Saturday, December 1st 2012

Hot Slut Of The Day!

HitClips, the iPod of the late 90s.

Sometime in the late 90s, McDonald's introduced a plastic musical wonder to the world called HitClips. Just like most of the crap McDonald's sells, HitClips were pretty cheap, total shit quality and kind of addictive. (Side note: But not AS addicted as that annoying ass Monopoly game. I still find those dumb Monopoly pieces everywhere. I find them in the ashtray in people's cars, under sofa seats and I'm pretty sure I have farted one out at least twice. They are worse than roaches.)

HitClips were tiny plastic cartridges and to play them you shoved them in a tiny plastic player. The sound quality was damn awful, but I didn't care, because I was too busy being wowed by the magic of music coming out of a tiny plastic boom box. Seriously, a warped cassette tape playing on a boom box with low batteries sounded better than HitClips. HitClips didn't even play the whole song either. They only played a minute of it or so. Just when you were getting into it, it would stop playing. It was like getting blue balls of the ears. But then again, most of my HitClips were Brit Brit songs, so maybe they were doing me a favor?

Anyway, HitClips! Gone but not (totally) forgotten!

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ILovePapaSmurf's picture

I remember this commercial like it was yesterday. Oh my god. I'm getting so fucking old.
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.

I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."

Anonymouse73's picture

"Submitted by yucko on Sun, 12/02/2012 - 10:01am.

Speaking of music services, how many other people abused those CD music warehouse things they had in magazines where you would get your first 12 (+/-) CDs basically free when you signed up, and then obviously never ordered anything again? How were they making money from that?
"

I joined that 2x...but it stipulated that you had to buy a number of other cd's within such and such a time in order to get the 12 for free...after that I think they would come after you. :P

TheBreakdown's picture

I don't really eat McDonald's, but I at least should have heard about these. I don't remember this shit at ALL.

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yucko's picture

Speaking of music services, how many other people abused those CD music warehouse things they had in magazines where you would get your first 12 (+/-) CDs basically free when you signed up, and then obviously never ordered anything again? How were they making money from that?

Chubby.Cox's picture

I remember these! I had the Britney ones too, I remember they used to sell sets of them at Toys R Us after they got popular at Mcdonalds, they were cheaper at Toys R Us too.

LisaRose's picture

Biggest thing I won from the Monopoly game was 2 5x7 prints from some online service that I didn't even bother to do.

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LisaRose's picture

My then 8 yr old found a bunch of these at a thrift store a few years and she thought they were the coolest thing! Because of it, whenever she hears an Aaron Carter song, it makes her smile! LOL Don't remember these being given away at McDonalds.

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movedtocomment's picture

How did I miss this?? They are adorable though!

Heave Ho Yoko's picture

Original external app that dates back to the era of the beeper, and as giant as a 1970's IBM computer compared to the digital apps of today. The Hamburglar did the pricing, because they charged $4 PER SONG!!!

Mel-Tang's picture

I think this is the first hot slut I don't remember. I never had one of these. I was having my first kid around that time, so maybe that's why.

And I've never won anything significant in the Monopoly game. Just free breakfast sandwiches and drinks. My son makes me go there every day when they have that damn thing. They give you more game pieces during breakfast for some reason.

L* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *

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parissucksliterally's picture

The girl I was a Nanny for in 2000-2006 had these!!!

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Oh little baby, what we had was good
How come you don't call me anymore?

elmo533's picture

I remember the commercial, but not Hit Clips. Anyone remember mini discs?

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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK

upstatestruggler's picture

There was a version of this is the late 80s, too, I think but every time I've tried to google it these motherfuckers come up. Curses. I feel like the name was alliterative, not pocket rockers as someone mentioned...they played the whole song if I'm not mistaken...my parents wouldn't get it for me. I remember them laughing at what a lame concept it was and instead gave me a couple of blank tapes to rip some sick radio mixes.

"the only thing his face should host is a fist" MK

LoveMaster5000's picture

Pocket Rockers was a better music toy. Tiny 8-tracks you could carry around and listen to Tiffany!!

Werd.

innuendo's picture

i have been trying to remember what these things were called for years holy shit

shandi's picture

So did these just play one song? Were they prizes in happy meals?

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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK

MizRo's picture

What are these? Where was I? Whatever, it doesn't matter - never been into Spears.

kortni_thegreat's picture

"Human decency is not derived from religion. It precedes it." Christopher Hitchens
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OMG MY CHILDHOOD! I remember I got one when I was 6, it's was all Britney Spears, I loved her back then, and it was the day before 9/11. So now, in my mind, Britney Spears=9/11.

HollyG's picture

I must've been too busy doing hood rat shit then bc I have zero recollection of this too & I had to be 14-15 at the time.

"I love how he's staring at the camera like, 'Someone call an AMBER ALERT, because you will get lost in these eyes.'" - MK

Foxxy Brown's picture

i must have been passed out that year. no clue about these.

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Esteem's picture

Hmm, first one of your retro throw-backs in a really long time, that I don't remember.

D.R.'s picture

I miss really weird giveaways, like they used to have with happy meals and cereal.

__________________________________________________
"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.

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Anonymouse73's picture

"1-800-MUSICNOW (or something like that) was an over-the-phone CD selling service that would allow you to listen to clips of the music before you buy. I used to just call in to listen to clips of my favorite songs. I was probably not the only one clogging up the phone lines and not paying because one day they began requiring a credit card in order to sample the music. Bullshit."

Holy crap! I had totally forgotten about that little gem. I, too, used to call in and clog up the lines. Ah, memories.

I too use to call 1-800-MUSICNOW or whatever it was and listen to music for free. That was around '96 or '97 I think.

ImpertinentVixen's picture

I have no memory of these things. I agree about the omnipresence of the Monopoly pieces, though. My kids collected a bunch and pasted them on the paper playing board numerous times. We never won anything and was more of a pita than anything.

boredasfuckyo's picture

Wait, those didn't come free with a happy meal? Who would pay 4 dollars for a minute of a shitty song?

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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."

katy_alvarez's picture

1-800-MUSICNOW (or something like that) was an over-the-phone CD selling service that would allow you to listen to clips of the music before you buy. I used to just call in to listen to clips of my favorite songs. I was probably not the only one clogging up the phone lines and not paying because one day they began requiring a credit card in order to sample the music. Bullshit.

can be a pushy broad's picture

Totally missed these.

Lesbian Sourfruit's picture

Awww, that was back when Brit Brit was still Britney ;( *chola tear*

megank's picture

I had a BSB or NSYNC one, I can't remember which.

WithinReason...'s picture

Brit Brit looks cute in the clip! Don't go to McD's much so not surprised I missed these things! lol

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Half.Mexican.Wonder's picture

Blue balls of the ears! haha! *Chortle*

Green Tea Latte's picture

They mostly played the chorus or hook of the song...

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Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing. I see him starring at me, I see what he wants be
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>:- (
Mr. Mercury

Green Tea Latte's picture

Um MK these came in the summer of 2000 so more like early 2000's...and yeah I had the Brit ones...probably still somewhere in my moms basement.

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Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing. I see him starring at me, I see what he wants be
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>:- (
Mr. Mercury

mike's picture

I don't remember these at all.

Albatross's picture

I barely remember these. Why did they only play a portion of the songs? What a ripoff.

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No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart.

sinjin's picture

Why wear them on your throat like some sort of jacked up IV port line?

Pas_De_Chat's picture

It's so weird to see Britney onstage and wearing clothes. Like, an actual pair of pants and a shirt. I'm so used to seeing a bra and fishnets.
Also weird to see her happy. Man, maybe it would have been better for her health if that era was the zenith of her career.

Anita Bidet's picture

i prefer ClitClips

whippersnapper's picture

"They only played a minute of it or so. Just when you were getting into it, it would stop playing. It was like getting blue balls of the ears."

And this is one of the many reasons why I keep coming back to the almighty D, little gems like this.

I don't remember these, but then I never go to McD's.

Darknight's picture

Maybe all the wine i drink has wiped out my memory but i don't remember these. They look like something i would have been hassling my mom for.

Has anyone actually ever won the monopoly game or is it some colossal scam?