The "Sexiest Man Alive" Is Going To Be The Sexiest Dad Alive
The Charming Potato who broke out of his little patch, moved to Hollywood and later became Steven Soderbergh's muse, twerked a baby right into his wife's body. Channing Tatum and his wife of 3 years Jenna Dewan-Tatum tells the magazine that gave him the "Sexiest Man Alive" title that sometimes when a husband rides his wife's pony bareback-style, a baby is made. People gave us the news like this:
The actor and his wife Jenna Dewan-Tatum ”are pleased to announce that they are expecting the birth of their first child next year,” reps for the couple confirm to PEOPLE exclusively.
Some source tells UsWeekly that Carol O'Neal and Jenna were actually surprised that one of his jizz fishes headbutted its way into one of her eggs, but they're happy that they'll have a baby friend next year. Channing is going to take a year off to be with his wife and newborn.
You might be wondering why a couple who does it bareback-style is surprised about getting pregnant, but I'll have you know that they were using condoms all the time. This is how their baby was made. One night, Jenna was coming out of the shower and as she was standing there naked, she looked across the bathroom and saw Channing Tatum trying to twerk out a stubborn shit on the toilet. If you're wondering what that looks like, here you go:
BOOM! Baby. Anybody who watches Channing pump his crotch into the air live and in person, gets pregnant. Half of his fortune is spent on the child support he has to pay all the men and women who got knocked up with his baby during the filming of Magic Mike.
Here's Jenna looking pregnant at VH1 Divas last night. No, I don't know what the hell she's wearing. She's dressed like a pregnant 15-year-old at her quinceañera.
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:twitch:
I still don't know how this meat face got famous, but it's not hard to suspect that he was passed around in every casting couch of Hollywood.
He only made it big this year and the tabloids were reporting about him since he was fat last year. Why do they let him act without CGI on?
Congrats on the baby. Hopefully he'll be so tied up looking after him that he won't have time to work any more.
Submitted by JessicaGiovanna on Mon, 12/17/2012 - 11:50pm.
Oh I won't judge you, but I will hurt you if you go near mah man!
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
This news makes me wonder what his cock would feel like inside me.
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"She's Black & I'm Gay--- we create culture."
Do the world a favor and shut up and bleed.
Has anyone told his boy toy yet?
She's pretty.. Hadn't really noticed her before... And I lust for Mr. Tatum.. Judge me all you want! Honk honk!
Good for them, not a fan of him but he doesn't bug me. I've read a few Details interviews with him and he seems like a fun dude to go get drunk with. And I was flipping through channels and saw a bit of Divas and thought "whoever that knocked up chick presenting with Elisha Cuthbert is, is pretty". Now I know
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Mon, 12/17/2012 - 7:48pm.
Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 12/17/2012 - 6:08pm. the cynicism gets old sometimes.
Unless you're the one doing it, right?
LS, I know I have my moments like everyone else, but there are some posters who practically make it a hobby to say something negative, even about positive posts and harmless, non fame-whore celebs. Whatever. Excuse me for not being completely jaded.
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There might have been a time when I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life
They can name it Tater Tot.
Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 12/17/2012 - 6:08pm.
God forbid a seemingly solid couple announce a pregnancy without speculation about him cheating or her trying to "cement her place in his life." I love you all, but the cynicism gets old sometimes.
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You're breaking up with us, aren't you? You love us but you're not 'in love with us'; is that it?
What do we have to do to make you love us again? We will believe the black kid did it; we will BELIEVE in the 'super connectedness' of LeAnne and Eddie; We will BELIEVE that Beyonce birthed her child and sports her natural hair...
I'm just funnin' wif ya, Hotty, I don't even know who either of these whores are, but what I do know is if they on the D, they fair game for SNARK.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Zorba,
Agreed. She looks like a meth head stripper to me.
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
Mr. Meaty Face is going to have a Mini Meaty face.
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Who cares about them? What about Jennifer Aniston's baby bump? Page Six is reporting she pulled out of two movies scheduled for next year.
She is GORGEOUS. That's gonna be a pretty baby. They seem nice and normal.
She looks much better pregnant. It helps even out the meth mouth.
Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 12/17/2012 - 6:08pm.
the cynicism gets old sometimes.
Unless you're the one doing it, right?
Did she get that constipated expression surgically fixed to her face?
Heh, I saw these pics of Jenna last night on another site and I thought 'those look like pregnant boobs' - I'm not of fan of either of them, but I've never read and reports of douchey behavior either, so congrats.
The sexiest man alive is Richard Armitage. Don't even try to argue with me.
God forbid a seemingly solid couple announce a pregnancy without speculation about him cheating or her trying to "cement her place in his life." I love you all, but the cynicism gets old sometimes.
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There might have been a time when I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life
Squinty folk should only marry within their own species, like Leanne Rimes and Eddie Cibrian.
She's really pretty and they seem normal.
Good for them.
If I start to fixate on the squinty there, I just replay that sweet ass dancing scene of his and I forget all about his eyes...
Congrats to them. Chick's hot too.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I have to agree with @Sans Fards I really want to like him and all that stuff but one look at his face and I move on.......
Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion
she's pretty hot
Can't hate. they seem like a nice couple who are together for the right reasons. Hated Magic Mike, though. Wanted to see lots of ass-and-peen shakin' and all I got was a cautionary drug tale and a no-chemistry-whatsoever romance (cue Richard Gere and Jodie Foster in Sommersby). If I want real life, I'll live it, thankyouverymuch.
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Mon, 12/17/2012 - 3:38pm.
ISMU, Bitch Please. you just love BABIES!
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I know!!! It's been a REALLY long time since I borrowed one, though!
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
They have been together for a few years, and seem happy. Good for them.
The press needs to stop trying to make her seem like a celeb though. She was even at the "Power Women Of Hollywood" lunch last week. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. hahahahaha
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And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
So they were using condoms consistently and his super jizz just burst on through to make a baby friend? Um...yeah okay.
que cochina: I was thinking the exact same thing.
These two look like king & queen at a midwest homecoming dance. No love or dislike for them, just meh.
I'm sure he is a nice person, but if I saw him on the street and didn't know who he was, I would not look twice.
Hekki ITA
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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/19/2012 - 10:19am.
Bitch, you are not better then Keanu Reeves!
I've never heard anything bad about them so they don't really bother me. Congrats to them on their new baby friend.
Hey, I had been with Mr. Hekki for eight years (married for two) when we had Eldest! I totally GET the traveling and saving up and all that.
I just think maybe she worried that now that he's all successful he would be tempted to trade up, so she had to cement her place in his life.
ISMU, Bitch Please. you just love BABIES!
He's not my thing and Magic Mike was one of the most embarrassing shitfests I've ever seen. He does seem to be a genuine, good guy and they are a sweet couple. I like babies for them.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
I think he's attractive enough. Not a fan of his ears. Hope the baby get's her ears.
Never got his appeal but I dont dislike him so congrats!!!! Now excuse me while I hunt after the man in snowpiece's avatar...,
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Also, when you end a statement with "Kim Kardashian is fabulous," all your previous points are INVALID, because obviously you have lost your damn mind." - MK
Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 12/17/2012 - 3:12pm.
Hekki, I know several couples who had ten or so years together before having kids.
Little Pushy was born one week before our 10th anniv. We married pretty young and boy did we enjoy our 20's. We planned it that way.
meh. I guess they're both alright. He is terribly overrated, looks-wise, though. A butterface fo sho.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Ah. I didn't notice the poster at first.
makes more sense. I'm glad they were at least sensible to date for three years (unlike a shaky 3 months) before tying the knot. They seem normal.
deadMau5 Kat von D. Take note.
shes wearing stoopid brain belt. ha ha.
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♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by CodeRed on Mon, 12/17/2012 - 3:17pm.
why are people going on bout ten years?...
Because they're both in an upcoming movie titled, "10 Years" and the movie poster is seen behind them. The pic is actually a photo shop job of an old pic of Channing and an old pic of Rosario Dawson, though:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Ten_Years_poster.jpg
CodeRed IDK I thought that because of the posters behind them that look like they are from some anniversary party ....
but maybe it's a movie poster??
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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/19/2012 - 10:19am.
Bitch, you are not better then Keanu Reeves!
He must. I wondered that, too.
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What About her? she looks like a cheater too.
Still happy for them. all i heard is nice stories about them so i cant hate
why are people going on bout ten years? They met in 2006 and married in 2009. it's on the US weekly link. and US weekly is always accurate. I do believe it, they met on set in 2006.
So I know the preggo whispers have been going on since she became a star, but recently posted pics of Jen Aniston look suspicious:
http://ll-media.tmz.com/2012/12/17/1217-jen-aniston-x17-article-3.jpg
Large meal? Beer bloat? She's normally just so fit.