This Is Somebody's Mother
In case you missed it on Monday night's episode of Teen Mom 2, here's the mouth breathing, meth brow-having drop of coke smegma Jenelle Evans making yet another excellent life decision. Jenelle violated probation by getting an F- on a random drug test and she was given two choices: serve around two weeks in jail or stay on probation for another year. The 20-year-old pile of garbage disposal gunk chose to sit in jail for two weeks, because she didn't want to go through another year of having to stay away from her bong (and probably because she wanted a two week vacation from her kid).
In this touching scene, Jenelle's lawyer tells her the start date for her jail sentence and she immediately barfs glitter all over that date. Jenelle can't start serving her jail sentence that day and her excuse for why she can't is probably the worst excuse ever given for anything in the history of excuse-making. Jenelle can't go to jail that day because she has to go to a Ke$hit concert! She got feathers in her hair for it! Bitch got clothes FOR the concert. You know you have successfully become a failure at life when your lawyer tells you that most of your legal troubles will be behind you if you check into jail on a certain day and these 3 trash nuggets fall out of your talk hole:
- "No, no, you don't understand. This is my idol. She's my idol and I'm never going to be able to see her again."
- "Like no one understands how important this concert is to me. It's not just a concert, it's Ke$ha. Like, it's the person. It's not 'Oh, I want to go to a random concert.' It's Ke$ha, like, my idol, the girl I watch videos on YouTube 30 times a day. I mean, I'm obsessed with this girl."
- "I know it sounds crazy, but if I have to stay on probation to see Ke$ha, it might be worth it."
That clip has to be the most effective anti-drug PSA ever. It's even making me consider breaking up with my bong.
In the end, Jenelle's dumb ass failed another random drug test and got arrested. Jenelle is currently serving 3 life sentences in a maximum security prison and it's not because she failed two drugs tests. It's because she admitted that Ke$hit is her idol.
via Too Fab
• 
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 2:17pm.
----------------------------------------------
LMAO @ str8 tuna aficionados
Oh sucky!
the eyes tell me all i need to know. no need to click "play."
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Glambert on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 2:14pm.
Sucky your comments were actually pretty lucid for a few weeks and now you have reverted to old form.
Did you go off your meds again? LOL
-------------------------------------------------
That's hysterical honey, I'll make sure my people (aka str8 tuna aficionados) put you on the "funny" island.
-------------------------------------------------
Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Jenelles goal in life is to "Wake up in the mornin' feeling like P. Diddy"
Sorry, I couldn't resist
Sucky your comments were actually pretty lucid for a few weeks and now you have reverted to old form.
Did you go off your meds again? LOL
Please post the short clip of Redneck, chaw chewing,Corey saying to Leah "now why exactly are we gettin' a divorce? Is it because of the truck really?"
Both thes scenes had me laughing and rewinding to see if that is what I actually heard.
There is so much funny stuff on Teen Mom. And this is why its a hit TV show.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:58pm.
Fags love nasty looking women because it reminds them of themselves.
-----------
Hahahahahahaa hawt like buttah
----------------------------------------------
"A Muppet and his money are soon parted." ~ Lu32Cy (aka Lucifer Sam)
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by D-vine Lister on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 2:01pm.
Soooo....When do you depart to your island?? You will be missed dearly sucky wucky **sniffles** **lips quiver**
-----------------------------------------------
NEVER! We are a 100% fish demolishing extravaganza!!!!
------------------------------------------------
Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Gross!! We are not into faggot idolatry! We are into the idea of putting all fags on an island and letting them die off on their own ( they will die of AIDS without infecting the general population!!)
**************************
Soooo....When do you depart to your island?? You will be missed dearly sucky wucky **sniffles** **lips quiver**
Submitted by Bossy on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:54pm.
@suckandfuck, WTF is people's obsession with Barbra Streisand? The only place I like Barbra Streisand song I like is the one by Duck Sauce. Also, why change your name from Barbara to Barbra? Silly.
-----------------------------------------------
Fags love nasty looking women because it reminds them of themselves.
-------------------------------------------------
Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:45pm.
Submitted by WendyNerd on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:34pm.
You know, things like this make me want to give up on trying to defend my generation.
----------------
Defending your generation (I assume you are close to this chick's age) seems like it would be an exhausting effort... *side eyes 17 yo daughter* God bless you all.
~!~!~!~!~
I'm a year older than this Evans chick and yes, it is exhausting. It's part of the reason I was a huge loner in High School. Though now that I look back on my High School years, I know that the fact that I listened to Velvet Underground didn't make me better than the kids obsessed with Akon. I was a pretty awful teenager. Most teenagers are pretty awful. The good thing about college is that I've grown out of a lot of that self-obsessed bullshit and met people like me. The best and most important thing about High School is the end. Unfortunately, a lot of people, like this moron Janelle, don't allow High School to end because those were their glory years.
Butterfly in the sky
I can go twice as high
Take a look
It's in a book
Pig-fucking movie
Pig-fucking movie
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:50pm.
SUCKY MOTHERFUCKER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
SING WITH ME, QUEER!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj10EzNKA2M
I will sing Bahbrah's part!!!
--------------------------------------------
Gross!! We are not into faggot idolatry! We are into the idea of putting all fags on an island and letting them die off on their own ( they will die of AIDS without infecting the general population!!)
-------------------------------------------------
Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
My idea will sound fascist, but here goes. (It isn't entirely fleshed out), but if a mother is found to be negligent or abusive to her child, she should be implanted with temporary birth control. I'm not talking complete sterilization. I'm just saying that until an appropriate amount of time has gone by without incident (with CPS check-ups), THEN she can reproduce again.
I KNOW it takes two to make a baby. However, I can't see any other way.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
@suckandfuck, WTF is people's obsession with Barbra Streisand? The only place I like Barbra Streisand song I like is the one by Duck Sauce. Also, why change your name from Barbara to Barbra? Silly.
Submitted by Rem Koolhaas on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:50pm.
They only have 2 rows at Kesha concerts. If more people showed up, they would have to clear out the sale displays in the Foot Locker!
----------------------------------------
I lol'd
SUCKY MOTHERFUCKER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
SING WITH ME, QUEER!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj10EzNKA2M
I will sing Bahbrah's part!!!
----------------------------------------------
"A Muppet and his money are soon parted." ~ Lu32Cy (aka Lucifer Sam)
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
They only have 2 rows at Kesha concerts. If more people showed up, they would have to clear out the sale displays in the Foot Locker!
I wonder if she realizes what she sounds like. Probably not.
At least it wasn't for some BARBARA STRESISAND concert! UGH!! disgusting.
-------------------------------------------------
Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
I'd say skipping court way back when to see Pink Floyd was definitely justified...keisha that's just I don't even know beyond sad
To be fair, though, by the time she gets out of jail Kesha will have retired.
Submitted by perky on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:46pm.
I'm just spit-balling
---------------
that sounded hot....
----------------------------------------------
"A Muppet and his money are soon parted." ~ Lu32Cy (aka Lucifer Sam)
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by WendyNerd on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:46pm.
It's not just your generation. I'm sure this twit's mama skipped bail to see Bananarama or something equally stupid.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Dying laughing
Submitted by WendyNerd on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:46pm.
It's not just your generation. I'm sure this twit's mama skipped bail to see Bananarama or something equally stupid.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Dying laughing
I don't normally wish people dead, but in this case...I don't know, I'm just spit-balling here. Forget I said anything...
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:42pm.
Submitted by WendyNerd on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:34pm.
You know, things like this make me want to give up on trying to defend my generation.
_______________________________
It's not just your generation. I'm sure this twit's mama skipped bail to see Bananarama or something equally stupid. She sure as hell never taught her that you have to be able to take care of yourself before you drag anyone else into the mix. Too many morons having babies to have "someone to love them". It's not always a lack of bc. A lot of them WANT babies, baby showers, and all the perks of mommyhood without understanding the work involved.
~!~!~!~!~
Kind of like those women who obsess over their weddings without really considering the marriage part.
Butterfly in the sky
I can go twice as high
Take a look
It's in a book
Pig-fucking movie
Pig-fucking movie
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:42pm.
I'm sure this twit's mama skipped bail to see Bananarama
=====================================
LOL!
Submitted by WendyNerd on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:34pm.
You know, things like this make me want to give up on trying to defend my generation.
----------------
Defending your generation (I assume you are close to this chick's age) seems like it would be an exhausting effort... *side eyes 17 yo daughter* God bless you all.
----------------------------------------------
"A Muppet and his money are soon parted." ~ Lu32Cy (aka Lucifer Sam)
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
Jenelle, bring me your kid NOW. This bitch needs a f-in reality check. And if I were her lawyer, I would have slapped her so hard she would have seen some stars for FREE!
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:40pm.
Whamo ;) See, your trip was for David muthafuyin Bowie though!! It's comparing apples to dog crap.
==========================================
LOL, I was speaking more to obsession rather than quality of music. I mean the day compare Ke$ha to Bowie is the day I drive into on coming traffic with a Ke$ha album playing backwards...I don't even really know what that means.... BUT it AINT good! :D
Kesha??? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
OMG! I thought it was KEY-Shah! I'm like so totally embarrassed! America is getting better every day.
I'll bet she's making A LOT of money having her trashiness on full display on a tv show devoted to similar train wrecks.
Submitted by WendyNerd on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:34pm.
You know, things like this make me want to give up on trying to defend my generation.
_______________________________
It's not just your generation. I'm sure this twit's mama skipped bail to see Bananarama or something equally stupid. She sure as hell never taught her that you have to be able to take care of yourself before you drag anyone else into the mix. Too many morons having babies to have "someone to love them". It's not always a lack of bc. A lot of them WANT babies, baby showers, and all the perks of mommyhood without understanding the work involved.
Whamo ;) See, your trip was for David muthafuyin Bowie though!! It's comparing apples to dog crap.
fucking tweekers really need shit to do other than stand in front of a mirror and pick at their face... I'm not one to notice people's eyebrows but damn... looks like a couple of hyphens having a stare off.
----------------------------------------------
"A Muppet and his money are soon parted." ~ Lu32Cy (aka Lucifer Sam)
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:17pm.
D-vine Lister -- they should also run some sort of program where they run the pictures of the 2 would-be parents together and if the would-be baby turns out ugly, they reject them, too. Too many ugly people walking around as well. And usually the ugly people that have kids always parade their damn babies around with those fucking headbands with those gigantic flowers the size of the kid's head -- not a good look when your kid looks like something out of the experiment closet on "American Horror Story," okay?
*************************
AH HAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHA I just spit my coffee out all over my desk, too funny.. but true! You wouldnt be referring to Kourt Kardash would you?? LOL!!!!
You know, things like this make me want to give up on trying to defend my generation.
Butterfly in the sky
I can go twice as high
Take a look
It's in a book
Pig-fucking movie
Pig-fucking movie
Bring back the stocks!!!
*bangs pitchfork on the ground*
Lmao!
****************
"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
Sigh. Mothers like this add to my justification for there being no sky god. Satan, on the other hand has show he's real through the existence of Crocs, mothers like this, and Keshit.
I need a drink.
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:30pm.
*ring ring* "Yeah jail? Uh, I'm gonna have to reschedule my appointment. It's not convenient for me."
============================================
Bawahaaaaaaahahaahahaha!
*ring ring* "Yeah jail? Uh, I'm gonna have to reschedule my appointment. It's not convenient for me."
Wowza.
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by vsminimoose on Wed, 11/28/2012 - 1:25pm.
"I really can't, like I really....can't. I mean that's why I've got all these feathers in mai hair."
---------------------------------------------
LOL, I broke out laughing when she said that too!
Hahaha. This is so fucking sad.
I would laugh but when I was 18 I flew to California to see Bowie for the first time,
Mind you it was the US Festival and I saw about 30 bands but the reason I went was to see Bowie.
Spent a week bumming through LA, Malibu, Hot Springs, Hollywood, and we drove out to Vegas to boot. It was awesome
MK why you so hard on Kesha? At least she owns her trashiness, not like others who pretend to be squeaky clean but you know they are just as disgusting (ahem Miley Cyrus, Kristen Stewart).
"I really can't, like I really....can't. I mean that's why I've got all these feathers in mai hair."
AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
This behavior was resoundly reinforced lately I do believe. I think it is her human right to attend Ke$ha and I think we should pay for it and the babysitter for her kid. Please have a half dozen more chilluns, young voter. Reap the rewards owed to you.