all the football saturday traffic if you're anywhere near ann arbor! ps. it's cold as shit here right now, bundle up
Safe trip, MK!
Team Sweetas!
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.