OctoMom Is In Rehab

I know, that's White Oprah's trademarked parenting technique. LAWSUIT!

Anybody who has seen an OctoMom interview isn't surprised that she's hooked on Xanax (and possibly delicious vodka), because the crazy bitch talks like her brain just exploded and all the thoughts are pouring out of her mouth hole at once. TMZ says that OctoMom traded in her addiction to IVF for an addiction to pills and now she's sitting in a Southern California rehab clinic to control her thirst for Xanax. OctoMom's rep tells TMZ that she checked into Chapman House Rehabilitation Center over the weekend and left her entire child army with 3 nannies, 2 friends and 1 driver. Those 6 tortured souls will take care of OctoMom's tribe of 14 chirruns while she's dealing with some shit for the next 30 days. OctoMom's rep said this:

"Nadya wanted to get off the Xanax she was prescribed by her doctor and learn to deal with her stress, exhaustion and anxiety with professional help with a team of doctors. Nadya wanted to deal with her issues and make sure she is the best mother she can be.”

OctoMom's rep said that the rehab clinic is taking care of the bill even though she wanted to use some of her fap porn money to pay for it.

One of Octo's former nannies, Gina B, tells Radar that Xanax isn't her only mind number of choice. Gina says that Octo regularly guzzled from a water bottle filled with vodka and cranberry juice. Gina hasn't ever seen Octo drive the child army around while she's seven kinds of plastered, but Gina has heard stories about people stopping Octo from driving drunk.

OctoMom's head is permanently pregnant with the crazy, but in her defense, if I had 14 screeching brats crawling all over me and begging for food all the time, I'd be fucked up on more than just Xanax. I don't condone shooting heroin directly into your skull, but I do condone it if you have 14 kids to take care of on a fap porn star salary. I know OctoMom did this to herself and Child Protective Services should probably just call it a day by selling all of her kids in a Going Out of Business Sale, but it's a miracle that she's still lucid enough to know that the best way to skip out on all your responsibilities is to get an addiction to Xanax so you can take an all-expenses paid VACATION! Bitch still has one sanity cell left in her brain (no, she doesn't).

Posted by: Michael K

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OctoMom • Rehab

Submitted by Datura on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:41am.

Submitted by sinjin on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 1:05pm.
Submitted by OXA :

CPS is waiting for a dead kid to show up before they act on the kids behalf.

Take away the 8 permanently while they are still young & undamaged enough to have a chance of a normal life.
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Agreed. However, according to reports, one of her oldest is already sexually abusing the younger ones, so damage is already being done. Octo is in denial. Of course. I know some folks here have advocated for her keeping her kids at all costs rather than having them adopted out. I disagree. Giving those kids a shot at normalcy will give them a better shot at blending into society rather than getting more Octos when they're old enough to breed.
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I agree with you. Someone usually argues that it would be cruel to split up the kids, but I don't think so. I'd rather have a clean, safe place to live with guardians who can give me one-on-one attention than to have to share limited resources with 13 nearly feral children all the time. I don't think anyone can truly prosper with so many other children fighting for attention, even those creepy Duggars.

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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls

Submitted by dementa on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:40am.

Maybe while Mommy's gone, somebody will actually do some parenting of her kids.

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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by annobanano on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:40am.

@ sinjin - and the oldest kid was probably sexually abused by a family member or caregiver. A vicious fucking cycle.

Submitted by christine the hoff on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:38am.

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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 1:06pm.
Hoffalina, you got help. be proud of that.

xoxoxo

you are a sweetheart, as always but the truth is, I spend three months in jail first.
I guess maybe I better go because I'm a bummer today. but yes, it did help. sigh.

"The stars shone. The gate creaked.The air was fresh."

Submitted by Hairy Back Mary on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:37am.

If she'd taken the Xanax in the first place, she probably wouldn't have tried to medicate her issues with all those crotch fruit distractions.

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:37am.

CPS went to the KARDASHIAN house after it was reported that Kendall and Kylie were being abused/neglected. But THIS they leave alone.

Makes perfect sense.

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It's all right - I think we're gonna make it
I think it might work out fine this time.
It's all right - I think we're gonna make
I think it might just work out

Submitted by christine the hoff on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:37am.

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Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 1:04pm

I was the only fucking alkie in there, hard to believe, I know. the latest shit is crack, horse and bath salts. it was fucking heartbreaking. I mean, I've lived my life. these girls haven't even started.
it was a real wakeup call. I still love to come to dlisted and laugh with you all my friends, but lets just say some stuff is no longer funny.

"The stars shone. The gate creaked.The air was fresh."

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:36am.

Hoffalina, you got help. be proud of that.

xoxoxo

Whamo, my Man and I recently got back together....I have this song in my head a lot. And I love Christopher Cross! He has a few great songs!!!

Submitted by sinjin on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:35am.

Submitted by OXA :

CPS is waiting for a dead kid to show up before they act on the kids behalf.

Take away the 8 permanently while they are still young & undamaged enough to have a chance of a normal life.
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Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:34am.

Submitted by christine the hoff on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 1:00pm.

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Last i was in rehab ( the second time, yeah) I was in with nineteen year olds who had herion felonies.
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well power to you Hoffer, Opiates are a mean mutherfkin mistress no doubt and I feel for anyone that's trying to get off that train.

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:31am.

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 12:54pm.
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Christopher Cross..lol :P

*Side eyes PSL starts singing theme from Arthur*

Submitted by tonicbitch on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:31am.

Twatty I have no idea why CPS is dragging their feet on this. I know people who have had Social Services breathing down their neck for far lesser sins. Different state, but still. Maybe they just don't want to deal with placing that many kids? idk.

Submitted by christine the hoff on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:30am.

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Last i was in rehab ( the second time, yeah) I was in with nineteen year olds who had herion felonies.
so forgive me if this just isn't funny anymore.
and when I comes to having kids, a lot of us made fucked up choices ( maybe not this bad ) but we just didn't know at the time.
I have accidently dragged my kids though hell and I would probably do it again if I could go back.
yeah, I know. but there you have it.

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"The stars shone. The gate creaked.The air was fresh."

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:28am.

Submitted by annobanano on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 12:52pm.

@ mike - For real. I'd have downed the whole bottle, tied a plastic bag over my head, and gone swimming.

And a swan dive off a 10 story building.

After lighting myself on fire

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:24am.

I am really shocked by the news.

riiiiiiiiiiiight.

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:24am.

And again, someone is giving her a freebie (the rehab clinic). Fucking cunt. Why don't they take all the kids away from her and just be done with it? They just keep postponing the inevitable.

Lucifer -- hey, babe! <3

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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"

Submitted by annobanano on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:22am.

@ mike - For real. I'd have downed the whole bottle, tied a plastic bag over my head, and gone swimming.

And a swan dive off a 10 story building.

Submitted by OXA on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:20am.

CPS is waiting for a dead kid to show up before they act on the kids behalf.

Take away the 8 permanently while they are still young & undamaged enough to have a chance of a normal life.

Submitted by mike on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:19am.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 12:42pm.
with all those fucking kids who would blame her being hooked on xanax!? poor life choices (aka having a belly full of kids)

For real. I'd have downed the whole bottle, tied a plastic bag over my head, and gone swimming.

Submitted by Stan Hooper on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:19am.

I would be guzzling Xanax by the gallons if I had to deal with all those freaking kids! She should have addicted to dresses than babies. She would be looking fabulosly dressed like me right now.

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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie

Submitted by tonicbitch on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:19am.

I can't even muster up any scorn. Those poor kids.

Submitted by DiamondDogs on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:16am.

It seems that she can keep her kids no matter what she does. SMDH

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 11:14am.

Lol that picture is perfect, you just KNOW that's what going on when mommy needs her Xanax time to relax and let her pussy cool down after a hard days hammering.

I guess she getting help anyway but the PORN industry ain't the best at staying sober I can't imagine so I don't know what she's going to do once she gets out.