Open Post: Hosted By Jessica Simpson's New Weight Watchers Commercial
In Jessica Simpson's first commercial for Weight Watchers, they only showed her FACE! and about 1/100th of her Cinerama Dome titties, because she wasn't at her goal weight yet and Paula Abdul refused to give them the secret thinning technology she used for her Promise of A New Day video. Now here's Jessica's newest Weight Watchers commercial and they actually show her entire body. While trying to remind us that she was once Daisy Duke, she tells us that she's free, 50 pounds lighter and she's totally in control top panty hose. Well, she's mostly in control. Jessica seemed to forget that she got knocked up again, because her gold digging piece switched her chocolate-covered birth control pills with chocolate-covered Smarties.
Since a Great Lake of Amniotic Fluid is forming in Jessica's body, she's not really going to look like that in a couple of months. But since she wants to keep that Weight Watchers money coming in, don't expect her to ever admit that she's pregnant. At CaCee Cobb's wedding over the weekend, Jessica held a bouquet in front of her growing fetus cocoon the entire time. So as she continues to get bigger, she'll cover her bump with a briefcase, then a potted plant, then a basket full of German Shepard puppies, then a Kardashian and then Randy's Giant Donut. She's gonna Heather Locklear it the entire time.
via The Daily Mail
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Stoney - get him a subscription to Highlights or something. Parents with libraries for their toddlers live that kind of shit.
Sarah Smile
Thank you, Que. That's a really good explanation. She is severely anemic.
Thanks Betsy, I really do appreciate it.
Submitted by CashewTime. on Thu, 12/20/2012 - 1:10am.
So glad you enjoyed it. I love the one you posted.
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And, thank you for the return Christmas wishes, y'all. :)
Within, you are a doll.
AtomicCity, sorry you are going through this. Sending good thoughts to you and your family.
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"Marriage is what you do when you decide one cock is good enough to let the owner annoy you for the rest of your life." - TrashyWilma
Tammy is so cute when she 'butches it up'!!!
Atomic City - does your mother in law have a form of leukemia or a chronic anemic disorder? Sometimes, in those situations, the spleen is damaged and becomes enlarged (splenomegaly) and it actually becomes a detriment to the system, so the docs perform a splenectomy. Those are very simplified terms, I know, but it's possible that's why they're performing the splenectomy. I hope all goes well and you trust she's in a good hospital with good surgeons/staff. Best wishes.
Submitted by liverwurst on Thu, 12/20/2012 - 12:54am.
Hey, why don't you all exchange numbers so the rest of us don't have to read your snooze fest? It interferes with snarky ass comment reading....seriously.
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This is Open Post, babe. Shooo!.......seriously.
Thanks so much GG, Weezy and Cashew (thanks for mentioning Twatty, I may have to pick her brain next time I "see" her)! I sincerely appreciate the kind words and positive thoughts. This is so much more difficult than I would ever imagine.
Wait a minute. Did she really lose weight doing the Weight Watchers with the points and stuff? I thought it wasn't working for her, which is why they put her on a shake/smoothie diet, which is not what Weight Watchers advocates. Seems like false advertising to me.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
liver doesn't understand the concept of open post. It's okay dude, you'll catch on one day.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Fuck, wrong thread.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Atomic City- I'm so sorry you are having to go through that right now. I wish I had better advice to give you. I will keep good thoughts for you and your family.
betseyfan2,
I usually don't care for Christmas music, but I love this song. Thanks for Irma Thomas. I also like this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZY5rB067518
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
Submitted by liverwurst on Thu, 12/20/2012 - 12:54am.
Erm, this is OP...There are how many other posts today? I think there's plenty for you to read without snarking on other commenters.
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
Hey, why don't you all exchange numbers so the rest of us don't have to read your snooze fest? It interferes with snarky ass comment reading....seriously.
CtH- Dreamboat's drunken santa hat suits him perfectly.
Twatty- I know you are gone, but that's very kind of you to say. My SIL lives at the other end of the suburbs, Mokena.
I'm sure Parker will be sending the happy couple a lovely flaming bag of shit baby gift.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
I am so sorry that is happening in your life AtomicCity. You have always been pretty compasionate to the rest of us freaks on this site and I wish I could say something to help you. I dont know why they would take outher spleen. All I know is that she'll be more prone to infection after its out. There never is a good time for these things to happen and I am sorry that they are piling up on you. Really I am. I will send you good thoughts and hope that some doctor helps to enlighten you more on this and that your poor husband keeps it together. This blows. Sending you my hugs.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by AtomicCity on Thu, 12/20/2012 - 12:22am.
Arg Twatty would be perfect for this discussion, but I think she just fell asleep. Sorry for your troubles, Atomic. Hope it gets better soon.
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
Recently I've read a few of y'all mention being anemic and receiving transfusions and such and I have some questions. My MIL has been in the hospital since October 29th. She's constantly losing blood and has been having at least a couple of transfusions per week--receiving either whole blood or platelets. She's in a hospital in the middle of nowhere, and all of her doctors constantly disagree with one another...well, the one thing they apparently all agree on is that none of them have been able to find a cause for her constant blood loss. She lives 2 hrs away so her son and I only get to spend weekends with her, which means we don't get to talk with her drs as often as we'd like.
Today her surgeon said she'll have her spleen removed on Dec 29th. She's justifiably frustrated. She called and said that she's too tired to keep doing this and is ready to die, but she wants to go home first.
My husband is her POA and executor of her estate, so he's had to handle all business affairs as well as emotional and personal. He's also the youngest of her 4 sons and is virtually handling all of this on his own. It's absolutely heartbreaking.
My emotions are all over the place and I'm just not dealing with things well. I've recently had surgery and am on medical leave so between all of these meds, being unable to physically do anything (even go for a walk) and having entirely too much time on my hands is driving me bonkers.
I offered to look into having her transferred to the local hospital but she doesn't want to start all over, and I can't say I blame her.
Can anyone explain the benefits of having her spleen removed in regards to her platelet production? This stuff is so confusing to me and my brain is so scattered right now.
I spend 10 hrs a day trying to convince other people to talk their way through whatever is going on in their lives and here I am completely falling apart. It's a good thing I have a fantastic therapist.
hoff -- now I can't see your avie. Then again, I couldn't see my Xmas avie for nearly a week.
Louise -- if your in-laws don't like you that's their problem -- how can they NOT love you? You're so sweet & funny! BTW, SIL's crib is in Lake Geneva.
I'm going to bed peeps -- later! I'll probably dream of evil, zombified country bears!
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
IT'S THE HOLY BEAVER LAMB, ALL BOW DOWN.
LOL thanks you guys!
Icould draw a nice neat hat, but for him???? fuck that.
okay, my dog is chewing on his ass and grunting.
life is good. it's 10:45 and I get up at six. fuck.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 11:35pm.
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First off, I'd turn every toy to face the wall. By then the feeling would have passed, hehe Second of all, ladies take tinkles. They gracefully fall in and disappear, LOL! Yeah, those things would freak me out.
@Cashew, when I tried drawing one it did not look good at all. I was more of a whoopee cushion. CTH's hat suits the Dreamboat.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Hoof, Dream Boat looks spiffy!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
lol Withy,
I see a baby lamb. Perfect for this holy season!
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
CTH, don't laugh but I see a red beaver sitting on the snow atop Dreamboat's drank head. IOW, very festive. Wish I'd made a floppy one, they're way better. ☺
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Well, doesnt Dreamboat look cheery! :O
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
WR, can you just imagine ALL of those teddy bears watching you take a dump!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Thanks within!
Thank GOD for computers, it's been raining all day long and miserable and after I walked the dog and did all the laundry and shit, I would have died of boredom. not a big huge tv person.
And eat food you're not suppose to, it'll drive them around the bend.
CTH, I see it now.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 11:25pm.
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Don't forget mess with the towels and move the cans in the cupboard. They're not fans of yours? Some people are full-time grinches. Hope it's short visit. If they kick you out for messing with stuff, win-win.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Now that I think about it, that avvie suits him, it's all fucked up like he is.... lol.
I SEE HIM.
LMAO his hat looks like a drunk did it and I don't drink..... hahaha
I tried again, maybe I have to log off or something...
Now I don't see any avi for CtF.
WR- I know. I'm not looking forward to seeing my in-laws. They aren't big fans of me.
Hofferers avie was there for a few seconds, and then i refreshed and she had posted : Fuck me. And it was gone ;-((((
How odd. I can't see Christine the hoff's avie at all. Sometimes you can see them after a few minutes, others times not. huh.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Hoffalina, it worked. Dreamboat with Santa hat!!
Thank you kindly, louise
Twatty, GG, Louise, hearing about your SIL/acquaintances is making me anxious. I'm grinding my teeth just thinking of all the little beady eyes staring at me... lol :$
@UBF, I've had that fantasy numerous times. Sometimes he's wearing cop uniform, other times it's firefighter... ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Fuck me. my santa hat pete won't show up. he was pretty too. lol.
I see it. Just refresh your page a few times and it will show up.
can't get my santa hat picture to show up.
test
This better work
Submitted by WithinReason... on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 10:54pm.
Luckily I am already home and my neighbor's homes look nothing like mine. The clock now reads 8:35 PM. Damn I am old.
Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 10:41pm.
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Ah, the company must have been good if you couldn't tear yourself away from the seat. Totally worth it. Just don't go in the wrong apartment when it's time to go home.
Will do. Thinking of something fun to do right after Christmas.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 12/19/2012 - 10:43pm.
I wish I knew, because I would so completely avoid that place for the rest of my life. She said to me once, "I don't bother with clothes that are in style, because they are just going to go out of style again." You know, I'm not exactly a fashionista, but there is a huge difference between kitten sweatshirts with Peter Pan collars and a crisp, tailored white button down blouse (that never goes out of style).
I forgot to mention that she also decorated their house in teddy bears. They have even have a teddy bear wallpaper border.