Conor Kennedy Just Wasn't Ready For Love, Marriage, Babies And Waking Up To Heart-Shaped Pancakes Every Morning
iPhones lit up in homeroom and some students had to be pulled out of class for peer counseling (Side note: I was a peer counselor in junior high school, but I only did it so I could pull my chola friend and her boyfriend out of class and let them make-out behind the gym bathrooms while I drew pictures of cats on my notebook. FOREVER ALONE.) yesterday when everybody learned that Taylor Swift was not going to be queen at the Winter Formal this year, because she broke up with Conor Kennedy. Tears fell on a hundred paper bag book covers (that should be the title of a song). Radar says that Taylor and Conor's love didn't end because she realized that being with a dude for more than 2 months is bad for business. It ended, because the crazy bitch is seriously Kennedy-ized.
Some source says that Conor Kennedy is just a typical 18-year-old kid who's desperately, madly, crazy in love as long as his peen is hard. Then when it goes soft, he's back to being bored and wants to play Bad Piggies on his phone while lying on the big sofa in the family rec room. But Taylor is ready for marriage and ready for babies and wants all of those babies to have the last name Kennedy:
"Taylor is obsessed with the Kennedys and was living out a fairytale with Conor. But she was more obsessed with the idea of dating a Kennedy, than the actual Kennedy she was dating. Taylor is love crazy and loves living vicariously through other people's love stories. She sincerely wants to find the person that she is supposed to spend the rest of her life with. But unfortunately, she thinks every man that gives her butterflies is that person."
That last part. Does the source mean that figuratively or literally, because it makes sense both ways. But even though Conor has already gotten over Taylor by making out with the school slut Crystal (they're ALWAYS named Crystal), she's not giving up her Kennedy dreams and is not ready to assassinate Conor in a song just yet. TMZ says that Taylor is still planning to buy her perfect Kennedy Stalking Palace across the street from Ethel Kennedy's house.
Oh, Taylor. Didn't anyone tell her that you shouldn't settle down with a dude who says, "Can you go a little faster, I have pre-cal in 20 minutes," while you're giving him a good morning hand job.
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He is really cute bit who would dare want to be a part of that family.
She has to rethink her career. Look at Alanise Morrisette who was always righting about exes, yeah see what I mean? Her career has tanked too.
Spend some money on therapy Swifty.
Dammit, Conor missed hair flip class again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ts_1z6mCfqU
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Awwww....leave Taylor not-so-Swift aloooooooone *in my Chris Crockery voice*
PS Renee Zellweger called. She wants her squint back.
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"Oh, let me see if there's any fucks stuck under
my nails. Nope. Fresh out of fucks."
He looks like a psychopath and she's desperate... they were perfect for each other. :( lol
"while I drew pictures of cats on my notebook. FOREVER ALONE." *dies* MK, that's hilarious!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by agirl on Fri, 10/26/2012 - 3:36pm.
Writing a song about never ever ever getting back together with someone who has no interest in getting back together with you is a baaaaad sign.
Perfect.
She's such a spiteful, angry shrew she'll probably write a song like "Lee Harvey Oswald Where Are You When I Need You?".
That source actually sounds completely spot on. She definitely takes every relationship, and thus every break up, way too seriously.
Submitted by CuriouserAndCur... on Fri, 10/26/2012 - 2:23pm.
I hate to break it to you, but we are all old. Paper bag book covers are going the way of the dinosaur. My kid came home with a school supply list that specified "book wrap", which is apparently a product that exists to replace brown paper grocery bags. Then she went on to insist that everyone else had book wrap and that making a book cover out of paper bag sounded crazy and impossible.
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I know I am old. Took me forever to figure out what ermagerd means, and gangnam makes no sense to me.
Personally, I think Ethel's endorsement was in hopes of keeping her family's name out of the next album.
Keep up your creepy stalker shtick Taylor, it's entertaining. However, if you want more trophies (BETTER song lyrics), you need to step up your game. The adults around here are getting bored with the teenage dream piss you're spewing.
The fact that she is still going through with buying a neighboring house is fucking creepy. They have court order restraints for shit like that.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
nice pic of taylor...not
Submitted by Message In A Bottle on Fri, 10/26/2012 - 2:28pm.
I sense some "fatal attraction" shit in the future.
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Yes, indeed. Writing a song about never ever ever getting back together with someone who has no interest in getting back together with you is a baaaaad sign. Conor is just the latest guy she has stalked musically and one day she is going to snap for real.
I like how the anonymous source is probably someone close to her, but is saying exactly what us regular douchebags have been thinking about her Kennedy shenanigans.
C&C I'm surprised kids still USE textbooks to begin with in the age of Ipads, laptops and all.
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Also, when you end a statement with "Kim Kardashian is fabulous," all your previous points are INVALID, because obviously you have lost your damn mind." - MK
I sense some "fatal attraction" shit in the future.
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Also, when you end a statement with "Kim Kardashian is fabulous," all your previous points are INVALID, because obviously you have lost your damn mind." - MK
I hate to break it to you, but we are all old. Paper bag book covers are going the way of the dinosaur. My kid came home with a school supply list that specified "book wrap", which is apparently a product that exists to replace brown paper grocery bags. Then she went on to insist that everyone else had book wrap and that making a book cover out of paper bag sounded crazy and impossible.
you cant dump me!!! connor no!! you have to marry me!!
im pregnant! yes thats right, i poked holes in the condoms with a needle and now i pregnant!!
okay im not pregnant! but i will kill myself! i will! look! look! ill jump infront of a bus.
okay okay, fine, but i know all your secrets! i will tell all the girls in your high school that you last 30 seconds!!
omggg connor! dont leave me! i want to be a kennedy!!
afew hours ago i said taylor wanted babies!! and was i right?
yes i was.
how do i know? cuz i designed the shower water and jizz extraction system.
with this system, we are going to pipe the kennedy's plumbing instead into a huge rotating cyclinder, so when connor jerks off in the shower (cuz thats what young men do) we will be able to extract the jizz from the water, bottle it and taylor will be able to turkey base her vajeany and make swift kennedy babies.
Dawn Davenport, that song is HAWT.
STAY TUNED.
Pathetic pop song "You're no Kennedy (Why you so mean ta me?)" to be released in 5... 4... 3...
I can't even wrap my head around being fascinated with the Kennedys, one of the shittiest fucking families on earth.
But unfortunately, she thinks every man that gives her butterflies is that person."
Butterflies or HPV?
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That's a very expensive chardonnay you're not drinking...
Submitted by Dawn Davenport on Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:08pm.
I can almost hear the lyrics now:
"He was a son of Camelot
But all he did was come a lot"
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!
Watch out! TS will probably steal your lyrics & say she originally wrote them on the cover of her Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper!
On topic:
As I posted a couple months ago, what woman in her right mind would want to have sex with an 18-year-old boy? Is bad sex the new black?
"Oh yeah baby, I can go 145 times a night!" Yeah, but who gives a shit when the lady sits down on it & you're Gone in 60 Seconds?
She comes off as desperate and clingy. Not attractive to ANY man, even an 18 year old.
Submitted by ethang on Fri, 10/26/2012 - 11:51am.
That boy has the face of a serial killer.
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He's cousins with Michael Skakel, the pork pie who bludgeoned Martha Moxley with a golf club. (Skakel is Ethel's nephew.)
http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/kennedy-cousin-michael-skakel-den...
"Now he's 18 and will vote for Obama.
Being the Kennedys, so will his dead mama"
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l love a Dickey with floating balls!!
"R.A. Dickey for 2012 NL Cy Young"
Nah....she's keeping the house across the street so she can stalk the shit out of them while she's secretly hoping that Connor will 'come to his senses' and miss her when he sees her sitting at her lemonade stand on the driveway.
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:01pm.
Lollllllllll. No Depeche Mode??
Submitted by Nanners on Fri, 10/26/2012 - 11:27am.
Hooking up with a baby Kennedy didn't work so I predict that she'll try for an older A-list Hollywood type. Put the security guards on alert, Clooney.
I was thinking the same thing yesterday. O.o
Yep, total mega-slut.
dementa, you owe me a beer. Or vice versa.
Jennifer Love Hewitt 2.0. *snorts derisively*
I was trying to puzzle out Ethel Kennedy's wholesale endorsement of Taylor. I think I've got it figured out.
It's etiquette (Her kind will never say a bad word publicly. At the club, after a few cocktails, though...). Or it's psychology and experience.
She also probably figured if she tried to stop it, it would become all Romeo and Juliet and make him more attractive to Taylor. By removing the roadblocks, she made it really boring. Also, Ethel had Taylor's number, and figured Connor would quickly tire of her b.s.
That boy looks like the lead singer of the Fugazi Fugtime Band.
Submitted by REDMOND on Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:25pm.
I know, rite? And here I thought every boy dreamed of marriage and babies the second he graduated from HS!
BTW people have previously mentioned dear ol' Ethel saying nice things aboutTaylor… well, she's a wily old biddy, plus she raised like twenty kids. She probably knows how to go about reverse psychology. If she said she didn't like Conor's relationship, he'd probably stick with Taylor for much longer out of stupid teen rebellion. She says she adores Taylor, and the bloom is off the rose that much quicker.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
So no more silly, vapid songs about her angst (at least because of Jake G)....?
"So much gushed from that boy's dick
It was like I was drowning at Chappaquidick!"
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l love a Dickey with floating balls!!
"R.A. Dickey for 2012 NL Cy Young"
Submitted by ethang on Fri, 10/26/2012 - 11:51am.
Well he IS a Kennedy.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Ugh. This bitch is so stupid. Poor Taylor Swift-Kennedy, it's such a shock that a Sr. in high school doesn't want to get married and start breeding ASAP.
She is such a creeper for buying that house near them. I hope they all fucking shun her.
"But unfortunately, she thinks every man that gives her butterflies is that person."
I effing hate this mentality, but it's partly inflicted on young girls by society, tleling them that they should only lust after The One. So when they start feeling sexual things, they assume that guy must be The One. Nobody will fucking tell them that, "No, it's perfectly natural to feel that way, and it doesn't mean anything."
And I blame Twilight for perpetuating this idea. And I totally think that one of the reasons for the breakup is that Taylor tried to get Conor to roleplay it with her.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Dawn
Ah! the theme song for all the Kennedy men.......
I can almost hear the lyrics now:
"He was a son of Camelot
But all he did was come a lot"
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l love a Dickey with floating balls!!
"R.A. Dickey for 2012 NL Cy Young"
LOL @ MK as a peer counselor, I totally read that as PEEN counselor!
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l love a Dickey with floating balls!!
"R.A. Dickey for 2012 NL Cy Young"
Submitted by cocoebert on Fri, 10/26/2012 - 11:53am.
I love how BabyDaddy's post and guest's post are right next to each other in this thread. lol
^^^^^^^
lol Yes, what are the chances of a pre-clad KK ass being immediately followed by a clad KK ass?
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"Physical violence is the least of my priorities." - Drunken Albertan
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:01pm.
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I'm listening to Kraftwerk The Man Machine
Old School Baby
*does robot winks at the ladies*
She seems legit crazypants. 22 is too old and she's been through too many dudes to still have this "Prince Charming is right around the corner!" mentality. Even if she found the perfect guy, she'd probably drive him away.
Check out film reviews and more at www.amandalovesmovies.com
Cue the Kennedys putting new locks on all of their windows and doors so Taylor doesn't snatch any more of their babies.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Rande, right now I am listening to My Chemical Romance because their lyrics speak to my anguish. I'm also wearing copious amounts of black eyeliner. I honestly haven't been this brooding and emo since KStew cheated on Rob.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Fri, 10/26/2012 - 11:56am.
I am devastated. Simply inconsolable. I thought these two were the real deal.
Perhaps penning some brooding poetry would make things better?
WE NEED NEW PEOPLE TO LAUGH AT, I'M BORED OF THE SAME OLE SAME OLE!!!!!
MK WE LOVE YA BUT WE NEED SOME NEW BITCHES!