Monday, November 26th 2012

Fist Brown Quit Twitter Again

Anybody who follows comedy writer Jenny Johnson on Twitter knows that she's always throwing shit bombs at the likes of Kim Kartrashian and Chris Brown, and every now and again one of them throws shit bombs back. Yesterday afternoon, Jenny called The Difficult Brown by his official name ("worthless piece of shit") and he responded by barfing out a series of tweets that belong in a book of romantic sonnets. They are that poetic. Here's how their shit fest of words went and I put it in script form so you can perform at the PTA talent show at your kid's school:

CB: I look old as fuck! I'm only 23...

JJ: I know! Being a worthless piece of shit can really age a person.

CB: take them teeth out when u Sucking my dick HOE. 

JJ: It's "HO" not "HOE" you ignorant fuck.

CB: see.. I don't even have to tell u what u already know. Thanks HO! #bushpig

JJ: http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1606481/chris-brown-police-report-provides-details-altercation.jhtml … #SuckIt

CB: I should fart while ur giving me top.

JJ: Your mom must be so proud of you.

CB: mom says hello... She told me not to shart in ur mouth, wanted me to shit right on the retina,

JJ: YOU FLIRT!!! Okay. I'm done. All I got from that exchange with Chris Brown is that he wants to shit and fart on me. I have zero respect for a person who seems unapologetic for the terrible crime he committed and shows no signs of changing.

CB: Just ask Rihanna if she mad??????

JJ: Get some help. Seriously.

Aaaaand scene! Chris Brown hit the delete button on his Twitter account a few hours after this happened and soon as he finishes pouting so hard that his butt plug falls out of his ass, he'll be back. Jenny Johnson says that she's been getting death threats from Team Breezy on Twitter. But a death threat just isn't that scary when you know that an extra slow 12-year-old is tweeting it while sitting in the back of the detention trailer at school.

What I've learned from this mess of a Twitter fight is that Fist Brown is a charming romantic and a SCAT QUEEN. And Chris Brown doesn't need to shit in your eye to show you what it feels like for him to shit in your eye. Because every time I look at a picture of him, it feels like someone just dropped one on my retina.

via Vulture

Posted by: Michael K


SANS FARDS's picture

I can't stop laughing at "I should fart while ur giving me top." god what an asshole. No class at all.

Eat your heart out, Rihanna.

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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.

"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."

crazyinjapan's picture

Chris Brown is a sociopath. Jenny Whatever isn't funny, but I'm team Jenny because she got him to quit Twitter.

Wow..the police report is scary. What a horrible monster! I can't believe he still has fans and I can't believe people are stupid enough to defend the evil little biotch.

MissJaneTexas's picture

It would be one thing if after the incident happened with rhianna he apologized profusely, meant it, did some serious damage control, acted on the up and up from there on out and she was tweeting this stuff to rile him up.. But he has continued to act like an entitled asshole douchenozzle. And to respond with that vile, sexual, misogynistic crap is just beyond. How any woman could defend him ever - my god. Chris, your parents failed you.

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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012

RandéSleepover's picture

CB does look old as fuck but JJ started it. Still, it brought out his true self in all its charming glory.

princesspoppy's picture

Submitted by chaka1 on Mon, 11/26/2012 - 3:13pm.

How to correctly spell 'whore.' Wait, that's not right, is it?

chaka1's picture

I'm sure this manchild is going to put another stupid tattoo in the middle of his forehead now. I really don't care about Chrispy Brown, but his actions are so annoying and immature. There are dozens of young girls on other sites defending his actions. What are we teaching our young women?

princesspoppy's picture

I'm glad that JJ posted the link. I forgot he bit her.

WendyNerd's picture

I think his PR team finally had enough. We'll know if he doesn't re-open his account again.

The thing is, if he wasn't such an asshole all of the time and actually acted like a fairly decent human being and didn't do things like throw chairs, get into fights, cheat on his girlfriends and tweet stupid, egotistical shit, he not only would be incredibly better off, but then the world might actually be able to forgive and forget what happened. But he seems determined to make himself seem as despicable and awful as possible.

When you've done something like put your girlfriend in the hospital--- especially when said girlfriend is a beloved pop star (at least, she was at the time)--- it can be hard to bounce back from that publicly, but it's not impossible. You apologize immediately, repeatedly, and sincerely, you put your tail between your legs for about a year, do your time, do some charity work to benefit victims of domestic violence, and basically play nice as much as possible. You know, SHOW SOME ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACTUAL REMORSE FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE AND EXPRESS AS MUCH APPRECIATION FOR WHAT YOU'VE BEEN GIVEN AS POSSIBLE.

Like when you win a grammy, you tweet something like, "Thank you so much to my wonderful fans and the public for this award and for giving me the opportunity to move on. Your support and forgiveness mean the world to me." Not "HATE ALL YOU WANT CUZ I GOT A GRAMMY NOW!!!! THAT'S THE ULTIMATE FUCK OFF."

The reason why people can't move on is because he refuses to let us do so.

He should have stayed off twitter the first time, or had it monitored by his PR team in the first place.

Butterfly in the sky
I can go twice as high
Take a look
It's in a book
Pig-fucking movie
Pig-fucking movie

freshfacestripper's picture

I saw all tht on twatter last nite. Dude is weird. I totally thought that jenny chick was a no one like me and he was fighting with an older white lady.

REDMOND's picture

I wish he would quit life.

Incognito's picture

Chris annoys the hell out of me. He's insolent and has no sense of when to shut the fxck up, but...

She revved him up and then got mad. Me no understand?

And people are calling his tweets sexist?

I call MEN AND WOMEN bitches and hoes (?) and assholes and jerks and semenbags and the like ALL DI TIME. I don't discriminate. Neither does Chris. He calls men bitches too. And women asshole pussy lickers. Check his tweets. He's fair, not sexist!

Also I feel like he's apologized privately to Rihanna and her family on numerous occasions. He really doesn't need to apologize to any of us...

What he did was despicable and I DO NOT CONDONE IT, but when I do despicable things I apologize to the parties involved. Not comedians on Twitter. And I do despicable acts on the daily. Check mah receipts!

Also I hate Chris Brown. Not for what he did. Rihanna should care about that. I just don't care for his music. But I like his dance moves.

*and then I hit my dougie*

~************************************************~
"This is all rather 'may-jah'..."

~Posh-esque

Kizzy's picture

Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 11/26/2012 - 2:58pm.

Submitted by Kizzy on Mon, 11/26/2012 - 2:50pm.
Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 11/26/2012 - 2:23pm.
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For reals. The fact that they admit they're fans of Brown or Bieber lets you know right up front they're not playing with a full deck.

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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥

little_rascal's picture

Just read the mtv report. Dear lord, the vicious brutality of it is nauseating.
I feel like lifting my cast iron frying pan and bringing it down hard on his scowling face.

+++++++++++++++++++
Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.

CokeyBloke's picture

Christ! I had never read the report of the assault. That was vicious. Dick Brown is an animal.

Gardening Girl's picture

Whamo, I thought makind death threats was a crime. Hope some of these turds get charged of loose their jobs.

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Chirio's picture

that fist brown....I have no words...the words I have are pretty much unchristiannnnnnnn!!!

I don't really understand this twitter talk "I er do me top"....the f*** does that mean???!! the worse sex text everrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Coma Caca!
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Hekki's picture

Yet another situation where I can't pinpoint the asshole, because everyone is behaving badly.

Why did she do that? Did she twat a constructive piece of criticism? Is she promoting a positive agenda? Did she take the high road? No.

She's trying to get people talking about her. She succeeded. Cue a round of talk show appearances.

I don't particularly mind that she's exploiting him, because he's a piece of garbage, but she's not a hero.

Whamo's picture

Submitted by Kizzy on Mon, 11/26/2012 - 2:50pm.
Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 11/26/2012 - 2:23pm.

The death threats are just beyond--- what is wrong with people?
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IKR? I don't expect Chris Brown fans to all be MENSA members
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I'd put the likelihood of that happening at zero. Anonymity let's people say the most fucked up things but I really don't see someone ACTUALLY harming her anymore than I'd expect a Bieber tween to carry out one of their million death threats

Bossy's picture

@Event Horizon, I'll look for it! I bet your "friend" thinks the world is just against him/her, the perfect angel.

QuweenJillian's picture

He's a disgusting piece of shit, he's never gonna change. And Rihanna's a very, very, very stupid person, in more ways than one.

It's good for her to forgive and move on but she's seeing him again. I don't get it! Maybe she likes getting her ass beat, she is kinda freaky now...

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I'm not a slut, I'm sexually liberated. There's a difference.
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Whamo's picture

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 11/26/2012 - 2:32pm.
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Even if he never beat her again he's a scumbag POS and SHE'S a brain dead POS stripper.

It just goes to show you money doesn't buy self respect because any woman that goes back to a man that beat on her especially when there is no financial trappings such as the inability to afford another place, kids with the abuser etc, makes her an idiot.

fredfred's picture

m.e. - i don't remember ever reading the details of the beating either. scum.

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watching hardcore ufos

oh dave's picture

We need to all make a pact that we will forget these people exist no matter what they do.

http://13-mitred-abbots.tumblr.com/

Sweetas's picture

omg that MTV article. :(

AtomicCity's picture

That MTV report is horrifying. Reading that, I had tears in my eyes imagining how terrified Rihanna must have felt. And then I realized that she is with Chris Brown now and my sadness turned to anger.
Yes, when I was early 20-ish I didn't choose the most upstanding citizens to date. However, the worst of their offenses were that they smoked pot. Never once did I have a guy come close to beating the holy living hell out of me.

CB: Just ask Rihanna if she mad??????

This response by Chris Brown is scary. He seems awful proud that he beat the snot out of Rihanna and still managed to win her back.
He's a winner.

Hairy Back Mary's picture

This woman is my hero. It almost makes me want to join Twitter.

Kizzy's picture

Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 11/26/2012 - 2:23pm.

The death threats are just beyond--- what is wrong with people?
=============
IKR? I don't expect Chris Brown fans to all be MENSA members, but geeeeeze! I mean, damn, I was a rabid Elizabeth Taylor fan, and Lohan's still walking around...

************************************
"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥

Helena's picture

I cannot stand this guy.

_________________________________

Devil's advocate.

FilthyBitch's picture

Chris Brown got beat by a woman for once. It's hard not to applaud.

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"I've got a strong stomach and no standards to speak of" - MK 2/5/11

Kizzy's picture

Submitted by toxicsparkles on Mon, 11/26/2012 - 2:06pm.

Submitted by Kizzy on Mon, 11/26/2012 - 1:59pm.
===============
Still say it was an open invitation. "I look so old" invites "the only difference between your face and your Grandma's ass is SHE uses Jean Nate'" kind of comments. She just called a piece of shit woman beater a piece of shit woman beater. He's the one who invited the comments on his looks.

************************************
"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥

miz cynical's picture

I think this is the first time that I've ever read the report, and it's horrifying. As many of you have already said, he could've easily have killed her that night. The only reason why he didn't is that there were witnesses and like a chicken shit, he drove off. No sympathy for her. I can't believe that she went back to someone who displayed nothing but hatred and rage towards her. Inexcusable.

I feel like the police report should play like a disclaimer before every televised appearance by him. Just so people don't forget.

Ok. Now I need a new photo/story STAT 'cause looking at his mug makes me lose my appetite! I'll take LiLo as Liz Taylor any day over this piece of shit.

JTROS's picture

I just read the details of the police report. It makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. This was not a "I momentarily lost my temper and did something I immediately regretted" (which, is still no excuse for domestic violence, obviously). NO, this was a violent, pathological abuser attempting to kill his girlfriend. This is NOT someone who can be rehabilitated. Based on the shit he has said in his twatter posts, I would not be surprised in the least if he has raped her or any of his other sexual partners, in addition to physical and mental abuse.

He is not a good person.

Nanners's picture

Jenny needs an official invitation to Dlisted Nation.

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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012

boredasfuckyo's picture

I dislike Chris Brown, and I like that this Jenna person took the piss out of him, just because it pissed him off, but lets be honest, it's not like she did the impossible, it wouldn't take much to piss him off. You could call him a doodyhead and he'd rage out over it.

However with that being said, unrelated to Chris Brown, I looked at Jenna Johnson's twitter and she just seems like an annoying cuntbag herself for attention, that annoying wannabe edgy female who is trying waaaaay too hard to prove she can be just as insultingly funny as the big boys and she fails. She reminds me of a more annoying Chelsea Handler.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."

ISprainedMyUvula's picture

People are seriously surprised by this. He's a piece of shit. He's always been a piece of shit. Even when he was supposed to be proving to the world for PR purposes that he isn't a piece of shit, he was still acting like a piece of shit.

Polish a turd, it's still a turd.

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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.

Trixster's picture

Looking forward to the day he is living in a camper in some random person's driveway.

M.E.'s picture

I don't recall ever reading the police report before. Now after reading the extent of the beating and knowing that RiRi has resumed her relationship with him I have no pity for her. She's stupid. He'll beat her again and she will not be so lucky to walk away next time.

RichBitch's picture

He's gonna kill Rihanna within a year. Trust.

Event Horizon's picture

@bossy

Speaking of shitty, sociopathic friends...boy do I have a story for you! Save for OP though

b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe energy. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."

Event Horizon's picture

So they're like 22/23 right? Can't say I was making much better choices in men at that age so can't throw too much shade at her. This exchange does highlight how immature, classless and just plain stupid he is though...

~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe energy. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."

islandgirl's picture

The death threats are just beyond--- what is wrong with people?

http://www.billboard.com/column/the-juice/chris-brown-fans-threaten-to-k...

parissucksliterally's picture

I wish he'd quit life.

***********************************************
"Elizabeth was drunk on sets. I've never been drunk on set, ever. I did my time and I respect the law."
-Lindsay Lohan 11/2012

tonicbitch's picture

I appreciate Jenny's sentiments, but someone like Chris Brown will never "get it" and his fucktarded fans won't "get it" so it's a waste of time and effort on her part.

Gardening Girl's picture

Ewww just read that MTV article...if she went back after that then her stupid ass deserves what ever he does to her. Morons BOTH of them.

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Thanks for introducing some of us to Ms. Johnson! My favorite tweet of hers is, "You can't spell Ann Coulter without cunt."

Bossy's picture

When CB first came out I thought he had a lot of talent as a singer and a dancer and throughout all his scandals I tried to remember that at his actual job he was good--it was his personal life that he was a complete mess.

Generally, I have found that people can make mistakes, but they need to learn something and mature from their experiences in order for you to still want to be around them (for a short time I thought CB might have done this). If they still want to argue circumstances behind their actions (e.g. yes I did THAT but it was because X) or are defensive in their screw up in any way (if you messed up you should feel bad enough that you know you DESERVE the sh*t talking) or if their personalities are just too much to deal with you really should just leave. I've had to apply this to a relationship with a friend: girl was all drama, never thought anything was her fault when it clearly was, manipulated everyone around her to think I was the bad guy, never just STFU and said, "yes I'm a b*tch, I'm sorry, feel free to be upset". These are the people who will just never grow up, it's all ME ME ME--nevermind what I do to you. It's clear that this is also CB. He is just an a**hole, and like all a**holes, in his mind YOU'RE always the a**hole.

If I screwed up like he did I would not respond to comments like the comedian's, because I would know that yes, I am a worthless piece of shit for my actions. I would wholeheartedly feel ashamed of myself, no matter the circumstances because I crossed the line. But that's what separates people I can stand to be around and those I can't: self-awareness, and CB just doesn't have it.

jack-n-the-hat's picture

Twit quitter?? my goodness, NO! How will the little future woman beaterz of the Divided States of Embarrassment get their daily inspiration???? EWE CANNAH DWIT!!!

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"A Muppet and his money are soon parted." ~ Lu32Cy (aka Lucifer Sam)

"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers

Dirk Diggler's picture

I'd love to take a baseball bat to that smug, fugly mug.

toxicsparkles's picture

Submitted by Kizzy on Mon, 11/26/2012 - 1:59pm.

Don't get me wrong, i'm not a fan of his and know he hasn't really learnt from what happened.

I totally expect people to call him out on his shit when he's doing something wrong, yes he acted like a twat here but it was AFTER she put her 5cents in. Why even do that unless you want the attention, maybe thats why it annoys me.