Watch Kristen Stewart Awkwardly Talk About Perfume For Over 15 Minutes
If you've got nothing better to do, like steal a TV from a sports bar bathroom with your brother/fake hump partner or conduct a poll in your office on if you should dress as a slutty corn on the cob or a slutty honey badger for Whore-O-Ween, then spend the next 15+ minutes of your life watching awkward Kristen Stewart being awkward while awkwardly asking awkward questions from her fans about some stupid perfume.
KStew's crazy fans submitted over 5,000 questions about being the face of Balenciaga’s Florabotanica fragrance and Virginie Mouzat asked like 3 of those questions during a live Q&A yesterday. The Q&A was supposed to last 30 minutes, but it was cut short, because the camera dude had a nervous breakdown from watching KStew's restless leg syndrome, restless eye blinking syndrome and restless insufferable twat syndrome in action. If you hit the mute button, this is like watching a bizarre, uncomfortable and strangely elegant intervention between an exquisitely dressed drug counselor and a paint huffer.
If you can't sit through all five minutes of this highly exciting interview, then read Fashionista's highlights:
On being a spokesperson: “I don’t have to lie about liking [the fragrance].”
On other fragrances (she made this point many times–that Florabotanica doesn’t smell “fake and chemically”): They can make you “smell like an old lady and…like fake. I don’t get that from this.”
Her advice for a girl who desperately wants Florabotanica and who’s trying to convince her parents to get it for her: “Be good?”
On how it makes her feel: “Young and mature at the same time. When I wear it I feel older.”
On what movie it reminds her of (she hated this question. A lot.): “Nicolas says Alice in Wonderland.” Virginie: “But what do you think?” [pause] Kristen: “Sorry, but I’m intimidated by this question.”
On learning French: “It’s been a goal of mine, but I’ve been a little, uh, preoccupied.”
The hell are those questions? Why didn't Virginie ask KStew if Florabotanica can be used to cover the scent of the drool droppings your side piece left on your cooter box? Because that's a selling point.
• 
Hmm, not expected at all, but this interview actually makes me like her. Interview lady is a total moron with zero interviewing skills, and anyone who has worked in production will tell you that those "fan questions" that just came flooding in from fans all around the world was an abused fashion industry intern's FML project for the day.
So the fact that she sat there while these hot-off-the-press international questions rolled in without calling the bitch out or shanking her, makes me look at KStew in a totally diff light. I mean, how many fucking ways can she (or anyone) describe fucking perfume? Fuck!
She's awkward as hell. I can't hate her, I really can't. I want to so much, but she's like a prettier, better-dressed version of me at that age — just a massive dork.
She never looks perfect in that fake way so many "starlets" always look. She fucks up in her personal life, in interviews, in the way she presents herself … and she always looks like she can't wait to get home and take off her heels and whatever interview clothes she's wearing and get into her grubbies. I fucking love her.
Please don't hate me. I obviously have some sort of brain disease or malfunction. It's not my fault!
Submitted by LaChaylo on Sat, 10/20/2012 - 10:18am.
... If I'm going to be spokesperson, I'd make sure I'd be on my shit...
--
IKR? "Um... Wait, I'm sorry, what was the question?... I got caught up on India... oh..." *twitch, stammer, twitch* HAHAHAHAHA *what an airhead* Balenciaga, must be overjoyed, at least she looked pretty, if nothing else. lollol
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Fri, 10/19/2012 - 10:17pm.
But why is she even doing interviews about it? She doesnt even have her name on it. If I were her, I'd refuse to do interviews about it.
--
lol me too but I thought they hired KStew as the new face for them. So she has to do it, no? Honestly, those questions were soul crushing and she's too dumb to answer them properly, ie. memorize some standard replies and rephrase them over and over for the promotional spot hahaha
Hi back Wowlie! *waves* ;)
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
You'd think Balenciaga's marketing team would do a better job of prepping her for shit like this. She comes off as a tweaky teenager trying so hard to sound smart and eloquent, all the while failing miserably.
If I'm going to be spokesperson, I'd make sure I'd be on my shit. Not that I have that to worry about.
bitch is shaking so much I think she wanted to take a big piss.
----------------
Drunks as skunks
I lost the will to live at 2 mins 45 seconds.
Life is way too short to listen to that.
Utter shit.
I presume she disappears up her own arse around the 8 minute mark ?
Oh god....she sounds exactly like me in job interviews! CRAP! I get nervous and just...ramble. (Like, y'know.)
Oh sweet jesus christ that was painful (I couldn't watch it all). Asking ANYONE, but especially this smarmy bitch, about promoting perfume makes me want to punch someone lol. I mean ffs, who cares? Really who gives a flying fuck about this shit!
Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 10/19/2012 - 7:44pm.
I'm sorry, but I have to side with KStew on this one. Holy endless boring questions... No wonder this twat was twitching the entire time! lol How much can one say about a fragrance! Jeebus.
The Sexy Banana and Sin City costumes are very cute. ;p
•-•-•-•-•-•
But why is she even doing interviews about it? She doesnt even have her name on it. If I were her, I'd refuse to do interviews about it.
Hi BTW! : )
_________________________
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Either KStew is nervous or she's secretly masturbating by having her leg constantly swinging like that. Or I could care less about anything she has to say and I just want to see her get it on with the interviewer. *daydreams*
............................................
GAWD she has no interview skills. she's been in this game for several years, ffs.
What does this perfume smell like, does anyone know? Like, if I like xxxx perfume, will I like this? Because I have 99,000 bottles of expensive perfume on my dresser and I need more.
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan's Lip on Facebook.
I'm sorry, but I have to side with KStew on this one. Holy endless boring questions... No wonder this twat was twitching the entire time! lol How much can one say about a fragrance! Jeebus.
The Sexy Banana and Sin City costumes are very cute. ;p
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
As I said before - I'm just so team Kristen now. I've done a complete 180 on her. I just love someone that is genuinely that awkward and socially inept. And she knows it too - it's not like she pretends she isn't.
OMG! Just spit out a damn sentence! She rambles on, and on, and on, and on, until she gets cut off.
I tried, but I just can't. Watching her makes me feel like I'm going insane. It's like she is on a constant acid trip and can't get out her words fast enough. It's like her brain and her mouth are completely out of sync. I won't be surprised if she's this generation's Frances Farmer. I know some of the toddlers might have to Wiki that name.
She is the most manufactured, overhyped product in Hollywood today. She is the Katy Perry of weepy hipster folk. I find it repulsive that she is treated as though she is above her own actions. The press fawns over this bleating, blinking, mouth breather. I hope they have been well compensated because it is disturbing to think that adults, presumably college graduates, can find anything laudable about her skills, mannerisms, or conduct.
Submitted by contrario on Fri, 10/19/2012 - 4:00pm.
So it's uniquely American to be able to say a complete sentence without twitching, going "um" or "like," and bouncing your leg around.
That's the nicest criticism I've ever heard of Americans. You just insulted the rest of the world by comparing them to Stewie.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Awkward for sure, but I find her pretty and attractive.
I REALLY don't get it with this chick or why everyone thinks she's so hot. bitch has a little baby mouth and thin-ass lips.
I wouldn't hand her a dollar for a sandwich much less a fancy stank campaign.
@dbella
HA! I love it! Will Ferrel/Magatu is the shit!
@ISprainedMyUvula
Haha! I know, it's like "Rap it up. You're ear fucking me. I feel like my brain is melting. And I mean that in the nicest way possible."
"Cover the scent of drool droppings your side piece left on your cooter box"
Now THAT deserves the Pulitzer Prize...or at the least your own TV show, Michael.
(The people here are so much more cooler than I could ever hope to be)...
What a total fucking inarticulate retard. This dumbass wouldn't last five seconds at a real job.
___________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
It kinda makes sense that someone who has poor hygiene and looks unbathed should have a need for a "fragrance."
oh shit she is so obnoxious! Like she has a mouth full of marbles and an invisible doctor banging on her knee.
Ngl, I'm kinda jealous. Ho is rich as fuck for biting her lip, delivering her dialogues in a monotone and being stoned out of her mind.
Oh, please, like Ms. Armpits wears perfume.
_________________________________
Devil's advocate.
Hmmmm...when she said "I don't have to lie about THAT" and ever-so-briefly widenened her eyes, it made me wonder if she was alluding to the fake-affair-publicity stunt.
And then I wondered why I had just wasted that much thought on a piece of wood and I slapped my own face.
It kills me that I like this perfume....why oh why did they choose her?
That constantly swinging foot is driving me crazy!
Performance Art.
@ME
Oooops! I didn't see the "spooky" part. *blonde moment*
***********************************************
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Fri, 10/19/2012 - 3:41pm.
True. But she's 22 now, and with an extremely limited vocabulary. Of course her target audience is teens, so perhaps this is the shtick she needs. It's just funny how she was more well-spoken when she actually was in her early teens.
Ah well, I guess it could be worse. She could be "indie" and cutesy and "twee" like Zooey Deschanel. I can't fucking stand her. Both her and KStew are (imo) pretty, but they need to start acting their age.
/end rant - more wine/
I watched for 22 seconds, then my stomach became so knotted I actually felt anxious.
This dullard is so inarticulate and unoriginal, I cannot BELIEVE she get paid to represent multimillion dollar companies.
Sickening.
who? When you have to start branding yourself you're done.
"They can make you smell like an old lady and…like fake. I don’t get that from this.”
you just lost the Moms of your young fans who beg their Mommies for the $$$ to buy your phoney baloney parfume
“Young and mature at the same time. When I wear it I feel older.”
HUH? and to nail it, you just lost the rest of fans with that pearl.
so Stewie which is it? the young stud or the old married guy??
``````O_0```````
"We are in Transylvania, and Transylvania is not England."- Dracula
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 10/19/2012 - 3:01pm.
Hallowpeen - I need to dress in a spooky 70's theme for this party I am bartending, I was thinking of going as a murdered Sharon Tate, but then Gina Latina informed me that was the summer of '69.
How about a stabbed to death Sal Mineo. That was in 76??
OOOH! CARRIE!!! I can do that EASY!
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 10/19/2012 - 3:44pm.
Rocky Horror Picture Show?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 10/19/2012 - 3:01pm.
Carrie?
@ME
Slap a porn 'stache and long wig on your melon, attach a male manny head to each shoulder (also with porn 'stashes and long wigs), roll up several huge fake joints and attach them to a neutral-colored body suit and party on as the Doobie Brothers!
***********************************************
" She has no incentive to not be a dick"
^^^
Yes Lisbet and Deb "she has all the poise of a 13 year old"
Hollywood rewards good looking young hipsters with big egos and pretentious manners. She is approaching Michael Bay territory with this interview.
She is a street thug with a pretty face. Perhaps this is what Balenciaga is trying to convey. God knows it will probably sell.
She has the "teen angst" act down: digging under her fingernails, knuckle cracking, eye rolling, hair twisting, foot shaking, constant grimacing and looking away with the sarcastic "yep" and snide laugh. And people around her fall for this "innocent, shy awkward" persona, when really it is pretension and ego.
couldn't watch.
I got as far as "thank you for having me ..."
For some reason watching her in real is even more painful than watching her through Snow White and the Huntsman
Will be watching Twihard part Last though
Must watch the end of worst movie series ever!
~~~ Woosah ~~~~
People have gotten so accustomed to actors robotically answering questions with prefabricated sentences...
that anybody acting differently, like Kristen, is considered "awkward"...
If you are American, when there is a camera around, don't forget to smile, smile, smile...........
Question: Does this perfume make you a pretentious wannabe?
Question: Does this perfume cause you to squirt out monster-vampire Sue babies?
Question: Does this perfume make you act like a socially inept Avril Lavigne?
Question: Does this perfume lobotomize you so you're incapable of putting together a simple sentence?
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
mefungirl - it has to be spooky. So that is why I started down the dead people thought trail.
I didn't watch the entire interview, but I like her voice. She looks very pretty here.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 10/19/2012 - 3:01pm.
ME, are you looking for someone who died in the 70's? or just 70's slutty icons?
Slutty icons could be Crissy from 3's company, or farrah fawcett/charlies angels, daisy (daisy dukes), Bo Derek with the beads from "10"...wasn't lynda Carter wonder woman in the 70's?
or like Twatty said, Linda Lovelace is good,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Submitted by cici on Fri, 10/19/2012 - 3:26pm.
Question: Do you think this pefume is powerful enough to seduce a married man with small children?
---------------------------------------------------
My question is, how can anyone believe that whole affair was true? It was all PR BS.
Submitted by ewe on Fri, 10/19/2012 - 3:32pm.
Also, why hasn't she been sent to a speech/interview coach yet? She speaks (and acts) like a 14-yo and clearly thought she was above the whole interview.
================
She hasn't been sent because she sees no need to do so. The worst bit is that she might have a point.
She's making lots of films and a metric fuckton of money. The H'Wood and Big Fashion insiders love her - the fact that the audiences and customers don't never seems to impinge.
Most of us grow out of her kind of behaviour - or at least manage to smile while we're seething - because the consequences of not doing so are so bad. She has no incentive to not be a dick. She basically stopped maturing in her early to mid teens.