Now THIS Is A Lady
Here's the modern goddess of class Paz de la Huerta displaying every ingredient needed to create a perfect portrait of refined grace. Half a dozen people in Miami now know what it was like watching Michelangelo paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. They watched the greatest living performance artist create her latest masterpiece in a public parking lot in Miami Beach, FL. While not letting go of her cigarette, Spaz changed out of her bikini and into a black bra and a skirt. Minutes before this, Spaz used a public bathroom, so she could've changed in there, but decided to give the people some much-needed culture instead.
Everything about this is perfect from Spaz's freshly fucked hair to the rosary around her neck to the lit cigarette dangling from her hand to the birth control patch on her butt cheek to the way her ass looks like a weathered plaster sculpture from the 18th century. Spaz looks like she just crawled out of a trash can on the beach after spending the night in there. What I'm saying is that Spaz has never looked more gorgeous.
If you need to know what the nipples on a freshly bloomed bloated flower look like, hold your breath and then (NSFW) click here and here. Miami Beach can go ahead and cancel Art Basel, because no work of art can top this.
• 
Spaz is a hot mess, but she keeps her hot messness to herself and doesn't go running people over while drunk and high like Crackhan. So I'll give her props for that.
_______________________________________________
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Submitted by princesspoppy on Sun, 11/25/2012 - 12:25am.
How awful. I have my first night off in forever and everyone is gone like a-holes. Lol
Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Sun, 11/25/2012 - 12:18am.
So Dlisted is dead tonight, too? How tragic.
------------
yup
So Dlisted is dead tonight, too? How tragic.
I feel she should give Loca Lohan a lesson in how to act like a hot mess without harming others. At least she hasn't run over anyone or been locked up (I don't think). So she likes being naked, big freaking deal.
I kind of like that she just doesn't give a fuck.
This may be a dumb question, but - who the hell changes clothes in a parking lot where everyone has a smartphone video camera? I mean, outside of a mentally ill or substance-abusing homeless person? Wait - is she a mentally ill substance-abusing homeless person?
Whatever. It's clear, however, that Spaz is a complete exhibitionist skank.
PS. The british Sun has a piece about madonna flashing too much of her labia--and some similarly scary photos.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/article4657701.ece
Submitted by agirl: "I still say this bish has severe sexual abuse in her past. It is one thing to be comfortable with your body, but this goes waaay beyond normal (see also: Courtney Stodden). "
I'm with you there, agirl. It seems pathological.
Mike, it's REALLY hard to find cute one piece bathing suits, though. It's one of my dreams to design - really DESIGN - a line of non-matronly or -tacky one-piece suits. The really nice ones are soooo expensive.
I'm not expecting to receive any comfort from those quarters. I suspect silverstone's bod has 'evolved' a lot since 'clueless' and 'the crush'.
***
Submitted by Tiddly-Winks on Sat, 11/24/2012 - 11:10pm.
I thought this was Alicia Silverstone at first. It almost made sense.
Just cause it wasn't on film doesn't mean it didn't happen... ;)
****
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Sat, 11/24/2012 - 8:52pm.
I half expected her to drop a deuce in the parking lot.
I thought this was Alicia Silverstone at first. It almost made sense. Seeing that it is Paz, now it makes perfect sense.
You ain't a just whistling dixie there, girl. What the heck happened? I guess I am really spoiled because my mid-40s wife has none of that. paz must be stoned out of her mind to be wearing any swim suit that is thong-like.
****
Submitted by agirl on Sat, 11/24/2012 - 10:56pm.... And why does she suddenly have the ass of a 75 year old? Or did she always have it but we didn't know, because Photoshop?
I just can't with this bitch after reading the New York Magazine article on her. She's a grade A exhibitionist and has grifting skills that would put the Lohans to shame. I can't stand exhibitionists, and I especially hate moochers. I hope she stays an unemployed trainwreck.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Sat, 11/24/2012 - 10:39pm.
That's certainly true when she's constantly naked. As for others, I'm gonna need more proof. :)
Are we sure those aren't Fentanyl patches?
Since I harken from beach country (coastal SoCali), I can't hate on changing in the parking lot whilst trying to maintain some modesty (though we usually use a towel and/or wetsuit). Who wants their clothes/suit to touch that nasty skanky bathroom floor? BLERGH.
I still say this bish has severe sexual abuse in her past. It is one thing to be comfortable with your body, but this goes waaay beyond normal (see also: Courtney Stodden). Is she pregnant too? And why does she suddenly have the ass of a 75 year old? Or did she always have it but we didn't know, because Photoshop?
Hadn't heard anything about this trash dumpster for a while, so I was hoping she cleaned up her act a little. Boy, was I wrong.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Sat, 11/24/2012 - 10:33pm.
When people are constantly naked like she is, it ceases to be sexy and makes people think you lack the ability to dress yourself.
If you cover up, you're a prude. If you don't cover it up, you're a whore.
And you're never attractive enough, ever ever ever.
BUY OUR SHIT and chase the impossible dream of being good enough to not be hated!
Love,
The Beauty Industrial Complex
*______________________________________*
Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:27pm.
THE TRUTH. Making the world a better place.
Here's her bare butt in an April 2012 blog, without any tatt. (Not sure how old the pix are.)
I'd keep looking but I'm suddenly not feeling well.
http://onfal.blogspot.com/2012/04/paz-de-la-huerta.html
Didn't she have a really nice body at some point? I thought that was her thing - sloppy mess but gorgeous figure. Wonder what happened.
Imma shut my mouf about her bloat cause after 3 days of collard greens I have a similar situation going on, but she looks what my husband calls "dirty sweet". Body odor covered with some fruity ass bodyspray .
How are they going to get her musky stank off the fish now?
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
CDaN had a blind item today that points to Paz. http://www.crazydaysandnights.net/2012/11/blind-item-1_24.html
Like everyone, I find it odd that she isn't pregnant, but it could be bloat. I hope she gets a grip.
Drunk whore...
--------------------------------------------
"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Submitted by mike on Sat, 11/24/2012 - 9:18pm.
I do cut Paz some slack as she has a pedigree, but she needs the advice that I often give to women re: swimwear - when in doubt, WEAR A ONE-PIECE.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Words to live by
Unemployment is not doing good things for her body. She is dirty cute but also seems slow in the head.
I'm reluctantly impressed that she seems to have a decent bikini wax. I always expect messy slobs like Paz to have pubes sticking out everywhere.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
************
She looks like she just woke up drunk on the street and now she's trying to find her way back home. So basically me in a few hours.
I'm pretty sure that what we're seeing is beer/weed bloat.
I do cut Paz some slack as she has a pedigree, but she needs the advice that I often give to women re: swimwear - when in doubt, WEAR A ONE-PIECE.
Submitted by little_rascal on Sat, 11/24/2012 - 7:57pm.
-------------------
I missed this but yes! The "kavorka". *flares nostrils, breathes heavily*
*whispers* The Kavorka!
***************
I love Jayzus but I drink a little.
This is anywhere from 3-10 years before the precipitous time. Meaning the time you have before you have done too much damage to the outside cosmetic appearance to reverse it. Once you have been out of shape for so long and have had cellulitety baggy skin for so long, you aren't going to get it back. Usually. That's not to say you shouldn't lose weight anyway, even if your body is never the same. You will still look much better thinner, even if you have to skillfully hide some stuff, and be much healthier, than fat.
Wow. She's not knocked up? I didn't think a woman can get that bloated to the point they look 5 months pregnant.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sat, 11/24/2012 - 8:42pm.
I'm glad I've never seen an ass that ugly and shapeless in real life.
^^^^
Apparently you've never seen BloHan's deflated cow patties.
Paz is entering BloatHan Territory with that bay window.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by letinstar on Sat, 11/24/2012 - 7:39pm.
nucky...come get this spaz...
she must be stress eating...
Yeah, I think she's stress eating cocaine.
it just looks like the flesh color crotch liner was stretched out by her ass and when she gave herself a wedgie it flipped out. Or, maybe it was gasping for air.
I half expected her to drop a deuce in the parking lot.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by D.R. on Sat, 11/24/2012 - 7:58pm.
This isn't France.
- Note to self: Use this phrase as often as possible in conversation. Office mate heats something foreign and stinky in the microwave? Check. Friend sports new striped leggings a la Wicked Witch? Check. Ohhh, I'm going to have so much fun!
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Sat, 11/24/2012 - 6:25pm.
Also....Dat Ass... looks like she sat on a hairbrush
- Ah, thanks for ruining the last pair of clean undies for the weekend.
Does she have a liposuction scar at 4:00 on the tummy? And yes, her tummy has been a little puffy like that for some time.
Lol @ Minimoose and Hekki. I thought the same thing. But I do love Paz. something endearing about her.
Hi Twatty!
RESPECT THE SKETTI AND RESPECT THE PURTY!
- Submitted byTigerlilly on Thu, 11/22/2012 - 8:54pm.
Submitted by ScarfnBarf on Sat, 11/24/2012 - 8:04pm.
Um, I don't think those are birth control patches. And why would she need 2?
_____________________________________
They justlook like unfortunate tattoos to me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
At least she had enough dignity to pull the skirt down before she pulled the bikini bottoms off. I'm glad I've never seen an ass that ugly and shapeless in real life.
As with most "actors" she is a narcissist with no marketable skills. They all sleep with people in power, are given film roles, and then proceed to destroy themselves with drugs, alcohol, and whatever else. Nothing new here except she's uglier than most of them.
Ugh, this creature's sexy is easily combated with Raid.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Twatty, my dear one, I miss you.
How did your Thanksgiving get-together go?
awwww, she looks so hotly incoherent and disorientated.
she is truly the dlisted homecoming queen.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Um, I don't think those are birth control patches. And why would she need 2?
Does she have a band-aid on each butt cheek?
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Lucie -- hey, love! <3
What a whore! She's so unladylike.
=======================================================
"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"