Brooke Mueller Did Not OD, So Says Brooke Mueller
TMZ reported yesterday that colossal mess Brooke Mueller snorted, injected or smoked way too much of the bad shit and had to be shuffled off to the hospital. The L.A. County Fire Department said that they were called to Brooke's home in Tarzana, CA and took her to the nearest hospital. Everyone figured that the next headline we'd see would be "Brooke Mueller Trying Out Rehab For The 16th Time," but her rep (yes, she has one of those) says that's not going to happen, because she didn't overdose. Yeah, and I just didn't guzzle down an entire bottle of Chicken 'N Waffles flavoring syrup for breakfast.
Her rep Steve Honing tells Celebuzz that it was all a misunderstanding and Charlie Sheen's original goddess was just really, really tired. Brooke's assistant (yes, she has one of those) thought she passed out in a coma or some shit, but she was really just taking a nap. Here's Steve's explanation:
“An assistant thought Brooke was non-responsive while she was napping and hastily called an ambulance. As a precaution, Brooke was brought to a local hospital and discharged after an hour. She was diagnosed with exhaustion and dehydration and is now fine and resting at home. That’s it."
That makes sense. Smoking crack, snorting Valium and injecting meth into your eyeballs all day really is strenuous work and gives you a serious case of the tireds. And I know that whenever I take a hard nap, my assistant (aka my dog) has to bark for help after he tries to wake me up by slapping me in the face, etc...
Brooke and Charlie's 3-year-old twins were at home with her when she taken to the hospital, but she tells TMZ that her full-time, live-in nanny was taking care of them. Even if Brooke said that a chainsaw and a bear trap were taking care of her kids, we'd all still shrug and say, "Well, better than Brooke!"
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When I was growing up, me and siblings would pray that our parents would suffer from exhaustion and pass the fuck out, so we could run out and go do hoodrat stuff? But did they?
Hell to the naw!
Whenever they felt tired from working all goddamn day, they would come home, lock us in, and either took a fuckin' NAP, sat the fuck DOWN and watched TV, or had a Coke and a goddamn smile!
Is that not done anymore?!
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She just wanted to take a bunch of drugs and take a nap and her assistant tried to ruin the only sleep she'd had in days. #urfired
Those look like crackie eyes to me. Those kidsare doom with crackheads for parents.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
Some of the comments on the TMZ article are funny. I really wanted to see her pipe hand, and so I clicked through. Holy shit, I've never seen anything like that!
The only reason she has her kids is because she has enough money to employ a substitute mother for them. If she were poor, she'd be on the street and her babies would be in foster care or with a grandparent. I really hope the nanny loves those kids.
JUST DIE ALREADY
I'm sure this has been said but I'm still in disbelief this woman has a rep..an assistant...and a full time nanny...and was exhausted????? Dumb bitch
Nice that a woman who has absolutely no career, vocation or professional purpose has a spokesperson.
Ok, confession. I've been hospitalized for dehydration-related issues. Both times I was dizzy with a fast heart rate and low BP. Both times I was pumped full of saline and had several tests. If Brooke was in and out in an hour, I doubt she was really dehydrated.
Her burnt crackie fangahs. Get help,bitch! U in dangah. Thats just saaaaad...Strangly all crackies live to see another day.unlike, us sober folk.
Wow-- I think it says a lot that Steve "Exhaustion and Dehydration" Honig DROPPED Lindsay Lohan as a client.
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
Lilo and Brooke need to hook up and take us on the most epuc end of the year bender EVER!
Exactly what does this useless twat DO that's she's so fucking exhausted? Spend her kids child support?
Being an ex crack head you go into what is called a cocaine coma from being up too many days this bitch is using no doubt and covering it up somehow, but no one just stays up "making jewelry" and then all of a sudden passes out too many nights high is what it was....trust that
I'd love to know why people go batshit over chicken and waffles. We once tried to make chicken and waffles...we used Eggo frozen waffles...it wasn't all that.
She really was exhausted, you guys! From spending a whole day volunteering at the soup kitchen, building houses for orphans, and giving blood to the Red Cross. A tireless do-gooder!
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Her boobs look really odd and misshapen in that top pic.
I can't help but feel sad for addicts. I'm sure their demons are like nothing we can imagine.
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"High-powered men?! Bitch, Kevin Clash is the voice of Elmo and he might have the power to tell you that today's episode is brought to you by the letter A, but that's about it." -MK 11/15/12
So sad for those kids because when this pathetic crack ho dies-which will be soon-where the fuck are the twins going to live with? Charlie Sheen? Her mom?
Submitted by mahaatma on Sat, 12/08/2012 - 4:58pm.
Exhaustion and dehydration is apparently a medical term for what us peons call a "hangover". In this case, a crack whore with a hangover. I love how the bitch denies everything with her Richard Pryor burnt to shit pipe lighting hand. What a fucking mess!
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Richard Pryor burnt to shit pipe lighting hand!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Seriously, THAT HAND!!!! Even LiLo would serve up a double order of WTF over that HAND!!!!! And you know when LiLo can WTF you, then you in danger, girl.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Sat, 12/08/2012 - 5:16pm.
Submitted by mahaatma on Sat, 12/08/2012 - 4:58pm.
Poor Bob and poor Max. Unless something changes, including their genetics, those two boys may be the future Brandon and Gummy Bear Davis.
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You're assuming the money lasts that long.
I know people who have been so harried and overworked that they've become dehydrated and exhausted. I just can't for the life of me figure out how Brooke Mueller would be one of them.
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Hey, now. Crack smoking can be exhausting. All that lifting the crack pipe (that you made yourself no less) all the way up to your lips, lighting it, taking hits over and over again...THEN searching the carpet for any stray crack rocklets after you've smoked all your crack? EXHAUSTING, I tell you!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Wait...there's Chicken 'N Waffle flavored syrup?!!!
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...the end
Those fuckers need to hire writers to write them some new lies.
^
This is my new calling . I'm going to Hollywood to write apology letters and lies( not mutually exclusive) for dummies
And the public believes her because she's so credible in what she says about herself. I'd believe Dementa's hamster before I'd believe this trick.
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Fair is foul and foul is fair..
So, when the paramedics came, wouldn't she just wake up and be like, hey, no, I was sleeping (like the dead because I've been up for days and I'm coming down), I don't need to go to the hospital?
Those fuckers need to hire writers to write them some new lies.
Submitted by dementa on Sat, 12/08/2012 - 4:37pm.
a hamster who passed out when people petted him, and he looked dead for a few hours. Then he woke up. Pretty sure no crack was involved.
Hahahahaha!
This dumb cunt is still alive? Somebody save those kids, please.
MK, this needs your "step away from the coke mirror" tag.
+++++++++++++++++++
Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.
Submitted by mahaatma on Sat, 12/08/2012 - 4:58pm.
Poor Bob and poor Max. Unless something changes, including their genetics, those two boys may be the future Brandon and Gummy Bear Davis.
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You're assuming the money lasts that long.
I know people who have been so harried and overworked that they've become dehydrated and exhausted. I just can't for the life of me figure out how Brooke Mueller would be one of them.
Oh, well, case closed then.
Piece of friendly advice to celebrities (or "celebrities") everywhere:
Don't claim exhaustion. Really don't claim exhaustion when no one is entirely sure what you do. And don't, for the love of god, claim you're exhausted when you have a live in nanny. Unless you want the wrath of millions of people who have actual cause to be exhausted but can't drop down because then they'd be homeless.
Oh, sure.
I love how these crackheads think that regular people are going to swallow their bullshit.
Pathetic, spoiled, druggie princess who should be in jail. The nannies and assistants are not the children's parents. They are not there to free up mom and dad's time so they can get glazed up without interruption. CYF should have removed those kids a year ago at the latest.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Exhaustion and dehydration is apparently a medical term for what us peons call a "hangover". In this case, a crack whore with a hangover. I love how the bitch denies everything with her Richard Pryor burnt to shit pipe lighting hand. What a fucking mess!
Poor Bob and poor Max. Unless something changes, including their genetics, those two boys may be the future Brandon and Gummy Bear Davis.
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"You're gonna be a grandma, bitch!"
Submitted by louise_brooks on Sat, 12/08/2012 - 4:26pm.
Yeah, the "I was taking a nap and someone called the paramedics" excuse was stupid when Lilo used it a couple of months ago and it's stupid now.
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Steve Honing was Lindsay's publicist at the time when he used that excuse. He's just recycling it with Brooke this time.
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Why some turds evade the whirlpool...god only knows. They are survivors. The fittest.
- Hysteria
Please. I'm such a deep sleeper I've slept through fire alarms, but I've never been so deep that people called an ambulance.
I did once babysit a hamster who passed out when people petted him, and he looked dead for a few hours. Then he woke up. Pretty sure no crack was involved.
Submitted by cocoebert on Sat, 12/08/2012 - 4:32pm.
As in, the little people who don't have rich parents, rich ex-husbands and lots of child support.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by annobanano on Sat, 12/08/2012 - 4:26pm.
I'm ALWAYS exhausted *dials 911*
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Right? Exhaustion, aka the state of overworked, underpaid people everywhere.
I'm ALWAYS exhausted *dials 911*
Yeah, the "I was taking a nap and someone called the paramedics" excuse was stupid when Lilo used it a couple of months ago and it's stupid now.
I wonder if anyone has ever actually checked into a hospital for exhaustion. I mean, WTF is that anyway?
Exactly! Just go to bed then,bitch... What u at the hospital fo?
Doesn't she know someone who lost their children like Kim K knew someone who lost their kitty. Maybe an assistant's sister?