Open Post: Hosted By A Royal Prank
You'd think that you would need some kind of secret code (SPOILER ALERT: the code is "PippasBum") to talk to the nurse who is caring for Duchess Kate's knocked up ass, but you don't. The only things you need are an awful British accent and Corgi jokes. Mel and Michael, the hosts of a show on Sydney's 2Day FM radio station, tried to prank their way into talking to Kate Middleton. Mel pretended to be Kate's memaw-in-law and Michael pretended to be Prince Charles and their British accents were so damn awful that they made Madonna sound like she came out of the Queen's vagine.
They asked "Is Kate there?" and were immediately transferred to the nurse's station. The nurse bought all of it. The nurse didn't really say anything, but damn, she's easy to fool. While they had her on the line, they should've asked her for a copy of the hi-res picture the hospital took of Prince Hot Ginge's peen when he was there to have some warts looked at. The nurse would've e-mailed it to them!
Poor, gullible ass nurse. When the Queen finds out about this, the nurse will be lucky to get a job changing Camilla's tampon. ("That job is not available!" - Prince Charles)
Here's Prince William, Kate's hot brother and Pippa visiting her in the hospital today.
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Oh Bebeh, You need to get some caffeine and dark chocolate back in your life. *wags devilish red tail* Has it been a glum week for you? *Something out of One Hour Photo? Not good!* Here I thought you'd be all excited it's mid-week and we're 2 1/2 weeks until the holidays!! Not new hot baristas on duty?
I've been good, trying to make it to December in one piece! Was sick last week, I think you gave me something last time you dropped in, LOL Hey I saw your link to the new Ellie song! ♡♡ *sending you some cheer* How are the little ones?
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Bacon,
So sorry bout that! Sending good vibes your way.
Being single sucks sometimes. Especially around the holidays, blah. That is all.
Submitted by BaconSlut on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 7:39pm.
hola, horz.
Popping in for a bit before making dinner to ask everyhooker to send good vibes (or beerz, or bong hits--whatever makes your peanut butter Skippy) to Papa Bacon. He had a fall in the bathroom late last night and is in the hospital with a fractured C7 vertebra. No spinal cord injury, thank Cod! Hoping to get him back home some time this weekend.
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Sorry to hear about Mr. Bacon's injury slutty but he gets a high five from me cuz he gets to stay in bed all day while his properteee, uh, his wimmens wait on him hand and bare feets. Sending my best wishes. Let's get busy wit dem sammiches now. :P
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What's the difference between God and Bono? God doesn't walk the streets of Dublin thinking he's Bono.
Submitted by bambam on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 7:53pm.
It's better than putting them on her bush.
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SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Anything Could Happen
Hanging in there, Within. Having fun exploring teas with the baristas - going upstairs to work hasn't been as pleasurable. To top it off, had a woman of a larger size overlap onto me last night on the train while reading her Kindle.
You?
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SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Anything Could Happen
Haha bambam,
I think you just did. Thanks for the imagery.
*seriously trying to find a way to make "she put the beads in my tree" into something sexually offensive*
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What's the difference between God and Bono? God doesn't walk the streets of Dublin thinking he's Bono.
Submitted by BaconSlut on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 7:39pm
Wishing the best and quick heal for Papa Bacon.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 7:44pm
Hi Twatty:)
HOLY SHIT! SOMEONE COME STRAP ME DOWN! MY MIL DID THE UNTHINKABLE!
I had these red beads to drape around the tree and then decided not to put them on.
Well the kids told her that I said last night that I wanted HER to put them on the tree. She knows how fucking anal I am about my tree, after 11 years you would think she would know better. Anyfuckinggoingatomichere, SHE PUT THE BEADS ON MY TREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Exuse me. I need a moment.
Hi Bebeh, how you been?
@Baconslut, sorry to hear that. Good vibes to your dad and speedy recovery!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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*
What's up, all?
Sorry to hear about Papa Bacon. Sending wishes for a speedy recovery.
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SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Anything Could Happen
pushy -- hey, hon!
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
Hola, horz.
Popping in for a bit before making dinner to ask everyhooker to send good vibes (or beerz, or bong hits--whatever makes your peanut butter Skippy) to Papa Bacon. He had a fall in the bathroom late last night and is in the hospital with a fractured C7 vertebra. No spinal cord injury, thank Cod! Hoping to get him back home some time this weekend.
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Submitted by CashewTime. on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 7:33pm.
Hey Twatty, Within and HBM! I always cheer up when my girls are here. And Whamo, you are allowed in the salon as well :p.
Hi to everyone else also :).
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Someone was saying something about cliques the other day.......
~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j
"I'm doin ho activities, with ho energy. Ho's are my friends, ho's are my enemies."
Glambert, "Pearl clutch" anything has to be the DListed expression of the year. hahaha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 7:01pm.
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Twatty, not spreading Christmas cheer, Santa-dissing, and elf-bashing? Count me in! LOLOL
ETA: Hi Cashew!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Hey Twatty, Within and HBM! I always cheer up when my girls are here. And Whamo, you are allowed in the salon as well :p.
Hi to everyone else also :).
Glambert,
I think your avie is hilarious, but I wish the Jesuses were prettier. When I think Jesus, I think Gabriel Aubry lookalike. On my phone the asses also look too hairy. I would prefer something a little more romantic. Couldn't you put them in a field of flowers or something and have Fabio as the top and Aubrey as the bottom? I think that would be much less offensive ;p.
HBM -- if someone can't laugh at a Velveeta Jesus, what can they laugh at? Fuck that person! I think that's hysterical! I'll look out for Inky with his Santa hat, my little furball friend!
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
Submitted by Glambert on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 7:04pm
I think it's funny and if it offends you that is too bad. I already made an effort to not use the "c-word" just for you even though plenty of other people use it here. I think the bible is a big giant fairy tale and I'm tired of being oppressed by it so I'm returning the favor
I would hope you'd know by now that I would never be considered a fundamentalist and doubt very much if there are many reading D, well, Cookie maybe??? I don't know. Saying that Glambert,
I happen to believe that Jesus Christ is the savior and though I don't believe the entire bible is a fairy tale I do not take many many parts of it literally. Not at all. For instance, I love Christmas and Christmas songs and like the celebration of Christ's birth. I however have never believed in the "virgin" birth.
I know you quit saying that awful word for me Glambert and I am truly touched and appreciate you doing so. I also know that some people sill use it but I think maybe just some have rethought it and don't find a need to use it. Just like the F word and the N word.
My question was not meant to get you aggravated.
Sometimes Glambert, it's just a question.
I try to limit it to one a week.
I would like to say have faith Glambert but I do not think you'd like that. There will come a time, hopefully very soon, that science will put everything to rest and even the most radical fundamentalist will have to accept that a person's sexual preference is not a choice--it's biology and those fundamentalists you talk about
will HAVE to know that a person is what a person is and that is the way GOD made them. I hope that makes sense.
Has anyone read the Celestine prophesy?
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j
"I'm doin ho activities, with ho energy. Ho's are my friends, ho's are my enemies."
Submitted by Glambert
Not at all. It's meant to piss pearl clutching fundamentalists off...
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Way to go man. It is a bold step to put yourself out there with an offensive avatar directed at a group of people you dislike.
You really are making the internet a better place and teaching those bastards a lesson they won't forget!
Pat urself on the back!
Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 7:06pm.
Submitted by Brown-EyedGirl on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 7:02pm
Me either Brown Eye and I see what you are saying about the JFC. OK. Thanks for the clearing it up.
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We old girls have to stick together : )
I don't think Glammy is mean anyway; he's just sassy!
Dear Glambert, I was recently unfriended by someone on Facebook because I posted "offensive" Christian pictures....A Velveeta Jesus with the caption "Praise Cheesus!" Come on, that's funny. I don't think there are many people who deliberately try THAT hard to offend, aside from marginal groups of a few cretins with massive chips on their shoulders.
I on the other hand find happiness in photoshopping a hat onto my cat for the holiday season. Fa la la la la, etc.
Submitted by Brown-EyedGirl on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 7:02pm
Me either Brown Eye and I see what you are saying about the JFC. OK. Thanks for the clearing it up.
Can I go hire a bum to do this data entry shit for me? My eyes are bugging out of my head.
Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 6:58pm.
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Not at all. It's meant to piss pearl clutching fundamentalists off and is a play on words because it's a picture of "Jesus" plowing "Christ".
I think it's funny and if it offends you that is too bad. I already made an effort to not use the "c-word" just for you even though plenty of other people use it here. I think the bible is a big giant fairy tale and I'm tired of being oppressed by it so I'm returning the favor.
HBM -- cheer up, love! Put a Santa hat on Inky!
Your wish is my command, Twatty! Behold my new (actually old) pic of Inky getting festive! :D
Within -- hey, baby! Here I am, not spreading Christmas cheer, dissing Santa and bashing fucking Elves on the Shelf! Tee hee!!!
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
Submitted by Glambert on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 6:51pm.
Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 6:42pm.
Submitted by stefystef on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 6:39pm.
@Glambert, your avatar is blasphemous and scandalous... and very funny
I wonder how funny it would be if it was, Oh, I don't know, say Muhamad. We all know what
happens to homosexuals in the middle east.
Not so funny.
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But it's not and my avatar has NOTHING to do with what happens in the middle east.
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No, and my son served two tours in Iraq, and the locals would say "women for breeding, men for pleasure." They liked hot gay soldiers.
I'm not thrilled with your avie, but I'm not losing any sleep over it : )
I thought he's making fun of the saying on the pic.
Submitted by Glambert on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 6:51pm
This is a sincere question Glambert. What does your avie mean? I am not trying to be a smart ass. Are you saying Christ is gay?
What a waste of money that place was:
http://www.ketv.com/news/local-news/Firefighters-torch-Nebraska-mansion/...
Submitted by skinny fat on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 6:19pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:32pm.
That's SO mean. That's a baby BOY.
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LOL, was it!? I was just going for the white / blonde hair blue eye gag.
Heya Twatty! <3
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Ba-Buttons, Bambam, that's cool ass indeed.
*Unwinding and grooving after a long day*
*snaps fingers ever so subtly in your direction*
Thanks for sharing. ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 6:42pm.
Submitted by stefystef on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 6:39pm.
@Glambert, your avatar is blasphemous and scandalous... and very funny
I wonder how funny it would be if it was, Oh, I don't know, say Muhamad. We all know what
happens to homosexuals in the middle east.
Not so funny.
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But it's not and my avatar has NOTHING to do with what happens in the middle east.
annobanano -- that's funny about your albino friend!
GG -- hey, babe, I aim to please, what can I say?
HBM -- cheer up, love! Put a Santa hat on Inky!
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
Submitted by ba-buttons on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 6:26pm.
RIP Dave Brubeck. 'Take Five' was one cool ass tune.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmDDOFXSgAs
*ba-buttons dons black turtleneck and beatnik beret, sparks up some tea*
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RIP indeed, great artist, great tune.
I worked with a dude who loved to say inflammatory things, he thought it crucial to stimulating conversations/discussions. Not to say that's a bad thing, it just helps if you know what the fuck you're talking about.
Most of his talk was black nationalist stuff, yet one day dude told me he thought Take Five was the best jazz song created. I asked him if he was serious (he was) then I told Mr. all black all the time the news. Moron.
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What's the difference between God and Bono? God doesn't walk the streets of Dublin thinking he's Bono.
Submitted by stefystef on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 6:39pm.
@Glambert, your avatar is blasphemous and scandalous... and very funny
I wonder how funny it would be if it was, Oh, I don't know, say Muhamad. We all know what
happens to homosexuals in the middle east.
Not so funny.
GG - my kids love the Elf. If I were to get rid of him there would be chaos and their little black hearts would be broken. Besides, Big D is going to be 10 this year, this whole Santa gig is about to be up. As soon as he figures it out he'll ruin it for his brother and it will all be over and the elf can GTFO!
Twatty - I nearly ruined Christmas and believing in Santa for my kids this weekend. It was raining and yucky and Gremlins was on so we were watching it. I haven't seen it since I was a teenager and I TOTALLY forgot about the story Phoebe Cates tells about her father getting stuck in the chimney dressed as Santa and THAT being how she found out there was no Santa. I heard her start to tell the story and I started scrambling for the remote all "OMG OMG OMG!!!!!" I couldn't find it so I lunged at the TV and swatted the off button.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
My kids thought I was insane.
CRISIS AVERTED!
ME, just throw the fucking thing away. Tell the kids he moved, if they remember and ask.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
@Glambert, your avatar is blasphemous and scandalous... and very funny.
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"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12
"ubmitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:31pm."
Elf bashing, lol. I've been seeing that shit all over Facebook and thought that it was just people hating on the movie.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:31pm.
*stands up gives thunderous applaus*
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by skinny fat on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 6:17pm.
I want an Elf on the Shelf. I'm getting a Charlie Brown tree because we're aren't going to be home for Christmas Eve and Christmas and no one helps me decorate the tree and I hate doing it by myself.
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Aw. We don't have a tree. I have a mini stocking (it's maybe 6 inches?) and I had it put out for decoration until yesterday. Decided to put it away. Meh. I have been über-depressed lately and so not in the mood for being "festive". Ugh.
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 6:10pm.
Glambert - I wish you were my neighbor. I'd much rather here your yowls of ecstasy than the revving engines of my redneck trash neighbors.
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Aww!!!