Lindsay Lohan Was Set Up, So Says Lindsay Lohan
When are the police going to stop unjustly arresting Lindsay Lohan and start investigating the ongoing crack hunt campaign to take her down? That 8-ball in her pocket? That's not her 8-ball, because that's not her pocket. Those aren't even her pants! She's never seen those pants in her life and doesn't know how they got on her body. That stolen necklace dangling out of her snatch? That's not even her snatch. It's the black kid's snatch! That baby in a stroller she almost ran over? That baby hurled itself and its stroller in front of her car! LiLo doesn't commit crimes, crimes are committed against her. Everyone is out to get her. I bet even the police are in on it. Shit, the police are probably reading this. You should take your laptop into the bathroom and turn on the shower while you read this, so the police won't be able to see it.
Of course, Lindsay Lohan didn't punch that Florida psychic on Thursday morning. Tiffany Mitchell isn't the victim here, LiLo is. According to TMZ, LiLo is telling her friends that Miss Cleo's apprentice offered LiLo a free reading at the club and after she turned the psychic down, the psychic's friends started crowding around her fancy purse, which was sitting on a nearby table. LiLo thinks they were trying to snatch her Celine purse and you can't thieve from a thief, so she got in Tiffany's face. LiLo says she did call her a "gypsy," but she didn't know that's a racial slur. LiLo never put her fist on Tiffany's face and thinks she was set up.
Page Six has a different story. Their source says that LiLo thought Tiffany and Tiffany's friends stole Ali Lohan's purse, which had $10,000 cash in it. So LiLo confronted them about it. The source went on to say some shit:
“Lindsay was saying, ‘I was trying to find out who stole Ali’s purse! I gave her the money for my family, to pay for my brother’s school fees!’ Lindsay says she never hit the girl. She just went over to find if they had her sister’s purse. They were looking around the area, but the girl was sitting at the table, and some pushing started. Lindsay says the purse was never found. She’s desperate to find where the money is.”
Oh yes, $10,000... That's funny, because that's the exact amount crack whores accuse the police of taking from their change cup when they're arrested outside of a 7-Eleven.
And as we all laugh at this mess, I'm sure that a gang of little black kids wearing Lindsay Lohan masks are counting ten thousand dollars in their super villain lair. The TAKE THAT CRACKIE DOWN mission is going according to plan. I bet Latarian Milton is their leader.
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WTF was Ali Buttons doing at a nightclub at 4AM? Anyway Uncle Sam has gotten wise to her fuckery and has seized all her accounts. http://www.tmz.com/2012/12/03/lindsay-lohan-irs-bank-accounts-taxes/
oh and another thing: I NEVER NEVER NE.VAH leave my purse unattended especially if there's 10K in it. Fucking morons.
Hahaha... and now we find out why blowhan was carrying $10k in cash instead of wiring it into her brother's account: the IRS has seized her bank accounts for not paying her income taxes: http://www.tmz.com/2012/12/03/lindsay-lohan-irs-bank-accounts-taxes/
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
And what you're saying is that there are guys out there that would permit her to suck their dicks and possibly even pay for it. Surely you jest.
Go fuck yourself, bitch. Anyone with $10,000 in their purse at a club at 4am is either buying a shitload of drrrrrugs or sucking dicks for cash. And if that's your best excuse, then you're a gutter skank anyway.
She had 10,000 dollars in her purse? So she blew 10 guys who had a thousand on them? She should have been home by 4 am douching her mouth instead of punching barflies.
Submitted by fauve on Sun, 12/02/2012 - 12:44pm.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sun, 12/02/2012 - 11:13am.
"Who among us hasn't been raving in a club on a Wednesday night at 4 a.m., punching gypsies and shit?"
I can't stop laughing at this and it might need to become my signature.
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Giggle. Feel free friend!
My absolute favorite blowhan story: She was to be paid $250,000 to be the date of a European Count at his yearly party. He paid for her plane ticket & gown & everything else; all she had to do was stumble drunkenly onto the plane & she'd be 1/4 million richer. Well, she missed the flight by over 2 hours because she was "shopping & couldn't understand why they didn't hold the commercial airline flight & inconvenience the other 150 passengers just for her". What a stupid little whore...
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Submitted by Cowjam on Sun, 12/02/2012 - 7:33am.
My favorite: When she missed a scheduled court appearance to attend a celebrity-studded gala grand opening of a luxury resort in Morocco: "But I was in Morocco, helping the CHILDREN!!!"
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Hahahaha..these are all funny. Remember when she was in Cannes in 2010 (or as Paris Hilton would say, some place in the country of Europe) and she missed a hearing back in LA because SOMEONE STOLE HER PASSPORT?!!!!!!
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Submitted by Mani6 on Sat, 12/01/2012 - 10:34pm.
Way to set yourself up as targets. Next time Hohan or Ali go out to a bar don't you think people will be wondering if they have a LOT of cash in their purses?
............
I was thinking the same thing.
Next time I need 10k, I know who to go bop over the head and steal their purse.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Submitted by Mani6 on Sun, 12/02/2012 - 10:24am.
"I don't smoke, just had to do it for a movie".
............................................
Hahahaha!
Isn't $10,000 the amount she had "stolen" in Hawaii? This money is "stolen" so she can buy dope and write it off. That's what she's doing. And the $40,000 for her mom must have been a real big deal. I bet her mom set up a dope deal and she was supposed to fund it for $40,000. Then she realized what she was doing but it was too late because her mom already promised some ruthless gangster she'd have the cash. I think she's a big dope dealer.
$10,000? So if I'm paying my brother's school fees which are %10,000 I'd probably write a CHECK? Maybe? One thing I wouldn't do is carry the cash around in a packed club. Oh. Unless I wasn't really paying for school fees but I was making a dope deal! Then I would do that! Now it all makes sense.
http://13-mitred-abbots.tumblr.com/
You guys are great. I had forgotton some of these lies.
This failed abortion of a person has to carry around shitloads of cash because if she ever stuck any of it in a bank account, the IRS would instantly garnish the shit out of it for all of the back taxes she owes. And she knows it.
Do I think, in spite of that, that she was toting around 10k to help pay for her bro's school? HAHAHAHA OH HELLS NO.
I hope Miss Cleo 2: Electric Boogaloo fucks. her. UP. in court.
I am so weary of this bitch.
Lets not forget her Superstorm Sandy, Mitt Romney tweets, she is such a philosophical victim the whole world is out to,get her obviously....poor precious child!!
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sun, 12/02/2012 - 11:13am.
"Who among us hasn't been raving in a club on a Wednesday night at 4 a.m., punching gypsies and shit?"
I can't stop laughing at this and it might need to become my signature.
"Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sun, 12/02/2012 - 11:13am.
Come on, people. Don't act all superior like you never left your purse with 10K in it in a club booth. WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE. Who among us hasn't been raving in a club on a Wednesday night at 4 a.m., punching gypsies and shit? DON'T GET ALL UP IN HER BIDNESS WITH YOUR JUDGE-MENTY LITTLE SHOES.
"
Omg. It's like you can see my life!!
Come on, people. Don't act all superior like you never left your purse with 10K in it in a club booth. WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE. Who among us hasn't been raving in a club on a Wednesday night at 4 a.m., punching gypsies and shit? DON'T GET ALL UP IN HER BIDNESS WITH YOUR JUDGE-MENTY LITTLE SHOES.
Well...maybe the set up with Michael Lohan cutting off Blohole in an 18 wheeler will still work.
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"I don't smoke, just had to do it for a movie".
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Is it my imagination/laptop monitor, or does her skin actually look really good in this picture? Seriously, how is that possible? I'm not saying SHE looks good, but her skin looks really clear and smooth and yet not caked with makeup.
doesn't anyone in this LocoFamily have a checkbook?
My favorite: When she missed a scheduled court appearance to attend a celebrity-studded gala grand opening of a luxury resort in Morocco: "But I was in Morocco, helping the CHILDREN!!!"
Two more of my all-time favorite Blowhan lies:
"I wasn't drinking; someone spilled alcohol on me & it set off the alarm" (even though the alarm company tech proved this was impossible)
"It wasn't cocaine in the baggie that the cops spilled; it was a crushed breath mint"
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Submitted by lislop on Sun, 12/02/2012 - 1:18am.
I've noticed that ever since Amanda Bynes started stealing the trainwreck headlines with her drunk driving arrests, BLOWhan really upped her game
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Come to think of it lislop has a point.
What a fucking retard she is!
I've noticed that ever since Amanda Bynes started stealing the trainwreck headlines with her drunk driving arrests, BLOWhan really upped her game.
"Thanks Dr. Dorfman for the Zoom!" (Tweeted after she got veneers installed over her corroded meth fangs that no Zoom whitening treatment could restore).
"I don't drink, do drugs or lie" is the all-time classic Lohan quotation, though.
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
"It was sea jasper, not crack"
"I stay home every night"
"I have asthma"
"I wasn't passed out; I was just sleeping and they called the paramedics"
"I've never been drunk on set"
This story was giving me deja vu, so I took a trip down memory lane and soon came across this story from almost exactly one year ago:
http://thecelebritycafe.com/feature/lindsay-lohan-s-purse-stolen-hawaii-...
Weird how she hasn't managed to learn not to leave expensive purses containing $10,000 lying around unattended. . .
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
GG - that is just sick that someone is willing to pay that much to fuck this piece of shit.
Where's the IRS when you need them...10k just sitting in a handbag.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Can you only imagine having a mother/father putting their ass on the line constantly lying for you? Cops have you for shop lifting, Mom swears nope not my kid. Busted for dope, nope her Dad is making it up. Just all the shit this chick gets in to imagine the ass kicking we'd get at home not even including the cop shop. Have any of you ever even seen this broad in real life? Is she for real or synthetic? No one gets away with this pile of cow shit.
Oh...another recent lie..."My twitter account was hacked". Bitch drunk tweets then deletes them!
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"I was drinking kombucha, not alcohol!"
"I didn't steal that necklace!"
And don't forget everyone's favorite:
"The black kid did it!"
Oh my turn, my turn.
I wasn't driving.
*****
My turn:
"My mother doesn't use cocaine!"
Way to set yourself up as targets. Next time Hohan or Ali go out to a bar don't you think people will be wondering if they have a LOT of cash in their purses?
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LOL! Seriously I hope she keeps a book of lies for herself...how could she possibly remember all of them.
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Submitted by Get Serious on Sat, 12/01/2012 - 9:45pm.
Submitted by Craigypants on Sat, 12/01/2012 - 9:19pm.
Bitch has told sooooooo many lies I can't keep up, Lets start a list.
* Her passport was stolen
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My turn...
* That's not my cocaine in my pocket, because these are not my pants I'm wearing.
_____________________________________________________
"I was drinking kombucha, not alcohol!"
"I didn't steal that necklace!"
And don't forget everyone's favorite:
"The black kid did it!"
Oh my turn, my turn.
I wasn't driving.
She is just foul. What is up with those chipmunk cheeks? Does she store her drugs in there? Just awful.
Submitted by Get Serious on Sat, 12/01/2012 - 9:45pm.
Submitted by Craigypants on Sat, 12/01/2012 - 9:19pm.
Bitch has told sooooooo many lies I can't keep up, Lets start a list.
* Her passport was stolen
--------------------------------------------
My turn...
* That's not my cocaine in my pocket, because these are not my pants I'm wearing.
_____________________________________________________
"I was drinking kombucha, not alcohol!"
"I didn't steal that necklace!"
And don't forget everyone's favorite:
"The black kid did it!"
_______________________________________________
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
I've never met a person who's been "set up" as much as she has been. And say what you want, bitch has had work done.
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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
Submitted by Craigypants on Sat, 12/01/2012 - 9:19pm.
HA This bitch never fails to deliver. Just when your life seems like shit Lohan comes back to make you feel better about yourself. Why is her brother in a private school? WO has no job is nearly bankrupt and owes over $1.5 million, how do they earn a living? Bitch has told sooooooo many lies I can't keep up, Lets start a list.
* Her passport was stolen
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My turn...
* That's not my cocaine in my pocket, because these are not my pants I'm wearing.
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
ME - 10k is what she charges to be used as a human toilet.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Why is it always $10,000?
UGH! This fucking cunt. You all think I'm a bitch because I want her dead but what does she contribute to society? NOTHING? She's a fucking MENACE! She doesn't vote, pay her taxes or obey the law. FUCK HER!
HA This bitch never fails to deliver. Just when your life seems like shit Lohan comes back to make you feel better about yourself. Why is her brother in a private school? WO has no job is nearly bankrupt and owes over $1.5 million, how do they earn a living? Bitch has told sooooooo many lies I can't keep up, Lets start a list.
* Her passport was stolen
Submitted by caffeinecrazed on Sat, 12/01/2012 - 8:23pm.
The next headline that I want to read about Crackhands is 'LiLo is now somebody's prison bitch'.
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What about: TRAGIC FATAL ACCIDENT ON THE ROAD TO NOWHERE! ALL LOHANS DEAD!!
Article: Road to nowhere at 10pm, the car in which all Lohan family members were travelling suddenly lost control and smashed into a tree, there were no survivors. The tree was unharmed as was everybody else who was on that road at that time.
The Lohans were heading to somewhere in nowhere. They chose the christmas holidays for an all family vacation to settle all their feuds.
Charly Sheen twitters: She owed me 10 grands! Goddamn she's dead!
But well, a prison sentence might be a start. But I somehow doubt that this would change anything - they're too stupid and get too much attention.
Edit: The police suspects that the tree purposely stepped onto the road.
Hahahaha,very good tomahawk.
The next headline that I want to read about Crackhands is 'LiLo is now somebody's prison bitch'.
OMG, Lindsay should leave NY stat! There have to be, literally, tens of people roaming around, searching for her, to set her up and steal her bj bucks!!! Hide your bj bucks, Linds! Hide. Your. Bj bucks!!