It's Like John Travolta And Tiger Woods All Over Again

Most of us haven't been able to fully enjoy a double glazed donut after reading story after story about how John Travolta's slobbery dough hole tried to gobble up any and ever man finger that came near it. And now here's something that might keep you off of Chick-O-Sticks for a while.

Papa Joe Simpson hasn't officially "come out" (and he doesn't need to when he's walking around in outfits like this), but The National Enquirer is still pouring all of his (alleged) secrets out on the internet. Bryce Chandler Hill apparently wasn't the only pretty-faced twink that Papa Joe was rolling around naked with. A high-priced escort named Joey Anderson (Side note: Click here for his Daddy Reviews page and yes, I just spent 20 minutes of my time looking for a review that read, "And he even complimented me on the highlights in my pubes!") ran off to the Enquirer to tell them about the night in May when Papa Joe paid him $600 for a little quality time at the Mandarin Oriental in NYC. Because a getting a cashiers check from The National Enquirer is more important than not breaking the ho code, Joey Anderson told all:

"Over the course of two hours or so, we rolled around, kissed and gave each other oral. We'd take breathers and then start up all over again. He seemed to have an insatiable appetite for sex and never really appeared tired. I didn’t let on that I knew his real identity, and he never mentioned anything about Jessica or his family. I’ve been with a lot of men in my life, and by Joe’s actions that night, he’s gay.

Whatever the case, I'm probably not the only one. After being a family man, and a religious one to boot, for all these years, I'm sure he's out sowing his wild oats with a bunch of boys. Joe has lived a lifetime of deceit regarding his sexuality. Before the dust settles, I wouldn't be surprised to hear about a lot more guys coming forward."

In other Sugar Daddy Joe news, Radar says that Tina Simpson found out that her husband was gargling on twink peen when she found modeling pictures of Bryce in her house and later pried a confession out of Joe in the lobby of his NYC hotel. Tina also knew that something in the milk was twink cream when she noticed that hundreds of thousands of dollars went missing from her checking account. The source says Papa Joe pulled that money out to make it rain fancy gifts on Bryce.

Papa Joe really does have a type. If your body is empty of hair, you smell like strawberry lip gloss and you've got a premium flippin' mane, then Papa Joe wants you. Some of you have already been through enough this week, so instead of picturing Joey's luscious unicorn mane falling all over Pastor Joe's gut as they get into some beej time fun, just picture them reading scriptures to each other in that hotel room. Actually, don't, because the latter image is more terrifying.

Posted by: Michael K

•

Papa Joe • Why Are You Doing This To Us?

Submitted by xxxx on Wed, 11/07/2012 - 10:30pm.

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Submitted by ProfessorVP on Thu, 11/01/2012 - 10:03am.

"complimented me for the highlights in my pubes"
????? WTF!

What would he use if he started getting bald there? Blowgaine?

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 11/01/2012 - 8:29am.

"Over the course of two hours or so, we rolled around, kissed and gave each other oral...."

"I’ve been with a lot of men in my life, and by Joe’s actions that night, he’s gay."
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Captain fucking observant right here....

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"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012

"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers

Submitted by A__________Z on Thu, 11/01/2012 - 5:06am.

I feel so bad for Ashlee and Jessica right now. And I agree Pimpa Joe probably went after Pete Wentz. Those girls had truth presented to them all their life when lies were in their face. Their poor Mom too. So, having said that, is Romo gay???

Submitted by tojo on Thu, 11/01/2012 - 4:58am.

Submitted by MrsPotatoHead on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 2:52pm.
Swear to God, when I first looked at Joey's picture, I thought it was Brad dressed as Angie Jo for Halloween.

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Gah! I thought Shiloh finally came out!

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...the end

Submitted by Mel-Tang on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 10:23pm.

He is disgusting for lying to his family all of these years. You don't do that. Ugh.

That guy looks like Victoria Justice with a stache.

* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *

www.poopreport.com :)

<3-------------------------------<3

RIMADYL KILLS

Submitted by Gingah on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 10:14pm.

Ken Paves looks like he falls into that type.

Submitted by christine the hoff on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 10:12pm.

I wouldn't let him fuck my dog. The dog's a purebred. can't have that.

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"The stars shone. The gate creaked.The air was fresh."

Submitted by loopygorilla on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 9:40pm.

what the what the what the.
$3,500 FOR THAT SCRAWNY ASS?!!
he is nothing but a bag of bones with no body at all, clearly guys who buy that service wanna fuck corpses.
and for reals?! $3,500???? what can do he that a $20 hooker cant? $3,500??? do you get a gift bag? a dvd? or something? a bag of lollies?

Submitted by literarylioness on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 9:37pm.

It's kind of cliché to have another closeted gay Baptist minster though. It's been done before. I wonder if Joel Olsteen will ever come out of the closet.

Submitted by Scott in NYC on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 9:33pm.

I personally think that people's sex lives can be as freaky and secretive and wild as they want....but, for fuck sake, Papa Joe, don't stick a whore's dick in your mouth. Who knows how many cornholes and old man mouths that thing has plunged.

Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 9:17pm.

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 9:55pm.
Joey looks like Leon Russell c. 1973
_________________________________________________
Lol, good call Rande, you're bang on with that one!

Submitted by Gobbler on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 9:04pm.

Submitted by Karen Flatts on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 8:44pm.

The Amazing Kreskins around here are just phenomenal. There are so many of you who KNEW Joe was gay, yet for 10-15 years you were all actually convinced he was a fucking pedophile.
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Have to agree with Flatts on this one. HOWEVER, I am calling it right now: Katy Perry's dad likes the peen.

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 8:56pm.

Ok, i dared to read the Daddy Review site and i feel like i entered a whole new world. The customers talk about "he is so romantic, sensual, attentive" NO SHIT, SHERLOCK, you just paid the fucker 3 Grand, of course he is going to put on the show of a lifetime. The way they talk about Mr. Prostitute is like he is a fucking "date." "I cant wait to see him again." JFC. Talk about being able to make yourself believe he is really enjoying sucking off old balding married men. And I hope these nasty assholes use condoms. Shit like that, gay or straight, is so fucking irresponsible, its not even funny.

Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 8:50pm.

Submitted by dementa: "The more I hear about Papa Joe and his personal preferences (small-boned, skinny, femmy), the more I think he fucked Asslee's ex-husband."

and

"Sadly this d-bag seems to think that declaring he's gay means his wife isn't his concern anymore, and he shouldn't have to pay her anything. He's scum."

Dementa, I've been agreeing with you on everything lately! Sorry to be stalking your comments, but great minds and all that... You really nailed what these guys do when they suddenly come out. "Not his concern anymore" is exactly IT.

As a wife, that pisses me off. And it'd be no better if a woman did that to her husband, BTW.

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 8:25pm.

Joey looks like Leon Russell c. 1973, but without any musical skills. Or any skills 'cept dick-sucking.

It would burn me if my long-time hubs and the father of my kids turned gay. Not because he turned gay, but because it implies the whole marriage was a fraud and my role as wife was a factor. It would really burn me if he turned gay and started fucking men without telling me, while still boning me as well.

Still, in some large percentage of such cases, I swear the wife knows about it long before it's common knowledge. She's just in denial.

Submitted by babybunny on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 8:23pm.

Just read his Daddy Reviews, all I can say I hope he uses protection all his clients sound like fat old married men bringing possible std's home to,the wife, and some are also fathers??? WTF??? Just come out of the damn closet, why torture your wife and kids with the double life...and btw escorts will talk for the right price, that much is obvious

Submitted by oceanlover998 on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 7:57pm.

Submitted by lameatman on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 4:53pm.

As Joan Crawford said , " I should have known he'd know where to find the booze AND the boys !"
________________________________________________

...bahahaha...great scene...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkqfXTB5Pdw

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...'...It's just a matter of common courtesy...you come in the house, you wipe your wheels!...'...

Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 7:46pm.

Submitted by Bizzarelife on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 5:40pm.
I wish that being gay was accepted wholeheartedly by everyone (as it should be). It would be a wonderful world if everyone could just live their lives in the best way possible. If you like dudes, then be with dudes. If you like women, be with women. Whatever. Being happy is the best thing.

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I wholeheartedly agree. I feel bad or Joe if this is true.

_________________________

The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 7:38pm.

I'm kinda loving the Papa Joe gay scandal...I can't help it. I hope the Enquirer continues to shake the twink tree and more fruit falls out. It's like a soap opera. I didn't see THE GHEY in Papa Joe, I really didn't so this is FASCINATING to me.

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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by Fujicat on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 7:30pm.

I do not buy the "poor Tina Simpson" schtick for one hot minute. She's as much of an opportunist and participant in this grand scheme as her husband. She played the game. She'll get paid and will move on. She HAD to have known and kept quiet. How long she knew and didn't say is the question.

I had a thought/flash when I read this post. Back on Asslee's MTV show, she had a "boyfriend," Ryan Cabrerra (subject of old D posts, as I recall, at the time). He lived in the Simpson house, and was very young, cute and supple--definitely Joe's apparent "type." It wouldn't surprise me one bit if the reason for his being there was to serve as J.S.'s sex toy. The payout for "services rendered" was fame courtesy Papa Joe.

These people are evil.

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Fair is foul and foul is fair..

Submitted by nunya_bizness on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 7:23pm.

I seriously thought that was Angelina Jolie's Halloween costume.

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Be intrigued, be interested. DON'T be stupid.---TheBreakdown

Submitted by Karen Flatts on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 7:14pm.

The Amazing Kreskins around here are just phenomenal. There are so many of you who KNEW Joe was gay, yet for 10-15 years you were all actually convinced he was a fucking pedophile. Might I remind you homosexuality and pedophilia are two different conditions?

Whether the child was female or male in this situation means nothing other than... a bunch of morons making things up for their own gain. I see no apologies to the man from those of you accusing him of raping his daughter.

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Submitted by Meatblocks on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 10:17am.
it ain't awesome until flatts shits on it.

Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt

Submitted by contrario on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 7:09pm.

It's not hard to guess that, among Joey's clients, Joe is probably one of the most attractive ones.

Submitted by PYT on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 6:33pm.

Gosh, I'm dense. It took me several minutes to figure out what Ratte (time): 225 in. 250 out. 1000 overnight meant. I thought It wa referring to his stroke rate per min or something. 225 in/ 250 out and 1000 strokes per night.

Submitted by Bizzarelife on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 6:19pm.

@dementa:

I agree with you 100%. He is still responsible for cleaning up this mess. He needs to understand that he cannot just leave his wife in the lurch. They did have two kids together...

Submitted by Who Datt on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 6:33pm.

Papa Joe certainly has a type, don't he? This dude looks like the Breck Girl with a goatee

Couldn't he have chosen more discreet pieces? I thought hoes weren't supposed to spread-and-tell?

Submitted by NeverEclipsed on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 6:04pm.

Now I realize Papa Joe orchestrated all this so he could come out of the closet and have sex with HOT MEN. His twinkies are disgusting, he had to pay that gross hippie?

Submitted by swarm-of-locusts on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 5:13pm.

The tea being spilled on Joe Simpson is, like, some super-secret Asian blend that you would only be served at the gates of a monastery every 50 years. Fucking amazing stealth trickin' stuff!. Also, always have a separate bank account. Love, marriage, trust, whatever. My great-great grandmother always said you always keep your own accounts on the side in case you need to leave in a hurry.

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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami

Submitted by dementa on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 5:10pm.

The more I hear about Papa Joe and his personal preferences (small-boned, skinny, femmy), the more I think he fucked Asslee's ex-husband.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by dementa on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 5:07pm.

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 3:26pm.

With lots and lots of sauce, gravy, meat and "potatoes."

Submitted by Bizzarelife on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 5:40pm.

Sadly this d-bag seems to think that declaring he's gay means his wife isn't his concern anymore, and he shouldn't have to pay her anything. He's scum.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by jaariel on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 5:01pm.

The one on the right looks like a hot Demi Moore

Thunder only happens when it's rainin
Players only love you when they're playin

Submitted by charlie loves tiger on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 4:59pm.

ok, maybe i am just naive and stupid, but how does this happen? how does a guy who was a baptist minister and so religiously oriented and have a wife a long time with a family all of a sudden throw this switch? maybe he was always gay and hiding behind religion and family and didnt even consciously acknowledge it himself. whatever it is, it is definitely ok, but has to be a shock to his wife and kids.

Submitted by oh dave on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 4:35pm.

Brad Pitt as Lindsay Lohan realness!

http://13-mitred-abbots.tumblr.com/

Submitted by Bizzarelife on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 4:10pm.

I wish that being gay was accepted wholeheartedly by everyone (as it should be). It would be a wonderful world if everyone could just live their lives in the best way possible. If you like dudes, then be with dudes. If you like women, be with women. Whatever. Being happy is the best thing.

Now, he had to hide this...and it comes out in this way. The wife must be feeling pretty awful. I would be really hurt if I found out my husband was cheating - man or woman. I think it hurts a little more to know it was another man, just because he is lying about two things (his sexuality and his faithfulness).

Hopefully, the dust will settle, and he can go live the life he wants. He better give the wife what she wants. Do it quickly - so all this can be over.

Submitted by saltydog on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 4:01pm.

i hope that whores reviews go way down for ratting out a client.

Submitted by joe shmoe on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 3:44pm.

Submitted by oceanlover998 on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 4:55pm.

...I don't know if anyone else has commented on this yet, but I'm getting an Ashlee Simpson vibe from this one....Ewwwwww...
*****

*squeal*!!! I posted that last week about the other little twinkie he was kissin on.

Great minds an all ;)

************

Submitted by oceanlover998 on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 3:25pm.

...I don't know if anyone else has commented on this yet, but I'm getting an Ashlee Simpson vibe from this one....Ewwwwww...

...really feel sorry for the wife...he let the other twink into the house for photo sessions when she wasn't there and then she found the photos...yikes...

...this is an awful lifetime cautionary movie just waiting to happen...

________________________________________________
...'...It's just a matter of common courtesy...you come in the house, you wipe your wheels!...'...

Submitted by lameatman on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 3:23pm.

As Joan Crawford said , " I should have known he'd know where to find the booze AND the boys !"

Submitted by miz cynical on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 3:22pm.

Cashew - thanks! So, it's kinda like a sword fight? Dry humping? Ok.

Hekki - yeah, I remember the McGreevey scandal! Mainly 'cause it was somewhat local for me and the wife was interviewed by the local paper. Dina claimed that she wasn't told until minutes before the press conference. Like, she was called into his office, told by him that he was gay, and then shoved before a press conference which is why she had the glazed expression. She also claimed that she didn't have any clues prior to that day. I'm always curious about women like her and the author that wrote How Stella Got Her Groove Back, and other women that are married to men on the down low. Such a shame.

The author of How Stella Got Her Groove Back was on the Today show when the story broke and the ex-husband was suing her for money that she made from the book/movie. Katie Couric asked her some stupid ass question and luckily for Katie, the interview was via satellite, 'cause I think she was about to come across the screen and choke the shit out of Katie. She was truly deceived by the hubby. I think he used her for a green card. And PISSED.

Submitted by Cookie_Monster_ on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 3:14pm.

What a disgusting thing to know about your husband. And for the daughters, to know they were created in the way they were supposed to..their father being one and together in unison with their mother.

Only to learn he's been riding up Hershey highway and using his body for what it was not intended. How pathetic.

Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 3:12pm.

Stefystef: the McGreevey thing was quite the scandal. There was speculation that Dina knew. I can almost buy it. But denial is a helluva drug.

My heart goes out to Tina. She's got a rough road.

Joe should give her half, out of sheer gratitude but it looks like he's gonna be a cock about it. I hope she takes him to the cleaners.

Submitted by stefystef on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 3:06pm.

Obviously, he's going through a mid-life crisis.
I feel sorry for the wife.

Reminds me of the governor or New Jersey, who came out the closet with the poor wife standing there like she was on the best pills of all time to keep her from ripping his head off.

Well, at least he doesn't have to hide anymore. And he'll still get Jessica and her sister's money. A rich gay man? Hell, Michael K, you need to hook up with that!!! *LOL*
______________________________________________________________
"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12

Submitted by Jeanneee on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 3:03pm.

Looks like Maria Menounos skipped a couple of waxing appointments!

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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11

Submitted by justincase on Wed, 10/31/2012 - 2:51pm.

He is shifty par excellence and therefore I hope Tina takes her half plus. Even if he weren't a "Christian" and a "preacher" he would still get a supreme hypocrite rating for his boo-hoo-me act.