Lifetime Movies Get Red Carpet Premieres, Apparently
No, this is not a picture of international supermodel Phoebe Price declaring war on Gotham City after falling in a vat of toxic waste. This is freckled coke booger Lindsay Lohan flexing her 8-ball cheeks at the Hollywood premiere of the comedy event of the year Liz & Dick. Yes, they have premieres for Lifetime shit shows and no, the premiere wasn't held at a $3 movie theater in Simi Valley, CA and the after-party wasn't held in the back room of a discount strip club that's known for its world-class potato bar. The Liz & Dick premiere was held at The Beverly Hills Hotel. Bitch is moving up!
Wearing a stole made from the living room carpet at her favorite local crack house and a Windsor Fashions gown the slutty girl in your high school (aka you) wore to prom in the mid-90s, the Meryl Streep of basic cable posed for something other than a mug shot for once. Leave it to LiLo to teach us that no $8.99 stripper dress from the Flirt Catalog can be labeled as a work of elegance unless it has a whory hole cutout for your belly button. You can hiss at LiLo's nails all you want, but "dirty crack pipe water" will be the nail polish shade of the season. Looking like the trophy girl at the AVNs is the look.
And since no LiLo post is complete without a delusional cherry on top, here's this priceless gem:
"Elizabeth was drunk on sets. I've never been drunk on set, ever. I did my time and I respect the law."
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! As RuPaul would say, "That's funny! Tell another one!"
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 11/21/2012 - 9:39pm.
Raul is a straight dude, as is mike!
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Yes Raul is no termite thank you very much.
http://youtu.be/MDQBrm4w4Sk
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I have the heart of a child........No really, it is in a jar on my desk.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Thu, 11/22/2012 - 12:16pm.
For once I'm dumbstruck. All she had to do was show up sober and prepared and this could have revived her career. You can still act well in a bad production.
I won't watch; I'll wait for the reviews by MK and the Dlisters. (Sunday at 9, Lifetime.)
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Thu, 11/22/2012 - 12:07pm.
Another harsh, funny L&D review.
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"The recreated scene from "Virginia Woolf" is absurd: It's as though Burton is trading barbs with a 14-year-old boy in drag."
ahahahaha!!! I wonder if she's reading the reviews. White Oprah is feverishly googling for good ones to show her but can't find any. hehehe Love it!
Another harsh, funny L&D review. It begins:
"Lifetime's 'Liz & Dick' is highly anticipated, as they say - anticipated in the way a boulder falling toward the head of Wile E. Coyote is anticipated in a Road Runner cartoon."
Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/tv/article/Liz-amp-Dick-review-How-Lohan-can-you-g...
I can't wait to hear Joan's comment on this 'dress' on Fashion Popo.
She looks like shit but thru Crackie goggles thinks she looks like a beautiful movie starlet. Everybody's in on the joke except poor Linds it seems *sigh*
Bitch is trying real hard to make this L&D be her Mildred Pierce....but really...who the fuck is doing her hair and makeup? Dick Smith used less on Linda Blair!
What a horrid horrid horrid dress. Like it was too tight and she busted it on the way to the "premiere". And that hem! It looks like something I would do and that is not a compliment.
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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
Ugh! Why can't she realize she needs a bra! Her tits are always long & saggy & look terrible in this cheap nightgown thing
Lindsay has brown spots on her eye's iris which can indicate congested liver function. Oh, and the eight ball cheeks reference had me laughing. She needs to lay off the injectables. She looks way nicer in dark brown hair. And lose the ridiculously played out fur, it is tacky.
omg I just can't with this bitch -- she respects the law? yeah, my aunt Fanny.
I just saw this over at Crackie Central (TMZ)..hilarious!
http://www.tmz.com/2012/11/20/lindsay-lohan-liz-and-dick-movie-reviews-t...
She looks better than she has in YEARS. I don't know what doctor they found, but her face looks good-no over botoxed weird lips.
But she needs to stop sleeping late and and hit the gym. She's trying too hard to suck it in. The dress...not so good. She's too busty for it. It's pulling under her boobs and making horizontal lines where it shouldn't.
And never noticed...but she's got a tatt they've covered. It winds down around the inside of her arm. You can see the make up over it in pic 3. Looks like a dragon or snake or something.
Still guys...let's give her credit where credit is due. She does look pretty good here. She's completed a movie. She's on the red carpet smiling. She just might claw her way back if she keeps putting in the effort.
Her lipstick looks like a child rubbed it all over her face and then cleaned up the messy parts with a paper towel.
That dress is heinous and the "kissy pout" face makes me want to punch the crap out of her...I'm so tired of the people who make excuses for why she's such a fuck-up...wah wah "her parents are losers"....LOTS of people have loser parents (and none of this skank's opportunities) and they aren't the waste of air that HoHan is...
She's going bald up front, it will get much worse soon.
I actually think her body looks decent for a 40 year old.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
And "I don't regret anything I've done"... Never mind drugs, booze and arrests - I can get that. How an she look in a goddamn mirror and not regret what she's done to HER FACE?
An absolute mess from head to toe. The dress, hair and make-up are beyond low rent.
I have to admit that I'm going to feel guilty for moment when she finally dies. I feel pretty culpable in wanting to this train actually wreck and creating a market for the media to pay attention to Lindsay still.
But then I tell myself that she's had a ton of people/press telling her to change course, clean up and disappear for while. She's seen her life spiral and has done nothing and taken no responsibility for it.
P.S. Thumb #4 looks like she's taking a waz on carpet... and she looks fucked up enough for that to be a believable scenario.
I don't even care about this premier....I'm just laughing at Michael K's usual hilarious writing. I'd say "brilliant," but that's just so cliche.
my god, that dress is just... wow stunning on her!
hohan can do no wrong, everything she touches, turns to gold, and this movie will be inline for an oscar! a golden globe, a BAFTA, a Cannes prize, Venice prize and toronto prize!
WOW the crowd will say. JUST WOW.
Anyway Crackopatra is on Sunday night. Watching her walking around like in a cheap masquerade party should be entertaining.
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I've heard that she has a trunk full of sex toys...can you imagine the stank that must emanate from that trunk?
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Ugh. She's gross. Tore up from the floor up uglay!
hahhaha Whamo!
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What's the matter with your life
Is the poverty bringing u down?
Is the mailman jerking u round?
Did he put your million dollar check
In someone else's box?
this girl looks CHEAP.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 11/21/2012 - 9:27pm.
if YOU were a straight man not willing to pay her for sex, would YOU date her?
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When she takes her PANTS OFF and all of a sudden my plants wither turn brown and die then my cat does 12 laps around the room at full speed before he rolls on his back and stiffs would be a total boner kill and end that date I'm afraid.
Raul is a straight dude, as is mike!
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What's the matter with your life
Is the poverty bringing u down?
Is the mailman jerking u round?
Did he put your million dollar check
In someone else's box?
She looks like my suburban kindergarten teacher did back in 1971, minus the Herbal Essence shampoo. Of course, she actually achieved a lot in life and wasn't a TMZ staple.
I'm actually finding it hard to summon up much bile for her these days, since I'm finding her eternal drama to be quite dull. She's like the downspout on your house: you only notice it after the storm when you witness the all the gross stuff it leaves underneath.
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 11/21/2012 - 6:21pm.
Submitted by Mani6 on Wed, 11/21/2012 - 6:15pm.
But it's nice to see another rare straight dude in here.
*bats doglashes*
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O_O
*taps foot*
if YOU were a straight man not willing to pay her for sex, would YOU date her? People have standards!
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What's the matter with your life
Is the poverty bringing u down?
Is the mailman jerking u round?
Did he put your million dollar check
In someone else's box?
Dick will be in her next movie too...lots of it.
http://youtu.be/MDQBrm4w4Sk
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I have the heart of a child........No really, it is in a jar on my desk.
Raul just wants to shoot her in the face with his Love Gun.
http://youtu.be/MDQBrm4w4Sk
┌_П┐(•_•)┌П┐__
I have the heart of a child........No really, it is in a jar on my desk.
Oh wow. Elizabeth was drunk on sets but SHE WON TWO OSCARS. This is probably why Lilo was a Marilyn girl. She figures someone who was really sexy who died young is easy to live up to. Now that we alllllll know definitively know she is NOT Elizabeth Taylor at all or a modern version she probably resents her.
holy tree trunks batman, in the fourth thumbnail, lindsay's PR agent with the red folder!!!
To anyone who needs cheering up, take a look at the fourth thumbnail--that orange dude with the slicked back greaser hair behind Lohan? I LOVE how he's looking at Lilo! Totally made my day!
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Submitted by vsminimoose on Wed, 11/21/2012 - 3:47pm.
All jokes aside about how she probably can't get a date but does anyone find it weird that she NEVER dates anymore? I mean.....almost every girl in hollywood finds someone to date within a 2 year span or more.
Is she such a mess that finding a person is just not on her radar or is it the other way around?
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Um, "dating" is her main means of income. You think she can feed her gob and pay her bills on "Mean Girls" cash? Yeah, no.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
OMG!! It just hit me.....Thumb 15 (last picture) Her cheeks look like Leann Rimes' chesticles.
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Why some turds evade the whirlpool...god only knows. They are survivors. The fittest.
- Hysteria
Submitted by tojo on Wed, 11/21/2012 - 7:39pm.
http://compare.ebay.com/like/330784781489?var=lv<yp=AllFixedPriceItemT...
Loooooooooooollll
You know, this is going to sound random, but if she cut off about a foot of hair, it would... I don't know... improve her.
-Einah
http://compare.ebay.com/like/330784781489?var=lv<yp=AllFixedPriceItemT...
I would be suffering from 2nd hand embarrassment for her if I didn't hate her so much...
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...the end
Hasn't anyone seen the commercial for this shit??? The movie looks HOT. As in, it looks fucking terrible and I want to host a booze soaked viewing party.
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
Where to start?
1. Her hair/wig/weave looks like my 10 yr old niece styled it.
2. Her hair color, lip color, blush and shadow all clash.
3. She did her own hair and makeup. After drinking a fifth and snorting a line or six.
4. Saggy boobs = wear a bra, and/or a dress that covers them dumb ass.
5. She needs spanx on her bottom half. Bulgy and out of shape means be classy and wear foundation garments you simple trick.
6. Is that a tacked up hem on the bottom of this Goodwill garment? It looks like a nightie my grandma wore back in the day.
7. Does she have baby oil on her collarbone/shoulder area? And is that a bruise on the left inner bicep?
8. Creme/beige/ecru doesn't look good on pale freckled skin Hohan, but then you didn't bother to pay a stylist for advice methinks.
Red jewels on the dress, gold metals yet she wears silver fake diamonds on her ears where the color pop is needed to marry with the lipstick. Bland.
Grade: Negative F.
The fact that she is making a kissy face at a "premier" kinda gives you an idea of what an idiot she is .... Lol
Smooshing those hot dogs into that shape must take a lot of effort , .,. Idk why she is emphasizing her cheeks lips , and boobs when those are the features that gross people out about her . I don't get it . Why isn't someone telling her that she looks bad .?
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 11/21/2012 - 5:39pm.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Wed, 11/21/2012 - 5:33pm.
Bitch looks like she should be brushing her hair with a Dinglehopper or whatever the hell Scuttle the seagull called it.
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I FUCKING LOVE YOU FOR PULLING QUOTES FROM THE LITTLE MERMAID OUTTA YOUR ASSHOLE FOR THIS THREAD!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!!!!
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I was trying to think of the word and remembered it was something close to "dingleberry." Linds's hair looks so fake and wiggy, though, and an unnatural shade of red.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Its the slut of nightmares
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by Mani6 on Wed, 11/21/2012 - 6:15pm.
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 11/21/2012 - 6:13pm.
Wow Dog...really? I'm a guy. I guess it is hard sometimes to tell just by someones comments.
^^^^
Oh honey, despite my many comments about my husband and kids and PMS, I can't tell you how many times people have referred to me as "he".
*eyeroll*
But it's nice to see another rare straight dude in here.
*bats doglashes*
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 11/21/2012 - 6:13pm.
Wow Dog...really? I'm a guy. I guess it is hard sometimes to tell just by someones comments.
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Submitted by Mani6 on Wed, 11/21/2012 - 6:03pm.
Submitted by WendyNerd on Wed, 11/21/2012 - 5:56pm.
I'm going with your number 3! There are quite a few I'm sure. I think SamRo was the only real relationship she ever had
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Don't forget Wilmer Vlamerjdfhoiurothwhater
Mani, so does that mean you have a peen or you're a gayelle? I don't think I ever knew.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I don't like her at all, but she looks happy here.
Repulsive is absolutely the right word for her, Craigypants. That dress is the sadness although it compliments the hair, make-up and procedures.
Where will the premiere of The Canyons be? In the parking lot of In N Out?
*GONG*
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org