Friday, November 16th 2012

The Best Part of Twatlight's Final Promo Tour

Here's a completely fake wolf who has the personality of Ashley Greene, the natural presence of Kristen Stewart, the same scent as Robert Pattinson's pits and a coat that is as luscious as the coat on Taylor Lautner's ass cheeks (I'm guessing). Tonight in Berlin was the last premiere of Twatlight: Breaking Hymen - Part Two and it seemed fitting to end this living nightmare with a picture of a wolf that makes the same face I make when I accidentally come across one of those movies while flipping through basic cable.

It's finally over! (Well, it's over until they reboot this shit in 2 years and the world has to relive this all over again. It'll be like having the worst hangover and a serious case of diarrhea on Groundhog's Day.) KStew can celebrate by finding her a married German director to rub her box. RPattz can celebrate by openly laughing at the dumb Twihards for making him the richest unicorn herder on the planet, not that he's already been doing that all along (exhibit: A). And Taylor Lautner can celebrate by finally posing for his own "Yup, I Like Dick!" cover of People.

And everyone in or around Bolivar, Missouri who was planning to see this mess this weekend should be thankful to the woman who called the cops and told them about her son's plan to shoot up a theater showing Breaking Dawn. They should punish his crazy ass by forcing him to watch every Twilight movie on a loop until he convulses and turns into a Twihard.

Posted by: Michael K


Luxury brands to the oneself often pride, they constantly set up personalized the standard, and create their own highest state. "Mercedes-benz" the pursuit of top quality, "rous to si" the pursuit of the made by hand, "ferrari" pursue the movement speed, and "Cadillac" the pursuit of a luxurious and comfortable.
Red Bottoms Shoes
Red Bottom Heels
Red Bottoms Heels
Red Bottom Heels 2012
Christian Louboutin Boots on sale
Christian Louboutin Pumps on sale
Christian Louboutin Sneakers on sale
http://www.red-bottomsheels.com/
Luxury brand is very professional, it can not use random expansion. The so-called brand of specificity, refers to the brand service only in a product or one kind of product. It is hard to see a luxury brand points across two industries use, but also a success. Brand business diversification itself is the big fear of brand management
Michael Kors UK
Michael Kors Watches
Michael Kors Handbags
Michael Kors Handbags UK
Michael Kors Online Store
Michael Kors Mini Crossbody
Michael Kors Kingsbury Bags
Michael Kors Wallets
Michael Kors Womens Watches
Michael Kors Mens Watches
especially when it is for a luxury brand? "Pierre cardin" (we don't think it is a real luxury brand) was extended to wine, produced a "Pierre cardin" wine, but failed. If the "Nike" dare to do so, also must have good luck is not long. "Remy Martin" if successfully launched a shampoo, "p&g" must be the foam with rage.
Michael Kors Canada
Micahel Kors Handbags
Micahel Kors Handbags Canada
Michael Kors Watches
Michael Kors Handbags Outlet
Michael Kors Outlet
Michael Kors Kingsbury Bags
Michael Kors Shoulder Bags
Great master alone their heart, GeXianJiNeng. It is for commodity individuation, just as people purchase created the reason. It is because of the individuation of luxury is not like the public product, just more shows its distinguished value.
Gucci Singapore
Gucci Bags
Gucci Bags Singapore
Gucci Bags Sale
Gucci Backpack
Gucci Mens Belt
Gucci Purse
Gucci Shoulder Bags
Gucci Womens Shoes
let a person look just feel good. Those who buy luxury goods are not in the pursuit of practical value, but in the pursuit of mankind "best" feeling. "Mercedes-benz" car so; "Chanel" fashion is also so.

Clio's picture

That dress is straight from the Ramses II collection.

crazyassmom's picture

*eek!*

====================
"...If I put a Cleopatra wig on my asshole and painted cat eyes on it, it would look and act more like Elizabeth Taylor than LiLo does..."- MK
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

crazyassmom's picture

@that's what he said
Welcome fellow Twi fan...yeah, Twihard is rather harsh. Beats Twitard I've seen others use (all around, not just here). My big guilty pleasure as well. But, you know what I really don't feel guilty about it so much. There's millions of us out there, the ones who aren't insane. (millions of them as well, the ones who make us all look stupid).
This movie! It was. The shit! (no jokes). It was the best of all five. Even Kristen showed some skills, because her character actually came alive by becoming a vamp. (yeah, I know. Its fiction, ok?).
@pushy
Thank you dear, appreciate it. It doesn't bother me anymore, although it used to really piss me off when people would slag on me/people who liked it. Now...pfft! Lol. I'm going to read and watch whatever I like as is my right. Just as everyone else has their right to choose.
I loved the books, my daughter loved the books. And we both have loved the movies! We've had a blast every year at the midnight premieres and I'm kinda sad. Not just because it's the end of the Saga (for now), but those premieres are so memorable for the two of us. =o(

====================
"...If I put a Cleopatra wig on my asshole and painted cat eyes on it, it would look and act more like Elizabeth Taylor than LiLo does..."- MK
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

literarylioness's picture

Vampires are so yesterday. It's zombie time.

Submitted by Hekki on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 11:36am.
Reportedly they're considering a "Vampire Diaries"-type TV show in the Twilightverse. I feel like crying every time it's mentioned.

Submitted by tomahawk on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 9:12am.
When you put it like that, they really do fit the "Vegetarian" mold.

Submitted by bookworm on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 8:41am.
Ratfaced=win.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by dementa on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 1:43am.

I personally don't mind if people read it as a guilty pleasure/fluff read. The problem is when you get semiliterate dipshits who insist that it's superior to works like "Dracula" or the real Jane Austen works.

**************************************************

I will admit that I read the books a while ago, and I have seen all the movies. I am definitely not a Twi-hard (hate that name, BTW) but it is my guilty pleasure. I admit to be slightly embarrassed even going to see these movies, but in the end, I enjoy it for the mindless entertainment that it is, and I don't see any harm in that.

On the other hand, my sister has a (26 year old) friend who camps outside buildings for days to meet these "actors", owns every freaking t-shirt ever made, and goes to see each movie multiple times in the theater. This girl scares me...

literarylioness's picture

I think that fake wolf is the best part of this crapfest.

ImpertinentVixen's picture

Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 4:12pm.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 2:18pm.

________________________________

This wolf could have also written better Twilight books!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Indeed! And "50 Shades of Gray Wolf."

Aooooooooooooooooooo!

Few Words's picture

that wolf outta be painted on a van or hood of transam.

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.

freshfacestripper's picture

I'm over her,"this is so embarassing" look in these photos. Like,get another job then,bitch!

dorian_graye's picture

Photos #8 & #10 would be perfect for Madame Trussard's wax museum.

WinterOwl22's picture

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 2:18pm.

________________________________

This wolf could have also written better Twilight books!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )

The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!

helenwaite's picture

I just do not the hell get Lautner's appeal.
I find him to be one of the ugliest guys I have ever seen. Looks like Cha-Ka from the old Saturday Morning version of "Land of the Lost".

snark is good.

ImpertinentVixen's picture

This wolf can act better than half of Hollywood.

This wolf should have been used to sell Chanel No. 5 in pretentious videos.

This wolf needs his own reality show, where he vies to become Little Miss Forest Den and shows us how to make wolf sketti.

This wolf should host presidential debates. Fuck that, this wolf should BE president.

This wolf should play Elizabeth Taylor.

can be a pushy broad's picture

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 10:59am.
Hi Twatty, Hope you had a fantastic birthday!
I wanted to ask you about these men's suits above.
The just don't look right to me. That one button thing and when it's buttoned it just looked pinched and ill fitting. This must be the new
suit for men. I don't like.

can be a pushy broad's picture

Submitted by crazyassmom on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 12:33am.
Crazy, I say kudo's to you for having something you and your daughter can enjoy together and that this series sparked her interest in reading.
I saw the 1st Twighlight and that was enough for me but different strokes for different folks.
Little Pushy was not an avid reader until she was quite older. Luckily she scored high in reading anyhow. She loved reading the TV Guide and billboards when she was in elementary. Reading for enjoyment is such a joy. I'm happy for your daughter--and you.

MissJaneTexas's picture

I heard rumors of a spin-off and I wish I was joking!

"with a picture of a wolf that makes the same face I make when I accidentally come across one of those movies while flipping through basic cable."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**************************************************************

Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012

NationalVelvet's picture

When I need to laugh, you never let me down, MK! Wiping tears outta my eyes!

I think Pattinson is going to move on and be just fine, the boy's got a brain and some talent. But Stewart'll never be anything but Bella Swan and now that the franchise is ending, so will any interest in her. She's pulled a Megan Fox with the self important attitude and the verbal diarrhea.

BTW, best vampire movie ever is Let The Right One In. (not the recent shitty ripoff, the Swedish original!)

The first pic at top is the best KStew has looked in ages.

Hekki's picture

If this franchise is really that profitable, they're going to rape it until it's not. That means sequels upon sequels, like Star Trek and Star Wars and James Bond and shit.

little_rascal's picture

Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 10:47pm.

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 10:33pm.
Robert Pattinson is so fucking ugly.
________________________________________________
Lol, thank you! He truly does look like he was dropped on the soft spot of his head as a small child.
----------
Word! His face is kinda concave like someone hit him with an extra-heavy cast iron pan.

+++++++++++++++++++
Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.

Supertramp's picture

It will be a parade of elastic polyester pants at the theatres this weekend.

Glad this garbage is finally over.

zomay's picture

That is the most awesome wolf figure ever made....I'm shocked it was not offered a leading role in this glorious movie franchise.

...........................

Twat Muffin's picture

They reviewed this movie on the local Chicago news and made royal fun of it, especially the horrible acting. They showed a clip with Taylor Lautner and OMG, he is the absolute worst. You'd think after so many movies he'd get a little bit better but no. I hope his career is over after this, he really is a horrible actor, him & rat-faced (good one) Kristen Stewart. And they interviewed some people who had just seen it. The teenagers were in tears, just so exasperted, and there were middle-aged women there, too, saying they were in love with Edward (Pattinson) -- WTF?

=======================================================

"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"

Whamo's picture

Submitted by Gigaboob on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 1:03am.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 11:02pm.
Submitted by Gigaboob on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 10:43pm
_________________________________________________
So Gigs, what's the latest conspiracy with the loons these days and what's the hot button right now? I've only been over a couple times over the past few weeks.
------------------------------
Whamster the Queen Honey Boo Boo loon was kind enough to link the JA post from here. So nice to see she's slumming it with us. I'm readying myself to enter the double dutch ropes.
_________________________________________________
Ya there are some people here that pretend to be our friends but give you the full loon attack when you're over there. They don't have the guts to be honest here and tell us how much they love everything J/P but over there with all their nutty loon buddies they're all talk. Lol!!

soulks's picture

RPatt- Put some dam clothes on this time Stewie!
Stewie- (pouts/smirks) OK , but then after I'm going to the beach to sit and ponder.

\O_+/
"As long as you have a nice box of grits, you have a side dish waiting to happen, on so many levels." -Paula Deen

scisan60's picture

These 3 look about as comfortable as Lindsay Lohan in court....bored, distracted, believing they are something when they are gonna get served! Twitards aside, what person in their right mind would watch anything with these stiffs?

Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 10:43pm.
------
Well, to be fair, they're "VEGETARIAN" vampires, so no real ones. You know vegetarians are always bitchy and boring and preachy and stuff. But to be honest: Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt did a pretty good job damaging the reputation of vampires as well.

Good Queen Liz's picture

@bookworm 'Rat faced' That's it! She does look like a rat. A bored, moody,door slamming teenage rat squeaking 'nobody understands me' I could kick her in the head all day & never tire of doing so.

Thamar's picture

Such sweet loving comments in here!! LOL!

bookworm's picture

I saw the first one (borrowed from the library). A friend told me she loved it & the books. I KNEW I would hate it (and the books), and I was right. I knew I'd hate Titanic too! I've only watched bits & pieces of it on commercial tv. I HATE the hype of films, especially when you have a gut feeling the hype is tripe (lol). Anyway, limited dvd's at my local library so I borrowed Twilight. Kristen is BEYOND annoying & yet bland at the same time. I hate that rat faced bitch with an almighty passion. And the white makeup on the vamps? WTF! Why didn't the white makeup cover RPatz's neck?

Craigypants's picture

This trilogy was garbage.
Shitty cheap special effects, pathetic storyline and wooden actors who couldn't fart with emotion if they had too. Acting has gone down the tube and mediocrity has taken over. This shit caters to peoples lowest level of artistic appreciation.
It will make a fortune.

Good Queen Liz's picture

I strongly suspect that wolf has a magic act : 'look into my eyes'
As for Stewart, cheer up love it might never happen. Oh wait,it did. Every rational person in the world wants to kick you in your spoiled,ungrateful smug bastard head. The wolf guy is nice.

hexe's picture

[shameface] I was fully prepared to hate him in it, but to be honest, RPatz did a pretty decent job in "Water for Elephants".
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
--"The Little Prince", Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

PrettyHateMachine's picture

Submitted by dementa on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 1:33am.

I was going to say that we had a German Shepherd when I was growing up that looked more like a wolf than this lol. Have a good night

Submitted by crazyassmom on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 12:24am.

I personally don't mind if people read it as a guilty pleasure/fluff read. The problem is when you get semiliterate dipshits who insist that it's superior to works like "Dracula" or the real Jane Austen works.

(And yes, I've seen them arguing that - one twit insisted that Bella was superior to Lizzy Bennett because Lizzy had the integrity, feminism and brains to TURN DOWN a hot, rich guy who treated her and her family like shit)

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 12:03am.

REAL Jane Austen, not a sexually-unfulfilled Mormon housewife who thinks having a hot rich guy = vampire Mr. Darcy.

Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Sat, 11/17/2012 - 1:04am.

Apparently not. And in the age of google, it is unforgivable.

Seriously, they look just like malamute/huskies, except with flat tails.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

PrettyHateMachine's picture

Have these people ever seen a wolf in person? Even at a Zoo? Hahahaha

Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 11:02pm.
Submitted by Gigaboob on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 10:43pm
_________________________________________________
So Gigs, what's the latest conspiracy with the loons these days and what's the hot button right now? I've only been over a couple times over the past few weeks.
------------------------------
Whamster the Queen Honey Boo Boo loon was kind enough to link the JA post from here. So nice to see she's slumming it with us. I'm readying myself to enter the double dutch ropes.

Pinay Pie's picture

I haven't read the book, haven't watch any of the Twilight movies, so I don't get the so-called Twihards. There are plenty of them here in Manila, too. But I can't judge since I like watching "stupid" movies like "Dude, Where's My Car?" :P

_________

We are all made of stars.

crazyassmom's picture

Lol....thanks GG!!!! =p
Ehh....she wouldn't. Tried it after I saw one of her gf's reading something. I told her to start reading her book when she was over one night! She read maybe 10 pages and was like, uh uh.
I may try it again though because it was about two yrs ago, so she may be able to focus more on it now to become more into it. (she's ADHD, but luckily is "growing out" of a good part of her symptoms. While others tend to lessen a little more each year! )

====================
"...If I put a Cleopatra wig on my asshole and painted cat eyes on it, it would look and act more like Elizabeth Taylor than LiLo does..."- MK
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

mefunigirl's picture

how stupid is it that it really aggravates me that this girl has no waist whatsoever.
maybe it's cause everything about her aggravates me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz

crazyassmom's picture

KAaCB-
I openly admit....I. Am. A. Twihard. And what exactly is wrong with being a twihard? Have I hurt anyone? Maybe offended some for being the only one to speak positively about it?
Some go WAY overboard with it yes! But, as I said that can be found in fans of pretty much ALL things.
When I read, I read to be pleased. If a book draws me in to the point of not being able to put it down then I *don't care* if it's well written well. As long as the premise is made clear, I don't even think about grammar errors or spelling, etc. Unless of course, you can make no sense at all of what is written. (a lot of that should have been taken care of by the editors and proofreader, etc at Little Brown).
I have been a voracious reader since the age of 6, I took off and never stopped. Unfortunately, my daughter has had learning difficulties, and although she can read fairly well now (once she finally was able to pick it up) she doesn't like to read. So I was *ecstatic* when I saw her so engrossed in a book that she couldn't put it down! Until she started that series, she had NEVER read a book cover to cover. She couldn't finish a 50 page book, and all four of the "Twilight" books are over 500 pages (if I remember correctly)
I can read "Twilight", the Patricia Cornwell books (one of favorites), James Patterson, some Shakespeare, Anne Rice (love HER vamps and witches also!) or whatever. Makes no difference to me, as long as I can figure out what's going on, I'm going to read it.
We differ in liking/disliking the "Twilight saga", oh well. And that's ok, because not everyone likes the same things! =o)
====================
"...If I put a Cleopatra wig on my asshole and painted cat eyes on it, it would look and act more like Elizabeth Taylor than LiLo does..."- MK
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mani6's picture

Wow...this girl can leap!

http://twilightgifs.tumblr.com/page/2#

............................................

gottdammit to hell will this we never hear the end of this twitard shit? enough already. i don't care if the movies made a hundred million trillion dollars IT'S CRAP and all the actors in it better save their MILLIONS because their careers are over. these talentless fucktards are mega rich from being in this shit. life is so fucking unfair.

Gardening Girl's picture

I still like you crazyassmom. Ummm maybe give your kids some Jane Austen.

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Crazyassmom,

You're a twihard. It's fine, but you are. Also, that's neat that your kids read but reading crap isn't the same thing as actually reading well written books/literature.

Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.

These three. Don't these fucking stars have to try anymore. It's the fucking premiere for gods sake. At least "act" not totally over it.

Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.

crazyassmom's picture

I went. I *LOVED* it. And will see it again!!!! I have enjoyed the series, and I enjoyed the books. Most of all, I enjoyed the fact that it has given me something to do and share with my daughter for the last 5 yrs. (she originally started reading the series herself and was *totally* engrossed in it. She does NoT and has never liked to read. Naturally, I had to see what my 13 y.o. found so great! I was then hooked.)
Its kinda hard for Moms to get their daughters to spend time
together, even harder at 17. So....
Another thing I've really liked was that it got a lot of teens (some boys as well), including my child, READING!!! And THAT is good. I also have seen an interest in some of the books referenced by Bella throughout the series in *several* of my daughters friends. "The Merchant of Venice" is referenced in this particular book/movie, and I know of at least two of her friends I have seen reading it or have mentioned they've read it. So, not all was lost by this series.
And give our girls some credit, MOST aren't seeing a misogynistic, stalker, controlling bad guy. The majority can think on their own, particularly if raised to know how to think on their own. Or to ask questions if something doesn't seem "right" to them.
Yeah, I know there's the *freaks*, but hey....there's the oddballs for EVERYTHING!
Ok, over. I know, I know. TL; DR
====================
"...If I put a Cleopatra wig on my asshole and painted cat eyes on it, it would look and act more like Elizabeth Taylor than LiLo does..."- MK
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~