Today's Look Of Understated Elegance Brought To You By Heidi Klum
This is the kind of classic look we should all expect from a woman who is supposedly an authority on high fashion and who gets paid actual money to judge fashion deeeeeeeezines. If Ed Hardy started its own country, this is what Miss Ed Hardy would wear to the Miss Universe pageant. You can find a sophisticated gown like this at any low-range stripper store on Industrial Road in Las Vegas, but Heidi Klum got hers from the House of Versace. Donatella Versace really does have a special gift for making ladies look the "house girl" of an illegal Russian casino. If the front of your gown doesn't tie up like a pair of sneakers, you're doing elegance wrong.
Heidi Klum hosted the MTV EMAs in Frankfurt, Germany last night and put all the hos to shame when she stepped out on the red carpet wearing a gown that looked like what you'd get if one of Elvis' jumpsuits had sex reassignment surgery. Perfection personified. Surprisingly, the EMAs didn't happen just so Heidi could wear this dress, they also handed out some awards to these bitches. via The Daily Mail:
Best Song - Carly Rae Jepsen - Call Me Maybe
Best New Act - One Direction
Best Female Act - Taylor Swift
Best Male Act - Justin Bieber
Best Pop Act - Justin Bieber
Best Live Act - Taylor Swift
Best Hip Hop - Nicki Minaj
Best Rock Act - Linkin Park
Best Electronic Act - David Guetta
Best Alternative Act - Lana Del Rey
Best Video - Gangnam Style (Psy)
Best Look - Taylor Swift
Biggest Fans - One Direction
Best Worldwide Act - Han Geng
Best World Stage - Justin Bieber
Best Push - Carly Rae Jepsen
Global Icon - Whitney Houston
I'm sure that's exactly what the Grammys' winners list will look like next year.
And here's some tricks and tramps who were lucky enough to get doused with the elegance Heidi Klum served up: Kim Kartrashian (looking like trash barfing up trash), Alicia Keys, Jedward with The Hoff, Rita Ora, Taylor Swift, Blahna Del Meh and Carly Rae Jepsen.
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That's why she's Heidi "The Body" Klum...though I always thought her torso was kinda boxy. Now Marisa Miller, that's a body.
Sigh nothing but chirrens music, and no europeen acts?! Yes, I see one twinkrection...but they usually throw more into the mix.
Still don't get BLAHna Del Taco's schtick.
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Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing. I see him starring at me, I see what he wants be
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>:- (
Mr. Mercury ♥
Heidi Klum: Her body is hot but I think she is having some sort of midlife crisis. She is turning 40 next year and yet dresses like a 20 year old tramp.
Kim Lardashian: WTF is this outfit? Is she trying to impersonate some siren from hell shit? Hate the tail in this dress. Then again, I do believe that Kanye is trolling her by choosing what this ho wears.
Alicia Keys: I actually like her haircut and she's the best dressed compared to all the other messes.
Jedward: WTF? Such a disgrace to their parents they must be.
Rita Ora: trashy. Does this ho think it's a wedding or sth?
Swifty: Hate this squinty bitch and her boring white outfits. I hate when she tries pose by forcing her squinty eyes to open.
Lana Del Rey: she just grabbed a curtain from backstage and wore it around her body.
Carly Ray whatshername: Canada's Zooey Deschanel. And that's not a compliment.
I truly believe that you haven't begun to scoop up all of life's beautiful moments until you've heard the line "Watch the wig!" from a piece while sitting on their face. - MK
Ah, Heidi is wearing a gown that just exudes class, elegance and sophistication and more importantly, one that the children will be proud of their mommy.
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squirrels to the nuts!
I don't care WHAT she's wearing, the woman has an amazing body for ANY age.
Jedward, I had to look up who these twinks were and I see they are saying "we're not gay" reeeeeaaaaalllyyy?
I tell ya that non gay look is looking gay right in the eye and it blinked first.
Heidi looks kind of like a mermaid met Frederick's of Hollywood, but I love it. She has a bangin' body, especially after four kids.
I don't get these categories - "Biggest Fans", "Best World Stage", "Best Look" - it's like they need to invent more BS awards to pad the win totals.
Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 1:17pm.
They all look like crap.
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They do! Awful dresses, makeup, hair everything. Heidi looks desperate and those ain't her natural boobs after birthing 4 kids.
God, she has wretched taste. She's one of the most beautiful women in the world and there is simply no excuse for her to look so tragic.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
No doubt Miss Klum is a beauty with a beautiful body. It's just starting to feel a little
icky with her having to put it out there in such an over the top way. With her looks/body she really doesn't need to do this. It's a little sad.
and Donnatello isn't even remotely as talented as her late brother. Not in his league at all.
IMO
They all look like crap.
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There might have been a time when I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life
Michael you used THREE descrptions of that thing that are all golden (Ed Hardy, Russian Casino, and Elvis jumpsuit sex reassignment) like you're auditioning for Fashion Police. LOL. Conserve for next time dude.
MTV really is just going for ratings just to keep it's head afloat. When it was big, they never would have awarded children acts.
Her body is still pretty crazy though.
Christ.....Jedward needs to double-date with The Shining twins.
Shitacular winners! MTV is such a joke.