Brangelina's Child Army Terrorizes A Missouri Pizza Place
No visit to Springfield, Missouri is complete for Brad Pitt and Angie Jolie until their child army has smeared tomato sauce and melted cheese all over the walls of Arris' Pizza. UsWeekly says that every time Brangelina visits Brad's family in Springfield, they pay a visit to Arris' and let their ten thousand kids go wild on the place. I get a panic attack if I even drive by a Chuck E. Cheese (aka hyper brat central), so this story is making me wish Coffee-mate came in Xanax flavor.
Some source tells UsWeekly that Brad and Angie rent out the entire place and leave their team of nannies at home, so Maddox, Zahara, the Chosen Ones, Shiloh and Pax can really turn into a hyperactive, Dr. Pepper-fueled tornado of destruction. The source put it like this:
"The place shuts down for the entire night and the kids raise a ruckus. They jump on tables and even throw food at each other! Brad and Angelina just sit there and talk to one another while the children run around in circles!"
That's some Lord of the Flies shit. More like Lord of the Pizza Pies.
The Brangelina Child Army probably starts their battle by "juicing up" on soda. Then Maddox screams while smearing pizza blood (aka tomato sauce) on his face, Pax throws pepperoni discs across the room and the Chosen Ones shoot meatballs from sling shots made of metal forks and rubber bands. Zahara is more stealth. Zahara sneaks up on Shiloh and stabs her with a breadstick. They keep doing that until the staff crawls out of the kitchen holding white surrender flags made of paper napkins.
Meanwhile, Brad rambles about his overpriced furniture collection and Angie deals with the annoying noise by swallowing another bottle of red wine. The annoying noise being Brad Pitt going on and on about furniture, not the wild screeches from the child as they destroy a pizza place.
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Submitted by lastdiva on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 1:02am.
I still have a lot of ex-Catholic guilt at bagging on kids--even their kids. Maybe they'll go on to do great things? Naaaaaah.
RandéSleepover For The Win:
Submitted by lastdiva on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 12:52am.
The two dim-witted ones are always dressed in tan. Why?
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 12:57am.
So they stand out against all the black.
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
Submitted by lastdiva on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 12:52am.
The two dim-witted ones are always dressed in tan. Why?
So they stand out against all the black.
The two dim-witted ones are always dressed in tan. Why?
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
Yep, it's world war z time.
Promote Promote Promote, you wannabe zombie killer...
~~~ Woosah ~~~~
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 11/15/2012 - 12:15am.
Foxxy, I'm watching "Marie Antoinette" on youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo8qPMhkf6k
+++++++++++++++++++
Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.
Submitted by salacious on Thu, 11/15/2012 - 12:10am.
soooooooooooo... ya' think you're going to be doing any meet and greets on another site tonight? i'm starting to feel like i'd enjoy a little excursion this evening...
/whamo? rascal? gig? hekki? dog? where my peeps at?
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Sal, "they're completely normal" bwahahahaha Never ever would they ask for special treatment! Please!
FOOOOOOOOOD FIIIIIIIIIGHT! lol
A small child army cannot be so well behaved. Kids are kids, right? Unless they're really robots. Exactly, total delusion. lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Ah Within, but they're already doing damage control, didn't you hear? :)
So now there's "an employee who refused to be identified" who denied that this ever happened, said the kids have always been extremely polite, and even mentioned the Brand is so down to earth that they don't ask for special treatment, nor would management ever consider giving it, no matter who the celebrity is.
http://www.celebuzz.com/2012-11-14/brad-pitt-and-angelina-jolies-kids-be...
Submitted by salacious on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 8:00pm.
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Where were MY MANNIES AND NANNIES while I was growing up, huh?
Can't imagine what that place looked like after they left. The restaurant must have been *thrilled* to have them! lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Whenever I see the child army, I have the urge to get myself fixed.
The 2 oldest seem like a real handful to me.
So I guess they won't be teaching the child army about manners then.
If I ever threw food at ANYONE my parents would have sent me to my room for a week.
Do the Bradjoloonies on the other site know about this"
She is still whoring out these kids for a photo op. Gotta keep the brand going. These kids have no chance, they are headed for trouble. No dicipline, no boundries. I predict fuckups of Lohan proportions.
I can totally believe that. There is no way three adopted children and tree biological kids who are being raised by mannies and nannies would be well adjusted. They have no stable home and get uprooted every other week. On top of that their parents are a former mental patient and an absent drunktard father who prefer to travel the world talking about refugees and advocating the legalization of drugs instead of being with these kids.
My favorite part how Heroina knew this story was coming out and she faxed this story to People magazine about how polite the kids were when they were sending letters to Santa in Kent.
Right because one picture tells the whole story. If they are sometimes well behaved it's due to the nannies and bodyguards who are raising the kids.
Doesn't ring true.
I HATE when parents let their kids act insane and disrespectful-in or out of public-but these kids always seem well behaved in front of the paps.
Look at how our beloved Honey Boo Boo acted on her recent press rounds-a mother fuckin fool! Why? Because she really is not taught how to behave, and when you aren't taught how to behave, you tend to act the hell up. Honey Boo Boo can't turn that shit off for the paps, for an interview or for her fans because, poor (or formerly poor) or not, spoiled ass kids act bad most of the time.
The Jolie Pitt crew almost ALWAYS seem very calm, and behaved. I call bullshit on the acting out article. I would gladly watch that whole crew for a week before watching honey boo boo for 15 minutes.
Don't hate on them because they are rich. Good for them.
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Love the Moms in your life. It would suck with out them.
The "source" was probably Brad or Heroina, trying to make it seem like their kids are not being raised by an army of nannies.
Why do people think BRANDgelina compensated the owners monetarily? They're so arrogant they probably feel they are being charitable by choosing to trash their business.
The original Twilight movie was on last night. Remember the vampire James that gets killed at the end? That is who Brad looks like in this picture.
And I don't care how much money you pay a restaurant, there is no excuse for letting your kids run wild. Of course, we don't know if the kids really did run wild. Right now it's just a rumor from some unknown 'source.'
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
I'm the youngest of 5 and our parents ran a fucking tight ship.
I don't think you can really enjoy being together if it's a free-for-all, plus the disrespect of trashing a restaurant is UNCOOL.
Mm... I dunno, I think if I was their kid, I'd have a lot of fun, hahahaha.
Hmmmm.....Might look like they are using the kids again. Putting this story our there to divert attention away from how they are acting like royal rich assholes in this story that also came out today
http://www.x17online.com/celebrities/brad_pitt/x17_exclusive_brad_pitt_a...
(sorry dbll post!)
Submitted by thepaganone on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 3:53pm.
The really amusing part of this is not far from Arris Pizza is Incredible Pizza which is geared towards kids with indoor go-carts and lots of games etc. Arris is an upscale pizza place......ahhh priviledge of money!
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Thats just weird then. Perhaps Incredible does not want all their toys getting beat up by these animals.
Nobody said having kids was neat or quiet, but I do know folks that have 5+ kids who never let them get away with acting like this with no consequence. I am not saying they are bad parents, what the hell do I know, I have a cat! But with nanny supervision over all of them, perhaps they never made an effort to learn.
Shiloh is so totally pulling a Chaz Bono when she's older.
I expected nothing less from those children. They look like a WILD bunch of spoiled kids.
I just noticed in this picture of this family that if you are adopted, you are walking - you only get picked up and carried if you are biological. Playing favorites? I think SO.
*whips condom wrapper out of bathrobe pocket* --"WE need to talk..." Richie during the out of control summer of 2005
Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 3:24pm.
I hope the staff gets compensated for that shit.
Hopefully, the staff received nice big huge bonuses.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 2:48pm.
When we visit my mom, the kids are on super lockdown because I don't want her neighbors talking shit or embarrassing my mother.
......
same here. Crazy is for home. My kids are young adult/teens and I STILL say "act like I taught you some dam manners" when they leave the house.
If they wanted the kids to let loose, they could have had 67 pizzas and crap delivered to their home, the back yard set up like a dam pizzeria with their money and let the kids have at it.
The old saying "money doesn't buy you class" sure does apply with this clan.
and yes, the sheer numbers makes them a clan.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
that black girl always looks pissed the hell off.
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I hope your free abortions are worth it because your daughter, your daughter's daughter, and your daughter's daughter's daughter will be paying for them throughout the next couple of centuries. If America still exists.~ pfk
Must be confusing to the younger kids. How do they know it's OK to trash one place and not the other? "Sorry, Mommy and Daddy didn't pay for the entire restaurant to be destroyed by you little monsters, so you can't smear food on the walls tonight."
Yes, it's terrible manners to let your children do that, but I'm sure the parents are paying for it dearly. And the restaurant owner has every right to say no, but they continue to let them rent the place out yearly so it means the owner is happy with the arrangement.
You don't think that the "observer" may be exaggerating a bit? Yes kids are known to misbehave sometimes and even throw food at each other occasionally. But that doesn't mean that they destroy the place. The parents are renting the whole place out so they don't have to worry about their kids being annoying to others. I don't understand if this is a consenting business arrangement between them and the restaurant why everyone is so judgmental?
I'm not a Brange lover by any means, but let's be realistic, there are far worse things parents let their kids do!
I have to add, I have a child that is well behaved in the most expensive of restaurants. So I'm not defending ill mannered kids. I just think the tsk tsking about this is ridiculous. I would be bothered if they let their kids talk down to people, or treat people like crap, but I never hear about them being assholes.
Too many kids! Wtf?? This is just white trash!
I don't really get what the big deal is. They can afford to rent out the place, obviously the owner is happy with the arrangement since it's happened more than once. And they're not bother other people who went out to eat with their behavior.
Submitted by Hotmami on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 4:20pm.
Ugh. I hate these kind of parents.
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LOL do you know a lot of parents who rent out an entire restaurant for the evening?
Oh look. Brandgelina in the press. Who has a movie coming out?
I can't hate on Brad cuz of this.
http://music.yahoo.com/blogs/stop-the-presses/soundgarden-chris-cornell-...
Chris Cornell is a God among men. Deal
Change is coming through my Shadow
@Dawn Davenport: they may have issues, but both parents are committed philanthropists who love their children. And if you'd ever seen the lives of rural children, let alone orphans, in Cambodia, Vietnam, or Sub-Saharan Africa, you would not be so cavalier in your comments, I promise you.
Submitted by Dawn Davenport: Mom's a mentally ill junkie. Dad's a half-wit pothead. The family has no roots, traipsing all over the globe from photo op to photo op. Ya think these kids are going to have issues??? They prob would have been better off staying in their respective countries.
Ugh. I hate these kind of parents.
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There might have been a time when I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life
Can't wait for these mimi assholes to get their bells rung by bigger more assholie kids...it's coming.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
I thought they were raising "cosmopolitan, thoughtful stewards of the world" type of children, yet they rent out a restaurant where they allow their brat spawn to jump on tables and throw food at each other?!? Fabulous parenting there, you fucking pretentious assholes.
I despise children of privilege who take sport in treating people like garbage.
I can't stand those three kids in front.
Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 3:58pm
wow. toss in a "and the lions and lambs shalt lay down together at the wedding of the most holy" and you are JJ-publication ready!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
You are all just jealous because the beautiful saint of an angel woman and her most handsome man in the history of all men ever husband Brad can afford to rent out an entire restaurant (which i'm sure serves the most delicious pizza on the planet)
And don't worry about all that food their precious children throw on the ground. They have their servants pick it up and feed it to the homeless because they care so much for every person,
The really amusing part of this is not far from Arris Pizza is Incredible Pizza which is geared towards kids with indoor go-carts and lots of games etc. Arris is an upscale pizza place......ahhh priviledge of money!
fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity
Now THAT'S what you call piss-poor parenting.
No amount of money could make me work there and put up with that shit.
NONE. Entitled rich kids being brats? No thanks. Good to know for future reference and other restaurants I'm sure. How insulting to do that in the town you grew up in. They probably think they're doing that place a favor and financially supporting Springfield. Lame-o.
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I have to laugh to keep from crying.