Open Post: Hosted By A Royal Prank
You'd think that you would need some kind of secret code (SPOILER ALERT: the code is "PippasBum") to talk to the nurse who is caring for Duchess Kate's knocked up ass, but you don't. The only things you need are an awful British accent and Corgi jokes. Mel and Michael, the hosts of a show on Sydney's 2Day FM radio station, tried to prank their way into talking to Kate Middleton. Mel pretended to be Kate's memaw-in-law and Michael pretended to be Prince Charles and their British accents were so damn awful that they made Madonna sound like she came out of the Queen's vagine.
They asked "Is Kate there?" and were immediately transferred to the nurse's station. The nurse bought all of it. The nurse didn't really say anything, but damn, she's easy to fool. While they had her on the line, they should've asked her for a copy of the hi-res picture the hospital took of Prince Hot Ginge's peen when he was there to have some warts looked at. The nurse would've e-mailed it to them!
Poor, gullible ass nurse. When the Queen finds out about this, the nurse will be lucky to get a job changing Camilla's tampon. ("That job is not available!" - Prince Charles)
Here's Prince William, Kate's hot brother and Pippa visiting her in the hospital today.
• 
Joseph Gordon-Levitt is so lucky(minus the shampoo bottle)
It's called ROMANCE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNkOCxa3V5c#t=12m08s
RIP Dave Brubeck. 'Take Five' was one cool ass tune.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmDDOFXSgAs
*ba-buttons dons black turtleneck and beatnik beret, sparks up some tea*
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Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 11:56am.
Liver spotted hand
Groping while I cry inside
Merit badge and meth
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:32pm.
That's SO mean. That's a baby BOY.
I want an Elf on the Shelf. I'm getting a Charlie Brown tree because we're aren't going to be home for Christmas Eve and Christmas and no one helps me decorate the tree and I hate doing it by myself.
For LA me if she stops back in:
http://www.graceanimalrescue.org/info/
http://www.jackiespurrfectmatch.org/about_us.htm
and the El Segundo animal control people-- maybe they can point you in the right direction locally?
http://www.elsegundo.org/depts/police/special_operations/contact.asp
@ Twatty - Lol and Jackie Rogers Jr always reminded me of my high school friend who was, in fact, an albino.
Glambert - I wish you were my neighbor. I'd much rather here your yowls of ecstasy than the revving engines of my redneck trash neighbors.
I heard this call on the news, holy stupid hospital employees, Batman. You'd think they would have *slightly* higher security with the higher profile folk getting sick all up in there!
Submitted by tomahawk on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:55pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:41pm.
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Mhm, maybe I should've paid more attention to Mel Gibson
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It's all good buddy, again as Deb mentions it's human nature.
From the time we were cavemen we've been always suspicious of "those people" on the other side of the river that are not of our clan.
You'd think with our capacity to learn we would be a better people but suspicion and prejudice almost seems part of out "survival DNA" in some respects.
Submitted by Glambert on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:57pm.
They sound like two fine upstanding 'Muricans to me. Bet there's nothing they'd love more than the sounds of you protesting while getting dick slapped in the face and giving an angry bj. Be a good neighbor now.
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What's the difference between God and Bono? God doesn't walk the streets of Dublin thinking he's Bono.
And I'm sorry for almost ruining OP.
:-(
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:24pm.
I nearly had a heart attack after coming back from the bathroom to find BH put his fucking John Deer tractor ornament on it.
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Hey hey HEY! Don't hate on John Deere. They make good tractors (even though we have a Kubota). Our hay baler is a Deere though. ;-P
*spits tobacco*
M.E. -- I'm sorry, hon, but you're stuck with that fucking creepy elf until the kids stop believing in Santa. Or you can use the excuse that the elf got deported - haha!
M.E., Hekki & ponchiks -- check out this other site, they make other hideous-looking elves. I bought one of my friends one of their elves as a joke. She said it reminds her of Martin Short's Jackie Rogers, Jr. character.
http://www.annalee.com/store/9-cozy-christmas-elf.html
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:41pm.
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Mhm, maybe I should've paid more attention to Mel Gibson, but I actually didn't. He's stupid for making his thoughts public and that's enough to despise him - I hated my grandfather because he would talk like that 24/7 - but in the end I hate all people who adopt some prethought thoughts as theirs and make no effort to think on their own.
Anyway - I think I'm better off to bed.
Sorry for my bad writing skills of today =)
Submitted by ponchiks on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:50pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:31pm.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:31pm.
That sounds creepy as shit. Reminds of that chucky doll that would stalk you when you weren't looking and stab you eventually.
Love that facebook page, twatty.
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I'm deathly afraid of clowns and elves are right up there with clowns. My MIL nearly died the day she brought that fucking elf over.
It's a wonder my kids keep finding our elf hiding in closets and cubbords and in places OUT OF SIGHT eh?
Submitted by bambam on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:40pm.
Well that's just damn inconsiderate, now isn't it?
You've probably gotten them so used to your antics they feel deprived the rest of the year. Plus they probably get horny now everytime they see a flower bed thanks to you. Shame on you, boulliabase lover.
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HEY NOW!!! Don't you go insulting my next door neighbors! Just because they NEVER keep their blinds open and the 2 times over the years I have saw a blind open and their living room looked like something out of the show HOARDERS does not mean they are not good people!
In the three years I have lived here the husband has said "hello" to me back at least 3 times and his wife always goes about diverting her eyes away from me and pretending I don't exist in the utmost respectable manner!
BTW...their other next door neighbors on the other side of their house are gayelles! LOL
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:31pm.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:31pm.
That sounds creepy as shit. Reminds of that chucky doll that would stalk you when you weren't looking and stab you eventually.
Love that facebook page, twatty.
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
Submitted by tomahawk on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:37pm.
No worries, tomahawk! You are right that people everywhere like to have some "other" (nationality, ethnicity, religion, sexual preference, weight, etc) to shit on. It's human nature.
Mel Gibson did say some terrible things about Jewish people though.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
@ Hekki - they did that to my Kashi Go Lean Crunch. Fuckers.
The Shrink Ray has zapped Barilla pasta! I THOUGHT the box felt lighter! This box contains 12 oz of pasta instead of a full pound.
Just raise the fucking price. My recipe calls for a pound! So now I have to buy two boxes and try to figure out how many noodles to pull out to make up the extra 4 oz's they shorted me?
They're getting a nastygram from me. That's straight up fuckery.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:32pm.
Mel isn't going to get through to Lindsay. She might pretend to savor his wisdom but it'll only be a con to get him to open his stuffed wallet.
My dad was always a sucker for a wretched young train wreck, too. Some men have Savior complexes.
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Even in the ones with savior complexes, the thought is there somewhere in their minds, "maybe"... It goes with the territory.
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What's the difference between God and Bono? God doesn't walk the streets of Dublin thinking he's Bono.
Submitted by tomahawk on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:33pm.
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:23pm.
I realized that (nearly?) every person has prejudices against others
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I understand what you're saying Tom BUT there is a big difference between having passive prejudices against a people and being a raving publicly hate spewing maniac who's been well-documented and long known to harbour unbelievably fantastic die in the wool hate for a group of people.
LOL Louise, I know, poor thing!
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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/19/2012 - 10:19am.
Bitch, you are not better then Keanu Reeves!
Submitted by Glambert on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:28pm.
I live in a house and it's winter here now so the windows are closed. My neighbors only get to hear me getting sodomized in the summer months when I leave the window open that is right above my GORGEOUS garden that the neighbor is lucky to look at!
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Well that's just damn inconsiderate, now isn't it?
You've probably gotten them so used to your antics they feel deprived the rest of the year. Plus they probably get horny now everytime they see a flower bed thanks to you. Shame on you, boulliabase lover.
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What's the difference between God and Bono? God doesn't walk the streets of Dublin thinking he's Bono.
Twatty: LOL at your Elf explanation. Youngest came home from preschool talking about it. They do it there, so I'm exempt.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:23pm.
They both look like they are in their mid to upper 30's/lower 40's to me.
I would put them both at "a well-preserved 43". I hate that the press fawns over them when neither of them is anything remotely worth grovelling over.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:31pm.
OMG you owe me a monitor, I just spit all over mine.
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LOL :D
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:31pm.
ponchiks -- you are going to be sorry you asked about the Elf on the Shelf. It's based on some stupid book from a while back and in the past few years some asshole dug it up and is making a fortune on this shit. It's some ugly elf you buy for your kids, it's like $30 for the fucking elf, extra for the book and more for accessories for the fucking thing (warning: I'm going to use "fuck" a lot). You pose this elf around during the night and delude your kid(s) into think the elf did things and that it's watching your kids and that your kid(s) should be good. If you ask me, it's nothing but a bunch of BULLSHIT!!! It's a money-making scheme for people who want to feed the delusion of their kids. There's a term out there for people like me who hate the elves, it's calle "elf bashing." Also, go to Facebook -- there's a page called "The Inappropriate Elf" -- you can see the elf naked in bed wth Barbie, the elf drug smuggling, tea bagging an LSU mascot, drunk with a bottle of wine & some prescription pills (my personal favorite), etc. Fucking elves, I hate 'em.
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My MIL bought this creepy fucker for my kids, so I am stuck doing this shit until they stop believing in Santa.
Once they figure it out I'll be elf bashing. Until then, I'm one of the assholes posing the creepy elf around my house.
*hangs head*
ponchiks -- BTW, I heard the Elf on the Shelf cookies SUCK!!!
http://www.elfontheshelf.com/
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:23pm.
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I don't really think that being "antisemitic" is some sort of evil. Yeah, I know, the bad old German (me) - but I am living with the Nazi stigma for now too long and at some point I realized that (nearly?) every person has prejudices against others. Be it my Afghan friend who dislikes Turks, others who are afraid of Russians or a lot of foreigners who hate Germans. The stupid thing is to make it public.
On good: It's impossible to be good at all times because there will be situations in which you have to decide to either protect someone, or stay true and automatically hurt the one you wanted to protect. Or to do nothing which would be bad as well.
Edit because of another bad (English) day.
Oh Gott, another edit; sorry, the first sentence of my comment is misleading - read "antisemitic" as prejudices as that's what I meant also I think that's what's up with Mel Gibson - or did he say that all jews should be killed? As that then would be antisemitic. Sorry, I really had a bad day and most probably should have hold my fingers still.
Mel isn't going to get through to Lindsay. She might pretend to savor his wisdom but it'll only be a con to get him to open his stuffed wallet.
My dad was always a sucker for a wretched young train wreck, too. Some men have Savior complexes.
Submitted by ponchiks on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:25pm.
Can somebody PLEASE explain to me what the hell is that "Elf of the shelf" thing?!
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So you need to get him before Thanksgiving with your kids and read the story. Then put him away. After TG he "comes back from the North Pole" to watch over the kids and reports back each night to the NP to Santa on how the kids have behaved every night until Christmas eve. Each morning he returns and the kids have to find him, he returns to a different spot. He can be mischievious and playful. He cannot be touched by human hands (when the kids are looking).
Yes, we do this at our house.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:29pm.
Oh...she...um....favors her dad's side. :-X
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:30pm.
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:20pm.
How can this hurt?
Unless Mel and Linds go on an epic bender together...
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Could you imagine that, Mel goes to help her, they end up getting thrown out of a bar together for calling people sugar titted Gypsy Jews and then they get in a car accident on the way home both claiming a black kid was driving.
OMG you owe me a monitor, I just spit all over mine.
ponchiks -- you are going to be sorry you asked about the Elf on the Shelf. It's based on some stupid book from a while back and in the past few years some asshole dug it up and is making a fortune on this shit. It's some ugly elf you buy for your kids, it's like $30 for the fucking elf, extra for the book and more for accessories for the fucking thing (warning: I'm going to use "fuck" a lot). You pose this elf around during the night and delude your kid(s) into think the elf did things and that it's watching your kids and that your kid(s) should be good. If you ask me, it's nothing but a bunch of BULLSHIT!!! It's a money-making scheme for people who want to feed the delusion of their kids. There's a term out there for people like me who hate the elves, it's calle "elf bashing." Also, go to Facebook -- there's a page called "The Inappropriate Elf" -- you can see the elf naked in bed wth Barbie, the elf drug smuggling, tea bagging an LSU mascot, drunk with a bottle of wine & some prescription pills (my personal favorite), etc. Fucking elves, I hate 'em.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:20pm.
How can this hurt?
Unless Mel and Linds go on an epic bender together...
===============================================
Could you imagine that, Mel goes to help her, they end up getting thrown out of a bar together for calling people sugar titted Gypsy Jews and then they get in a car accident on the way home both claiming a black kid was driving.
As the lesser Middleton, I kinda expected something epically trashy from Pippa by now. Oh well, there's still time.
I haven't seen pics of Blue Ivy but look at Delilah Del Toro :S
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2243284/Delilah-del-Toro-sh...
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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/19/2012 - 10:19am.
Bitch, you are not better then Keanu Reeves!
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:24pm
Your tree sounds beautiful! John Deer ornament.
LOL. Move it to the back:)
Our tree looks really pretty too. Bronze and gold bulbs and lots of gold shit shoved in there.
It looks like it is a magnet from Michaels.
I think I need to go get more:)
@skinny fat
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20200355,00.html
I don't know if it actually helped Britney, but Mel and his then wife DID make an effort.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by bambam on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:20pm.
Submitted by Glambert on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 4:54pm.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 4:48pm.
Yes! We have the same dream each time our head gently lands on our pillow!
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My head never gently lands on the pillow. It's always slammed into it face first as it muffles my cries of extacy.
Then the 100% macho fish man behind me screams:
"Shut up faggot! Take it! Take it!!!"
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Ew. That's so gay trash, gotta let everybody around know you're playing construction with some dude and he's got the jack hammer and you're a piece of concrete. Stuff the pillow in your mouth, get a ball gag or at least get another guy to shove his dick in your mouth.
Don't be reminding the neighbors how good sex can be with all that orgasmic caterwauling. Rude! ;P
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I live in a house and it's winter here now so the windows are closed. My neighbors only get to hear me getting sodomized in the summer months when I leave the window open that is right above my GORGEOUS garden that the neighbor is lucky to look at!
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:22pm.
Submitted by mefunigirl on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:12pm.
Submitted by skinny fat on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 4:16pm.
there aren't any "official" ones out there, but there some circulating.
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In the "official" picture the kid will look like this...
http://pictures.4ever.eu/fun/people/baby-139091
Can somebody PLEASE explain to me what the hell is that "Elf of the shelf" thing?!
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
So I got my Christmas tree!!!
This year I got it flocked. So I have a flocked tree with red lights and all red decorations. It took my OCD anal retentive ass an hour and 15 minutes to string the lights last night, then another 2 hours to put up the decorations. But it's purty!
I nearly had a heart attack after coming back from the bathroom to find BH put his fucking John Deer tractor ornament on it.
Submitted by Glambert on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:07pm.
Yeah, but Lindsay was gayelle for a while. I will never dispute that Gibson is an anti-semetic, misogynist alcoholic. But he may be genuinely trying to help. Very few people are 100% evil. (or good for that matter)
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Trixster on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 4:08pm.
I still can't believe Pippa is the younger sister. If I didn't know any better I would guess she is in her mid-40s rather than late 20s.
They both look like they are in their mid to upper 30's/lower 40's to me.
Submitted by mefunigirl on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:12pm.
Submitted by skinny fat on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 4:16pm.
there aren't any "official" ones out there, but there some circulating.
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I thought the kid was stuck to a wall in that second picture like some freaky alien wall sucker spawn!
It sure looks like Jay Z's unfortunate looking mug on that little one that's for sure.
Submitted by mefunigirl on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 5:12pm.
Thanks for the link. She looks kinda cute. I just think it's weird they haven't released a picture of her yet. Beyonce posts enough pics of herself online!
Submitted by Glambert on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 4:54pm.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 4:48pm.
Yes! We have the same dream each time our head gently lands on our pillow!
------------------------------------------
My head never gently lands on the pillow. It's always slammed into it face first as it muffles my cries of extacy.
Then the 100% macho fish man behind me screams:
"Shut up faggot! Take it! Take it!!!"
-------------------------------
Ew. That's so gay trash, gotta let everybody around know you're playing construction with some dude and he's got the jack hammer and you're a piece of concrete. Stuff the pillow in your mouth, get a ball gag or at least get another guy to shove his dick in your mouth.
Don't be reminding the neighbors how good sex can be with all that orgasmic caterwauling. Rude! ;P
**************
What's the difference between God and Bono? God doesn't walk the streets of Dublin thinking he's Bono.
Yo Whamo! Crazier things have happened. The world knows Lindsay's got no friends and her parents are worthless. How can this hurt?
Unless Mel and Linds go on an epic bender together...
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson