The Photoshop Awards: Madonna's "Truth Or Dare Naked" Ad
During a meeting to talk about the ad campaign for Madge's new bottle of stank Truth or Dare Naked, I'm sure they all played a game of Truth or Dare. Madge dared the graphic artist to break every bone in his hands and strain every last nerve in his fingers by spending hours upon hours and days on end Photoshopping a naked ass picture of her into another dimension. Or maybe she dared them to use a 20-year-old picture from her Sex book as the ad.
This picture doesn't even look real to me. If you told me it was a pencil sketch that Jack Dawson did while visiting a strip club in Mordor, I wouldn't call you a liar. But that said, I bet Madge doesn't look far from this in person. Madge works out about 29 hours a day, she gets her face pulled weekly and every day before she leaves the house, her minions prime, paint and shellac every inch of her skin. I bet that black outline around her body is real too. That black outline of evil is the final sign that Madge is about to sink her teeth into the nutsack of a barely legal boy dancer.
via Facebook
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It smells like Eau de Geritol and it kills skin tags as an added bonus.
Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 12:59pm.
Madge honey, your perfume should be called "Put It Away Grandma, You're Scaring The Kids". Or just "No".
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LMAO!
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 12:30pm.
I guess for Madonna, the Blonde Ambition/Erotica period was her golden era. I agree. This ad looks exactly like a poster I had of her in the 90s. She was gorgeous back then, though:
http://www.123posters.com/collectors/m0029.htm
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Submitted by skinny fat on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 12:15pm.
vadge is ridiculous. that pic must be from 20 years ago.
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Got it in one. At first the fans believed it to be a chop of the classic old Stephen Meisel early 90s pic which was used to promote Sex.
Oh dear at this being real. I thought it was Kate Moss at first when the face shot leaked.
It's her second perfume, the original Truth or Dare had a much nicer and slightly more realistic photoshopped pic. Hope this one smells better, the original was absolutely disgusting and smelt of old lady.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 12:36pm.
Still with the crucifix. It's as tired for her as the guys in Metallica still making the sign of the devil
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DO NOT BRING METALLICA IN TO THIS PLEASE AND THANK YOU, SIR!!!!
The "sign of the horns", or "maloik" as it is referred to in heavy metal, doesn't refer to the "devil". It stems from Ronnie James Dio popularizing it after learning it from his Italian grandmother who made the sign to either ward off evil spirits or "curse" someone... depending on which direction your hand was facing.... sorry for off topic shit, just wanted to clarify... :P
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"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
Madge honey, your perfume should be called "Put It Away Grandma, You're Scaring The Kids". Or just "No".
Whatever happened to her school for girls in Malawi? Did she stop giving a fuck once the attention dried up? Did she stop giving a fuck once Angelina declared it wasn't cool anymore to adopt Africans?
Pluuueeese. that picture is twenty five years old at least. who does she think she's kidding???
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"The stars shone. The gate creaked.The air was fresh."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxdiJ74AL5Y
Wanna see my tatto?
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?
Da-buttons, you are doing the lords work.
I think when she is in Vegas doing her shows when she is 80, she will still be pulling out her retread boobs.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by stefystef on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 12:45pm.
I agree and that really irritates me too.
mmm I love dry cold chicken skin!!! MM MM!!! And I love chewing the cold chicken lady fat! And then drinking ice cold pickle juice!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Totally OT - The Grey Cup (Canada's lame ass version of the Superbowl) is being played this weekend in Toronto. That stunted mutant Bieber is doing the halftime show.
Some IT hipsters I terrorize everyday are trying to make #boobieberatthegreycup go viral. I mocked them saying ehy'd run out of fashion ideas if he retired but I would love to see that obnoxious tick get taken down a peg.
Btw "Biebs" - I thought OMG SO HUGE stars like you did halftime at the Superbowl? Is that the sound of obscurity rapidly approaching?
#boobieberatthegreycup
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Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 11:56am.
Liver spotted hand
Groping while I cry inside
Merit badge and meth
Forget that old hag and her photoshopped life... what bothers me is that she keeps using CHRISTIAN symbols when promoting herself, but doesn't use Jewish symbols (like the Star of David)?
She wears rosaries, she's the the Cross all over the place, but she's supposed to be all about Kabahala. She can mock Christianity, but not Judaism?
My problem with Madonna has always been her hypocrisy.
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"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12
That face looks so tight. I wonder if she can close her eyes all the way? She is already Kardashian level tight in the face and KK is already going the way of Joan Rivers.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
She's never gonna put those titties away, will she? She's like 55! We'll be seeing those things til she dies. Ugh.
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Douchechill!
She is another one, like Gaga, who is not remotely sexy but goes the extra mile to force it on us anyway.
Still with the crucifix. It's as tired for her as the guys in Metallica still making the sign of the devil.
ba-buttons - yes, but maybe not at this angle... or this pose. TOO MUCH IS NEVER ENOUGH!!
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"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
This does not look like the gristley gap toothed hag we all know and loathe. WTF?
Also, does everyone and their mother have pisswater to flog?
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
please go away. Forever. I reached my limit with her fuckery the other day when I saw her straddling/dry humping that Dangnam style guy at her concert.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 11/20/2012 - 12:29pm.
please to link uncensored version muchacho gracioso...
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C'mon Jack, like we haven't seen this trick's saggers with their tiny, bitter, angry nipples a thousand times before.
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Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 11:56am.
Liver spotted hand
Groping while I cry inside
Merit badge and meth
"I'm ready for my close up now."
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Yeah and what IS that black outline? Gross mess of a photo.
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Drunks as skunks
I guess for Madonna, the Blonde Ambition/Erotica period was her golden era. I agree. This ad looks exactly like a poster I had of her in the 90s. She was gorgeous back then, though:
http://www.123posters.com/collectors/m0029.htm
please to link uncensored version muchacho gracioso...
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"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
Oh my God, put it away...
Did she even have to pose for it? I'm sure Photoshop has a built-in Madonna tool by now that spits out whatever fool pose she wants.
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Drunks as skunks
Her pic didn't even need to be in the ad, we know who she is.
Why did the toasted marshmallow taste like fish?
AWKWARD pose. Soooo unnatural. I get that she's trying to hide her hands and lift the twins, BUT they already photoshopped 80% of that photo, they couldn't have her pose normal and shop the remainder 20% ?
That bottle is just the chinsiest thing I've seen since Eau'de Cesar's Palace in Vegas (which I bought as a gag gift, you can smell it coming down the block).
Never found this woman attractive or sexually appealing. She's just as repellent now as she was when she made that stupid ass movie.
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Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 11:56am.
Liver spotted hand
Groping while I cry inside
Merit badge and meth
Can't believe she signed off on this photo given the bingo wing flapping in the breeze on the right side.
Let's forget about the horrible photoshop job on this photo for a minute (the hard black lines on her left arm and right hip are horrifying), what is happening with her mouth and face? She looks roofied.
vadge is ridiculous. that pic must be from 20 years ago.
I was at the drugstore the other day, looking at their "Eau de Caca" display, and I asked myself: "Why is it that Madge doesn't emulate Gaga by having her own official stink juice?"
Mystery solved.
There's a reason Gristle Monster's arms are above her head, not only to hide the veiny appendages and claws but to lift the bosoms.
I think a creative team sat around for a long time brainstorming ways to photograph her without her arms/hands showing. A few days of photoshop for the rest of her, and voila!
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"I've got a strong stomach and no standards to speak of" - MK 2/5/11