Everyone Instantly Falls In Love With Calvin Klein's Ex-Kept Bitch
Bottom shelf porn star turned gay-for-pay gold digger Nick Gruber was Calvin Klein's leased toy for a little over two years and now he's writing a tell-all book about his time in CK, because he thinks everyone wants to know the details of how he licked Calvin's overcooked ham hocks for fancy gifts. Nick gave Page Six Magazine (via WOW Report) a little taste of what's in the tell-all and it's pretty hilarious.
Nick says that even though Calvin Klein bought him a $250,000 Bentley sports car and kept him in a West Village penthouse, he never once asked for a dime and has never used anybody for money (HAHAHA #1). Nick was in the army when he met Calvin and the sweet scent of easy money and formaldehyde made him quit. Nick used that whole "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" shit to his advantage by telling his first sergeant that he was gay, which got him discharged (HAHAHA #2). Nick was living the high life with Calvin for two years and then the beginning of the end came when a friend stayed the night with him. Calvin's housekeeper ratted on a bitch and then this happened:
“Calvin picked me up in his car, drove me down to the Holiday Inn in Chelsea, and we went downstairs in the basement of the hotel. He made me take a lie-detector test. I passed it. And then, you know, things were much better. But I mean, what kind of partner would make you take a lie detector test?”
What partner would make you take a lie detector test? The kind of partner who practically bought your ass. Nick claims he's straight, so he was only slurping on Calvin's 60-something slow cooked dick (you know the meat just falls off the bone) for money. That makes him Calvin's employee pretty much and Calvin had to make sure nobody else was touching his shit. (Side note: If you're a professional kept bitch and you break your ass or bruise your peen on the job, do you get worker's comp?)
Nick, who's got a new sugar daddy in California, says that he knows he'll always hold a special place in Calvin's heart:
"I was the first man [Calvin] fell in love with. I don't know why, but there's, like, something about me that attracts everyone. I have a nickname called Romeo. I get every girl, and even guys. Something about me draws them all in."
Romeo is right. I'm drawn in, aren't you? Let's all put our laundry money together and rent Romeo for one night. We'll just sit back and stare at him as he casually flashes his freshly waxed armpit while lying against a grand piano.
Oh, and Calvin took back that $250,000 Bentley after they broke up. But at least Nick got to keep those new teeth in his mouth and when his current sugar daddy bought him a BMW motorcycle, he made sure the title was in his name. The gold digger is finally learning how to gold dig the right way.
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Still laughing at him claiming that he is straight, too funny! lol
"Calvin's 60-something slow cooked dick (you know the meat just falls off the bone)" <--- this is the most disturbing and vile comment you have ever written ... i love you !
Somebody needs to slap Calvin Klein with a filthy, used dildo, because for the price of what he bought that obviously gay boy a Bentley for, he could have had a much hotter, more subdued and domesticated youth.
Hell, he could have had one for every day of the month at that price!
Hello, eastern European specimens?!
*slaps CK*
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Delusional trick...? First "one"....Calvin looks like the gay Vampire he is, draining one hottie of his vital juices...
And the Service didn't need him to tell because nobody had to ask....Queer as a $3 Bill......
I DID get the Buick in my name...dumb as ho...
"If Drinks are not involved, then neither am I"
You hire trash, you get trashed.
@oh Dave, you're fucking hilarious!
*wonders if CK & Wahlberg had a thing*
This idiot looks like a cherub so no ur not hot.
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
These comments are hilarious!
every girl?! and even guys? yeah every girl is going to know you were with Calvin Klein.
They look like younger/older versions of each other, I've never actually taken a good look at young CK actually, but still how narcissistic.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
I worked as a manager at the space Calvin and Kelly had their wedding at in SoHo in 1987. I was taking a smoke break on the second floor landing with a mate when he and Steve Rubell (Studio 58) slipped down the stairs together only to return in a few minutes, wiping cocaine off their noses. As I recall we were invisible to them but we joked and puzzled about why he was marrying a young woman!? Kelly was more a beard than gold digger. She was/is rich and prolly married for a bump in her fashion biz career. Her mother was a biggie at Saks and tried to steal the limelight all night.
Gosh, I haven't thought about this stuff in years!
I wonder if CK tells every trick that they're his first man, or whether this twink just assumed he was the first because he's just so wonderful.
And oh man, why are gold diggers dumb enough to tell all? I don't gold dig, but I know that much. Nobody will want you, no matter how hawt you are, if you can't keep your gob shut.
And it is quite stupid that he didn't get the car and apartment in his name. Gold-digging without marriage is a risky proposition, and has limited shelf life. From the sound of it, Nicky-boy doesn't have a lot of other career options.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Nope, no way. Nothing's less sexy than arrogant "you are SO lucky to have me" and he totally has that attitude.
Also, I ain't into most blonde guys, especially the pretty-boy ones.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Oh HELL no. There is no way I would be "drawn in" or whatever to this faux gay man. You can tell he thinks he's all that, but yuck!
In fact, just looking at him makes me want to go gay - the other way....
"Calvin's 60-something slow cooked dick (you know the meat just falls off the bone) for money."
HAHAHAHA on several levels/a metal image that I don't need to have.
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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
I thought I remembered Calvin Klein had a young daughter who was kidnapped when he was newly famous. She was kidnapped at age 8 or 9 and wiki says she now works on SNL.
Calvin used to be kind of hot 20 years ago. Now he looks like Madame Tussaud's started melting their Harrison Ford and Barry Manilow statues together.
I always sort of liked Kelly - had no idea they were married for 20 years, I assumed he'd divorced her a long, long time ago.
Holy hellfire, they are a before-and-after photo...but I'm not what sure happened before that after to make Calvin look like a long-gone corpse. Money can buy the fantasy but the reality is harsh in these photos. I hope he DID get paid if he somehow had sex with Calvin. He earned every penny.
I'm in on the chip-into-view deal. It would be worth the money. Mighty fine.
Submitted by KeyLimePie on Thu, 12/06/2012 - 11:23pm.
Ho has no redeeming qualities
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Well, he is hotter than Scott Thorsen or whatever the Liberace guy was named, so that's one thing. He looks stupid and compliant so that's two more good qualities. ;-)
I like the idea of chipping in to rent him. We could all get a single-occupancy room together at Chateau Marmont and pay Nick to dance while we throw M&M's at him. It could be the next REM video.
http://13-mitred-abbots.tumblr.com/
Ho has no redeeming qualities but the book sounds entertaining nonetheless. Let's keep an eye out for more excerpts.
dear gawd....the paid piece looks like the "before" methface, and calvin looks like the "after" methface...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Well, now I'm certain something is wrong with me, cause he hasn't drawn me in! Hmmmm?
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 12/06/2012 - 9:31pm.
Submitted by YourClothesAreDead: "Why all the hate? He's def a B+ golddigging professional and maybe A or A+ in the future. His technique needs some finetuning but plz give that whore a break, he's still learning the ropes."
No way. Or I beg to disagree most respectfully. He blew it by opening his trashy mouth. Calvin Klein is pretty A list. He's mega-loaded and connected in the best way. TwinkBoy could have taken a golden parachute.
Now, your A+ golddiggers; Pamela Harriman, Jackie O, Padma Lakshmi, ALL knew better than to dis the hand that fed them.
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YAAAAASSSS. Padma Lakshmi is the gold standard in golddiggery.
Kayte Walsh is a solid B+ golddigger.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
I think without a doubt whoring himself this way beats working in porn.
Submitted by Violet on Thu, 12/06/2012 - 10:52pm.
Wow, weird. It's like Calvin plucked him out of a cornfield somewhere and gave him a gayover.
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Oh shit, I thought this said Calvin PUNCHED him out of a cornfield somewhere and gave him a gayover. Your comment is admittedly hilarious, but now I can't get the image of Calvin Klein finding some random potential twink in a cornfield and punching him until he's gay.
Wow, weird. It's like Calvin plucked him out of a cornfield somewhere and gave him a gayover.
humans_off_earth_now -- yeah, Calvin has always been a really nice-looking guy, but man, Planet WTF is right when it comes to those cheek implants! Shit, they destroyed his face, the poor guy. But twink boy here is hideous. In that picture of them at the beach, check out Nick's legs -- he has Barney Rubble legs -- heinous! Compared to Calvin's long, slender legs (the type I like), he looks fucking ridiculous.
lilywhiteclass -- I don't think much talking is done in the relationships you speak of. Now my bf is much older than me, but we're both fairly smart and have common interests, so it works out well. But in Nick & Calvin's case here, I'm sure much of the conversation involves Calvin saying, "could you stick your forearm up my ass a little more?"
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
I used to work for one of what I considered the big three if the velvet mafia.
It doesn't surprise me that there is a deluded twit like this spouting off, what really surprises me is that there aren't more.
I don't get the geezer-twink combo thing, either, albeit it's been going on since time began. Aside from the vicarious living on both parts (youth vs money and power) what in God's name do these couples TALK about? Granted, Calvin wanted a "mini-youthful-me", and Hostess Ho Ho wanted the dough, but I just can't with these 20-50/60 relationships.
It's like Dolph Lundgren mated with Matt Damon.
Is a polygraph a standard amenity at most Holiday Inns nowadays?
I love the "I'm straight" bullshit. Yeah, cuz you wanna still be able to send your resume to Madonna, Demi and JLo...Straight for pay maybe... or no boundaries cuz the only thing straight about him is that he's likely a straight up sociopath.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
This guy radiates pure vacant awfulness. He makes Courtney Stodden look like Katharine Hepburn and Gandhi.
I don't get the arm candy thing when it comes to geezer queens. That walking vegetable only makes Calvin look like dogshit when he's actually a handsome if wrinkled old man (despite cheekbones from Planet WTF). Srsly, go through the pix and block out Baby Einstein - voila, a 100% improvement in Calvin's looks and dignity!
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"End well: this isn't going to." - MK
Submitted by KA on Thu, 12/06/2012 - 7:12pm.
this guy is the biggest twink since the twink train came to twinktown.
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LMAO!! I'm stealing that shit.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
Aww, thanks Twatty! His nips distracted me because I was thinking about having pizza for dinner, I have since decided on something else. :P
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Douchechill!
bornagainChristian -- I would imagine Calvin has had access to many gorgeous young men during his lifetime, and I find it hard to believe that this twink was anything special to him, just another piece I would think. What a fascinating time to have worked for him; you must have a lot of stories.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
Nick, enjoy the sunshine, rainbows up your ass, and grifting your way into the beds of men while you can, for one day soon, and in the blink of an eye, your youth will have long vanished, and a long line of equally arrogant and much younger than you "flavours of the month" will have taken your place. Time is a killer of dreams, looks, arrogance, and repulsive smirks. You and Calvin had one thing in common - you both appear to have the depth of a sandbar.
Sometimes I doubt whether or not types like Calvin Klein are capable of falling in love seeing as how almost everything in their lives is completely disposable, temporary, and most often just decorative.
He's like Baptiste Giabiconi (Karl Lagerfeld's muse).
I mean, fuck, Karl & Calvin must be so incredibly soulless and passionless to just sit around until someone is pretty enough comes along they can buy out.
I worked for CK in the early to late eighties. Sorry Twink, Calvin has had many loves. Some particular ones. All of them make Twink look 'low rent'. I think Twink is just an immature, psychologically challenged gold digger trying to cash out on an unfortunate 'fling' for CK.
and the claim about the "lie detector"?......someone watches too much TV.
Hooker, please. Get your twink ass back on the stroll and holla for a dolla like the rest of us.
I'm not impressed by this plain vanilla fuckstick. Idk what kind of dime-a-dozen generic pretty boy this bitch thinks he is, but he ain't no Baptiste Giabiconi...or fuck, he ain't even no Gabriel Aubry, home boy needs to sit the fuck down.
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
NOT IMPRESSED & Sams mom -- you guys crack me up! I, too, always take note of the size of a dude's nipples. This guy's are just a bit too large. But the pepperoni & Oreo references made me laugh!
Hekki -- that's an interesting tale. I'd never heard anything bad about Calvin, but I'd always suspected even when he was married that he was rather fey. At the time he was too good-looking & well-dressed, reminded me of Halston a bit.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
These pics do not show Nicky-boy's original nose and teefs. He must offer sumpin' special for CK to have invested in him.
http://news.makemeheal.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/nick-gruber-plasti...
@ba-buttons
I was on active duty when DADT went into effect, iirc it is a *dishonorable* discharge. Due to the fact you lied on your enlistment papers and said you were *not* a homosexual nor had you ever had any homosexual encounters.
Like I said...iirc! But I got out in '95, so the old memory has declined a good deal since then! =p
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"...If I put a Cleopatra wig on my asshole and painted cat eyes on it, it would look and act more like Elizabeth Taylor than LiLo does..."- MK
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Submitted by YourClothesAreDead: "Why all the hate? He's def a B+ golddigging professional and maybe A or A+ in the future. His technique needs some finetuning but plz give that whore a break, he's still learning the ropes."
No way. Or I beg to disagree most respectfully. He blew it by opening his trashy mouth. Calvin Klein is pretty A list. He's mega-loaded and connected in the best way. TwinkBoy could have taken a golden parachute.
Now, your A+ golddiggers; Pamela Harriman, Jackie O, Padma Lakshmi, ALL knew better than to dis the hand that fed them.
The money isn't in the tell-all; it's in the introduction to the next sugar daddy when you're ready to bail. If they know you're going to talk shit about them, they're not going to play.
Submitted by YourClothesAreDead on Thu, 12/06/2012 - 9:19pm.
Why all the hate?...
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Don't know if it's hate but this paragraph makes him utterly dislikable imo:
"I was the first man [Calvin] fell in love with. I don't know why, but there's, like, something about me that attracts everyone. I have a nickname called Romeo. I get every girl, and even guys. Something about me draws them all in."
Goober, please.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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He's kind of a fugly butter face. He's like a fugly, more gay-faced version of Hunter Parrish. His hair looks so gross and crispy.