Courtney Stodden's Relationship Advice To A 14-Year-Old
14-year-old Ariel Winter, who plays the daughter with the glasses on Modern Family, is now living with her older sister after she told the court her mother Chrystal Workman verbally, physically and emotionally abused her. Chrystal Workman denies abusing her daughter and she says her daughter only called CPS on her ass after she tried to put an end to Ariel's relationship with 18-year-old Cameron Palatas. Chrystal says she caught Ariel and Cameron in bed together and told her daughter she couldn't see him again, but when the illegal foolery continued, she filed statutory rape charges against him. I know, none of us know what to think about this mess, but thankfully we have the wise porn iguana that is Courtney Stodden to guide our thoughts for us. Radar went up to Courtney's advice booth and asked her what she thinks about 14-year-old Ariel dating an 18-year-old dude.
Courtney isn't a licensed therapist and has bleached iguana dingles for brains, but we should still listen to what she has to say because she's rill, rill wise like that. Courtney didn't know who Ariel was at first, so her keeper Doug Hutchison had to tell her and then she spat this up:
"I think it's awesome! As long as they're in love, it's okay. They should get married!"
I know that whenever I need relationship advice, I try to get it from an 18-year-old factory defected Frederick's of Hollywood mannequin who is possessed by the spirit of a lizard demon and calls her 51-year-old creepster husband "daddy." When Courtney Stodden says she approves of your relationship, that's your cue to un-friend your boyfriend on Facebook, erase all traces of him from your iPhone and pay a mind-erasing hypnotist thousands of dollars to scrub every memory of him from the crevices of your brain. Do take fashion, make-up and plastic surgery advice from Courtney, but don't take relationship advice from that mess. Go to bed, Courtney, and by bed, I mean JAIL!
And let's not ask Courtney what she thinks about Elmo getting it on with a 16-year-old. We've already been through enough today.
UPDATE: And here's Courtney, her pimp mom and her mutant foreskin of a husband at some event in Downtown L.A. last night. This is why you should always take fashion, make-up and plastic surgery advice from Courtney. The clear bra straps, the baby powder make-up, the melting face, the exquisite lucite heels and the not-at-all obvious tit padding... Why isn't this on the cover of Chernobyl Vogue?!
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Dourtney as they call themselves are actually (please don't kill me) a real cute couple on Couples Therapy. Okay, yes he is creepy, she is nuts, but for some reason, I see them making it...she feels safe with him, if she was single putting it out there like that, massive amounts of fiends and creeps would be all up in her if I am not being too subtle, he kind of protects her and lets her act as sexy as she wants...but I like the fact that there mere presence has pissed off everyone in that house so much...that I give them props. All the couples eps. Nik Ritchie and his airhead jealous ass wife just hate them, and of course that Housewife with the bitch face and her gay husband, putting money in Courtney's clothes...sorry but they come of as petty haters...and Courtney and Doug just roll along, I know she is one crazy ass female, but really she is just a kid, acting like a wanta to be sex symbol, but for some reason there crazy chemistry works, and it pisses many people off.
Dear.
God.
Thumb #8 is the one all the newscasts will run after these two Sid and Nancy out of life.
They look like they smell.
OHMAGAH
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 5:39pm.
"CoCo needs to come in and show this bitch how to do it."
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^^This.
Oh, those UPDATE photos. I feel a twinge of pity because not only is she far from a memorable beauty, she's sort of ugly. I see depression and kookoo ahead.
Yes, get married, 14-year-old! Good advice, you vapid beast.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
CoCo needs to come in and show this bitch how to do it.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
Didn't scroll down but I'm sure I'm not the only one who noticed the face on thumbnail 9. It's the face when she sees her "husband" take off his underwears and exposes his "barely there" peen.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Submitted by vsminimoose on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 5:09pm.
I just watched the Green Mile yesterday. It's a shame the guy is such a wack-job sleezo. He was really good in that movie.
Playing a wack-job sleezo. Best part was him getting it. He played a creeper in Lost too.
Maybe he's not acting. Just kidding (not totally)
Is she fingering herself in thumb 2? :O
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Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.
Lol @ IF
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 5:18pm.
Slurpee -- hey, long time no see, hon! How's your little basset doing? A hug & a kiss from Auntie Twatty!
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Daisy's great. Stubborn and pushy as ever. Good thing she has that face.
Her eyebrows have spread apart a bit. Nice improvement.
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I look at pictures of stars without make-up to boost my self-esteem.
Submitted by annobanano on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 5:15pm.
@ Whamo - ooooh, a cheque book - you so fancy! I just have a plain old check book :-(
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He is so damn fancy. He plays with a COLOURFUL tennis RACQUET on his way to the THEATRE, too. ________________________________
Dark-sided!
Screw you cockroach.
Slurpee -- hey, long time no see, hon! How's your little basset doing? A hug & a kiss from Auntie Twatty!
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
@ Whamo - ooooh, a cheque book - you so fancy! I just have a plain old check book :-(
Submitted by annobanano on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 4:35pm.
PS - that jammy looking Robert Smith mouth is not the look.
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LMAO!
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Dark-sided!
I'm sure money is tight nut PLEASE Courtney, BUY SOME NEW SHOES! And Doug, get something hotter to wear.
Her mother should be shot in the head. Twice.
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Dark-sided!
Bleeker, I see her more of a Real Housewives of San Bernardino.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
I suspect she was sexually abused as a child
And Hekki you are dead on with the women comment - she's probably never had a close girlfriend her entire life.
PS - abused PRIOR to Doug
I just watched the Green Mile yesterday. It's a shame the guy is such a wack-job sleezo. He was really good in that movie.
Dare I say, Courney is reminding me of Heidi Platt(?)
"mutant foreskin of a husband" you got that shit right MK.
That old man clinging on to her will not have so firm a grip in 20 years. He'll probably be dead by then. And this ho-bag will be a cougar on the 9,000th season of Real Housewives of Orange County. Her boy toy will be Khloe Kartrashian's firstborn. Pimp Mama will have a righteous arc in programming over the wedding extravaganzaa that "In Touch Weekly" will pay $1 million for exclusive coverage.
and courtney has def had some plastic surgery. oh yes.
the 9th thumbnail is hilarious.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 4:55pm.
I somehow get the feeling that Mom would not be averse to a daughter-mother tag team if the price was right.
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*puts cheque book in black Dr's bag*
I wanna snatch that nylon weave off of Courtney's head and strangle her mom with it. Utterly, utterly shitastic parenting there, lady.
*whispers* (((Mickey))) *because it's not OP* : P
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Mefunigirl, imagine the aroma wafting from there!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
She looks different somehow. Still batshit crazy and trashy, but less fugly.
(((WOwl)))
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Who are you calling silly cow?
I somehow get the feeling that Mom would not be averse to a daughter-mother tag team if the price was right.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 4:32pm.
A 14 year old dating an 18 year old is NORMAL you dumb iguana cunt.
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Do you mean *not* normal? Because I think you agreeing with her?
She's just trying to ge attention by saying the most idiotic thing he can think of.
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
She's not nearly as sexy as she thinks she is. I bet she has three push up bras on trying to achieve this blow up doll realness.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 4:46pm.
Thumb 2 is pure grace...not even the Queen herself has such dignity.
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It looks like she's scratching an itch which I'm sure she does frequently.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
When did she get her new face?
Courtney looks a bit better since she ditched the orange tan.
That's my "Say Something Nice" of the century.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Wow. Her fake tits are bigger than her head!
Courtney Stodden is really not a smart girl, though. I think she's rather earnest and well-meaning, but she's dumb as a box of hair and a basket case, mentally.
Her inability to relate to men in a non-sexual way is absolutely crippling. She doesn't know what to do with women. It's fucked up.
The title for this mess should have been "AAAAAAAAAAAH Part 3".
This "thing" is cartoon whoreific. And gacked out of her tiny mind.
The picture of her mother lovingly embracing her is pretty fucking scary too.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
That'll do pig.
Submitted by annobanano: "PS - that jammy looking Robert Smith mouth is not the look."
Made me LOL.
Thumb 2 is pure grace...not even the Queen herself has such dignity.
Somehow doesnt it seem NATURAL and CORRECT for her to be pressed up against a crusty and flaking brick wall? Dunno, maybe it will be her patch in the future.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
It's simple, really. Parents, keep your kids away from Ho- wood.
I do love her advice tho. From now on ALL advice about EVERYTHING should be gotten from her. I can just see Obama sitting down for a conference with her about new policies and what not.
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Drunks as skunks
Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 4:39pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 4:35pm.
Didn't they prove on TV her tit bags were real and they didn't come with an expiration date?
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We could always send our roving Dlisted reporter Mr Whammo out there to investigate :P
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*grabs little black Dr's bag fills it full of condoms, lube, disinfectant and ear plugs for Twatty's advice* :P
Those are fakey bewbs. Just like that redhead from Mad Men with the giant knockers, you can see the semi circular outline under the skin at the top of them when they're shoved up to her throat.
RL bewbs don't have that line, no matter where you shove 'em.
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Looks like a VW beetle coming towards you with the lights on full beam. Somewhere to park the bike though.
- Sparky , Rugby, United Kingdom, 09/11/2012 21:55