The Photoshop Awards: Madonna's "Truth Or Dare Naked" Ad
During a meeting to talk about the ad campaign for Madge's new bottle of stank Truth or Dare Naked, I'm sure they all played a game of Truth or Dare. Madge dared the graphic artist to break every bone in his hands and strain every last nerve in his fingers by spending hours upon hours and days on end Photoshopping a naked ass picture of her into another dimension. Or maybe she dared them to use a 20-year-old picture from her Sex book as the ad.
This picture doesn't even look real to me. If you told me it was a pencil sketch that Jack Dawson did while visiting a strip club in Mordor, I wouldn't call you a liar. But that said, I bet Madge doesn't look far from this in person. Madge works out about 29 hours a day, she gets her face pulled weekly and every day before she leaves the house, her minions prime, paint and shellac every inch of her skin. I bet that black outline around her body is real too. That black outline of evil is the final sign that Madge is about to sink her teeth into the nutsack of a barely legal boy dancer.
via Facebook
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Luxury brands to the oneself often pride, they constantly set up personalized the standard, and create their own highest state. "Mercedes-benz" the pursuit of top quality, "rous to si" the pursuit of the made by hand, "ferrari" pursue the movement speed, and "Cadillac" the pursuit of a luxurious and comfortable.
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Luxury brand is very professional, it can not use random expansion. The so-called brand of specificity, refers to the brand service only in a product or one kind of product. It is hard to see a luxury brand points across two industries use, but also a success. Brand business diversification itself is the big fear of brand management
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especially when it is for a luxury brand? "Pierre cardin" (we don't think it is a real luxury brand) was extended to wine, produced a "Pierre cardin" wine, but failed. If the "Nike" dare to do so, also must have good luck is not long. "Remy Martin" if successfully launched a shampoo, "p&g" must be the foam with rage.
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Great master alone their heart, GeXianJiNeng. It is for commodity individuation, just as people purchase created the reason. It is because of the individuation of luxury is not like the public product, just more shows its distinguished value.
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let a person look just feel good. Those who buy luxury goods are not in the pursuit of practical value, but in the pursuit of mankind "best" feeling. "Mercedes-benz" car so; "Chanel" fashion is also so.
I guess Cameron Diaz will come out with a new perfume too--called, "Objectify Me." It will reek of garbage can lids and dead whales. OK, Madge, it's time to bow out and retire to Century Village in Florida.
For a woman who is supposedly a devout Kabbalist, she is an absolute slave to the physical world...money, fame, recognition, validation, physical perfection (as only Photoshop can provide), adulation, and on and on with no apparent spiritual awareness. She looks NOTHING like this cheap cartoon ad and every picture of her in the media is heavily Photoshopped. I always thought she was smart but I suppose vanity prevails over intelligence in her sad case.
Submitted by mefunigirl on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 4:02pm.
ITA. Madonna is too media-savvy to not be in on this photoshop "joke". But nevertheless she has always been sadly humorless, thus unlikeable to me. Plus most of her music sucks. There's THAT.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Her perfume should be named Me Maw Crotch.
The line of dark, unbleached hair at her hairline bothers me more than the black outline around her body-- except where her elbow is bent (above the perfume bottle) and the black line is way off.
This reminds me of what Elton John said about her being a carnival hooker.
I bet it smells like pee and old books...
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
It's so cold in the D....
Wow a star that uses photoshop, who woud have heard of such a thing. Shocking. She still looks better than that sea hag Gaga.
that photo is from her sex book.
bitch doesnt look like that now.
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Blonde Eau de Taint. #BorderlineRescueMeLikeaVirginVogue
@Sweetass, "Put It Away Grandma, You're Scaring The Kids" - LOL
@Ba-buttons, "tiny, bitter, angry nipples" - HAHAHA
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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She is desperately and tediously in love with herself.
OKAY Madonna, we GET IT. UGH....
*whips condom wrapper out of bathrobe pocket* --"WE need to talk..." Richie during the out of control summer of 2005
In reality the black bar is probably around her navel
...-Come home to Jamaica-...
They MUST have been going for a bad photoshop look. Make it appear cut-n-pastey.
My teen daughter in high school graphic art class does better work than this, I have to think this was on purpose.
If so, it's way above the head of normal folk and people will think wth? Rightfully so.
If not, it makes me stabby/angry to think of all the great graphic artists I know out of work right now.
So no, I have to believe this was on purpose.
and it's for shit.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
i swear they lifted and pasted on the face from the "Material Girl" video, and the arms from the "Vogue" video. for the torso they just used paper mache'
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Cashew -- hey, hon. I'm so sorry, I knew you were going to be so upset after BE. I know, I was way depressed, too. I'll be back in OP later. Let's talk, okay?
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
We all know home girl looks like over microwaved chicken in reality. I don't need her cat piss perfume she should really keep it movin. I wonder how long it will be before she breaks a hip.
Submitted by dementa on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 2:16pm.
Submitted by stefystef on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 2:11pm.
What you said. It's just bitchy hypocrisy to constantly flog on Catholicism, but then expect people to be hands-offy with a celebrity Judaism-lite religion.
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Yup. That's why I never bought her whole "My-Name-Is-Esther" Jewish "conversion" thing. They stopped worshipping her ass in Malawi when they figured out what a phony she is. And someone else said that when Angie stopped making adopting from foreign countries cool anymore.
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"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12
Submitted by Kizzy on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 3:29pm.
Submitted by stefystef on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 2:11pm.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 12:48pm.
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She says she's not Jewish, and never converted to Judaism, she's just a Kabbalist, and the Kabbalah they teach at the Celebrity Center is not the same as what Judaism teaches, because it lacks the background and context of Judaism. Madonna is NOT a Jew. She's a control freak. Which is why when she ATTEMPTED to pray at the Western Wall, the real Jews threw rocks at her, and didn't allow her to go down to it.
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I thought that Kabbalah (thanks for the correct spelling because hell if I knew how *LOL*) was Jewish mysticism and therefore part of the Jewish faith. Thanks for the clarification. No wonder many Jews are against Kabbalah. Most people don't like religious fads.
I didn't know they threw rocks at her at the Wailing Wall.
So she's following a fake religion. Well, that will go along with her fake face and her fake life...
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"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12
BTW I love that instead of gushing "OMG Vadge is so hawt still!" like the ad was supposed to make people think, most are too busy critiquing the awful photoshop.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 1:01pm.
Dang, a metal historian? I guess that Texas football team is a Dio fan.
Submitted by stefystef on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 2:11pm.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 12:48pm.
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She says she's not Jewish, and never converted to Judaism, she's just a Kabbalist, and the Kabbalah they teach at the Celebrity Center is not the same as what Judaism teaches, because it lacks the background and context of Judaism. Madonna is NOT a Jew. She's a control freak. Which is why when she ATTEMPTED to pray at the Western Wall, the real Jews threw rocks at her, and didn't allow her to go down to it.
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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
I just noticed HOLY FUCK what is up with the model's left elbow?! You can actually see the line where they cut the arm off and repositioned it!
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Jillian lol Madonna used Lady Gagas body and photoshopped her face onto it.
Are you fucking kidding me? For being a little older, this ho is in shape, and she could work that. This makes her look idiotic, and I bet it stinks.
Hey Twatty,
BE later in OP yeah? I'm trying so hard not to slit my wrists *sniffle*
This is so desperate. Don't get me wrong, it's a hot photo, reminds me of Madonna when she was in her early 30s, and that's when she was definitly at her hottest, but she really needs to start aging gracefully and quit trying so hard to maintain her youth. She's in her 50s now, and she needs to start dealing with it.
Whoever did the photoshop work on this photo deserves an Oscar. He/she managed to take the stringy/veiny/disgusting old hag & make her look soft, a little sexy (very little) & definitely not vomit inducing like normal. Huzzahs are in order!
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Thanks for giving us a glimpse of what you look like in your own mind, Madonna.
Now, STOP!
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
I don't see any females (with the parts, anyway) being interested in her stink juice.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by dementa on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 2:16pm.
Submitted by stefystef on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 2:11pm.
What you said. It's just bitchy hypocrisy to constantly flog on Catholicism, but then expect people to be hands-offy with a celebrity Judaism-lite religion.
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...Amen...
...and the kind of 'Kabalah' celebrated by celebrity d-bags like her is really just a version of Illuminati-inspired S*tan worshiping crap...
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...'Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason '...
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 12:50pm.
They won't be the same boobs. I bet in another ten years, she has a boob transplant from a comatose teenager, and tries to convince us that clean living and Kabalah gave her those wonderful tits.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
...selling armpit in a perfume ad. Right on.
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
oh gawd....i thought this was scarjo at first glance...i guess i need to rinse my contacts...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Submitted by stefystef on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 2:11pm.
What you said. It's just bitchy hypocrisy to constantly flog on Catholicism, but then expect people to be hands-offy with a celebrity Judaism-lite religion.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Sooooooo fakey fake. They must have gotten an amateur to photogshop that. Look at how her hair doesn't contrast against the background the same way her hand does. FAAAAAAKE.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 1:01pm.
That is most cool, sir. I shall have to google information on that!
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 12:59pm.
That's what I heard. Once she bought her African orphans, she dropped the whole Saintly White Lady act. Now there's a big ol tract of land down there that the poor locals can't use.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 12:48pm.
Submitted by stefystef on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 12:45pm.
I agree and that really irritates me too.
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Thank you, Lucifer. If you are going to mock religion, mock them all!
When Madonna gets real old, she's gonna renounce that Kabahala stuff and move to a nunnery where she will become Sister Paul. *LOL*
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"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12
Submitted by LaChaylo on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 2:04pm.
You too can wear the scent of semen from a virgin 18 year old, fillers, and hydrangeas this holiday season.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! LOVE IT!
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"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12
You too can wear the scent of semen from a virgin 18 year old, fillers, and hydrangeas this holiday season.
Why does everyone do that about-to-sneeze pose, thinking it looks hot? It's not.
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
I don't understand why someone took a black sharpee all around her body. I thought she had gloves on.
Hmmm...yeah, now that I look at the black outline...looks like the first project of the semester in Photoshop 101. Who approved this?!?
[opens up Photoshop to look for the "Madonna tool"]
Sweetas -- eh, "J'Alone" was okay, but it's not relevant now that Chiniston is engaged. You've totally eclipsed it.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
lol ty Twatty, but I believe "J'Alone" has that title.
Sweetas -- "Put it Away Grandma, You're Scaring the Kids" -- best perfume name ever! (said in the voice of Cartoon Guy from "The Simpsons") LOVE IT!!!
Lucie -- hey, love! <3 You're absolutely right, hon. She has never been pretty or sexy -- ever. And her boobs have never looked that good, total photoshop job on that picture. This old whore needs to put it away for good. Will she being posing like this when she's 60, which isn't that far away for her old ass?
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
Submitted by Faloola Chong on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 1:04pm.
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 12:30pm.
I guess for Madonna, the Blonde Ambition/Erotica period was her golden era. I agree. This ad looks exactly like a poster I had of her in the 90s. She was gorgeous back then, though:
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Madonna was NEVER gorgeous. Attractive? Absolutely and she made the most of what she was born with and bought the yes. But gorgeous? No.
Her new 'fragrance' probably smells like an old folks home.
Even 30 years ago she didn't have those cheekbones! Surgery and photoshop.
The first thing I saw when I looked at the logo on the bottle is a rear view of a headless stick figure spreadin' it. Totally appropriate then.
Puppy Love ;)
Aren't people supposed to grow or mature after 25 years? I mean my dog humps on everything too, big deal.
Yes!! I want to smell like rotten beef jerky, spoiled soy milk, crotch sweat, desperation, and Depends!! Bravo, Vadge!!
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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Personally I was more offended by the Hard Candy album cover. That was revolting.