The Moment Lindsay Lohan Found Out About Her Half-Sister
If you had Good Morning America on mute while getting ready for work today, you probably thought that Amy Robach was interviewing some 60-something Boca Raton socialite about the dangers of injecting insulation foam directly into your face. That wasn't a 60-something Boca Raton socialite, it was Lindsay Lohan who was on GMA to piss Barbara Walters off yet again.
LiLo was also on GMA to whore out the post-Thanksgiving turkey that is Liz & Dick and she talked about how she got the role. Surprisingly (served between two layers of lukewarm sarcasm), the producers didn't go to LiLo first. LiLo went to them. Specifically, she called them all the time, hid in the bushes outside of their houses, followed their children to school and crawled into their beds at night until they finally gave in, screamed MERCY and threw the role at the bitch. The skills she learned from stalking SamRo paid off and it got her a job.
Then Amy Robach brought up LiLo's half-sister and ho tried to act like it was the first time she heard about this:
"I didn't even hear that, so thanks for the news. I don't pay attention to any of it. I don't want to get into that. I want to stay on the positive side of things."
Please, when Lindsay Lohan isn't crank calling (meaning she does crank before calling) her rival Barbara Walters, she's Googling herself. So of course this ho knew about having a half-sister, but it's best to play dumb.
When you almost hit a baby in a stroller with your Porsche, pretend like you didn't see it and you don't even know what a baby looks like. When a cop finds a hot necklace in your purse, pretend that it's not your purse and you'll have to look up the word "stolen" in the dictionary, because you don't even know what that means. When Amy Robach asks you about your half-sister, pretend you don't know what she's talking about. The Lohan family oath states that you must always share your stash with a blood relative, but if you don't admit to having a half-sister, then technically you don't have to share your 8-ball with her.
And there's today's lesson from LiLo!
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Submitted by Deb on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 11:29pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 9:19pm.
Liz and Dick is gonna be some "Mommie Dearest" fabulousness! I can't wait. I knew she could top the epic crap fest that is "I Know Who Killed Me". I just knew she could! LiLo's shit bombs never disappoint.
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The difference is that Faye Dunnaway was an excellent actress in an atrocious movie.
There were some great lines and scenes between Ms. Dunnaway and the actresses that played "Tina". It was filmed well with great costumes and an actual plotline. It enabled a campy enjoyment.
Lindsay Lohan is an atrocious actress in an atrocious TV movie. This "Liz & Dick" crap is so very bad that the camp appeal is lost.
Let's stop celebrating shit, people.
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We can agree to disagree. Mommie Dearest was a crap fest. Even a good actress can deliver a shit peformance just like a good clothing designer can design a fugly dress. It happens. And it happened to Faye in spades. Pretty much sank her career too, no? Did she do much after that? I dunno. Nothing I can remember, but I could be wrong about that.
I think this crapfest will be all the more enjoyable because Lindz is so incredibly unlikeable and she is playing someone who, regardless of her shortcomings, was immensely likeable and a true icon, something Lilo is so DESPERATE to be but never will. It will be fun to watch her crash and burn. Faye? It was cringe-worthy. It only became fun after the cringe factor wore off.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I have to say, the interviewers skills were impeccable. She was fast talking and kept the interview moving without any awkward pauses. I am sooo looking forward to watching Liz & Dick.
SoMissDelicious - Ha! Some unfortunate pregnant woman will see that and think 'Brant! What a great name!' Oh god, I just googled that and of course there are people named Brant.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 9:12pm.
I cannot wait for Crackiepatra! I hope it is mercilessly skewered. Too bad MST2K isn't still on.
^^^
But they are!! Rifftrax.com is their site, they are still going strong online and they do live shows. I love their skewering of Birdemic. Maybe we can lobby them to cover this.
Since Lindsay doesnt' take personal responsiblity for anything: she will be blaming the script writers, director, lighting tech, wardrobe dept and anyone else for this mess.
If you fail at a Lifetime movie, the next stop is spanish novellas.
Come on Amy Robach, good reviews?
Hollywood Reporter: "Stunt casting, rarely works, good for belly laughs and drinking games. Spectacularly bad...Lohan Is woeful as Taylor from start to finish"
NY Daily News: " Lohan and Bowler fail to bring sparkle...Elizabeth Taylor loved diamonds. This new movie about her life feels more like rhinestones."
Lilo should have stuck with Barbara Walters. This is GMA kissing her keyster. Fails as an interview.
Lindsay sounds like she is gargling pebbles. She best quit smoking cigarettes or change brands fast because she sounds froggy as hell-at least smoke additive free brand like American Spirits, or use an e-cig to quit.
Her face doesn't move right, must be the ridiculous injectables in her overdone cheeks and distorted lips. She would look much better if she layed off that crap. She looks really good with dark brown hair though. She seems like she is trying hard to be taken more seriously.
The denver post article says his name is "brant bowler". Nice to know the author, the copy editors, and the web master check their work.
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I'm from Reno, bitch!
I found the "glowing" review
http://www.denverpost.com/television/ci_21997186/lindsay-lohan-is-gorgeo...
now that it's legal in Colorado, this reporter must have been smoking the good shit as she watched it
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I wish I had multiple Alts, that way I won't be so lonely when I'm talking to myself
For fuck's sake it's move forward not fow-ward. Other than the 60 times she said um to stall out the bs stories, the damn fow-ward just drives me up the twit. And where does she get off with the I belong on set nonsense? Many little girls believe they will settle with doing soaps until they get the big movie roles. Yep, they are delusional but it's b/c they are young. Why oh why has this broad been given the chance to look nothing like the person she is portraying and where oh where does she get the loot to wear the fancy get ups she keeps showing up in?
When you DVR something, it doesn't count into the ratings does it? Isn't it like you just weren't watching at all? I will DVR it if so, otherwise I'll watch it for the laughs at one of the other gazillion times it will be shown over and over again for the following weeks.
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"...If I put a Cleopatra wig on my asshole and painted cat eyes on it, it would look and act more like Elizabeth Taylor than LiLo does..."- MK
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Here is a link to a review of "Liz and Dick" . . .
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/review/lindsay-lohan-liz-dick-tv-391316...
"The Bottom Line. . . Both an awful mess and an instant classic of unintentional hilarity."
I can't wait! *starts arranging snacks and cheap wine for the big event*
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"This is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)
" . . . the world needs to be shut down. I mean it this time. SHUT IT DOWN". (MK, c.2009)
It would be great if nobody saw it but it's geared to be such a crapfest that everyone will tune in. Fuck you Lifetime for giving this cooz (Blohan) hope.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
HAHA this post MK! She's exactly like that. Sloppy trick. If Lilo makes this the highest grossing Lifetime movie ever, I will laugh so hard! lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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PS - I saw I Know Who Killed Me. HOW THE FUCK DID SHE EVEN GET A JOB AFTER THAT? It was a steaming pile of shit and her acting was bad and her voice was gritty. It was like rusty nails on cement.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Deb, darlin' we live in a SOCIETY that celebrates shit. We are doomed.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 9:19pm.
Liz and Dick is gonna be some "Mommie Dearest" fabulousness! I can't wait. I knew she could top the epic crap fest that is "I Know Who Killed Me". I just knew she could! LiLo's shit bombs never disappoint.
----------------------------------
The difference is that Faye Dunnaway was an excellent actress in an atrocious movie.
There were some great lines and scenes between Ms. Dunnaway and the actresses that played "Tina". It was filmed well with great costumes and an actual plotline. It enabled a campy enjoyment.
Lindsay Lohan is an atrocious actress in an atrocious TV movie. This "Liz & Dick" crap is so very bad that the camp appeal is lost.
Let's stop celebrating shit, people.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Mani6 on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 8:39pm.
QUACK!! Only 9 days, one hr and 45 min. 'til Skankopatra!
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LMAO!! Skank on a hot tin roof!!!
Have any of La Liz's children or grandchildren commented on this televised abomination?
No? Maybe it's because they have the class and dignity to just ignore it. Qualities that seem to be foreign concepts to the Lohan family.
has anyone ever noticed that Lindsay and Dina have the exact same tell of the eyes darting to the left when they lie?
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Why is everyone turning this Lifetime crap into some major Hollywood premiere? No one did that crap for Tori Spelling's Mother Can I Sleep with Danger. If I was Tori, I would be pissed.
Liz and Dick is gonna be some "Mommie Dearest" fabulousness! I can't wait. I knew she could top the epic crap fest that is "I Know Who Killed Me". I just knew she could! LiLo's shit bombs never disappoint.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
OMG reading all of your comments have made my bad day instantly better, i had to watch the interview and she looks like she is about to cry when the lady asks her about her family issues. I can't wait to see the "powerful" Virginia Woolf scene
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I wish I had multiple Alts, that way I won't be so lonely when I'm talking to myself
I cannot wait for Crackiepatra! I hope it is mercilessly skewered. Too bad MST2K isn't still on.
poor Liz Taylor such an insult to have this talentless skank try to play here...her reviews are comical...calling it like a Saturday Night Live sketch, BITCH IS A BAD ACTRESS AND A HORRIBLE LIAR...she should get into politics cause she would legalize cocaine, and is already a slut and a good liar...fuck this skank. LONG LIVE LIZ!!
At this point, lying - like breathing, is an involuntary reaction for Lindsay.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I don't think there is anyway she didn't know this. No, I haven't watched the video to critique her 101 acting skills of "surprised look".
This is nothing new for Hohan...she stalked and pestered Lorne Michaels for the gig on SNL also.
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I'm totally going to watch this, the reviews are horrible, one guy said this movie is what drinking games are made for, I can't wait to get drunk
I think I will watch La Liz in Cleopatra tonight on Netflix just to refresh my memory of what they are about to shit all over
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I wish I had multiple Alts, that way I won't be so lonely when I'm talking to myself
Submitted by Gardening Girl: "Yes, all of what you said but who many will tune in to watch the caca-fest that will be Dick's Lez?"
I will TOTALLY be watching. Everyone in my household knows this, and they are under strict instructions not to pester me during.
Isn't everyhor going to be watching it? I'm lobbying for a live-blog!
QUACK!! Only 9 days, one hr and 45 min. 'til Skankopatra!
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Submitted by johnnysgirl on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 8:34pm.
Jeezus, that VOICE. Aren't actors supposed to care for their "instrument"? She sounds like the typewriter-beetle from Naked Lunch, "WOULD YOU PLEASE RUB SOME OF THAT BUG POWDER ON MY LIPS"
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Excellent point! She really limits herself as an actress with the truckstop waitress growl. On top of all the smoking, she has effing asthma!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Jeezus, that VOICE. Aren't actors supposed to care for their "instrument"? She sounds like the typewriter-beetle from Naked Lunch, "WOULD YOU PLEASE RUB SOME OF THAT BUG POWDER ON MY LIPS"
What is she doing to her throat that has completely thrashed her voice? Is she bulimic or does she just scream at the top of her lungs a lot? And the top half of her face is Botoxic-frozen. Gosh. Poor kid. Stick a fork in it, it's done.
I am just bummed that Lifetime will be rewarded by high ratings for this poor choice in casting. But I am sure this is going to be a shitfest of epic proportions.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 7:45pm.
Yes, all of what you said but who many will tune in to watch the caca-fest that will be Dick's Lez?
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GG I'm sure lots of people will watch it just get a laugh at how bad it's going to be. People are going to be catching crabs thru the TV screen!
That Lindsay. Always so even-keeled and above all the drama. /sarcasm!
Her voooooooooice. Argh. The video quality makes her sound like a 70 y/o smoker more than usual.
Yes, all of what you said but who many will tune in to watch the caca-fest that will be Dick's Lez?
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
John Belushi did a way more convincing Liz on SNL back in the 70's. Sorry, too lazy to find a link to the performance. Anyone??
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 5:59pm.
For Lindsay:
"Your Mama's on Crack Rock" ...
Holy shit, SDR! I was thinking of this song just the other day. Blast from the past!
Submitted by Deb on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 6:14pm.
...P.S. I'd LOVE to know who it was giving Diz and Lick "Rave reviews".
Probably one of the millions of people who wouldn't know kitsch if it walked up and bit them on the ass. :-P
Just when I think she can no longer make me shake my head in amazement...oh, boy.
I could handle just 0:39 of the video--and that was on mute. The eye-rolling in Cleopatra wig & eyeliner screams "trying to act against the coke."
You can see her get all pissy every time the lady mentions her own "troubles." Bitch, do you think no one's going to bring it up?
I think people wishing her to OD is way too harsh - generally speaking, I think wishing death on anyone is a karma-tempter. But God I do wish she'd fuck off. Forever, not just to make an acting comeback. The next time I want to hear about her is in like, a Healthy Living magazine in 15-20 years that says she's been in Sante Fe doing yoga and jarring her own preserves or something.
SHOCKER!
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2012/11/lindsay-lohan-lied-half-si...
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Who put those tiny daggers in your heart?
Nice try, blowhan. I guess you forgot this here thingy called THE INTERNET where video of you trying to hit a photographer a year ago when he asked you about your supposed 1/2 sister are kept. Really should try to stay on top of things, crackhead...
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 5:09pm.
Her cheek and lip implants paired with her dentures look AWFUL!
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Dentures? hahahahahaha..that made me giggle like a fiend.
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Submitted by LaChaylo on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 6:13pm.
I'd bet she'd be there to accept it!
LOL, yes, because she wants to stay on the positive side of things.
Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 5:14pm.
So interesting to watch her answer questions. When she was young and her mom was interviewing on the red carpet or something, you could tell that lindsay was embarrassed of her. Back then lindsay at least seemed charming and had a personality. As time goes by she seems to have picked up dina's mannerisms. Flippant, self centered, absentminded. Very bizzare.
She sounds horrible too.
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Yep. You know if Lindsay for once had the honesty to just say, "I've really, really fucked up my life, over and over with drugs, alcohol, and terrible choices. I'm grateful that anybody will still hire me. And I'll work my ass off to be a better actress and person", I could get behind her.
But she's been giving the same phony interview for several years.
P.S. I'd LOVE to know who it was giving Diz and Lick "Rave reviews".
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Rich Bitch, that would make my day! I hope the Liz and Dick gem is what convinces them they really need to cover tv.
"For Worst Actress in a made for television movie, the winner is unanimously decided, Lindsay Lohan! "
And I'd bet she'd be there to accept it!