Tuesday, November 27th 2012

The Vacuum Cleaner Man Has Seen This Lady's Tits

This clip from a local news station in Portland starring one of Oregon's crown jewels and my idol of the night will make your brain burp up a million question marks. The local news interviewed her about blown out windows, or something, and then that leads to her talking about how the vacuum cleaner man saw her tits and how she hasn't been allowed to drive for the past 3 years. So many questions!

Who is that vacuum cleaner man? Is that code for something, because I didn't think vacuum cleaner men existed anymore? Does the vacuum cleaner man now have marbles in his sockets, because he was so overcome with excitement from seeing ole' girl's tits that he took a Kirby hose to his eyeballs? Why isn't she allowed to drive? Does it have anything to do with her showing the vacuum cleaner man her tits? Is her sweater made of Fraggle pubes? Questions: a lot of them!

But I don't need the answer to any of those questions. It doesn't matter. I still love her no matter what. I just want to move to Portland and drive her around so she can show me all the people she's flashed her tits at.

via Mashable

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Puhaaaaa so funny, ilaugh too much :)))) i wanna try this

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mizsherle's picture

If I met people this cool, I'd start having friends.

Deb's picture

She's still more coherent than Courtney Love. JSing.

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

harlow's picture

Estacada most definitely is still called incestacada, when I first moved up to Oregon (gun not gon) I lived in Colton before moving to NE Portland. Second with the ? on gresham being listed as normal..it's a living Jerry Springer show..don't let all those newer nice looking developments fool you. Havent tried that bakery yet..I go to PIX for my sweet tooth.

harlow's picture

Before I moved to Portland last year I use to hang out in the city for the entertainment by all the weird people and seeing random things like dreads with green plastic army men climbing up like it's rope ..now that I live in the crazy it's not so fun..hop on the MAX- crazies.. take a smoke break outside -crazies screaming at the park and drunkies trying to get you to buy booze BC the cashier cut them off...regular days here ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"that's the first time i had dick in my mouth, and that's the last time i'm going to choke on it.." Dani

Hockey fan's picture

Lattice glove:Gresham is normal?? Lol. White trash is normal? Its like Estacada North now, but it didnt use to be. And does anyone call cities Incestacada or Hillsburrito or Ablowha anymore?
And whoever mentioned Jaciva's Bakery- i'm now craving it. Any of it. Damn you! Lol.
God i miss home. But i love how many horz on here are in or from pdx!!

Sinjin

3rd generation PDX'r. Remember Portland when it wasnt weird.

sinjin's picture

Well I'm just stunned (happily so) at the number of Dlisters who are or are from PDX.

*waves from a few miles south* :D

winniwins's picture

Submitted by michmash on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:06am.
I am so embarrassed, all the Portland stories are so, well, weird. But we do have the best food carts.
==========================
So true! I spend alot of time in Portland. I hate how I'm ALWAYS overdressed for any occassion. "business attire" is Burks and a Patagonia" Black Tie- equates to anything loosely fitting, preferably purple. I end up WAY overdressed, heels in hand and scarfing down street food by 10 p.m. But you still have an Artcle Circle! Die over Special sauce!!!!

And SE Hawthorne is one of the weirder areas for sure. The best cake bakery ever is Javiva's on Hawthorne. I would make the hour trip to pick up one of their cakes for birthdays.

I think the NW has its share of weirdos because of the lack of sunshine. It has more cloud cover than just about anywhere. People need the sun.

I lived in Portland for four years...SE Hawthorne. Let me tell you this nutjob is par for the coarse. I've never seen so many eccentrics and mentally ill people condensed in such a small city. There's something in the water system for sure. Only thing that's gonna rid it is FLUORIDE bitches.

Bahwwaaahhhaaaaa!!!!!!

Haha the Kirby guy saw her tits!
She rocks and should be a hot slut!

LoCoJo's picture

Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:16am.
Who's the chick that starred on that show with Valerie Bertanelli as a kid? The Heroin addict? Is this her? Help a bitch out here. SFRB?!?!
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You're thinking of Mackenzie Phillips. That's exactly who I thought of when I saw this woman. Mackenzie WISHES she held up as well as this 'ol broad!

I live in San Francisco where this type of conversation is par for the course..... Also lived in Santa Cruz for 20 years which is another 'keep it weird' town......yep, this lady would fit in just fine here in the Bay...

Wanted's picture

The only question I had after viewing this clip is when ol girl asked if the reporter wanted to see her tits WHY DIDN'T SHE SAY YAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS!

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"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
- Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler

WinterOwl22's picture

Lmao so random! She's awesome. Haha!

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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )

The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!

Submitted by Anonymouse73 on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:21am.
"This is the normal for Portland. The government is spiking the granola or Kombucha or some shit because every last person in a 20 mile radius from city center is a wackadoodle."

It's called weed. ;)

........................................................

There are a few pocketed neighborhoods in Portland that are known for their weirdness. Portland is kinda known as San Francisco North.

A 20-mile radius would include all of the cities such as Beaverton, Lake Oswego, Tigard, Gresham, Tualatin that are completely normal.

Submitted by MILF on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:25am.
Come to Portland, MK, we will show you what keeps Portland weird...

Being fat and pasty isn't weird. It's called Walmart.

Come to Portland, MK, we will show you what keeps Portland weird...

Anonymouse73's picture

"This is the normal for Portland. The government is spiking the granola or Kombucha or some shit because every last person in a 20 mile radius from city center is a wackadoodle."

It's called weed. ;)

Migraineuse...I seriously doubt she's mentally ill. She's just having a little fun with the interviewer.

M.E.'s picture

Fuck me. I missed the whole location part of the story. My bad

M.E.'s picture

Who's the chick that starred on that show with Valerie Bertanelli as a kid? The Heroin addict? Is this her? Help a bitch out here. SFRB?!?!

M.E.'s picture

Was this Florida?

Meatblocks's picture

i love eccentric people.
relax, migraineuse.
that bird knew what she was dropping ... she even had the "pause for effect/laugh track" thing going on.
she enjoys herself ... and i enjoyed her too ...
SHOW US YER TITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*

Migraineuse's picture

Making fun of people with mental issues is not cool.

*______________________________________*

Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:27pm.

THE TRUTH. Making the world a better place.

ewlulu's picture

Maybe he is related to the Lawnmower Man?

Mel-Tang's picture

Ha! I think she asked the reporter if she wanted to see her tits, too. Lmao

* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *

www.poopreport.com :)

<3-------------------------------<3

RIMADYL KILLS

Phatasmagoria's picture

Submitted by Orangina on Tue, 11/27/2012 - 10:20pm.

YES! I'm picturing a Bridesmaids-esque topless driving situation.

suckandfuck's picture

I love her "TAKE THAT!" smile after confessing her lack of automobile experience the past several years. HOW BOUT THEM APPLES?

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

elegantlady's picture

PDX has NOTHING on Salem!

++++++++
Virtue and Talent are obviously overrated.

I am so embarrassed, all the Portland stories are so, well, weird. But we do have the best food carts.

Green Tea Latte's picture

YAAASSS! Love da old memaw truff tellers!! LOL I feel like identifying people by wether they seent my tits or not from now on LMAO

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Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing. I see him starring at me, I see what he wants be
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>:- (
Mr. Mercury

Hockey fan's picture

Oh my gawd i miss my hometown so much when i see wackos like this! You mever know what you will get in pdx and thats what makes it so fucking cool. Jelly of all of u living there...

jalynne's picture

I don't know if this just put Portland back on my list of places to move to or permanently off. I'm just sick of the cray-cray trash here in Florida. Maybe meeting people like this will help with possible homesickness.

suckandfuck's picture

oh my goodness what a sweet smile and YES I DO want to see your tits lady where are you going?????

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

jelliebean's picture

*imagines a tit flash-off between Dame Portland and Spaz de la Huerta*

jelliebean's picture

Shhhh, MK don't let people know how fun Portland is, it'll ruin it. It's soo fun the city is beautiful and the food is fab. Now about this lady, she definitely made the sweater? poncho? herself, and has a collection of cats, although it's Portland, so she might have llamas too.

whateves's picture

I think the vacuum cleaner man might be an abortion provider. Just sayin.

TelevisedRevolution's picture

Yes, she's confident about her body! Let's just call her "Dame Portland."

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God don't like ugly.

TelevisedRevolution's picture

Yes, she's confident about her body! Let's just call her "Dame Portland."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
God don't like ugly.

Uncle Brain-fart's picture

I love people like that. We were naturals in spotting them out in random bars and were guaranteed hours of entertainment...They are harmless, fun , the spice of life. My husband is a magnet to people like that, maybe they smell the crazy on HIM and that`s what attracts them.

D.R.'s picture

Yes!

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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.

"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz

Madam Pince's picture

She's just keeping Portland weird.

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"I don't know how to argue my existence with someone who has reviewed a gas station." ~~Laurie Notaro

TOPANGA's picture

Too funny! I love when the news interviews spacy weird white people, it takes the focus off of the usual ghetto ratchet people they somehow always end up interviewing in the hood (I swear they do that sh*t on purpose).

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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"

-Mean Girl,Regina George

winniwins's picture

This is the normal for Portland. The government is spiking the granola or Kombucha or some shit because every last person in a 20 mile radius from city center is a wackadoodle.

Tyroan's picture

Jesus, I miss pdx.

RichBitch's picture

Why wasn't this amazing woman a Hot Slut of the Day?

rosehips69's picture

She reminds me of Alf from one of the best shows ever, "Green Acres." http://www.maggiore.net/greenacres/ga15.asp

And that sweater! Whoever called it a hairball was right!

Orangina's picture

It would've been funnier if the guy was a colonoscopy doctor or something, and she was like "I can't remember his name...He's seen my asshole. Anyway..."