Darwin The Ikea Monkey Is Living In An Animal Sanctuary Now
Anna Wintour has made the children's faux shearling coat a staple of her winter wardrobe and every French couture designer will use it as an inspiration for their next collection and it's all because Darwin the monkey wore one during his fame-making appearance at an Ikea in Toronto over the weekend. Darwin became an instant fashion icon when he escaped out of his owner's car in an Ikea parking lot on Sunday. Ikea should've hired Darwin to be their official door greeter, but they didn't. Animal Services took him instead. Some people were worried that Darwin would be sold to the Kardashians and fed to Khloe (Yes, she's a cannibal. That's how EVIL she is.), but Animal Services sent him to live at the Story Book Farm Primate Sanctuary instead.
The Globe and Mail says that Canadians aren't allowed to own Darwin's species, because they've been known to carry a type of herpes that is extremely dangerous to humans. Obviously, we don't have that same law in the US (see: The Kardashians). After Animal Services checked Darwin out and declared him healthy, they sent his 7-month-old ass to the primate sanctuary. Darwin's owner Yasmin Nakhuda isn't happy about this and she's afraid he's going to freak out without her. Yasmin and Darwin did everything together including showering and she thinks he might gets the serious monkey sads if they stay apart. Yasmin went on to say this:
“How do we know what he needs unless he’s given the right to choose? I think he should be given the right to choose. If he chooses something else than me, that’s fine. For me, it has never been about me, it has always been about him. He is more than a handful: needs to be baby bottle fed night time and needs at least three diaper changes a day. He has to be with me all the time which means he goes with me to the office, sleeps with me, eats with me, showers with me, goes shopping with me."
Yasmin dressed Darwin up in toddler clothes, locked him in her car while she went out shopping and I didn't think she was completely crazy until she said that he showers with her. Monkeys have been known to bite off human faces when they get spooked, so she's crazy for putting her bare crotch that close to a monkey's face. One small move and RIP, there goes your sex life right into a monkey's stomach. I don't think anybody wants to have to write on their Grindr profile: "I can't cum anymore since my monkey friend tore my fuck parts off, but send me a naked pic anyway!"
And here's another reason why Darwin is probably in a better place. Yasmin made him wear overalls. OVERALLS!
Does she think he's Justin Bieber or some shit?
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The Charming Potato who broke out of his little patch, moved to Hollywood and later became Steven Soderbergh's muse, twerked a baby right into his wife's body.fibrosarcoma in dogs
"One small move and RIP, there goes your sex life right into a monkey's stomach. I don't think anybody wants to have to write on their Grindr profile: "I can't cum anymore since my monkey friend tore my fuck parts off, but send me a naked pic anyway!"
OMG MK, I'm dying here! You're way too funny for words!
Hey guys, delurking mode off:
Story Book Farm is where Darwin the Ikea monkey is going...it's a great place for monkeys and he may be getting a monkey surrogate mommy, so I'm glad. But, their fundraising isn't going well. If you're feeling moved and have a few bucks, please visit their site and buy a calendar or donate.
http://www.storybookmonkeys.org thanks!
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"Let this be a lesson. Don't hit a ho with a rum bottle! Drink all the rum instead and then take a nap!" MK, Aug. 22/08
Of course the monkey wanted to be with her all the time!--it was ripped from its mother as a baby
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100% trafficking. It's what they do, kill the mother and steal the little ones away to sell (traffic) to people or circuses.
and this bitch is a lawyer? A law abiding citizen? Judicial system Representative? and is still practicing, instead of being reprimanded? at least! wow.
and she goes on, like there's nothing wrong with it.
This crazy woman should be charged a lot more than $250 for keeping a wild animal as a "pet." Honestly, she should be sent back to whatever country she was raised in, where she learned that it was "cute" to take a monkey and treat it like a smothered human baby.
The vast, vast majority of immigrants are lovely, sane, hard-working people but those who come here wanting to keep terrible customs from their native country (circumcising their daughters; wild animals as pets; tribal grudges; etc.) need to f*ck right off back home.
"For me, it has never been about me, it has always been about him", said the woman who took an animal that would normally be swinging freely from trees in the wild and dressed him up to look like a child and put a leash around his neck.
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"MY FAVORITE CEREAL IS LIFE! AND I GOT IT; AND I LIVED!!!"
Got 2B Real : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRHIwO_tE34&feature=relmfu
This whole thing is so very tragic.
@KA
OMG never heard of the bear pits. Just looked it up. The human race can't end soon enough. We're a bunch of assholes. Thank god we're running out of fertilizer and water and half of the planet will starve to death in 20 years.
As a person who has done a lot of animal rescue all I can say is "right right". In a couple of years when her landlord/boyfriend/children or whatever changed and she couldn't keep the monkey, she would have turned around and said to herself "He's a monkey. He can survive in the wild"...as she abandoned him in a nearby freezing Toronto forest.
They should do more than take the monkey away. They should fine her and arrest the people that are illegally trading in primates in Canada.
It take a special kind of asshole to have a monkey for pet.
The thing is, Darwin WILL probably be sad/confused if this nutjob is the only thing he's ever known. Fuck this woman and poor monkey.
This woman is crazy. He doesn't NEED to be have his diapers changed. He needs to live in this sanctuary and poop in the trees like every other self respecting monkey. Does she think the people at this sanctuary can't take care of him? If he needs to be bottle fed (which I only think he needs because she's had him living that way and he doesn't know anything else) then I'm fairly certain these people who, you know, do this for a living, can probably handle it. And he may be allowed to actually live like monkeys are supposed to. Maybe not in the actual wild, but the closest thing to it.
Jesus Christ, what a twisted bitch.
I was going to say if she wanted to mother a creature, just have or adopt a child, but then it occurred to me.
The reason she has a monkey instead of a child is because (well, if she hadn't been such a dumb whore and gotten caught) she can do stuff to a monkey she can't do to a child. Like dress it in stupid outfits and keep it on a leash and smother it with creepy attention. They can't grow up and tell their teachers that mommy makes them do dirty things.
It sounds like the former owner is a fruit loop but I feel bad for this l'il monkeh who was yanked out of the only home he's known.
sorry if this has come up before but any of you horz watch animal intervention? that is some seriously sad, sick shit. the one i just saw that pissed. me. right. off. was the bear pit in cherokee north carolina. there is some sick shit going down there.
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
It's sad that humans feel the need to possess wild animals. They belong in the wild, or with their own kind at least. Especially an animal with a highly-complex family/social structure.
Of course the monkey wanted to be with her all the time!--it was ripped from its mother as a baby. It still is a baby! Monkeys are very attached to/needy of their moms for a long time, just like human babies.
Hope he quickly adjusts to the sanctuary and bonds with his own kind! He needs to be what he is. Not jumping around in human clothes. That's effed up.
Darwin is adorable, but I kind of got the sads watching him playing on the door. He needs a natural environment, not an office. I know he's probably her baby, but he should be with his monkey friends.
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
She is a nut- why keep an illegal monkey, then take it out, and leave it in a car where people can see it, and especially in winter.
It doesn't NEED 3 diapers and bottles a day...where it is now it can poop when it likes, no diaper needed. It will be fed food for monkeys. It will be naked with other monkeys, not people! And it can play and live like monkeys are meant to, not like a human would make it be. Just because we think it looks cute in a wool coat (which it does!) doesn't mean that the monkey likes it.
She should quit her whining- she only got fined $250, could have been way more. And she didn't get the monkey herpes.
That coat! I love that monkey.
He did choose the other side, didn't he? he escaped after all....
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 12/11/2012 - 5:16pm.
LOL
I admit I didn't watch the video. I just assumed she was French-Canadian from the story.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Submitted by ditquoi on Tue, 12/11/2012 - 4:25pm.
it really gives me the sads that the poor monkey baby may be confused and scared and missing his mama...
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That's the was I was thinking as well, I just feel sorry for the little guy that's all.
Yasmin, you need to shut it down, you crazy bitch. Darwin is better off at an animal sanctuary. Thanks for the update, MK!!
Submitted by Chris Eccleston...
What's French-Canadian for "dumbass"?
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LOL, that's not even close to being any sort of Canadian accent French or otherwise (if that's what you mean mind you):P By all accounts on she appears to be some sort of Persian descent.
I think it's probably a very good thing that Ikea Monkey is away from Jasmin. A very good thing. He's only 7 months old and she's showering with him. Can you imagine what would have happened in a year or two?
Hoomins are stoopid.
You vant to touch my monkey?
Go ahead, touch it, touch my monkey.
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What's the difference between God and Bono? God doesn't walk the streets of Dublin thinking he's Bono.
I can haz OP?
Submitted by interstella on Tue, 12/11/2012 - 4:45pm
she sounds west indian to me...it does sound awful
@ Interstella -- I love love love your avatar! That is soooooo cute! I just want to hug the little guy!
Monkeys have been known to bite off human faces when they get spooked, so she's crazy for putting her bare crotch that close to a monkey's face. One small move and RIP, there goes your sex life right into a monkey's stomach. I don't think anybody wants to have to write on their Grindr profile: "I can't cum anymore since my monkey friend tore my fuck parts off, but send me a naked pic anyway!"
can't. breathe.
Submitted by Chris Eccleston...
What's French-Canadian for "dumbass"?
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Les ee-dee-utt
She's a lawyer and Google images has a sort of timeline photo where you can see she's tried to turn that monkey into a mini human since day one. I'd like to see footage of it climbing a tree not wearing a collar and leash and clothes. It is probably ecstatic. Monkey Heaven.
Oooh, here's her FB
http://www.facebook.com/ynakhuda
Bitch is psychotic and needs evaluation. Who knows what the little hairy friend has seen, I'd also evaluation for him as well.
I feel sad for the little guy - he needs other monkeys, not be on a leash for rich cunts. Hopefully they can reintroduce him to monkey life at the sanctuary.
He totally reminds me of Mr Peepers from SNL, though. Kinda looks like Kattan, too.
Her accent is hella dumb.
"One small move and RIP, there goes your sex life right into a monkey's stomach."
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Gosh, this might just have to be my siggy.
Submitted by KG on Tue, 12/11/2012 - 4:39pm.
She most likely acquired Darwin illegaly, and who knows what he could be carrying. Herpes Virus B for one.
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The owner states nonchalantly on her youtube channel that her two human children get bitten "occasionally." O_o
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 12/11/2012 - 4:41pm.
It's wrong to sleep with your monkey?
Yes!
And don't spank him,either.
I can't cum anymore since my monkey friend tore my fuck parts off, but send me a naked pic anyway!"
DYING from laughter!
It's wrong to sleep with your monkey?
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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/19/2012 - 10:19am.
Bitch, you are not better then Keanu Reeves!
I love non-human primates, but they have no business being pets. They are wild animals. She most likely acquired Darwin illegaly, and who knows what he could be carrying. Herpes Virus B for one.
Submitted by rukiddingme on Tue, 12/11/2012 - 4:24pm.
Hopefully Yasmin has learned a valuable lesson here, & that is to not buy wild animals and try to turn them into pets.
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She doesn't strike me as the kind of person that learns lessons. What's French-Canadian for "dumbass"?
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Wait..... she SHOWERS with that???
"shudders"
I love most animals EXCEPT monkeys. He's like an insane, hyperactive toddler (also on my "do not like" list). But I still feel sorry for him having to wear that damn leash & clothes. :(
He'll be better off at the sanctuary doing what he's supposed to do...
(a) being a monkey
(b) making monkey friends
(c) getting female monkeys to masterbate for oranges
(d) eventually getting some monkey nookie
(e) and best of all... doing "monkey hood rat shit" like M.E. wrote. (LOL-ing at that phrase)
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 12/11/2012 - 4:18pm.
Who the fuck is this?
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^^^ that's a monkey.
You're welcome! ♥
Submitted by rukiddingme on Tue, 12/11/2012 - 4:24pm.
I completely agree.
You know, animals are more than likely pampered in private home settings than sanctuaries, but in this case,I think Darwin is better off in one. Yasmin get's a side-eye from me.Showering with the monkey? Sleeping with the monkey?? Defintely smells like the makings of monkey abuse with this lady. Bitch it's called a boyfriend, you ain't right.
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
it really gives me the sads that the poor monkey baby may be confused and scared and missing his mama...
hopefully he's young enough for them to "redirect" him so he's not too traumatized.
Yasmin should know better.
on another note, I totally want to get a squatty potty O.o
He is adorable and I do understand Yasmin's concern over him being separated from her, since she's all he's known in his short life. However, she had absolutely no business acquiring him as a pet in the 1st place. Hopefully Yasmin has learned a valuable lesson here, & that is to not buy wild animals and try to turn them into pets. Hopefully Darwin adjusts to living in the sanctuary and is young enough to adapt and live a happy life w/other monkeys.
What's more sad than the fact that 10,000 animals got euthanized today? The fact that because of the ignorance of humans, it will happen again tomorrow. End the cycle. Spay and neuter your pets & please adopt your next pet from a shelter.
“How do we know what he needs unless he’s given the right to choose? I think he should be given the right to choose."
Lady, he's a MONKEY. If he had his "choice" he'd be napping, flinging poo, and jerking it all day (primates, so like us).
I know for damn sure he wouldn't be choosing to wear overalls.