What A Sexy And Festive Funeral Home Commercial
Leave it to Guatemala to sprinkle shredded fuckery all over this holiday season. When you think of coffins and funerals, you automatically think of sexy santas, right? So does Funeraria López (no relation to Jennifer Lopez, she wishes) in Guatemala, which is why they gave us this muy provocativo and erótico commercial starring a sexy vampire santa who comes alive in her coffin to give you a thumbs up. I'm giving her a thumbs up back, because this commercial is everything. It's doing it's job, because it's taken me higher and I might just faint into a coffin. Bury me in a sexy Santa outfit, please.
You know what, though. Maybe this commercial is getting lost in translation and it's not for a funeral home. Maybe it's really a commercial for a holiday-themed sex club for necrophiliacs. Either way, it's a beautiful Navidad gift.
via Gawker
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Let's eroticize death! Sex sells, people. I remember the Rolling Stone cover of Jim Morrison: He's young, he's hot and he's dead!
Um, no.
During Easter they stage resurrections, with wires that lift the sexy chicks out of the coffin and into heaven.
LOL! What happens at Easter?
Submitted by misslainey on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:20pm.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:52pm
That's what I was thinking! Like, a lot of people had to have asked for them to point out that they cannot do it. I could see them doing this if it were 1982, but this was 2010.
Christine, I didn't hold it in. It was a full on guffaw. My mother apologized for my outburst, but even she had to laugh 'cause it was funny as hell. The poor funeral director didn't know what to say.
You could also get your nails did, i still have the info somewhere.
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Omg! That story had me cracking up, which I needed today, but, when I was reading it, this just constantly came to mind...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAztPZBQrrU
Just let yoooooooooour Soooooul Glooooo
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
GOLD! my coworker who i love is from guatemala...i need answers! and i believe she can provide them...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Submitted by misslainey on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:49pm.
she said that they could do any type of hair service EXCEPT a Jheri curl. she went on to explain that the reason they could not do the Jheri is because a dead body does not generate body heat.
That is bloody hilarious.
I think by far the most interesting funeral story I heard came out a few years ago when a Taiwanese dude paid his last respects to his pappi, by buying a stripper to dance at his funeral...
http://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/entertainment/taiwanese-man-hires-st...
What a thoughtful son.
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
Submitted by misslainey on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:20pm.
Because I'm gonna care what my nails look like when I'm dead. I wish I had been there with you guys.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:52pm
That's what I was thinking! Like, a lot of people had to have asked for them to point out that they cannot do it. I could see them doing this if it were 1982, but this was 2010.
Christine, I didn't hold it in. It was a full on guffaw. My mother apologized for my outburst, but even she had to laugh 'cause it was funny as hell. The poor funeral director didn't know what to say.
You could also get your nails did, i still have the info somewhere.
This reminds me of my all-time favorite Christmas commercial, which is an ancient Folgers Coffee commercial from deep in the eighties which ran every year through most of my childhood: Peter Comes Home!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4kNl7cQdcU
Submitted by misslainey on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:49pm.
With apologies to your mother, that's fucking hilarious. HOW did you keep a straight face? I would have been on the floor.
And yet it's still more tasteful than the Kartrashian Kard!
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Kitten Kaboodle - a Disney ho who did the ho stroll right ;)
Check out mah page, horz! ;)
https://www.facebook.com/OrderOfTheDimensions
Submitted by misslainey on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:49pm.
That is actually hilarious. For them to say it, I just imagine there are some people who were like, "I don't care what else they do to me, just make sure they bury me with my Jheri curl!"
Submitted by misslainey on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:49pm.
Well, that just made my night, LOL.
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
Year before last, my mom had me come with her to a funeral home where you could make payments. Anyway, the funeral director was going over the price list, which included beauty services. I knew that, but what sent me over the edge was when she said that they could do any type of hair service EXCEPT a Jheri curl. Try as I might, I could not hold my laughter in. I mean, what person, dead or alive will request a Jheri curl? It got worse when she went on to explain that the reason they could not do the Jheri is because a dead body does not generate body heat.
I know it doesn't sound funny, but it was so surreal for me. A Jheri curl. For real?
Awesome!
Hahaha! This makes me reconsider my decision to be cremated! This is what you'd get if you requested the Sabado Gigante funeral services! Que comico!
Submitted by little_rascal on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:16pm.
WELL.... You are going to be dead one day.
reminds me of the time my son talked about moving to Africa, and I said his grandmother could go with us, and he said, "Oh no, she'll be dead"!
Double post, sorry.
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
Oh okay then. Because making funerals sexier is always really festive?
I loved how they scanned up the girl's legs and then her thumb up of approval. You too might end up with a leggy brunette in your coffin if you die and get buried with us!
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
Looks like someone threw SCTV's Tex and Edna Boil and Telemundo's "12 Corazones" in a Mixmaster and set it on high.
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 9:51pm.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 9:46pm.
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Yes, some people think like this. Their names are Jack, beb, Whamo, the guy with the pig Avi or pig name (can't remember his name for some odd reason!) and a few other man-whore posters we're blessed with here on the D.
LMAO!
OT but if any of you have that youtube Old Navy commercial underneath this post, WATCH it! It has Boyz to Men (singing something that sounds like Mowtownphilly) and Jordan Knight. Very, very cute.
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
Ahahahaha!
Some local funeral home keeps mailing me offers of special reduced rate installment plan on a cemetery plot. WTF?
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Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 9:46pm.
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Dunno Louise, I'd like to think that if Gandy, funeral director gave me a pamphlet, and Boner (in a sexy Santa outfit) took the time to show me around a casket or two, that I too could be swayed to use them at my next funeral. Jussayin. :D
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 9:46pm.
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LOLOLOLOL got we got that straight. ;D
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Damn, I meant ba buttons too.
There is some other guy I am thinking of who once said he stays with his wife out of some kind of love, but also duty - obligation, etc., And I think his name or his Avi has some sort of swine in it. He posts a lot, I just cannot remember his name because I am old and senile but his post about his marriage made me remember him.
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 9:51pm.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 9:46pm.
Do funeral homes really need to advertise? Are people really going to think, "Well, I was going to go with Rodriguez Brothers, but Funeraria López had those slutty Santas, so I'm going with them."
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Yes, some people think like this. Their names are Jack, beb, Whamo, the guy with the pig Avi or pig name (can't remember his name for some odd reason!)
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It's ba-buttons - bee ay dash bee ay you tee tee oh en ess
And Vida Blue is no pig.
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Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 11:56am.
Liver spotted hand
Groping while I cry inside
Merit badge and meth
after the last post, this was a greet mind washer. I actually feel alive again. thanks vampira Santa claus.
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
Submitted by mike on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 9:54pm.
Please! my stomach hurts from laughing.
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 9:49pm.
Does that mean "what" tell me it does.
I know Spanish!!!!!
Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 9:46pm.
Do funeral homes really need to advertise? Are people really going to think, "Well, I was going to go with Rodriguez Brothers, but Funeraria López had those slutty Santas, so I'm going with them."
Hey, a funeral is for the survivors.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 9:46pm.
Do funeral homes really need to advertise?
OMG, LMFAO
I normally don't hang around the D on and off all day, but it's a slow day and you guys are killing me...
Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 9:46pm.
Do funeral homes really need to advertise? Are people really going to think, "Well, I was going to go with Rodriguez Brothers, but Funeraria López had those slutty Santas, so I'm going with them."
****************************
Yes, some people think like this. Their names are Jack, beb, Whamo, the guy with the pig Avi or pig name (can't remember his name for some odd reason!) and a few other man-whore posters we're blessed with here on the D.
________________________________
Dark-sided!
It's like Satan's imps are welcoming you into the gates of Hell.
¿Por qué?
Do funeral homes really need to advertise? Are people really going to think, "Well, I was going to go with Rodriguez Brothers, but Funeraria López had those slutty Santas, so I'm going with them."
All this commercial lacks is La Pequena!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
This ad reminds me of the start of every Six Feet Under episode. BIZARRE.
"muy provocativo and erótico commercial" - MK, Elay is doing you good Mr. Navidad. hahaha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Tue, 12/18/2012 - 9:33pm.
bahaha what the hell did I just watch?
Don't ask me. I think I just had an acid flashback to high school.
Is everyone in this advertacion on downers?
bahaha what the hell did I just watch?
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Yes, because nothing says holiday like a funeral home.
Feliz Navidad D-lista perras!