Coming Soon: CaCa Water
When some hos made fun of Lady GaGa for gaining a couple of layers of chunk on her body, she started a movement for Not-So-Little Monsters to embrace themselves, or something like that, and now she's really stretching this shit out for maximum attention by selling her own bottle of water. Some source tells the NYDN that while CaCa is dropping the chunk from her body, she wants to add some chunk to her bank account. The Haus of GaGa is currently working on a design for a bottle of "healthy drinking water" that will launch any day now. The source said this:
“Gaga has been at the center of a lot of attention over her weight increase. Losing her weight in such a short time and launching a healthy water drink may be part of a plan. Everyone at Gaga HQ is keeping very tight-lipped. There are plans being prepared for marketing strategies. We know that the water drink is due out in the near future. No one has seen prototypes of the bottle. Gaga water is something that has been in the pipeline for a few months, and now things are really gearing up to an announcement and high-profile launch.”
FINALLY, I'll get to buy a bottle of healthy drinking water (as opposed to unhealthy drinkable water), because I'm so sick of putting my mouth under the faucet to drink healthy drinking water for free. I really want to pay for something I can get for free. Thank God for CaCa.
CaCa's water will be extra special, though. It will have a slight taste of hydrangeas and the bottle will come pre-lubed so you can stick it in your mouth OR you can use it as a butt enema. It's totally going to be reductive and I can't wait to gargle my butt out with CaCa's water.
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What is the flavour of narcissism??
they should bottle freshwater that's been contaminated with antibiotics, antidepressants, birth control hormones, petroleum, nitrates, etc.
Wonderful, all the earth needs now is another fucking plastic bottle for water company! I loathe this hack... Can she just go away??? As for me and my water, I actually invested in one of those big glass jugs to use with my ceramic water dispenser. I am not lazy so I go and fill it at a water hole shop for $1.00,the place uses filters made from coconut husk, best tasting water ever. So clean, refreshing, plus it is like meeting up with your community cause all these people go there to fill up and chat.
Dayum...Madge must be *livid*. Isn't she backing some "healthy" bottled coconut water? It's like that old "SNL" skit where Chris Evert snaps after her rivalry with Martina carries over into an everyday existence filled with oneupmanship:
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1289232115417
If she wants to help people lose weight, she needs to put some coke and meth in the water. Then they can lose weight just like she did!
Excuse my apparent lack of narcissism and egregious greed but when is enough wealth and attention enough for this bitch? And I have the same question for Oprah and most of the 1%. Is your first billion enough while poverty and suffering surrounds you? Is it? No?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I'm good with my 99¢ jug of distilled water thanks
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"that's the first time i had dick in my mouth, and that's the last time i'm going to choke on it.." Dani
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"that's the first time i had dick in my mouth, and that's the last time i'm going to choke on it.." Dani
I assumed that her sudden weight gain was Gaga trying to lay off the cocaine. I also assume that her sudden weight loss, however it is explained in the press, will be because she is back on the marching powder...
BoogerSugar by Lady Gaga for Jenny Craig: "On BoogerSugar by Lady Gaga for Jenny Craig, I could eat this chocolate cake or this friend chicken, but I don't want to. They only think I crave is more fat free, sugar free BoogerSugar!"
Submitted by Bizzarelife on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 5:27pm.
Oh, Twat, I forgot to mention:
Remember when I said my old boss worked in film & media - the producer?
Do you want to know what his first career was?
He used to be a lawyer! HA HA HA HA HA!
You are correct. Vile.
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You know what is even worse? When a lawyer becomes a psychiatrist. Yep, the Devil's right hand man.
Jillian ahhahahahahahahahaa I love Gaga but that water bottle picture made me laugh.
I refuse to give Lady CaCa attention for her weight changes, meh. But her uber-stunt queendom, YES! As for water, hmmm more bottles? HAHA No thanks CaCa, I'll use a filter and refill my glass! ;)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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She is a fugly walking xerox machine.
Anybody who buys this shit deserves to be ripped off.
Straight out of the back faucet at Hous Of Gaga headquarters.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 3:09pm.
Deb, I use a Brita Filter too. And since I live alone, it lasts more than 3 months.
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I've been using PUR filter system for many years. Tastes wonderful, so I never buy any drinking water, except when hurricane approaches and I make storm preparations.
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Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.
Bizarrelife & oceanlover998 -- there was this really ugly, gross lawyer in our firm. They were doing physical exams of the lawyers for insurance purposes. AnyHOO, this fucker was too busy to go to the doctor so the doctor came to his office. He pissed in the cup in front of the doctor. And later on during the exam (his secretary saw this) he removed the bridge he wore from his mouth, it fell down the vents by the window ducts, he dug around in the ducts which are extremely dusty and filled with dust bunnies, found the bridge & he popped it back in his mouth without wiping or rinsing it off.
Bizarrelife -- are you surprised your ex-boss was a lawyer? Lots of former lawyers go into the movie biz. My former boss was in the media area and represented a movie studio and a network, too.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
Oh, Twat, I forgot to mention:
Remember when I said my old boss worked in film & media - the producer?
Do you want to know what his first career was?
He used to be a lawyer! HA HA HA HA HA!
You are correct. Vile.
Wow! I had no idea lawyers were so iccckyyyy....
Ewww.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 4:06pm.
oceanlover998 -- the problem is, most lawyers possess no redeeming physical qualities. I've only met about 20 hot lawyers in my whole life, and out of the 20 hot ones, only 2 of them were decent people (one of them was my ex). Since I'm a chick, I've never met a more unhygienic group of people in my life. Women lawyers never wash their hands -- they're disgusting! They fart, they pick their teeth, their noses, and a few of them keep collections of nail clippings in their desk drawers, I kid you not. I've heard a few keep scab collections as well. And yes, most of these were Ivy League-educated lawyers as well.
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...Ewwwwww....
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...'...It's just a matter of common courtesy...you come in the house, you wipe your wheels!...'...
Submitted by shandi on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 4:16pm.
Can't say I'm a fan of GaGa, but she is NOT chunky in that picture. She is fine and has some curves. She doesn't need to lose weight.
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...perhaps...but I still find her as unattractive as those lawyers to whom Twat Muffin was referring...
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...'...It's just a matter of common courtesy...you come in the house, you wipe your wheels!...'...
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 2:33pm.
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Wish we didn't buy school pics, but son's bio mom (who doesn't pay support or care that he exists) threw a hissy. The pics turned out really bad...don't know how, as they have digital cameras now & could've corrected it..so it was a waste of $30.
Caca's water will probably have some stupid name like "Monster Fluid" or "Mother Monster's Home Brew". It's really sad that none of these bitches are about entertaining anyone..it's all a business enterprise.
Celebrities that lend their name to branding only serve to confirm the impression of narcissism I get about them. I suppose most of them are, in some form, but needing to see your name on a perfume or water bottle when your skill/talent is singing/dancing is puzzling to me.
She must be trying to divert attention from the (i'm assuming) very poor sales of her shitty perfume.
Or better still, filtering the water out of it to repackage it as mineral water.
She gets the Jennifer Lopez award for turning entertainment into a business, and then not being entertaining anymore. Gone are the days when it was about good creative songs and videos. Cum perfume and water.
Submitted by 68Special on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 3:26pm.
And as much as I personally dislike Oprah and her narcissism she is a generous person.
She was name one of America's 50 most generous philanthropists, having given an estimated $303 million as of 2007.
Just because Gaga is a twit, doesn't mean everyone who is successful is stingy, greedy and unfeeling.
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I agree with you but you won't find a lot of other agreement about that here in the comments.
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Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan's Lip on Facebook.
If I had a lot of money, I'd shop, smoke weed, hang out on the beach, smoke weed, travel, shop, smoke some more weed, shop, hang out with my friends constantly and take them shopping, fun stuff. Plus donate to a ton of animal charities. I'm not real complicated.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
Submitted by dorian_graye on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 3:27pm.
Kabbalah water, anyone?
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THAT fucking pretentious bullshit makes me so mad, I want to kick puppies. Vadge and her sorry fucking ass doing that LiveAidII shit, supposed to be for starving people, and this cunt has to have her fucking Kabbalah water. Sorry, no anger directed at you, but Kabbalah water and that cunt make me particularly stabby.
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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
It's her money...she can do whatever she wants with it. I'm just stating that she has more money than god and she could still live comfortably for the rest of her life on much much less. I'm not telling them to get rid of their money but why should I give them more?
The fact is people that with mega mega $$$ that have to brag about how much they donate to charity just look foolish. Obviously they have more so it doesn't hurt as much to donate more...
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...the end
Can't say I'm a fan of GaGa, but she is NOT chunky in that picture. She is fine and has some curves. She doesn't need to lose weight.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Submitted by bambam: "Dear Hekki,
Good weed costs so much nowadays. How can I enjoy the pleasures of some good ganja without breaking my wallet? ;)"
Dear Bambam: good question! Perhaps you can get a dealer to let you "sample" some? Grow your own? Hang out with stoners and ask them to blow smoke in your face? Tell a lonely lady that your tuna pounding skills increase exponentially when you smoke it?
Tojo
If you could make the rules, would you want to have Oprah give 90% of her money away? What would you do with the money?
oceanlover998 -- the problem is, most lawyers possess no redeeming physical qualities. I've only met about 20 hot lawyers in my whole life, and out of the 20 hot ones, only 2 of them were decent people (one of them was my ex). Since I'm a chick, I've never met a more unhygienic group of people in my life. Women lawyers never wash their hands -- they're disgusting! They fart, they pick their teeth, their noses, and a few of them keep collections of nail clippings in their desk drawers, I kid you not. I've heard a few keep scab collections as well. And yes, most of these were Ivy League-educated lawyers as well.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 2:28pm.
There was a dude on NPR the other day talking about successful people and how winning and succeeding actually changes brain chemistry. Successful people actually lose empathy. And the hunger for money increases and is never satisfied.
That's why people like Gaga and Oprah won't take their billions and retire and enjoy it. They literally can't. They're addicts.
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This X1000
I live in the boonies and ironically we pay twice what city dwellers pay for water because we have a private water company. Every month we get a "newsletter" with our bill saying how generous and what a philanthropist our water company's owner is.
No assholes WE are the philanthropists you charge us double and donate half (if that).
Also when people get a little money they think they're on top of the world (they probably have a ethnic maid or two that they boss about endlessly and slip them an extra $20 for christmas thinking they're being sooo generous) and everyone is beneath them as evidenced here in the comments.
And Oprah could donate 90% of her money right now and live comfortably for the rest of her life...
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...the end
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 3:17pm.
oceanlover998 -- bless your daddy's heart, but I can show him a group of the most detestable, homeliest group of people who have ever walked the face of the earth -- no one could find anything attractive about them: lawyers. I worked for them for 20 years and they are the most repugnant beings on the planet. Well, there's a few here & there, but for the most part, they are horribly repellant beings.
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...hey Twat Muffin...I have no doubt the ugly, black hearts of those lawyers overpowered whatever redeeming physical qualities they may have possessed...most lawyers are indeed horrifying human beings...
...although...I knew a tax lawyer on a corporate softball team who was actually a pretty decent guy and a lot of fun...never worked with him tho...
...the poor b***ard married this super-model type who turned out to be more than a little nuts...after several years and a couple of kids she dumped him for a Miami Dolphin and would send the lawyer detailed descriptions of their intimate moments like the Dolphin's girth and length, etc. just to try to torment the guy...he basically laughed it off...not hard to do when you're pulling down tax lawyer mega-cash I guess...
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...'...It's just a matter of common courtesy...you come in the house, you wipe your wheels!...'...
Submitted by oceanlover998 on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 3:03pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 2:23pm.
The cost of bottled Water is one of the biggest ass fucking you'll ever get, people bitch about the price of gas yet somehow don't have a problem paying TWICE the cost for a litre of water. Most of the bottled water you drink is simple tap water ran through a filter, blasted for a few seconds with UV light or as Pushy says reverse osmosis (whatever the heck that entails).
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...totally agree...plus there's BPA in the plastic that disrupts hormones...
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you got it, All you need are those little filters if you want to take the taste out of your water I totally understand that, and I lived in the country with a water softener so I understand wanting non tasting water but again those little filter are all you need.
And the Plastic bottles, freaking right Ocean, bottle water is one of the highest consumable products and there are no regulations in most places as to what it goes in or how it's produced
Submitted by bambam on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 3:35pm.
Why not look at the prosperous and the wealthy with resentment? Who else has benefitted the most over these last 12 years? At the very least, requiring the upper class to do more to contribute to the economy they've profited so greatly from only sounds like right.
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Ok, let's look at it and be factual. The upper class pays more than any other group:
The top 1% pay 22.7% of taxes.
The top 10% pay 50% of taxes.
The top 20% pay 65.3% of taxes.
The top 40% pay 84.3% of taxes.
If it is infused with some adderall she might be on to something.
Why not look at the prosperous and the wealthy with resentment? Who else has benefitted the most over these last 12 years? At the very least, requiring the upper class to do more to contribute to the economy they've profited so greatly from only sounds like right.
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You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?
Call it Gay-Dor-Aide. Everything she comes out with makes men limp wristed and wear bad clothes.
Kabbalah water, anyone?
And as much as I personally dislike Oprah and her narcissism she is a generous person.
She was name one of America's 50 most generous philanthropists, having given an estimated $303 million as of 2007.
Just because Gaga is a twit, doesn't mean everyone who is successful is stingy, greedy and unfeeling.
We have well water and it's wretched even run through an iron filter and a softener. We've had our bottled water time and now we stick with a pitcher. I do flavor my water because even the filtered water tastes weird to me. Probably too many years of "pure" spring water. We'll buy bottled for the road or whatever.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
oceanlover998 -- bless your daddy's heart, but I can show him a group of the most detestable, homeliest group of people who have ever walked the face of the earth -- no one could find anything attractive about them: lawyers. I worked for them for 20 years and they are the most repugnant beings on the planet. Well, there's a few here & there, but for the most part, they are horribly repellant beings.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
If you know anything about the big scam that is the way this world is run, you will understand that the chemical crap they put in tap water is put in there for a reason and none to suit you. So drinking bottle water is an alternative, and u can pick up good mineral water very cheaply.
Deb, I use a Brita Filter too. And since I live alone, it lasts more than 3 months.
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Then we’ll grow up take our clothes off
And you’ll remind me that I wanted you to kiss me
When we find some time alone
And then we can do anything we want
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 2:28pm.
There was a dude on NPR the other day talking about successful people and how winning and succeeding actually changes brain chemistry. Successful people actually lose empathy.
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That may be true for some people who were never inclined to be empathetic to begin with but I have seen and read about many, many people who have given away substantial amounts of their total wealth to set up trusts and charitable foundations such as: Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, William S. Dietrich, Mitt Romney, my neighbors, and so many many more.
So, the Chronicle of Philanthropy comes out with a phony study that is talked about on NPR (which also needs to be privatized. Why are our tax dollars going to this communist propaganda bullshit?)
This fake brain chemistry garbage is just another way to create more class warfare. After watching Obama for the last four years and others with his socialist mindset, that is the centerpiece of their philosophy. Create as much resentment against the prosperous and wealthy. It is the foundation of communism and socialism and it is what is tearing this country apart.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 2:23pm.
The cost of bottled Water is one of the biggest ass fucking you'll ever get, people bitch about the price of gas yet somehow don't have a problem paying TWICE the cost for a litre of water. Most of the bottled water you drink is simple tap water ran through a filter, blasted for a few seconds with UV light or as Pushy says reverse osmosis (whatever the heck that entails).
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...totally agree...plus there's BPA in the plastic that disrupts hormones...
...I stopped buying bottle water a while ago...now I use a 'Zero Water' pitcher that filters out EVERYTHING...the filters are a little pricey but they're still way cheaper than buying bottled...
...my Dad used to say that there's something attractive about everyone...even the seeming homeliest person around...but I have never been able to find Gaga the least bit attractive...in any way...inside or out...especially since she put on the chunk...
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...'...It's just a matter of common courtesy...you come in the house, you wipe your wheels!...'...
How much money does one person need?
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 2:33pm.
Submitted by annobanano on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 2:19pm.
Mentioned this before, but we were at a bar last Dec. and they had $65 bottles of Bling water. WTF.
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LOL!! Bought by rappers that have no sense of the value of a dollar or somehow think pissing money away is cool. I mean BLING water WTF you have to be straight up a fucking MORON of the highest order to pay $65.00 for a bottle of water. There is NOTHING anyone can do to water to justify that cost.
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On a similar note, did anyone see that three hundred dollar hamburger? I forget the exact ingredients but the bun had flecks of gold in it. Or the cocktail that costs a few thousand bucks using centuries old liquors. I bet that crap tastes like turpentine.
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You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?
Submitted by DianaDeath on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 2:53pm.
@Datura but wouldn't that give you coke bref?
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lol. Nothing edgier than coke bref.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 10/18/2012 - 2:23pm.
The cost of bottled Water is one of the biggest ass fucking you'll ever get, people bitch about the price of gas yet somehow don't have a problem paying TWICE the cost for a litre of water. Most of the bottled water you drink is simple tap water ran through a filter, blasted for a few seconds with UV light or as Pushy says reverse osmosis (whatever the heck that entails).
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I'd say 99% of bottled water is municipal water that has been run through a filter. Same with bagged ice that you buy at the stop n rob.
Restaurant water is usually obtained from an offshoot line filtered for the ice machine. Commercial ice machines will gunk up quickly if the water isn't heavily filtered.
Sorry Whamo, that reply wasn't just for you. I just kept typing and typing and typ...